I wanted to reply to JB's comments, but I figure it is better to do it here than in a comment box...there is a 2500 word limit, you know! : )

First, I want to say that I don't have an issue with teaching opposing ideas. My problem is that they aren't teaching enough opposing ideas. I say teach our kids that there are LOTS of ideas and lots of theories...that is, after all, what they all are - even evolution. But to say that what they are doing is balanced? I really don't think it is. Balanced between those two ideas, perhaps, but considering that there are dozens - if not hundreds - of creation stories and theories out there I find this very unbalanced. I see it as an attempt of the majority to once again push their beliefs on the minority.

Granted, I look at the whole thing from a different point of view than many. I have no organized religion. I have my own faith and belief system and it isn't connected to any one writing or building or organization. I don't need to convince anyone else in the world that what I believe is true. Unfortunately, I think most organized religions inherently have a need to convert and defend. If they don't there is the chance they will lose their members to other religions, especially children, who are very impressionable and curious about things. Hence the desire to teach their own beliefs in public school without including those of any other religion. How can it possibly be okay to teach the Christian creation theory without also covering that of the Native Americans and the Hindus and Atheists?

Since I haven't read the particular letter JB is refering to I am not going to attempt to argue the whole church vs state issue. I will read it and get back to you. However, for the time being I am going to stick with my understanding that in the Constitution it states that we have a freedom of religion in this country. I do not buy into the Christian religion and I feel that being forced to learn (or teach, for that matter) creationism as the ONLY ALTERNATIVE to evolution is a violation of that right. Sure, present it to me as one of many theories (in a Origin of Life Theories class) and tell me to think about it and decide what works for me, but don't say we need to balance our Science classes and then give me the choice of evolution or creation. (Neither of which has been, or probably ever will be, proven in a way that removes all doubt from my mind.)

Okay...I feel like I am drifting. I have been working on this post for an hour (sad, isn't it?) and I am not saying exactly what I want to say. I will keep trying. Maybe. I much prefer this kind of discussion in person. I am a better talker than writer. Off to dinner with the in-laws. 'Night, all.

OH, OH, OH...and here is something that set me off in a BIG way!!!
(from p A3 of the 8/24/02 edition of The Californian)

"Amid angry debate among parents, Georgia's second-largest school district adopted a policy Thursday night that would require teachers to give a "balanced education" about the origin of life, giving equal weight to evolution and biblical interpretations."

I can't even imagine. What about seperation of church and state? I could get behind this (and most people wouldn't) if it were saying that we had to equally teach all creation stories...almost. I am all for people learning about a multitude of beliefs and developing understanding and acceptance of people who are different. I really liked my classes in college that discussed a variety of religions. But to say that evolution isn't the only option and then only expand it to evolution and Christianity? Give me a break? That isn't acceptable in any way, shape or form. How can they even begin to justify that? Well, here's how...

"Members of the Cobb County Board of Education said they were not restricting the teaching of evolution or encouraging the teaching of creationism, but that the policy was simply a reflection of the distric's philosophy of teaching a wide and objective range of ideas (italics are mine)..."

Wide and Objective. Right.

I just finished reading Fahrenheit 451 for the first time. It has such a strong message, especially in this time of vanishing freedoms and looming wars. There were several passages that spoke to me so strongly that I marked them for later perusal. Here are a few...more to follow, I'm sure.

Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
Upon Escaping the City (p 144)

"He stood breathing, and the more he breathed the land in, the more he was filled up with all the details of the land. He was not empty. There was more than enough here to fill him. There would always be more than enough."

This passage made me think of Acidman, JB, Jake (my neighbor and best friend while growing up), my dad, my father and all the others I know who really appreciate the environment. Not in a tree-hugging, save-the-whales, lobby washington kind of way. In a sleep-under-the-stars, live-off-the-land, appreciate-all-living-things kind of way. I am so glad there are people like that out there and I am greatful that I have had the luck to know so many of them. I am slowly working toward being filled with less materialistic junk and more land, but it is a slow process. Fortunately, there will "always be more than enough" to fill me up...no matter how long it takes me. I hope.

Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
After the Destruction (p 163)

"There was a silly damn bird called the phoenix back before Christ, every few hundred years he built a pyre and burnt himself up. He must have been first cousin to Man. But every time he burnt himself up he sprang out of the ashes, he got himself born all over again. And it looks like we're doing the same thing, over and over, but we've got one damn thing the phoenix never had. We know the damn silly thing we just did. We know all the damn silly things we've done for a thousand years and as long as we know that and always have it around where we can see it, someday we'll stop making the goddamn funeral pyres and jumping in the middle of them. We pick up a few more people that remember every generation."

I have read about the phoenix dozens of times and in dozens of references and this is the first time it struck me that it symbolizes the human race so closely. It seems to obvious now, but I never made the connection. I really like it.

Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
From the Afterward (p 179)
"In sum, do not insult me with the beheadings, finger-choppings or the lung-deflations you plan for my works. I need my head to shake or nod, my hands to wave or make a fist, my lungs to shout or whisper with. I will not go gently onto a shelf, degutted, to become a non-book."

This is a wonderful thing for an author to say, but I think it is also appropriate for all of us these days. We are being beheaded, chopped and deflated with every passing day. We are handing over basic freedoms without a whisper because to abject is to declare yourself unAmerican. We are allowing our government to mistreat and manhandle innocent people because they share skin tone or religion with those we dislike. It is an insult.

She did it again today. I was sitting with Kaitlyn while I read the comics to her (try reading and explaining the comics - even the really simple ones - to a child someday...it's not easy!) and she leans up close to me and says "Sometimes it's good to die." I have to admit that one threw me for a loop. I asked her to explain. She settled in and told me all about how in a certain video game you reached a point where you have accomplished your goal in a particular area and need to go a long way back. The best way to do it was to die and you would come back closer to where you needed to be. Again, she is walking on territory that has been trampled by the feet of a million philosophers without realizing it. I know this is a simple thought for her and has no connection to real life for the moment. I just wonder if it was a passing thought that will never again come to her mind or if this is something that is going to sit in the back of her mind and affect her future thoughts in a subtle way. Fascinating.

y cats are cool. They are both so full of personality.

Huzzah thinks he is in charge and sometimes needs to be reminded that he isn't. He picks on the little one (altho I think often she started it without us noticing) and I need to re-establish myself as The Boss. He likes to be able to do whatever he wants and gets upset with whatever is standing in his way in a 4 year old kind of way. The other day I was blocking him from climbing onto my bedside table and he smacked me with his paw (no claws - just saying "but I wanna!"). He is a habitual overeater and wishes we would let him go outside to establish his dominance over the other males in the neighborhood. Huzzah is quite demanding about his affection as well. He is always climbing onto our laps and patting our faces for attention. He is pretty high maintenence - a cat diva.

Zazzy is the exact opposite. Altho she seems to like us, she is very independent. She is often found curled up in some corner, not at all interested in what the people are doing. The only times she directly initiates communication is when she wants something...food, help onto the highest shelf or someone to play with. She likes to play catch with clear plastic caps off a certain brand of water bottles (only that brand will do) but she doesn't fetch. She also likes to chase bubbles. She thinks she can pop them with her mind by staring at them intensely. She is my kind of cat...sweet, adorable, able to take care of herself!

I adore them both. They are the best kitties in the world and I have them. I am one lucky person!!!

I love to spend time with kids. They have such a fresh outlook on life. Everything is new and unusual and interesting. I really like when they come up with something deep and amazing out of the blue. The other day Kaitlyn, the little girl I am babysitting, stepped on a thistle and got a thorn stuck in her toe. I couldn't get it out and we decided she would have to let it work itself out. Later in the day she was upset because it was still hurting and she looked at me and asked, "Why does God let things hurt?" I was speechless. She had no idea that she was coming up against one of the biggest and most confusing theological questions ever discussed. She just wanted to know why she had a sticker in her big toe. All I could say was "That is a very good question, Kaitlyn and I don't think anyone in the world knows the answer." Kids are the coolest. Totally amazing.

*whiney voice* I'm boooooooooooored.

I have a house full of toys and no motivation to play with any of them. I feel like I am a teenager again! : ) Maybe I'll make Mikey take me for a walk.

Dinner - Aug. 17 2002

Mikey and I have done it again. I don't know why it suprises me so much that we make kick-ass food. We do it consistently! I love it. Very few things in my life make me feel quite as good about myself as pulling off a good meal. I think I feel so good, because being able to cook is something that I respect in others. I love it that I am able to do it to.

