Observations

We had to take a trip to our new town this afternoon in order to procure ourselves a PO box. While there, I enjoyed a meal at my new favorite restaurant (has to be, it's the only one within 30 miles) and made an observation of sorts.

First, let me explain my background a bit. I grew up in the middle of the woods, 5 miles from the nearest convenience store, 30 miles from the nearest grocery store/hospital/school, 60 miles from the nearest mall, and 120 miles from the nearest airport. In my family, you planned ahead when it came to purchasing, you knew your neighbors (having grown up playing with the kids), and you knew how to take care of yourself.

Since leaving home, especially since moving to CA, I have drifted quite far from that life. Right this minute, I live within walking distance of a grocery store, medical assistance, several schools, and more people than I can count. The mall is 5 miles (and 30 minutes) away and the airport is 50 miles. I can make a quick trip to the store for marshmallows in 5 minutes, I didn't meet anyone in my neighborhood (beyond a quick hello) until last month, and for awhile I was paying someone to mow my lawn.

We haven't even moved to the house in Anza yet, and I have already had more conversations with neighbors than I have had here. The waitress at my favorite restaurant lives about 1/2 a mile down the road from us. We learned this when she asked if I taught in Temecula. She recognized me from when her kids attended my school. The guy who is selling is the house lives a few miles away. And the man at the counter of the Post Office took the time to rib us about leaving the city to come to a little backwoods place like Anza.

So. My observation goes something like this. It seems that you would be closer to your neighbors in the city. You have more of them and you are closer. This is not true, and I think it is because you are constantly feeling as though you are invading their personal space. Afterall, you don't want anyone to notice when you run to the mail in your pajamas or take out the trash in curlers, so you try to return the favor. In an effort to provide privacy to the people next door (despite the fact that you can hear their toilet flush and see into their living room from your driveway), you put up an invisible wall. Unfortunately, the wall is often overly effective, blocking out any and all interactions, not just the uncomfortable ones.

In the country it is just the opposite. You would think people would be more distant, what with the...well...distance between them, but they aren't. I think this is two-fold. First, when it takes 30 minutes to get to the closest source of flour, knocking on the nearest door to borrow some doesn't sound quite so bad. Second, when you don't have to spend every waking minute pretending you don't see everything going on with your closest neighbor, it is easier to take the time to actually see them. You can converse more smoothly when you aren't wondering if they heard that fight you had with your darling hubby the night before. Perhaps there is something to the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

What do you think? Am I right? Wrong (gasp - could it be?)? What would you add?