Blather

I just felt like popping in here before heading off to bed. Nothing much happening, just wanted to say goodnight. What a nice day. I am much more ready for bed than I thought I would be at this time - Cherry Coke at lunch usually means I am up reading until 1 or 2. This is better, since I have loads of things to do tomorrow.

One is the Loveliest Number...

I am no longer a combo class teacher. I bid my fifth graders a fond farewell on Friday. They packed up all their things and moved into their new classroom with their new teacher. Today I cleaned, arranged and generally prepared for the good life that will begin on Monday.

Although I will miss my wonderful fifth grade students and remember them always, I can't describe the feeling of relief that flowed through me when I erased the fifth grade side of the homework grid. Reducing the grid to only ONE list was very representative of the reduction that is happening in my brain. (How many people are willing to brag about brain reduction?) I am once again one whole person, with a whole person's focus and attention. I love it.

So much fun!

Answers:
A - The Princess Bride. Miracle Max's wife said this after he tells her to "Get back, Witch!".
B - Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The villagers are trying to decide whether to burn a woman for witchery or not.
C - Firefly. The crew swoops down to save Simon and River at the last minute.

To the winners - Your pat on the back is in the mail! My undying admiration begins...NOW. :)

Witches

A pat on the back and my undying admiration to the ones who can identify these quotes...

Quote A (this is really an easy one):
"Get back, witch!" "I'm not a witch! I'm your wife!"

Quote B (still pretty easy):
"She turned me into a newt" "She turned you into a newt?" "Well, I got better."

Quote C (Extra Super Bonus Challenge Round):
"That woman is a witch." "Yes, but she's OUR witch. So cut her down."

(Mikey is not allowed to guess, as he has an uncanny ability to read my mind AND he already has my undying admiration.)

Life is...

Amy had this up and I just had to steal it from her....

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --

"WOW!! What a Ride!"


I LIKE it.

This Is It!

Tomorrow will be the beginning of the end. I have finally been given a reprieve. As of March 1st, my fifth graders will be starting a new class with a new teacher. I will be a fourth grade teacher only. I will be doing ONE job instead of TWO! :)

I am really going to miss my fifth graders, though. They have been exceptionally understanding, cooperative, helpful, flexible and wonderful. They are going to really enjoy being in their own room with a teacher all to themselves, I think, and they totally deserve it.

I am glad that I am finally going to be able to focus on one curriculum and one group of students without feeling torn in two directions. I will no longer have the guilt that I am neglecting one group while working with the other. I won't have to feel guilty for relying on my coworkers so much. I won't have to feel like I am slighting everyone in an attempt to almost cover what each child needs.

The best part is that I am going to be setting a new rule for myself. I will be leaving school at 5:30 every afternoon, whether I am ready or not. I spend way too much time just hanging around at school and with only one curriculum to plan, there is no longer any excuse for it. I will get home before dark every day and have time to spend with my Mikey. I will have the energy to do more than just stare at the tv after I get home.

Thank you all for listening to me complain for the last couple of months and thank you for all your crossed fingers and lucky thoughts. Tomorrow starts the beginning of the end and I couldn't be more excited about it.

Round the 'Sphere, part II

After a brief interlude, we once again press our faces close to the keyhole to see what's going on in the lives of my favorite neighbors in the bloggerhood. Who do we see?

MomBrain - The Brain has a busy week, and her son aspires to be a smoochiepoo when he grows up.

Caffeinated Ramblings of a Coffee Achiever - A sense of melancholy pervades the site this week, as the Achiever remembers the "good old days" of college life.

Not So Simple - Meegan smacks down a bandwidth thief. When she says "not safe for work" she MEANS it! :)

Da Goddess - Joanie is fighting the idiocy of the drive-thru people and her landlord and still finds time to host the Carnival of the Vanities. Whattagal!

Laid-off Dad - The LOD's toddler adds spice to life's little adventures.

My New Name is Dad - Being a dad must be busy work, 'cause there's nothing new here this week.

Daddy, Papa and Me - Trey, Guy and their adopted daughter, Emma have had an exciting couple of weeks. These guys were one of the couples married in the San Fransisco excitement. A fabulous link to the Justly Married photoblog.

Round the -Sphere

What keeps me coming back to a blog? Mostly a sense that the author is openly and honestly sharing his or her thoughts. I am not a big fan of themed blogs ("all war-blogging, all the time" and "tech advice for the technically stupid" blogs are interesting now and then, but not as regular reads), but I adore the blogs that let me peek into other people's every day lives. I think my obsession is two-fold. First, I love to spy on people. I like to know what is going on behind closed doors, even when I don't even know where those doors are. Hitchcock's "Rear Window" was one of my favorite movies for a reason! Secondly, it is relieving to know that other people have the same troubles, wishes, fears, boredoms, etc. that I have. Knowing that I am not the only person facing the things I face makes facing them easier. But it's mostly the spying thing. :)

So I invite you to peek through my key-hole into the lives of some of my favorite neighbors...

defective yeti - This week, Matt is telling lightbulb jokes and reviewing "Lost in Translation" as he and his Queen eagerly await the arrival of their first mini yeti.