Tonight we made tacos. I made the tortillas from scratch (actually very easy, but I made WAY more than we need and it took a long time to roll them out) and Mikey made salsa from our own tomatoes and peppers. He also cooked up a breast of chicken with a delicious mix of spices. I am sorry for the people who are so busy with other things that they don't get a chance to experiment and experience cooking because it is our favorite way to bond (well, almost! *wink, wink*). We love to talk about our day while we cook our evening meal.

I got my pictures from the honeymoon back. How fun. There were tons of them...we took 8 rolls of film. The equivelent of 1 whole roll was bad pics (too blurry, whatever). Now you know why I took so many rolls in the first place! I can't wait to show the pictures to family. Now I am off to make tortillas so we can have tacos for dinner. With fresh homegrown tomatoes and hot peppers. Yum.

A few links to discussions about reparations...i have not read them...i am posting them here so that i will be able to find them and read them when i have time...let me know if you have thoughts...

For
Against

Okay...before I forget what I am thinking about this...

I hate to admit it, but tonight I agreed with Bill O'reilly. GASP. He was interviewing (if that is what you call his pushy manner of carrying on a conversation) a man who was an advocate for reparations. Money for African Americans who are decendants of slaves. Bill said that it would cause a "major backlash" against black americans and was a very bad idea. I have to say that I agree. I find it a disturbing idea that people today seem to think that the only way to get past hurt or unjury or death is to put a monetary value to it. Getting money is nice, but it is not going to change the past. It is not going to suddenly cause all the little black children and little white children around the world to join hands and sing "We are the World". It is going to cause a huge resurgence of the kind of hatred that spawned the KKK. It is going to take us millions of miles away from any kind of peace between races. I can't think of a better way to drive a wedge between people of different colors. And just how do they think they are going to do it? Do you have to have a certain percentage of African blood in you? Do you need to have a certificate that proves that your relatives were slaves? And what about the people that are decended from both sides of this argument? I realize that this is a huge issue and that slavery was a horrible, terrible, wrong thing. It is wrong for any one group to claim superiority over and ownership of another. I also realize that there are many people out there who still chafe at the injustice of it. But this is not the answer.

And while I was typing this idiot was speaking...
Family Research Counsil President, Ken Conner says that we know "from literature and research" that gays and lesbians are dangerous to our children and should not be allowed to mentor them as part of the Big Brother, Big Sister Program. As we all know they are more likely to "abuse or recruit children to their way of life". OMG. I can't even fathom the shriveled up, twisted, ignorant mind that would produce statements like that and think that they are protecting our future. Kudos to the BB,BS program for demanding that all their chapters evaluate their volunteers on personality, character and ability to relate to children rather than their sexual orientation.

I actually have a reason to get up and get dressed today! Gotta go babysit. Motivation is wonderful. Not only did I brush my hair, but I also paid the bills, wrote thank you letters and cleaned the living room. And I got up before 8 this morning. I finally feel like I have recovered from that trip!

Okay. I am going to start really reading some of these informative articles that have everyone on Hooked talking so much. Wanting to be informed and involved is not enough. I have to do something about it. Being disgusted and terrified and confused by everything that I hear about state of the world today is not a valid excuse for avoiding the information. And refusing to listen to the jokers who read the tv news doesn't mean that I can't find a good radio station or look online or read a friggin' book, for crying out loud. When I was a kid I went to rallies and political events and felt like I was doing something. I want that again. I want to be able to tell my students to get out there and make a difference and not be a big, stupid, hypocritical fucktard (to borrow a phrase) while I do it.

I am going to make myself a "smoozy" to have for lunch. Yum. The only question is: milk based or orange juice based? That IS the question.

actually, i didn't have a smoothie at all. i took a nap and had a cheezy hotdog when i could feel my mouth. i managed to eat it without chewing a hole thru my cheek. so talented.

For the sake of us all I will write the rest of my posts as if one side of my face weren't made out of senseless, unfeeling rubber. : )

Last night we put up some of our shelves. We are totally inept at even the most basic of home improvement tasks. Mikey's dad is going to be appalled. But, we have shelves and they are capable of holding things. For now. My dad always made finding studs so easy. A little tap, tap here. A little tap, tap there. Voila! Stud found. Not so. I tapped until my knuckles were swollen and still couldn't find the damn things. We got lucky for a couple of the shelves and managed to screw into something fairly substantial (probably something that shouldn't be screwed into), but for the little ones they are pretty much held up by the sheetrock. Whatever. They are strong enough to hold the little knicknacks I wanted to get off the dresser. Good enough. Aren't you all shocked and horrified by my lazy and sloppy workmanship? You should be!

i done like da dentist. he maksh my moush all numb. i cand feel my tung at all. he wash very gendle and didnd hurt me at all, however. i sink i will keep him. i wish da novacaine would wear off so i could have lunsh, doh. perhapsh i will drink my lunsh doday.

Today I went to Home Depot to get what I needed to make myself some shelves for this house. I am running out of counter space in my kitchen and we want to make a way for the kitties to get to the top of the bookshelves. They like it up there. Anyway, I measured where I wanted them to be and then let go of my pride long enough to ask two high school boys to help me. They must have thought I was a complete dimwit because I had to ask so many questions...what kind of wood?...what kind of screws?...how to I make them stable?...what size bracket should I use?...and so on. They train their kids well at Home Depot, though, neither of them even twitched at my complete lack of knowledge. How greatful I was!! : ) Now I have the wood (cut to my measurements by another polite high school boy), the brackets and the screws. All I have to do is find the studs in various walls and put them up. Yikes. We really love our house and have lots of ideas, but neither of us in any good at home improvement type things. This is my feeble attempt at filling that gap! Wish me luck!

"More than half of teenaged girls who attend family planning clinics say they would stop or delay using certain or all services--including testing and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases--if practitioners were required to inform their parents that they had sought prescription contraceptives, US researchers report. "

DUH. We spend more money researching the stupidest things. *rolling eyes*

Egads. The Mets are 19 games back from 1st place. And they lost to the Padres of all teams. Disappointing. Not a surprise, but still disappointing.

"Yet the US is not experiencing an epidemic of child abduction. Figures released by the FBI indicate that the number of children kidnapped by strangers has been declining. The number of such abductions averaged 200-300 per year in the 1980s; last year they were down to 93. Despite this good news, anxieties about "stranger-danger" continue to thrive. It is no wonder: the cumulative effect of the ceaseless exploitation of the issue of child snatching by the US media is poisoning the relationship between adults and children." (Frank Furedi: Panic over child abduction is the wrong response)


I hate the TV media. Papers and radio and all that are just as bad these days, but they just don't have the same emotional punch that TV has. And they use that punch to hurt us. It is all done in the name of education and information, but that is bullshit. they find a topic that gets people riled up and keeps them glued to their TV and they squeeze every single rating out of it they can get. This summer it is child abductions. Last summer it was shark attacks. There is always something.

Parents aren't completely off the hook with this subject tho. As Joie and I discussed, what are these parents doing instead of watching their child? So many of these cases are obviously related to how closely the adult was watching the child. How responsible they were being. I realize that people make mistakes and I don't think that anyone deserves to have something like this happen, but some people are just asking for trouble. You hear a strange noise in the house and find the door open, but assume that your spouse did it and go back to bed without checking the kids? You go to the park and just let them run off, assuming that your 5 year old will keep an eye on your 3 year old? Come on!!!

Ugh. It is all too disgusting. I am tired. I am probably not making any sense. I apologize.

One of the great joys of life is finding someone who is online and ready to chat at the same time you are!

That apple cobbler that Mikey made was yummy, in case you were wondering. In fact, I am going to go steal a bite right out of the tupperware we are storing it in. Shhh...don't tell Mikey! : )

hehehe. Mikey has a forum over on his business website and there are lots of pre-teen and nearly teen kids who hang out there. They sometimes bug the hell out of us, but I am glad they have a safe place to be. One of the kids is starting 8th grade this fall and asked for advise (there are several teachers or former teachers that post there too). I had fun coming up with these words of wisdom...anything I should add?

Well, my advise would be the same for anyone starting any grade...

1. Pay attention in class. The more you get during school hours, the less you have to do out of school. That may not be a very teacherly thing to say, but I think it's good to know. So many kids hate school because it eats up their fun time. If they used their school time more efficiently, that wouldn't happen. I am not saying that if you pay attention you don't have to do any outside work. I'm just saying it would be significantly less.

2. Do your homework ASAP. There are multiple reasons for this. You get it over with and no one will be bothering you saying "have you done your homework yet??". You do it while the information is good and fresh in your mind. It doesn't pile up. Nothing is more frustrating or harder to overcome than a backlog of homework that you don't really remember in the first place. So keep it current.

