Interview

Yesterday, I interviewed for another position. (It seems like I've interviewed a lot, but that's only because I am a whiner. This was only my second interview.) I wish I could say I have total confidence that I am going to get the job, but I just don't know what to think. I was in there for about the same amount of time as everyone else, but most of it was spent chatting. She asked me two basic questions, one about my recent growth as a teacher and one about my ideas on how to develop a cohesive/cooperative team. Then she said, "Well, I already know you pretty well, so I'm not going to waste your time asking a bunch of nitpicky questions." Or something along those lines. We chatted a little more and than I left.

Augh!

I didn't get to sell myself. I know she already knows me, but I walked out feeling like I didn't get a chance to tell her how great I am. I get the feeling that this means she has already decided what she's going to do. Either she already knows she wants me and doesn't feel the need to make me jump through hoops (which means I should stop complaining), or she already knows she doesn't want me and doesn't feel the need to waste my time (which means I am going to start competing with the high schoolers for that deli clerk job at the grocery store cause I can't take any more of this). I just wish I knew which one it was. I would hope that if it was the latter, she would have at least given me a chance to convince her otherwise, but who knows.

The hardest part is that I want to harness the power of positive thinking. I want to tell myself and the universe that I don't have to worry because this is MY job and I'm going to get it. However, I know that if I do that and I don't get the job, I am going to be destroyed. It will be bad enough if I DON'T get my hopes up. If I do, I will be a wreck. I think about how devestated I was to not get the last position, and I don't know if I can take that again. So, I am sitting here, trying not to get too down, but trying not to get too up. It is a difficult balancing act.