Mikey's journal - As promised, Hamumu has added something new and interesting to their website. See what strange ideas are floating around in my hubby's head and give him some feedback. He likes that.

Amy's Page - Amy is resigning as an adult after hearing herself saying all the things that adults used to say to her. She also has a link to a geek heirarchy that made me laugh. Furry loving, fanfic writing, startrek fans indeed.

In Passing - Only two new entries to my favorite evesdropping site, but both are worth reading. "I don't even eat cow, but ew!"

Sugarmama - Seems that geeks are a popular topic this week. Sugar has a list of common geek traits, along with a post complaining that her size 2 pants are too big for her. Poor baby.

Moody Mama - This week Mama is ranting about odd jobs. Go back to last week for pics of her adorable new baby boy.

Dragonfly Baby - Amber has TONS of information about their recent trip to Mexico. I'm lime green with envy.

Because I Say So! - Jodi has realized that we are only interested in the entertainment she provides. Damn. And I was trying to be so sneaky about that.

Confessions of a Grade School Role Model - Karla shares an idea for a Random Act of Kindness aimed at the gay and lesbian couples waiting in line at San Fransisco City Hall.

Wil Wheaton dot Net - Holy Cow. If you don't read anything else, you have to read his "breath of life" post. If only kids could hear those inner monologues all the time. Wil is one of the only bloggers who regularly brings tears to my eyes.

Huzzah

is on my desk, throwing pushpins, razor blades and safety pins at me from the top shelf. He's a dangerous creature.

Good advice

Billy Joel has been my tape deck adviser this week. One of those moments when every line in a song seems to speak directly to me...

Vienna

Where's the fire? What's the hurry about?
You better cool it off Before you burn it out.
There's so much to do
But only so many hours in the day.
...
Slow down, you're doing fine.
You can't be everything you want to be before your time.
...
You got your passion, you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true.

Of course, then he goes on to tell all good catholic schoolgirls to give it up or die young. Ah well. These days I take good advise where I find it.

Beyond the Shark

You know how people say a show has "jumped the shark" when it has outlived its time? Well, Team Angel has inspired a new phrase tonight. From now on, I will say that characters who are just finishing out a season are "wee, little puppet men". It was so funny, and yet so sad at the same time. Sigh. At least I have my new Firefly DVD (complete with comentary) to console myself with.

Cats and Dogs

It rained today. The kind of rain that I am always saying we never get here in SoCal. Rain like the midwest. Rain that doesn't just fall - it throws itself at the ground with a passion, bouncing off the pavement. Rain that outsmarts your umbrella by changing the direction it is coming from randomly.

AND it waited until school was out to start.

Good. Good. Good. Good vibrations.

Things are definitely looking up. Keep me in your prayers, cross your fingers, or do whatever it is that you do for luck. More details later.

Happy Days

I think three day weekends are good for me. I had a wonderful day today and came home with energy to spare (not much, but still...). I think that everyone should have three day weekends all the time. People would be much easier to get along with.

A Very, Very, Very Fine House

I have been thinking about what my dream house will look like. My image of a dream house has changed quite a bit since I was a kid and I wanted a 5 story mansion with a million rooms, one for every different activity I like to do. I now realize that more rooms means more cleaning and more stories means more stairs. My dreams have become something much more realistic, and therefore more attainable.

This weekend we went to a friend's house and I got to see what I have been missing - land. She has a beautiful house with several acres and plenty of elbow room. I stood on her horse barn and looked off into the distance, relishing the silence and the emptiness. It really made me wish we were closer to reaching that goal ourselves. There are even lots available now - 5 and 10 acres. None of them have buildings, and most don't even have water or electricity, but the idea of having room to roam almost makes it worth it. I guess it is a good thing that we are not even close to having enough money, because the last thing I need now is the hassle of selling and buying property, not to mention moving. But I am sure lusting after that view!

I sat down and drew out a houseplan that I liked yesterday. After some touch-ups today I present it to you in all it's glory.



Each sqare in the picture is approximately one foot. You enter just above where it says "front". On the left, is Mikey's office, complete with HUGE desk. The living room is immediately to the right, with the dining room and the kitchen above. Notice the "cooking triangle" formed by the fridge, stove and sink. Down the hall you find a half bath on the left and the laundry room on the right. A little further is the library with bookshelves covering evey wall. The lower left corner of hte house is the master suite - bedroom, bathroom and walk-in closet. The upper left corner has two guest rooms and a shared bathroom. The master bedroom and one guest room have their own deck space and there is another deck wrapping around from the front door to the library. Each main room has sliding door access to the long deck. The square in the upper right corner is Mikey's spa.