3. Make new friends. I am sure that you have lots of friends. But new ones are always good. You find out about new things, learn about people who are different and can nearly always find someone to hang with if you don't limit yourself. I didn't do this in high school, I was too shy and I regret it.

4 Stick by your friends. Basically that means be nice! As a teacher I see so much back stabbing and name calling and rudeness between people who used to be best friends. Have some loyalty. I will qualify that statement though. I am talking about friends who have earned it. People who are mean to you, get you into trouble or are only interested in you when you have some new toy to share are NOT your friends. Find someone else to hang with.

5. Be careful. There are lots of things happening in the world today. It is a scary place sometimes. I know that teens feel invincible, but you aren't. Drugs, alcohol, sex, guns, strangers - they are all even more dangerous if you think they can't hurt you. So be careful. Be smart. You are facing way more issues than even I had to face and it wasn't that long ago that I was in high school myself. You also have access to way more information than I did. Use it and be smart. THINK!

6. Finally, don't lose touch with your parents. I remember thinking that my parents were totally clueless and had no idea what I was going through. I was wrong. Parents remember what being a kid was like and it scares them to have to watch you go through all the same things they did. Be patient with them and remember that all they really want is to make sure you are safe. Let them know who you are hanging with, where you are going, what you are doing. If it is something you can't tell them about, chances are you shouldn't be doing it...think twice before you do something stupid. (See #5)

So...that is my long, long rant. I know you will ignore most of my advise, after all, that is what teenagers do best! I hope some of it means something to you though. I wish you well and I am sure you will have a blast in 8th grade. Keep us posted! : )

Being a kid these days is tough! And being a teenager is a wierd, scary thing. I remember getting very upset, arguing with my dad and feeling like no one in the world had ever been as misunderstood and mistreated as myself! Now I think back and I wonder "what the hell?". Yikes. I wouldn't go back there for anything in the world. I'm just glad I made it out in one peice, which is better than I can say for lots of my friends.

"He was the true man's man. And yet, with his love, he was melted butter. It was something to behold--the transformation that took place in the man around his love. Even moreso, was her response. As he "submitted" to her, she seemed intent on even further "submission.' It was like the most pleasant war you would ever want to see." JB on Hooked on Blogging

This is a very reassuring post to read. Being a newlywed, I am high on love, smitten, twitterpated. However, being the child of a couple of broken marriages, I know how ugly love can get as it fades away. I think that Mikey and I have a relationship like the one mentioned above. We have our own opinions and beliefs and desires, but we rarely fight. We give in to each other, respecting each other and wanting to know more, see more, feel more about the other. When I first met Mikey it was so quiet and peaceful I would wonder "Is this right? This isn't like the loud, firecracker love that I used to know." I used to be in a relationship in which each conversation was a match. You were the winner or the loser. You had to fight to keep your pride intact. Harmony was a rare and strange thing. I am used to it now and I revel in it. There is honesty and because of that occasionally hurt feelings or stepped on toes, but mostly there is respect. And love. I think we are going to do alright.

I had the best lunch ever! I finally broke out of my jet lag and got up off my lazy butt. Mikey and I decided to play around in the kitchen (cooking, just cooking!). He made an apple cobbler sort of thing and I made cream cheese wontons. I mix the cream cheese up with minced bell pepper and onion, add some garlic and wrap it all up. Then deep fry. I also made some sweet ones with cream cheese, apple, cinnamon and sugar. These ones get powdered with cinnamon sugar when they are done frying. It is all quite nutritious, I assure you. We gorged ourselves. It was delicious. I am going to go throw up now.

I have a vague memory of reading about taking a bath on a blog...did this happen or am I making it up? In either case, this is what triggered the memory...

"Americans prefer showers because showering is a kind of job - you stand, you scrub, you shampoo. In comparison, bathing is inactive. You lie in a bathtub, your eyes closed. You accomplish nothing. By the end of a long bath, you're slightly older and slightly cleaner." (from Bathifying by Sparrow, The Sun, Aug 2002)

Mmm mm mm. Smoothies. It is an addiction I think. This morning was strawberry, banana, peach and orange juice. Mmmm.

My cats are mad at me for putting them on a diet. Well, one of them is on a diet. Our big boy is nearly 20 pounds and the vet was not happy with me. He doesn't like being hungry and walks around crying if there is no food in his dish. It is a good thing we don't intend to have children, because we are having a hard time disciplining our cats. We both tend to give into those cries because they make us feel guilty and they are annoying. See? No kids for me. I would ruin them.

I am tired and my head hurts. I have had a tension sitting in my eyebrows causing me agony all day. I dislike it. So I am going to go off to bed and try to get up at a normal hour tomorrow. We'll see. I have thank you letters to write. Ugh.

"Simplicity doesn't mean to live in misery and poverty. You have what you need, and you don't want to have what you don't need." Charan Singh

Sounds so easy, right? Wrong. I wish I could live my life this way. I wish I could be happy with the important things - Mikey, a roof, a little food, something useful to do with myself. But no. I want that cute dress I saw in the catalog and I wish that my bedroom were decorated a little nicer and I find myself longing for that seafood alfredo from the Olive Garden. I don't need these thing. I know I don't. I just want them. And most of the time I don't even feel guilty about it.

One of the few people I have ever heard use the word "kiddo" besides my dad. The Long Haired Country Boy struck a chord with me right off the bat. Check out his site...I like the variety. He thinks it is funny that I called Acidman a marshmallow, but he's got a mushy streak himself, I think.

And speaking of friends...this Gut Rumbler totally reminds me of my folks' friend, Todd. All spit and vinegar on the outside and marshmallow goo on the inside! It's a pleasure to read your blog, Acidman.

Whee! I feel like I am making friends!! I have been invited to join a group blog called Hooked on Blogging. I love reading here because there are actual discussions about interesting and important issues. Of course, that also means that I am in no way qualified to speak there, but I will give it a shot! I just hope that Acidman and JB recognize me for the sensitive sol that I am and don't come down on me TOO hard! Thanks, Joanie, for the invite!

oops! wrote that post yesterday and then didn't publish! hee hee

So much for getting on a schedule. I stayed up til midnight again and then slept until nearly 10:30. ick. that is just awful. I am normally the kind who is in bed by 9:30 or 10 and up by 7:30. I will be glad when the school year starts and I have a job again. I am not a good self motivator. I need a schedule or a boss or something. Otherwise I spend all my time reading, blogging, eating and sleeping. bleh.

Mikey says we have to start working on getting ourselves back on some kind of normal schedule - for California time instead of Hawaii time. So I shall head off to bed and read into the wee hours instead of blogging. To hell with a schedule! : )

Well, I told Joie that I would be chatty in my blog today and then I spent all day melting in the heat instead. Sorry, Joie!

I was mentioning all my new toys earlier. Well, as much as I like the fancy kitchen toys we got, my favorite gift is the CD that my daddy gave me. It is a recording of himself playing guitar and singing several of the songs that he used to play all the time when I was a child. Many of them are songs he wrote himself and my sister and I helped him write one...The Poky Little Puppy. Some of my strongest and fondest memories are of the parties that my parents and their friends would have. 100+ people, lots of potluck food, a few mind altering substances (legal and otherwise), a big bonfire, skiing or naked volleyball depending on the season and at the end, when only the real die-hards are left - a jam session. Everyone would pull out their guitars and dulcimers and drums or whatever they played and the music would begin. I would usually sit next to my mom with my head on her lap and close my eyes, basking in the circle of love that flowed around the bonfire. My dad played lots of old hippy folk songs and lots of anti-nuke stuff. Joni Mitchell, Buffy St. Marie, Beatles, Steve Goodman, so many that I recognize, but don't know the names to...that is the stuff I grew up on. I learned many things at those parties. If you have a talent, share it. Your closest friends are the ones that stick by you no matter how late it gets. When your parents are busy partying, you can get away with just about anything as long as you don't get caught. And that my Daddy overflowed with love for family, friends and all living things.

Listening to my CD today brought all of that back in a rush. My dad and I are in a rocky, difficult place in our relationship right now. He has done a lot of things that I don't respect, but today I remembered many of the things he has done that I DO respect. Today I was reminded of the love that he has inside, whether he knows it or not. Just listening to some old songs rekindled many desires in me...the desire to play guitar...the desire to teach young children that Love is what it is all about...the desire to keep fighting for that relationship with my Daddy that I miss so much. Thank you, Daddy, for once again finding the perfect gift. I love you.

