Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wanted: Luck
Please take a brief moment to send some good vibes my way. I am interviewing for a position this afternoon and I could really use all the help I can get. I am very concerned about what will happen if I don't get this job. I am right for this school. I am right for the position. We just have to convince the principal.
Freudian?
It seems that in all the chaos of my week, I forgot to do the weigh-in. Could this be because in all the chaos of my week, I managed to gain back almost everything I had lost? The holiday weekend filled with lying around doing nothing but snacking didn't help. Not to worry, I am back on the right track, and currently only +2 from last time. Just out of curiosity - why is it so hard to lose 5 pounds (taking many weeks) and so easy to gain the same (taking only a day or two)?
So, how are you doing?
PS - nice job, Thom! :)
So, how are you doing?
PS - nice job, Thom! :)
Friday, May 25, 2007
Some Thoughts on Stress
Things have been a tiny bit stressful lately. (I feel like an ass saying that knowing what some people have been going through at the same time, but this is my blog, so bear with me.) The traditional end-of-the-year chaos has been multiplied by the fact that I am having to find a new position and pack my entire classroom for relocation. Because of my trip to Virginia/D.C., this has to be done BEFORE the last day of school - not an easy feat. Most recently, I have been getting my kids ready for a talent show (which we put on yesterday), including creating props, teaching curtain/light/sound skills, and trying to convince them that it will look better if they FACE THE AUDIENCE!
Anyway. There was a moment earlier this week, when all of this combined to actually throw my brain into overload. I could feel the moment when my grey matter finally said, "That's it. I quit." What had been hard became impossible. What had been complicated became confusing. All the very important things on that running list in my brain were forgotten. The file just disappeared. Instead of being friendly, I was crabby and snippy. When I finally got through to the end of that day, I did some thinking on it.
I believe that what happened is my system went into Fight or Flight mode. I reached the point where my instincts decided that I was actually in danger. My brain clicked into survival gear - only that which is necessary for survival is considered. Years of evolution prevented me from actually fleeing the scene (although there was a moment when it was seriously considered), but I was functioning on a purely instinctual level for some time. This, of course, only added to the stress, since I couldn't fight anything OR run away. I had to spend the rest of the afternoon forcing myself to do the things I needed to do despite my defiant brain.
The next morning, I was fine. My brain had gone back to normal and I was able to easily take care of some things that had been completely overwhelming and impossible the previous day. In fact, realizing that I was in Fight or Flight actually helped me. I was able to look at things in terms of Vital/Not Vital. My mental To Do list got a lot shorter and I felt much more capable of handling it. There is something very relaxing about realizing, "Well, if that doesn't get done it won't be the end of the world. In fact, no one but me will even notice."
Anyway. There was a moment earlier this week, when all of this combined to actually throw my brain into overload. I could feel the moment when my grey matter finally said, "That's it. I quit." What had been hard became impossible. What had been complicated became confusing. All the very important things on that running list in my brain were forgotten. The file just disappeared. Instead of being friendly, I was crabby and snippy. When I finally got through to the end of that day, I did some thinking on it.
I believe that what happened is my system went into Fight or Flight mode. I reached the point where my instincts decided that I was actually in danger. My brain clicked into survival gear - only that which is necessary for survival is considered. Years of evolution prevented me from actually fleeing the scene (although there was a moment when it was seriously considered), but I was functioning on a purely instinctual level for some time. This, of course, only added to the stress, since I couldn't fight anything OR run away. I had to spend the rest of the afternoon forcing myself to do the things I needed to do despite my defiant brain.
The next morning, I was fine. My brain had gone back to normal and I was able to easily take care of some things that had been completely overwhelming and impossible the previous day. In fact, realizing that I was in Fight or Flight actually helped me. I was able to look at things in terms of Vital/Not Vital. My mental To Do list got a lot shorter and I felt much more capable of handling it. There is something very relaxing about realizing, "Well, if that doesn't get done it won't be the end of the world. In fact, no one but me will even notice."
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Happy 29 Years to Me!!!
You know what makes me feel really good?
On my birthday, the one day on which I am allowed to do WHATEVER I want, I choose to do the same things I always do. I spend the day laughing and playing with my students. I come home to my comfy home and spend the evening with my wonderful husband. My life is so good, that there isn't anything better I would hope for.
Oh. And also, I am very glad to be the age I am. I am still young enough that everyone around me comments on how young I am, but I am old enough to be past all the crap that goes along with being in your early 20s. I am no longer looking for myself. As mentioned above, I have not only found myself, I am thrilled with what I have found. :)
That makes me feel good.
On my birthday, the one day on which I am allowed to do WHATEVER I want, I choose to do the same things I always do. I spend the day laughing and playing with my students. I come home to my comfy home and spend the evening with my wonderful husband. My life is so good, that there isn't anything better I would hope for.
Oh. And also, I am very glad to be the age I am. I am still young enough that everyone around me comments on how young I am, but I am old enough to be past all the crap that goes along with being in your early 20s. I am no longer looking for myself. As mentioned above, I have not only found myself, I am thrilled with what I have found. :)
That makes me feel good.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
20/20 Challenge
It's time to weigh in.