Meows per Gallon, Indeed!

Jodi, of Because I Say So!, has posted pictures of a purrrrr-fectly amazing car. You must go look!

MwoahglisnvfasdvhoiuFjawoeirhgn

it's hard not to think "government conspiracy" when the political post you worked on for 45 minutes refuses to show up (and then reappears magically as soon as you type the words "government conspiracy")

anyway - it's posted below.

The Return of the Draft?

Haven't looked into it enough to have a definite opinion yet, but I wanted to share this article with you.

Bush has recently given $28 million to the Selective Services System (draft board) for their 2004 budget. They are going through major overhauls and some say gearing up for a 2005 reinstatement of the draft for all men and women between the ages of 18 and 26. They are set to report to Bush in March of 2005 regarding their latest performance plan, which includes public advertising to fill all currently vacant draft board and appeals board positions.

I did some Googling (such an nice, new verb!) and found nothing I would consider reputable. Although being a raving liberal or a conspiracy theorist doesn't automatically make you WRONG, it doesn't automatically make you RIGHT either! Here are some of the references I found...

Vancouver Independent Media Center - the original article I was sent, same as linked above

Information Archives at Northern New York Technologies - an article about Peak Oil written by Prisoner #6 (?), mentions draft about 1/3 of the way down

"Military Draft" search results from Democrats.com - I'm still looking these over, as well as researching into democrats.com to see what they are all about

Look into it. I am very interested to know what you think about this topic, what information you have found, and what you are going to do with it (whether you agree or disagree, of course). This election is going to come down to who is most motivated to vote and nothing is more motivation than information. Get your information. Get your motivation. Get yourself into a voting booth and speak your mind.

Hee Hee

I found a funny story in the comments of In Passing today. I have no idea if it is true, but never-the-less it is FUNNY. That poor teacher. Here goes...


Denis (Leary) also has a great bit where he talks about being called into a parent-teacher conference because his son was heard singing "an offensive song that included repetition of an extremely dirty word." Denis needled her, but she wouldn't tell him what word. Finally she said, "Mr. Leary, the song is called, 'I'm An Asshole.'" Denis laughed out loud. "Do you know this song, Mr. Leary?" "Know it? I wrote it!"


I wouldn't have had this problem. I know this song well and sing along heartily whenever I see Leary perform it on Comedy Central. I would have had a little chat with the Leary boy and that would have been the end of the story. Teachers have to be up on all the latest stuff! That way you can convince a child to get with the program by saying "That was SOOOooooo five minutes ago!" or explain what the European explorers were looking for by refering to it as "a little bling, bling". Nothing like pop culture to get kids attention in this era of soundbites and video clips!

Yesterday...

Did you have the words "all my troubles seemed so far away..." in your head after reading that title? Well you won't be reading them here. Yesterday all my troubles and frustrations and denials of said troubles and frustrations came to a head while I was cooking pancakes for my beloved. Suddenly a fun, little surprise turned into a battle over nothing and instead of serving them with a smile, I put them down in front of him and burst into tears. 10 wet and soggy minutes later, I felt much better. And we managed to have a nice day anyway.

For as long as I can remember this has been my typical MO. I have a tiny box inside me where all the bad feelings go. They all get crammed in there, packed on top of one another like bitter, decaying sardines. Until one day I try to lift the lid a crack to stuff in an especially tiny one (just one more thin mint?) and the whole box shatters into a million pieces - spraying rotten fish all over my life with springloaded action. Eventually I get it cleaned up - double bagged and left on the curb - and for awhile I feel better. A fresh, new box awaits.

I used to spend days cleaning up after a meltdown of this magnitude. Now I have an extra pair of hands to pick me up, brush me off and help me sort through the rubble. Take yesterday, for example. 10 soggy minutes after bursting into tears I felt better. We re-heated the pancakes and went on with our day. Among all the lessons that Mikey has taught me, this is the best one. Bad things happen, you deal with it, and life goes on. How true.

Today....all my trouble seem so far away. :) Thanks, Mikey. I love you.

Worst Decision Ever Award

And the winner is...


...former German porn star, Sibylle Rauch. What could be so important as to make you move while someone is trying to remove your bra with a chainsaw? The world may never know.

Second place goes to...

...Annie Sturrock, a teacher from the UK, for taping a student's mouth shut. Bragging about it on his report card wasn't so bright, either.