1. Do you have a car? If so, what kind of car is it?
I drive a dark red Ford Escort. It isn't much to look at and it is filthy inside and out, but she hauled all my stuff across the country when I decided to move from Northern MN to Southern CA. Everything I owned was stuffed into a UHaul trailer and the back end of that car and we made it over the mountains without any problems. She's a trooper.
2. Do you drive very often?
I hate to drive so whenever possible I get Mikey to do it. In fact, on our honeymoon he did all the driving because it costs too much to add my baby self (under 25) to the contract. I was in heaven! Usually, I drive every day to and from work, but since none of the schools in this district are more than 20 minutes from my house it's not so bad.
3. What's your dream car?
I have been lusting after a Toyota Tacoma with an extended cab lately. I like driving smallish vehicles, but I also like being above the other drivers (at least the ones in cars...can't compete with those SUV's).
4. Have you ever received a ticket?
When I was 16 I was pulled over for going about 20 over the limit. I was SO scared! And while I was working up the nerve to tell my mom I was stopped in the hall right outside her office and asked in a very loud voice "hey! was that YOU I saw pulled over last night?". I paid the ticket and drove much slower for a long time!
5. Have you ever been in an accident?
Nothing beyond the typical parking lot fender bender or land-you-in-a-snowbank slide, both caused by slippery, ice covered MN roads. My cars tend to have more accidents without me.

OMG it's too hot to live!!! I can't stand it. Of course, it is my own misguided attempts at being cheap and "environmentalist" that prevents me from turning on the air conditioner. We have fans going, but I am pretty certain that one more day like this is all it will take to break my will and turn me into the energy company's bitch. At least in Hawaii it would rain every once in a while!

I had lots of fun shopping for groceries. We had a huge list that was totally justifyable because we had emptied our fridge and cabinets so well before we left. Now I can do lots of cooking...gotta feed my man right, since he is the only one working these days! : ) We are even going to make our own ice cream with our new ice cream maker. Tonight we made smoothies with our new blender. For those of you wondering if it's worth it to make your relationship "legal and binding".....you get some really cool new toys if you do!!! : )

I didn't realize how strongly I had attached myself to the idea of teaching 5th grade at Nicholas Valley until I found out today that all the positions had been filled. I was near tears. I felt betrayed! I have been using all my positive thinking to make that job mine and I felt as though it already was. Not only have I lost the opportunity to teach at that particular school, it was that principal who was supposed to call me in for interviewing. Since that "in" fell through, I am now just another applicant in a pile of 700 others. I am very disappointed and having a hard time visualizing the upcoming year. I don't really want to sub again...it is a big let-down after being so excited about having my own classroom. I really need to shake the feelings of dispair and failure that swamped me this afternoon though. They are not going to help me get a job in any way. I have always felt that visualizing myself in a situation could get me there...the self-fulfilling prophecy sort of thing. I guess one good thing is that I can focus strongly on getting my 30 credits finished now. I was wondering how I was going to do that.

On top of that, my house is a mess! I spent all that time trying to make sure it would be clean when we got home. And it was. Until we unpacked the car and dumped everything all over the bedroom and living room! Ugh. I am such a slob. Also...it is about 800 degrees here. Anyway...I am done whining now. I think I am having a hard time adjusting to real life after so much wonderfulness.

Why is it that people can have so much patience with some and none whatsoever with others? On our return flight I saw several altercations between one of the attendants and an elderly passenger who had obviously lost some of his faculties. In one instance, he tossed his empty cup at her cart as she went past. She stopped, bent over and said "No! We do not throw things! You could have hurt someone." in much the same voice you would use for a three year old. I was okay with this as she was obviously just trying to make it understandable. It was her saying, quite audibly, to the next passenger "That was a new one!" and rolling her eyes that bothered me. And later this same elderly man got lost on his way back from the bathroom. He went down the wrong side of the plane. She explained that he was at the wrong seat and showed him where his seat was. Again, quite appropriate. Until I heard her response to his apology - "I was going to say it would be nice for you to say you were sorry!" in a snippy tone. The whole thing was a little un-nerving to me. I dislike seeing rudeness at all and when it is someone who is unable to help it I dislike it even more. Some people are just not cut out for the kinds of jobs that require human interaction!

So...what have we done? We went to a Luau last night and I ate poi. That is a goopy dip sort of thing that is made of boiled and ground up Taro root. It used to be a staple for the natives. It has very little taste and the consistence of very thin gruel. It was not yummy. There were hula dancers and a fire dancer. It was something else!

We went to the Kilauea lighthouse and saw lots of birds and panoramic views which promply killed my camera and ruined a whole roll of brand new film. I replaced the battery, but didn't get any of the amazing shots I wanted. Stupid technology.

We tried to snorkle again, but the choppy waters made everything very murky. We did get to see a family of angelfish-type fish. There were a couple big ones (about the size of a half-dollar) and a whole bunch of little ones (about the size of a penny). I was not comfy with the amount of pushing the waves were doing and I didn't like not being able to see more than a couple feet in front of me...I am a big pansy and there are scary things that live in the ocean!

All in all, we have had a blast here! We have done just about everything I wanted to do (I would love to go kayaking and take a helicopter tour, but we need to be much wealthier for those adventures!) and I have enjoyed every minute of it. Now we are ready to head home and see our beloved kitties. They have been alone for 12 days and we need to give them some lovin! We are both ready to get back to work too. Hopefully, there will be a message on our answering machine saying that they want to interview me for that 5th grade position at NVES and they will hold it until I call them back! : )

Hey! Remember that 48 hour game contest Mikey was in? I can now brag up my new hubby because he placed in all the categories.

Overall - FIRST
Gameplay - Third
Fun - Third
Sound - FIRST
Technical - Third
Graphics - FIRST
Completeness - FIRST

Hooray, Mikey!!! Go check out Scarecrow: Heart of Straw. It's free!

It seems that we are destined to have semi cloudy days for the rest of our trip. I don't mind the clouds so much, they make my sunscreen even more effective, but the water has been choppy. It's like snorkling in fog! Don't I just have a troubled life? : )

Yesterday was a quiet, hang-out-by-the-pool, read, catch-a-movie kind of day. We saw Austin Powers: Goldmember and then grilled ourselves some porkchops that were very yummy! It sprinkled on and off all day and then as we were walking home from the movie it suddenly poured! It stopped long enough for us to cook our dinner on one of the communal grills and then it poured again!

This morning was grey and somber. We drove a little to the south to find a man made cove for snorkling. There were TONS of fish! A school of big, blue and yellow butterfly fish swam past us several times and at one point we were surrounded with a hundred or so fish of different variety. It was amazing! Snorkling is my kind of sport. You can be active and swim around looking into all the nooks and crannies or you can just lie there and float, watching things swim past you while the waves rock you gently. It is so quiet too! The only things I could hear were my own breathing (sounding like Darth Vader!) and the waves crashing on the rocks in the distance. Sometimes I could hear bubbles. Very peaceful. Quite a contrast to what we were hearing with our heads above water. There were some teenaged girls that were screaming and grabbing the nearest person every time they saw something move. The kind of person who should just stay in the hotel pool! I just stuck my head underwater and kicked in the other direction.

I am stiff this morning from all the hiking. Good things we have massages planned! : )

How is it that the water here is so much more beautiful than anywhere else? This is the same ocean we see off the Cali shores, but it is not so green and charming there, somehow.

Today was overcast and it sprinkled a bit now and then. We were on a hike inland to a waterfall and enjoyed the feel of the rain on our overheated bodies. I got to stand right under a waterfall and feel it beat down on me. Cleansing. This whole island is so spiritual. It is so easy to live in the now when the now is so beautiful. Now to stock up on the serenity that I feel here and keep it to bring it out during those Temecula traffic jams.

I ate the most delicious seafood linguine today...multi-colored noodles slathered with a rich cream and garlic sauce surrounded by shrimp, scallops, mussels and fish. Yum. I am tired from the hike and stuffed from the dinner and pretty much as happy as a clam at high tide. Aaahhhh.

I stand on the lanai looking out as far as I can see. The pale blue of the sky and the indigo of the water make a crisp line. I can't help but compare it to my recent marriage. It stretches out in front of me, long and beautiful and a bit overwhelming. At the moment, the surface of the water is calm and the sky above is filled with fluffy, harmless clouds. But I know that it is not always that way, the water will become choppy, the sky will darken and the wind will blow cool and sharp. Altho these days make me want to climb into bed and pull up the covers, I know that they eventually end. I am greatful for them because they give me a new appreciation for the calm and beauty of the ocean between storms. I stand on the lanai today and imagine the storm, rejoicing that the sun is out and the sea is peaceful.

I finished reading blogs and went outside to the lanai (patio) to watch the waves and damned if I didn't get poetic! I have always had a facination with the white spray that comes of waves - Pacific, Atlantic, Lake Superior - it doesn't matter where...it is just beautiful to me. All motion and excitement and random, but smooth and constant and soothing at the same time. I love it.