I hit my lowest weight in pretty much the last 12 months this week, but I have since come up a bit from there. I am still down 5 from my starting point. Yay, me!
How's it going for YOU?
I hit my lowest weight in pretty much the last 12 months this week, but I have since come up a bit from there. I am still down 5 from my starting point. Yay, me!
How's it going for YOU?
These Days
SO...It turns out that the more things change, the more they stay the same. :) Since that is a work related complaint, I'm going to leave it at that.
Some things I CAN talk about...
There are only 19 days of school left. This would be a very exciting thought if it weren't for all the stuff I have to do between now and then. It's a might overwhelming. The one redeeming factor is that no matter what, it will all be over by June 15th. :)
I am taking a few students on a bonus (re: expensive) field trip to the East Coast immediately following the last day of school. We will be going to Jamestown, Colonial Williamsburg, Monticello, Mount Vernon, and Washington, D.C. It's going to be a whirlwind tour (the 15th to the 20th), but I am very much looking forward to it. I have never been to the birthplace of our country, and I am very interested to see these places I teach about with my own eyes.
The puppies have been much better lately. They still get kenneled when we aren't around (which means we have to be around most of the time - goodbye summer trip!) and during the night, but they are respecting the fence enough to be trusted out during daylight hours.
Things are going well for the most part. While the work situation remains chaotic (and will stay that way until the end of the year, I'm sure), home continues to be calm and relaxing. Everyone is healthy (thank goodness for Airborne!) and happy. What more can I ask?
Some things I CAN talk about...
There are only 19 days of school left. This would be a very exciting thought if it weren't for all the stuff I have to do between now and then. It's a might overwhelming. The one redeeming factor is that no matter what, it will all be over by June 15th. :)
I am taking a few students on a bonus (re: expensive) field trip to the East Coast immediately following the last day of school. We will be going to Jamestown, Colonial Williamsburg, Monticello, Mount Vernon, and Washington, D.C. It's going to be a whirlwind tour (the 15th to the 20th), but I am very much looking forward to it. I have never been to the birthplace of our country, and I am very interested to see these places I teach about with my own eyes.
The puppies have been much better lately. They still get kenneled when we aren't around (which means we have to be around most of the time - goodbye summer trip!) and during the night, but they are respecting the fence enough to be trusted out during daylight hours.
Things are going well for the most part. While the work situation remains chaotic (and will stay that way until the end of the year, I'm sure), home continues to be calm and relaxing. Everyone is healthy (thank goodness for Airborne!) and happy. What more can I ask?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Testing
We are in the middle of our big standardized testing week. This means that we (by we, I mean the kids) work like dogs for the first few hours of the day (gotta test them when they're freshest) and then act like lunatics for the rest. It's been quite animated in my room. We're working on several more artistic projects (while still being adequately academic, just in case someone important walks in) that are keeping them involved fairly well. I have gotten several things done thanks to the two hour block of testing in the morning. Nice quiet time for me.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
This post is brought to you by the number 8.
That's how many miles I ended up walking yesterday. Actually, that is a guess. I am working on the assumption that a regulation track is about 1/4 mile long. I walked 32 laps. I could have done at least 10 miles if I hadn't been taking time to help my pal "S" with the running of the booth. That, and taking longer than strictly necessary for lunch.
It was lots of fun...there were tons of people there and all kinds of information about cancer testing, prevention, and assistance. They had really loud music playing all day long (I came home with a headache) that kept us moving. There was a Ms. Relay contest for the guys. My student was one of the ones who dressed up to try to get additional donations. It was pretty funny. I also bought a bright green hat shaped like a monkey.
Just before I left, they were putting out the luminary bags (paper bags with rocks and a candle inside). "S" took pictures of each of my bags, one for Kate and one for my grandpas. I will post those pics as soon as she emails them to me. Since she was up all night for the Relay, I'm guessing that won't be until later in the week.
I am excited about putting together my own team next year. I'm hoping I can get some teachers and students to work on raising donations and such next year. I managed to raise $195 with my minimal fundraising efforts (I only had a week to get ready). Next year, I'll do better. The Relay raised somewhere around $36, 000 total and our team raised...I forget...around $1,500 maybe? I'll get the final numbers from "S" and let you know. Thanks to everyone who helped out. And thanks to everyone who is helping Kate these days. That's even more important.
It was lots of fun...there were tons of people there and all kinds of information about cancer testing, prevention, and assistance. They had really loud music playing all day long (I came home with a headache) that kept us moving. There was a Ms. Relay contest for the guys. My student was one of the ones who dressed up to try to get additional donations. It was pretty funny. I also bought a bright green hat shaped like a monkey.
Just before I left, they were putting out the luminary bags (paper bags with rocks and a candle inside). "S" took pictures of each of my bags, one for Kate and one for my grandpas. I will post those pics as soon as she emails them to me. Since she was up all night for the Relay, I'm guessing that won't be until later in the week.