I am totally infatuated with this island. We chose Kaua'i over the other islands so that we could get away from some of the crowds and touristy things (Hard Rock Cafe and the like) and see some of the really special things. We have thought about living here for some time now and being here is just making me more interested in that. I love the mountains and the ocean and the green and the little lizards and the adorable little shacks that serve up the best fish burgers and the winding roads. Being here really has an effect on me...even clock driven, ultra organized me...there is no need to hurry because nothing is all that far away and it will all still be there when you finally show up. We drove around for 20 minutes trying to find a parking spot at the snorkling beach we finally chose. This would normally have be climbing the walls, but it didn't matter. I was greatful for the chance to go past the beautiful scenery we saw the first time around! I wish we were going to be here for a longer time so that we would have time to really explore the inner island...the hidden streams and secrets. We looked at some real estate pamphlets while we were driving. $500,000 would get us a bunch of land and a huge house on the coast. And all we want is a cozy little place and the sound of the surf. I'm gonna start saving as soon as I get home! : )

We have been on Kaua'i for 3 days now and we LOVE it! Today has been the best. We got our fancy new room (due to some mix-up we were downgraded for two nights, so they upgraded us to an OCEANVIEW room for the rest of the stay) and we rented snorkle gear and we drove all along the north shore and found some cute little snorkle beaches. The parking was awful, but we saw wonderful little fishes! Mikey really likes the needlefish. I am searching for a humuhumunukunuku apu a'a (the Hawaiian state fish) and some sea turtles. The guy at Snorkle Bob's (the rental place) was really friendly and told us where to find the best fish and get away from the big crowds. Mikey's mask was leaking, but we both had a blast. I think that is what we will spend the majority of our time doing.

Yesterday we hung around the hotel and the shopping center. We are still on CA time so we are getting up really early and getting tired really early! We enjoyed the pool and did some grocery shopping. We were both excited to see that they have an abundance of Japanese cooking and snacking foods as well as lots of organic, scoop-your-own dry goods sorts of things right in the regular grocery store. Those are things we normally have to search out! We got to see a hula show at the place we went for dinner.

Our original room left something (or many things) to be desired...no clock, no glasses, not enough towels, etc...but our new room is like an apartment! We could be perfectly comfy living here...in fact, I think it is about the size of our first apartment! My favorite thing about it is the sound of the waves coming through the open door. The first thing we did was shut off the air and open the sliding door. I am very happy here!

Joie - Write me and tell me how things are going! I miss you!

Ryan and Amber - thanks for your wedding wishes. feel free to stop in and read about my going-ons, but i warn you...it's nothing interesting! i have read quite a bit of your baby journal and it sounds like you are really enjoying parenthood. thanks again for stopping by!

Acidman - altho i am a little preoccupied lately (the surf calls to me), I really enjoy your site. i don't, however, enjoy sand in the suit!

Mikey and Solee Tie The Knot
-a wedding story
Once upon a time there was a fair young princess who was in love with a handsome prince...okay, so I am not going to be THAT hokey. But this will be pretty sappy, so some of you may want to avert your eyes.

The real wedding events started on Saturday. Mom, Louise (family friend), Grandma, Amy (cousin), Shanta (sister) Sue (sister-in-law) and Verena (mother-in-law) gathered together at about 11 and started cooking. By the time I got there at about noon-thirty, after doing our final packing and house cleaning, they had a potato salad, an italian pasta salad, a coleslaw and two cheesecakes made. They had also prepared a marinade for the meats. They were amazing! We sampled the potato salad (like I always do!) and it was, of course, perfect. Verena stuffed her fridge to the gills and even sent the cheesecakes to stay in a friend's fridge! We ate tri-tip sandwiches (Verena smoked the meat in her smoker that morning...isn't she AMAZING?!) for lunch before rushing off to have manicures and pedicures. While the girls were doing that, Mikey drove down to San D to pick up photographer and childhood buddy, Brian. They also picked up Round Table Pizza for dinner. After dinner, Brian came up to stay with us in Temecula. I wish we could have stayed up late talking with him...but we were all too tired.

Sunday morning started early. We again gathered at Mike's folks' place. After a nice little chat and some breakfast I dragged my family and photographer to Lake Poway for...you guessed it, pictures. We took about a trillion photos and everyone was very nice about it. I can't wait to see them! We returned to the Hommels' and chatted some more with newly arriving guests. Mikey and I opened our gifts and were completely overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends. We have more kitchen gadgets than you can shake a stick at! We finished just in time to dash over to Peking House for our pre-wedding luncheon. I was a little worried about how everyone would react to the quaint little Chinese place we like so much. It was a BIG hit!! The food was fabulous, there were balloons and streamers up and a funny little man was playing a keyboard for entertainment. Mai totally outdid herself. She even gave me a gift of a purse and some "lucky money" to put in it. I am SO glad that we decided to go there. Everyone seemed to have a good time talking and eating. After we had stuffed ourselves to the gills I gave a house tour to those in the family who hadn't seen it yet. They all oohed and ahhed and generally made me very proud of our little home. Then it was back down to San D to check into our hotel room, have a very nice walk with Dad and fall into bed. I was exhausted!

I was hoping to sleep in Monday morning, but I was up around 6:30. Mikey and I hung out in the room for awhile having some alone time (not easy to come by with so much family around!) and then went down to talk with Grandma and have breakfast. Pretty soon Amy and Mom and the kiddos were up and we started doing our final preperations. Amy did a fabu job making adorable flower arrangements out of Gerbera Daisies. She made four sets for the tables and then a bouquet for me to carry. We also pulled the petals off the remaining flowers for Alexa (niece and flowergirl) to carry in her basket. We decided to let Devon (nephew) walk with Alexa and carry a little teddy bear. He REALLY wanted a job! Mikey, Kathy (step-mother and officiant) and I went to CostCo to get drinks and bread and other last minute things. Mom and Thom (father) went to the grocery store to pick up the meat, chicken and fish along with some other last minute things. I showed up late to the park to meet the Party Rental people, but they were really nice about it. They dropped off all the tables and chairs and dinner stuff. We all got lectured by an overdiligent park ranger who was upset with us for driving on the lawn! Kathy, Mikey and I did a quick run through of how the ceremony was going to go. As things were set up and arranged, I went back to the hotel and soaked in the hot tub for about 15 minutes by myself. I then showered, got a lovely back massage from Amy and got dressed. By 4 we were up on the hill finalizing set-up, greeting guests and taking a few pics. At 5 Kathy invited everyone to sit down and the ceremony started.

I walked myself up the aisle with Alexa and Devon leading the way. They did a great job tossing petals and being cute and distracting me from all the people looking at me. Mikey took my arm and we went to stand in front of Kathy. She gave a wonderful little blessing and read 1st Corinthians 13. Sue (Mikey's sister) read a passage from a Dean Koontz book that I came across one time and really felt was appropriate - all about love being strong but fragile and how it is sometimes heavy, but worth it all in the end. We invited the parents to come up and give a blessing or hugs or whatever they felt appropriate. Then Mikey and I exchanged our vows and our rings. Kathy gave short prayer and we shared a moment of silence. We were then introduced as Mike and Solee Hommel!!! By the end, I had been smiling so long and so hard that my cheeks hurt and Mikey was in tears. He told me, "This is the best thing I have ever done." As we got hugs and wonderful words from our guests Mom and Verena and Louise started the dinner grilling. We set out all the salads and the bread. As dinner cooked we all talked and mingled. Then we stuffed ourselves like pigs for the second day in a row! Dessert was cheesecake with berries on top and two delicious berry pies. Everyone raved! As dark fell, Brian took some really great pictures of us. By 8:30 we were finished with dinner. Everyone helped clean up and after the rental guy came to pick things up we all soaked in the hot tub. It was a perfect day! I can't think of a single thing that I would change. Everything was so meaningful and wonderful and... well... just plain perfect.

Tuesday morning we got up, packed, said our last goodbyes and headed to the airport. Our flight left San D at 9:30 and went very well. Calm and uneventful, which is just how I like my flights. We waited in the Honalulu airport for about an hour and had another easy flight to Kauai. And so began our Honeymoon. But that is another story...

I spent a wonderful two days with my mom and sibs. We lounged around the pool and generally relaxed the way one does when one is on vacation! We had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, which is a wonderful, fun little place to get YUMMY seafood! Delicious! My grandma B came in yesterday and my father, step-mother and grandma H came in today. Todd and Louise and Arthur (very close family friends) also came today, altho it was just as I was leaving so I didn't get a chance to talk to them much. Tomorrow we are going to Mikey's parents' house to cook food for the big day. We are also going to swim in the pool and maybe go get our nails done! How exciting!! Mikey is feeling sick tonight. I hope it isn't anything awful. : ( I feel so bad for him when he is sick. Off to bed with me now. I spent too much time in the sun and burned. It always makes me feel so sleepy to spend a day lying in the sun! : )

My fridge is sparkling. I love it.

I am heading down to Mission Bay today. I am gonna room with my brothers tonight and be there to greet family and friends as they arrive. Hooray! Hooray!

YAY!!!! Amy is coming to the wedding!!! She has her ticket and everything!!! HOORAY!

And Amy - I apologize for being so distracted on the phone. I am just flakey these days. Do forgive me! We will talk when you get here! Love you!

So, just to show you absolutely, disgustingly organized I am I will tell you what I am doing this morning before work. I am going to finish addressing and sealing the announcements that are to be mailed to the rest of the family after the deed is done. Then I am going to finish getting thank you card addressed and ready to be written and mailed ASAP. I know, I know. It is a little anal. But I figure if I'm not anal about it, I will forget it completely and never send them. I don't want to be like those people who write to Dear Abby asking if it is too late to send thank you cards 6 years after the wedding. So here I go. I am also going to spoil the kiddos rotten today by taking them to the pool and out for lunch. I might even let them each pick a friend to go with us. Way less stressful than trying to entertain them at home. They have reached that point that all kids reach during the summer. They are bored with their toys, they are fighting with their friends on the block and they are really ready for school to start again!

I'm a little wired up. Not by the wedding so much as having family here and soon to arrive. I am super excited about it and it is upsetting my tummy and making it hard to sleep at night. The poor kids I babysit for still have one more day of Psycho Solee to deal with. I am going to take them out for ice cream to make up for it! : ) I have been doing nothing but babysitting, sleeping and reading for the last two days. Boring. Sorry.

One week from now I will be going to sleep as a married woman! Hee hee.

Hee hee! There is a comic strip that I really enjoy called "9 Chickweed Lane". One of the main characters is a siamese cat named Solange. Today's strip seemed aptly appropriate considering the blur of activity I have been in lately...

Check it out at comics.com

*Oh. this link will probably only work today. it will update to tomorrow's strip tomorrow i think. so check it out soon! or go to the one for today (7-20-02).

Hooray! My mom, sister, brothers, niece and nephew are all here to visit! I haven't seen them in quite a while. I enjoy it when they are here. Everyone is really tired today because they were up all night traveling. They got here and everyone crashed. In a little while we will be heading to the hotel (what? you thought maybe they all stayed with US? I may be a little crazy, but I'm not INSANE!!!) and we will swim and whatnot. Mikey and I took the little ones to the park for awhile. We played "Giant". That is a game where I stand up and growl and try to catch Devon and he laughs and runs away. He loved it! I loved it. I have missed him a bunch!

Today we got our haircut, vacuumed, and cleaned the kitty litter area all up. Our big list is just about gone! : )

Only 10 days left!

So...what is the update? Well, I have been cleaning and making piles and lists of things to remember. I have things set aside to pack and things set aside to bring to the park on the wedding day and things set aside to clean later! I have a list of what lists I need to make! (no, really, I do!) I have my announcements all addressed and stamped and ready to go. I have my thank you cards addressed (the ones who come automatically get a thank you!) and stamped. I have my vows written and my kitty instructions for the cat-sitter. I have decided on an outfit for Mikey and what shoes we will be wearing. I have finalized the rental things and arranged to get enough flowers to fulfill my needs. I have gone over the ceremony with Kathy and made my little calendar book and read the PREPARE (counseling thingy) results and played with my kitty. I also mowed the lawn and washed the car. Mikey set up the sprinkler system to water our garden while we are away and we received our tickets and things for the honeymoon. I still have to actually pack and vacuum and wash the laundry and the bed sheets. We need to get our haircuts and find vases that are allowed at the park (no glass) and practice my vows. My mom and sibs are coming tomorrow and the rest of the guests flood in next Friday. There are other things too, but I can't think of them right now. I have been a busy girl! And this is for a SIMPLE wedding. No wonder women go crazy before their weddings! Too damn much to think about!! But I am having fun. And Mikey and I are really excited.

Only 11 days left. Alright!!!

I have a feeling I am going to be really bad about posting for then next few weeks. My family starts arriving tomorrow and I just won't be spending much time online. I will try to keep you posted on what is happening, though! You will get all the details eventually! Thanks for all the support you have given me! You know who you are! Love ya!

So here it is...the moment we have all been waiting for...the moment I find out exactly what kind of vegetable I really am inside...

TA DA!



I'm a carrot! Loved by young children everywhere who are forced to eat their vegetables ~.^ I'm very open to anything that might oppose my general beliefs. I love to help and be helpful in anyway I can, I'm such a great vegetable!

Take the Vegetable Quiz by Krysten!

Okay...So Mikey's 48 Hour Contest submission "Scarecrow: Heart of Straw" is completed and ready for you to play! If you do play we would love to hear how it ran for you and what kinds of computer you were using. This is kind of a research for what direction we will take game development here at Hamumu Software. So pass it around! Play it. It's fun! Go here to get it.

Hamumu Software - FREE Gamelets Page

Or you can go to the website of the guy who hosted the contest LudumDare. He's pretty awesome. There are lots of other games that were submitted and some of them are even good! Be forewarned that all these games were done in only 48 hours so there is no guarantee of quality. In fact some of them wouldn't run for us at all. And others are written for platforms that many people don't have. (Mac or what have you)
Scarecrow: Heart of Straw by Mikey is the one under the name "Jamul". In my completely unbiased opinion it is the best. Others that are worth playing...
Flame Game by bluscreen is very challenging...
Orbital Sniper by Sol HSA was fun. Sniper games are the best.
Cthulu by sinsolent is a very high quality puzzle game. It is one of the best. (WARNING - graphic violence) Written by the only woman to enter the contest! You go, girl!
Guardian Angel by Codexus is quite funny if you are in a mood that enjoys kicking dogs and knocking kids off skateboards. You're doing it for a good cause tho!
Some of the other games have little bugs that crash your computer and make you reboot, but these ones should be safe. Anyway, go here to see them all...

LudumDare Contest Entries

I am having the worst stomach ache today. Ugh. All crampy and painful. To the point of having to remind myself to breath! I hate it. Oww. Oww. Oww.

ONLY 13 DAYS LEFT! WOOHOO!!

I haven't talked to Joie in a million years! If you are reading this...I hope you are feeling better and I am looking forward to chatting with you again soon! I miss you!

from the Topics Blog...What do you do when you're tired, but can't sleep? Do you lie in bed hoping to fall asleep or do you get up and do something?

I HATE not being able to fall asleep. It doesn't happen to me very often, but when it does it is usually when I have something important to get up for in the morning! Anyway, I usually lie there for at least an hour hoping that if I am still enough and keep my eyes closed long enough I will fall asleep. If that doesn't work then I get up and go online, watch tv or read. Each of these things distracts me from whatever is keeping me awake and allows me to eventually go back to bed and fall asleep. Unfortunately, my problem is rarely not being able to fall asleep. More often I wake up a gazillion times during the night. I am sleeping and I wake up enough to roll over, fix the blankets and/or pillows as needed and check the clock. Doesn't sound like much, but when you do it every hour it really disrupts your sleep. I haven't figured out a way to stop this from happening, but I have learned that it is not a good idea to look at the clock. I avoid it whenever possible. That way I don't stay awake thinking about how few hours or minutes I have left! I am a glutton for sleep!

I sure hope no one has been trying to call me today. My Mikey is participating in a 48 hour gaming contest and has had the phone lines filled up. He has been hanging out in the chat room while he codes. His game is coming along well and should blow away the competition! It is a very informal little contest with no real prize other than the adoration and respect of all the other contestants. The last one was a 24 hour contest and Mikey's game won 2 categories...sound and code. His game was also one of the favorites. I might be a little biased, but I am always amazed at the fabulous, professional work Mikey puts out in such a short time. His games not only are playable and interesting, they have adorable graphics, great sound, a plot, and neat little extras (menus and title screens and credits and whatnot). And he is so organized with his coding. It is very impressive. He is very talented! He's my Mikey! You will have to check out the latest contest entry when it is all done. I will let you know how to get it. Then you can all be amazed at the super game he wrote all by himself in 48 hours! : )

So. It is 88 degrees in the shade here. I'm hot.