I am excited about putting together my own team next year. I'm hoping I can get some teachers and students to work on raising donations and such next year. I managed to raise $195 with my minimal fundraising efforts (I only had a week to get ready). Next year, I'll do better. The Relay raised somewhere around $36, 000 total and our team raised...I forget...around $1,500 maybe? I'll get the final numbers from "S" and let you know. Thanks to everyone who helped out. And thanks to everyone who is helping Kate these days. That's even more important.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Trainwreck
For fear of putting my job more at risk than it already is, I hesitate to say too much here. However, I must vent a bit, not to mention getting some of this down for some time in the distant future when I need a good laugh.
As I have already told you (I think), I am being downsized at my school. In a nutshell, they built another school nearby that is taking away a large portion of our population (approximately 28%). This means that they are going to need 10 fewer teachers than we currently have. So, I interviewed recently for a position at the new school (the only positions they were flying). Yesterday, I learned (in a way that makes it painfully obviously just how little HRD thinks of us teachers) that I had not been picked up. Not really surprising considering that I was one of 90 applicants for ~17 positions.
Today, I learned that there are even more changes in store for my beautiful school. Enough changes that I might potentially end up being able to stay due to other people choosing to leave. Enough changes that I don't really want to stay any longer.
This whole thing has been one big, long, disturbing trainwreck. The way information is withheld and people mistreated goes a long way toward making me think about looking at other districts. I'm not ready to do that yet, but it wouldn't take much of an incentive to make it happen.
The worst part is how all this upheaval affects my teaching. It is difficult to focus on the needs of the students when your own basic needs aren't being met. One can only take so much uncertainty and confusion before one starts to crack. Luckily, I know where my cracking point is. I spent the day wrapped in a warm blanket, watching crappy mysteries, and playing Kingdom of Loathing (with an occasional visit to the kenneled dogs, who are still doing their best to escape the confines of our little yard). Come Monday, I am going to try to put all this behind me and focus on enjoying the last few weeks I have with this charming crew of mine.
As I have already told you (I think), I am being downsized at my school. In a nutshell, they built another school nearby that is taking away a large portion of our population (approximately 28%). This means that they are going to need 10 fewer teachers than we currently have. So, I interviewed recently for a position at the new school (the only positions they were flying). Yesterday, I learned (in a way that makes it painfully obviously just how little HRD thinks of us teachers) that I had not been picked up. Not really surprising considering that I was one of 90 applicants for ~17 positions.
Today, I learned that there are even more changes in store for my beautiful school. Enough changes that I might potentially end up being able to stay due to other people choosing to leave. Enough changes that I don't really want to stay any longer.
This whole thing has been one big, long, disturbing trainwreck. The way information is withheld and people mistreated goes a long way toward making me think about looking at other districts. I'm not ready to do that yet, but it wouldn't take much of an incentive to make it happen.
The worst part is how all this upheaval affects my teaching. It is difficult to focus on the needs of the students when your own basic needs aren't being met. One can only take so much uncertainty and confusion before one starts to crack. Luckily, I know where my cracking point is. I spent the day wrapped in a warm blanket, watching crappy mysteries, and playing Kingdom of Loathing (with an occasional visit to the kenneled dogs, who are still doing their best to escape the confines of our little yard). Come Monday, I am going to try to put all this behind me and focus on enjoying the last few weeks I have with this charming crew of mine.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Bad Dog (Owner)
Remember how I left the gate open and allowed the dogs to run free a few weeks back? Well, guess what? I managed to do it again last Friday. It took an hour to get them back, and we never actually managed to catch them, they simply returned home when there were tired and thirsty enough. Stupid dogs. Stupider dog owner.
Yesterday Mia managed to dig under the fence and bother the neighbor lady again. Ugh. Thanks to my idiocy, we are still keeping a close rein on the puppies to prevent any further escapes.
Yesterday Mia managed to dig under the fence and bother the neighbor lady again. Ugh. Thanks to my idiocy, we are still keeping a close rein on the puppies to prevent any further escapes.
Keep Dancing!
On Saturday, I will be participating in a cancer fundraiser. I am going to be part of a Relay for Life. The local Young Marines group will have several teams in attendance. I am partially motivated to join in order to provide one of my students with an incentive to come to school (I really will do anything!). Even more, I am going to walk in honor of my friends and family members who have battled or are battling cancer. I have lost many family members to various forms of cancer. I have watched my aunt bravely battle cancer for the last few years. I am excited to be helping raise money to fund research that might one day provide cures for the cancers that have plagued my friends and family.
If you are interested in joining me in this fight, please follow this link to my personal webpage. I am hoping to raise $250 before Saturday. As far as I can tell, there is no per lap donation, it is strictly a flat donation of your choice. Every little bit helps! Thank you for your support.
Keep Dancing!
If you are interested in joining me in this fight, please follow this link to my personal webpage. I am hoping to raise $250 before Saturday. As far as I can tell, there is no per lap donation, it is strictly a flat donation of your choice. Every little bit helps! Thank you for your support.
Keep Dancing!
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