Today I have been Accomplishing Things. Yes, it is so important that it needs capital letters! I have been feeling disgusted at the state of my house lately and particularly worrying about how I am going to feel coming home from my wonderful honeymoon to this STY. So I decided that a deep cleaning was needed. So far I have re-organized all my closets (my walk-in with all my clothes and teaching supplies was the worst), done all the laundry, straightened the office and super cleaned the spare room. I changed the sheets on every bed in the house and went thru all my linens, bagging the ones I don't ever use for a local charity. I also watered my garden and semi-cleaned the rest of the house. I will be deep cleaning the rooms that are used more often a little closer to the day we leave. Doing it now would be a waste of time! This evening I plan to file all the paperwork that has been piling up for months. I am exhausted and sweaty but I am also intensely satisfied. Some people go in for deep tissue massages. I do deep cleaning. What ever makes your socks go up and down (this is something my sister says - isn't it sillly?).

this blog can be quite irritating. it has been chosing to be difficult the last few days.

1. Do you live in a house, an apartment or a condo?
We have a fabulous little house with a green and shady backyard, a side garden, a little raised patio, a tiny kitchen, a garage and a little front porch. It is perfect for us.
2. Do you rent or own?
We are the proud owners of our little plot of grass. We bought it back in October and it was one of the best decisions of my life. So much better than renting and with CA prices, not that much more expensive.
3. Does anyone else live with you?
My soon-to-be hubby, our kitties - Huzzah and Pizzazz, and a whole bunch of uninvited ants. They will be leaving soon!
4. How many times have you moved in your life?
Let's see...wow. 14 times. That is a lot more than I was expecting. 10 of those times are within the last 6 years. College is a hard time to settle down!
5. What are your plans for this weekend?
My better half is busy with a 48 hour game development contest, so I will spend my time cheering him on, reading and getting the house ready for the upcoming wedding and honeymoon trip. Lots to do in the next 16 days.

Everyone send lots of healing thoughts to Mankato, MN. My cousin is sick and we need her better soon! She is supposed to be coming out to my wedding! So come on - help! : ) Thanks!

I had the most HORRIBLE dream last night. I was fighting with someone I love very much. In the heat of the battle this person (who was NOT in a sound state of mind) pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot me. At first I trembled and screamed and begged for this person not to shoot me. Then I realized that I wasn't really all that scared. I stood up, threw my hands into the air and shouted, "If this is what it takes for you to come to your senses and see how crazy you have become, then go ahead. Shoot me!" I woke myself up because my real self was trying to shout these same words in support of my dream self. Then I was upset with Mikey because he didn't know I was having a bad dream and wake me out of it. Poor Mikey! Turns out he was having a bad dream too. The heat the last few nights has really been playing havoc with our sleep!

My cats have discovered a new favorite toy. They LOVE bubbles. They are fascinated by the way they float and land and then *pop* just as you get near. Zazzy is especially interested. As we are brushing our teeth she sits and cries at us until we get out the bubbles for a pre-bedtime spree. It has become a new tradition for our evenings. And it is REALLY cute! Someday I will figure out how to do pictures on here and I will show you how adorable it is!

Our dinner tonight had many homegrown components...our green peppers went into the saute, my tomatoes went on my salad, and best of all...two ears of FABULOUS corn on the cob. It was so good. Very sweet! I am sad that there are only 3 more ears on the plants. Next year we are planting way more corn!! There is nothing quite as tasty as something you raised from a seed!

I spent the day with Kaitlyn and Allystar, my two babysitting charges. It is interesting to see the gaping difference between the ages of 6 and 12. Kaitlyn is still spending her time coloring pictures and watching Nick Toons and chatting with me (any new adult is a great person to talk to!). While outside with the neighborhood kids she made a "nature collection" consisting of rocks and sticks and small bugs and leaves in a plastic bag. She was totally into it. Allyster, as part of the pre-teen population of the block, was much more interested in the other kids, especially the girls. There are about 6 pre-teens that get together and flirt with each other. It took me awhile to realize that is what they were doing. Because to me it looked like they were throwing twigs in each other's hair, chasing each other, shouting insults and generally doing things that made me want to say "knock it off". But I didn't because I didn't want to disrupt the delicate learning process! They are so funny at that age. And scary because I know it is just a little while until they pass out of that innocent stage into something much more exciting and much more dangerous!

Are you a romantic or mushy person? What kinds of things do you do, expect, or like? What is the most romantic experience of your life thus far? Also from the Topics Blog

I am a HUGE romantic. I am into fate and destiny and sappy songs and holding hands and snuggling and surprise gifts and gushing on and on about how fabulous my Mikey is. I am a romance junkie! What do I do? I try to notice and comment on the things my love does, whether it is amazing or average. I make little "hello" phone calls from work. I make cards or write letters for no reason. What do I expect? I look for kind words, little surprises, and the occasional washed dish. I like snuzzles (like a snuggle, only with more zing!) I really like secret notes that I find hidden away somewhere for some future day.

My most romantic experience? I think that would have to be my first "date" with Mikey. It happened toward the end of my first face to face visit with him. (We met online, for those who are confused at this point. I flew out to meet him for a week over my spring break a couple of years ago.) We spent most of the week just hanging out together, but on one of the last days we drove to the shore. We walked along the beach and ate ice cream. We drove around touring the beachfront towns. Then we went to an old, wooden roller coaster and rode once. (This was a big deal because it is something we both love but don't do very often.) It cost a bunch and lasted about 7 seconds, but it was a blast. Then we went to an oriental restaurant where Mikey impressed the waiter by pronouncing the names of the dishes correctly. The whole day was filled with laughter and talk and it ended on the beach watching the sun go down. Mikey snuggled me up in his jacket cause I was chilly. It was a wonderful day.
We have had lots of great days together since then, but that one sticks out. Probably because it was the first. (I also like the day we went to Magic Mountain and Mikey was brave and rode a ride he didn't want to because I wanted him to go with me.)

Do you keep up with world events? Why or why not? from the Topic Blog

I read headlines in the paper. Occasionally, I read the first paragraph of the article. I rarely, if ever, read the whole thing. Why? Because so much of what is "news" today is made up of things I don't need to know. And what I DO need to know is SO big and scary and overwhelming that I can't deal with it. I am afraid that I am a typical American. I have lots of opinions, but none of the time, brainstrength or interest for them to be INFORMED opinions. So, if someone mentions something that is in the news I usually have a vague idea what they are talking about. I rarely have many details tho.

I aplogize to anyone who stops by here lately hoping for a new post or interesting thoughts. I am just not thinking interesting things these days. It is all boring and mundane and routine. I wish it weren't. Sorry.

HOT. it's so HOT. my knees are sweating. wow.

This is from the Alt. Friday Five...I know, I know...I'm late! So sue me!

1. Do you enjoy eating? Why or why not?
Eating is one of my favorite things. I associate it with my mother's cooking, sitting at the dining room table with my family having a lively (often heated) discussion, and celebrations.
2. What are your favorite foods? Why? Are certain feelings or situations associated with the food(s)?
There are so many foods I like! My very favorites include Shrimp Scampi, Potato Salad (my mom's, of course), bread - French, potato and Herb and Olive Oil in particular, grilled salmon, and...raspberries with vanilla ice cream. I associate carrot cake with my birthday because that is what my mom often made (at my request). Macaroni and cheese, rice-a-roni and baked beans or canned corn are comfort foods. I like to eat them all together and carbo load! Frozen dinners, usually Budget Gourmet, mean that I was too lazy to put together a decent meal.
3. What are your least enjoyable foods? Why? Are certain feelings or situations associated with the food(s)?
There are very few things I won't eat. I'm not crazy about yams or sweet potatoes but I will eat them occasionally. I don't like the way peach fuzz sticks to my tongue. I absolutely won't eat an egg unless it is completely fried or scrambled. My mom and my Mikey are the only two people I trust to cook me an egg! Actually, I have a big texture thing. I can't eat anything that has a snotty texture - oysters, eggs with runny yolks, bread pudding. My gag reflex kicks in!
4. What are your comfort foods, the kind that satisify you emotionally when you're stressed? Why?
Like I said above - mac and cheese, rice-a-roni, corn. Also frozen peas, mashed potatoes, pasta. I am a huge fan of carbohydrates! And chicken paprikash with dumplings, because if I am having that I am at home with mom!
5. What food decisions have you made in your life and why did you make them? For example, if you're a vegetarian, how did you decide to make this change in your life?
About 6 months back, I started counting my calories. I was trying to lose weight for my wedding and my health and I set a limit of 1200 calories. That is really not much, but after a couple days of feeling hungry I realized that it was enough to just about satisfy me. After I lost the 25 lbs I was trying to lose, I raised the limit to 1500 and eventually stopped keeping a written record. But it has made me much more conscious of what I am putting in my mouth and why. I realized that most of my eating was triggered my boredom or stress. I still allow myself the occasional pity party with a bag of chips but it is much more controlled. Also, I was raised in a half vegetarian household (dad was, mom wasn't) and as a result I was exposed to lots more vegetables and vegetarian dishes than most kids. I still eat lots of veggies and actually crave them if I haven't eaten enough. Meat is more of a side dish at my house.

"Does it bother you now - the mess I've made?
Does it bother you now - the clothes you told me not to wear?
Does it bother you now - all the angry words you said?
Does it bother you now that I'm not there?"

Dido

Hee hee! Mikey is making me a game! I love it when he does that! He knows that I really like playing breakout, so he is making me a game of similar style. But I get to decide about how it looks and stuff. : ) It is fun to watch it go from nothing to a playable game. I really like watching him code. (Sometimes it gets boring but I enjoy seeing how one little change in the code can make a huge change in the finished product.) I am off to support and supervise. I will share my game with you all when it gets finished!

So...we went to Mikey's aunt and uncle's house yesterday and stayed the night. They are fun, but exhausting. They try so hard to please...feeding and giving and all that...it is hard to know when to take and when to say "no thank you" and when they are serious and when they are offering because they think you want something. I can't compliment anything in that house for fear that Kakey will give it to me! It is tiring! We had lots of fun tho. Kakey made a yummy lunch and we saw Men In Black 2. Pizza for dinner. Then we got up and had homemade strawberry jam on toast before going to the beach and an art fair. Then they took us out to lunch. When we got there Kakey had a pile of things for us...a little indoor grill, some oven mitts, 2 bags of Doritos, a lemon squeezer, a chinese checkers game...see what I mean...anything and everything. And this is AFTER giving us a brand new garage door for a wedding present. I am overwhelmed by them. They are very sweet.

tumbleweed are drifting past as the eery ghost town music plays in the background. the sign over the saloon swings in the breeze and a mangy dog sniffs his way past the empty jail.

I have become a fan of Linkin Park. I like the sound of it and they have meaningful, if angst filled, lyrics. I think I would have really enjoyed them as a teenager! I was into angst filled music then. These days I relate more to the cheerful, romantic stuff (like Dido) but I am still drawn to Mikey's Linkin Park cd from time to time. I mean...just listen...

"i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
i had to fall
and lose it all
but in the end
it doesn't even matter"
- In The End

or this...
"do i trust some
and get fooled by phoniness,
or do i trust nobody
and live in loneliness?
because i can't hold on
when i'm streched so thin
i make the right moves
but i'm lost within"
- By Myself

I think it is important as a teen to feel that there are others out there who are feeling as badly or worse than you are. I know that I was often wrapped up in self-pity but listening to Allanis or one of my other "angry" cd's would somehow make me feel better. To be able to sing those lyrics and listen to that powerful beat (the Crow soundtrack was great for that!) was a wonderful outlet for me. I remember blasting my stereo and throwing my stuffed animals against the wall as hard as I could (don't worry, they volunteered for the mission) and feeling so much better afterwards! I am so glad I'm not 17 anymore! I just laugh when people say that "those are the best years of your life". And I tell my students (if they are old enough to be hearing it) that those are NOT the best years...that it gets SO MUCH BETTER. Imagine never being any happier than you are as a scared, confused, hormone-ridden teen with no control over your own life. Ugh. Don't ever tell your kids that it doesn't get better than that!

Okay...enough ranting. My house smells delicious! Naan with sweet onion on top is baking in the oven. Lovely!

My fourth of July celebration has been mostly garden related. I spent much of the morning making water rings for my lovely plants. We are adding to our sprinkler system so they won't be completely neglected while we are gone on our honeymoon. Angie is coming over to feed the kitties, but I don't want her to have to spend the time it takes to water everything. Unfortunately, we bought the wrong size of some little piece so we have to go back and get the right size. All the improvements we do around here are so haphazard! Neither of us knows much about fixing things. We always manage, but it takes several tries. Thank goodness for Home Depot and their wonderful return policy! : )

We are cooking today. I have made Strawberry Shortcake (cheap berries at the store yesterday) and Mikey is making an Curry based chicken. We are also making Naan bread. It is so fun to putz around in the kitchen together. I can't wait for dinner!

So - at the risk of starting a fight - what do y'all think about the brouhaha over the "Pledge"?? Do you think the words "under God" are offensive? Unconstitutional? Traditional? Important? What do you think about the pledge in general? Why? If you dislike it - what would you prefer? Come on...let's talk!!!

My Opinion

I have never liked the idea of teaching our children to spout of this jumble of words that makes no sense to them. I mean, kindergartners can't even begin to understand the concepts behind this recital and often don't even know what the words really are. It is educational brainwashing at its best. Don't get me wrong, I am proud to be American and part of the democratic process. As a letter to the editor in my paper this morning said - it isn't perfect, but it is better than the alternatives. I also think that children do need to be taught to respect our country. After all, if you don't respect it why would you bother to keep it clean or vote or care about the people? So I think respect is important. However, I think it is important to respect people while you are teaching respect! Including the word "God" instantly makes many people uncomfortable. Yes, it is a small fraction of students in a class. Yes, they can just not say the pledge. Yes, this has become a traditional part of the school day. Yes, we could just let it go. But that is, fundamentally, unconstitutional. Unless we change the pledge somehow to include all forms of religion or anti-religion, it is not allowed. My preference? I really like the song "America, the Beautiful". I like how it celebrates the one thing we all can agree on - the beauty of America in all its different forms. It encourages children to respect the land, rather than the politics and factions. It doesn't exclude anyone. And it is fairly easy to sing! In my classroom, I am not going to require children to say the pledge. I am going to teach them "America, the Beautiful" instead. So there you go. My humble opinion on this exciting topic. Now it's your turn...what do you think?

One of my favorite things in the whole world is fresh bread. At the Albertson's (grocery store) near us they put out freshly baked loaves of French bread every day at 4 pm. It smells fabulous and is warm and yummy. Tonight for dinner I had tomatoes with oregano (both grown in my own yard) seasoned with salt, pepper and oil, a couple chunks of French bread and a delicious necterine. YUM. Summer food is the best!!!!! And since I tried on theskirt to my wedding dress and it is actually a little BIG on me I am no longer worrying about the diet! Hooray!

Okay...I know I said I would be reading the Celestine Prophecy and discussing it...but I hope no one is holding their breath out there! I started, I really did. I am into the 4th insight. But I am way more interested in reading Stephen King's IT for the trillionth time at the moment. I just wasn't in the mood for something so...meaningful. Anyway, I still intend to discuss it...I just don't know when. So there.

We went to the dentist today. I do not like going to the dentist. I have never had any horrible experiences, I just don't like having someone messing around in my mouth. I like having my teeth clean but it always hurts. And it makes me feel guilty because I KNOW that it wouldn't hurt if I went every 6 months like I was supposed to and if I remembered to floss every day. All in all, the dentist is a physically and emotionally draining place to go. I have to go back after our honeymoon to have some cavities filled. Poor Mikey has to do the same. Bleh. I hope this will be enough to motivate me to floss every day but I have my doubts. Humans are weak creatures! I told the hygenist that I needed a recording of her voice telling me all the horrible things about losing my teeth so I could play it any time I started slacking off. : ) We'll see what happens.

"Whhhhheeeeeeee. I'm a pop sensation!"

I was watching TV last night and this made me laugh. The grand prize goes to the one who can guess who said it! : )

Sorry - I was wrong about the date yesterday...for some reason I thought it was the 29th. One would think I might have realized it wasn't when I saw the date write there in my post, but NO! Anyway, the 29th was really our ante-versary. Thanks for the well wishes, Joie! I am pretty excited!

I have begun to re-read The Celestine Prophecy. It is a book that deals with why we are here...the reason for being...the meaning of life. It talks about spirituality, relationships, society and the future of humanity. I read it when I first received it, several birthdays ago, but I don't remember much about the "meat" of the story. I don't remember what it was teaching me. A few days ago I was talking with Joie about books. I was looking at my shelf reserved for "special" books - the ones that really spoke to me - and I saw this one. I was moved to read it again, to remind myself of what it was that made me decide to put it on that particular shelf. As I read, I will analyze, discuss, evaluate, ramble on about the ideas it presents in an attempt to hold it's message more deeply than the last time. It is written in such a way that you follow a man on a journey. Along the way he is introduced to several "insights" that explain to him the reasoning behind much human behaviour and show him a new and improved future. I will be taking the book in much the same way. I will discuss each insight as it appears.