Not Just Another Valentine's Day Wedding

Wow.
I had no idea this was going to be such an important day. On Wednesday, Gavin Newsom (mayor) and the city of San Fransisco invited gay and lesbian couples from around the country to get married at City Hall. By Friday afternoon, 665 homosexual marriages had been performed, with hundreds of couples still waiting. Weddings are expected to continue through the weekend and Monday's holiday. And the first couple?

"Phyllis Lyon, 79, left, and Del Martin, 83, embrace after being married at San Francisco City Hall on Thursday. They are the first same-sex couple to be officially married in the United States. Chronicle photo by Liz Mangelsdorf"

These two are celebrating their 51st anniversary this year.
Wow.

Information from San Fransisco Chronicle, MSNBC, and the Daddy, Papa and Me blog. Good luck, guys!)

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to those who celebrate it. Mikey and I are not big fans of this particular holiday. We much prefer doing lovey dovey things at random times throughout the year. Plus, neither of us is crazy about the traditional gifts - flowers, diamonds, huge steak dinners. We DO like chocolate, but as a teacher, I got more chocolate than we could eat in a month!

This morning I made pancakes for breakfast (Mikey likes it when I make breakfast. Otherwise he just has cereal and juice.) and cut some of them into heart shapes with a cookie cutter. It was all very sweet. Mostly because of the syrup. Then we did some errands and watched the first DVD of the series "24". All in all, it has been a typical Saturday. :)

Update

I was sent a suggestion for my Gathering of the Greats party! Hooray!

Douglas Adams has been added to the list of guests. He was suggested not only for his fun writing, but also because he could provide the babelfish that will be needed to allow all the guests to interact with each other. Thanks for the idea, Cousin A and Uncle P!!

Hi.

I am having a good day. I hope you are too. :) And if you are - I hope you are enjoying it while it lasts!

There is nothing like a quick game of Simon Says to get kids following verbal directions again! I was trying to trick them all right, but not the way they thought! I was thrilled when I was unable to get them to fall for my verbal traps. It shows they are paying attention!

Silly Kitty

My Huzzah was all curled up in the blanket with me as I was reading tonight. (I am having a quiet evening alone, as Mikey is not feeling well.) Our kitties are very good at knowing when we need some extra TLC and tonight they were both on duty. 'Zah with me, and 'Zazzy with Mikey. Anyway, Huzzah was curled up under the blankets when suddenly he stretched a little too far to the right and slumped right off the edge of the couch. The blanket cushioned his fall some, but also prevented him from executing any fancy cat moves to save his dignity. He just laid there, tangled up in the blanket, shaking his head as if to say "What the heck just happened?" Then he rolled onto his back so I could rub his fuzzy tummy - something that made both of us feel better.

Fight or Flight

Human being are genetically engineered to physically respond to any threat to their well-being. At the first sign of danger our bodies prepare to either fight the good fight or run like hell. Our heartbeats, breathing rate and adrenaline levels all go up in anticipation. This response takes a large amount of energy and is not something that can be sustained for long.

I feel as though I am in a constant state of fight or flight these days. I spend every waking moment battling to keep my head above water (in the classroom) or frantically trying to recover (at home). I am caught in a whirlwind of emotions - all coming and going randomly throughout the day.

Today alone I was
-angry at a system that has failed and continues to fail a struggling student
-proud of a team that refuse to sit down and accept failure of the system
-frustrated by a lack of understanding
-proud of hard work and self-motivation
-overwhelmed by lack of effort
-brought to tears by helplessness
-fearful that I am failing at the only thing I truly care about doing
-supported by a friend
-digusted by continued patronizing and condescension
-hugged by 8 small people who recognize a pain that grownups are refusing to acknowledge
-laughing with joy at the learning happening in my classroom
-clenching my teeth with resentment over lost lunch minutes
-glad to bring laughter to a friend's face

All this swirling emotion is slowly grinding me down. At 12:25 this afternoon, my body abruptly switched from fight mode to flight mode and it was all I could do to make myself stay at work. For 15 minutes all I wanted to do was lock the door, turn out the lights and sob. Instead, I took a deep breath, walked down the hall and attended the meeting that had been scheduled during my lunch hour. Of course, the day got better and I dismissed my class at 3:15 with a smile and a wave. That doesn't negate the fact that I am becoming emotionally unable to deal with simple, everyday situations. Thing that wouldn't ordinarily phase me, are sending me into tailspins that are increasingly harder to come out of. Something has to change.

More Books continued

Since I last mentioned it, I have finished two more of the books my students will be reading for their book clubs this month.

Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt - This is a challenging read using very poetic imagery and requiring some intellectual thought. I am assigning it only to my advanced 5th graders, and I will still need to guide them through several parts. In this story a little girl discovers a family that has become immortal after drinking from a very special spring. They talk of many important things, including why the spring needs to remain a secret and what life is like when there is no death waiting at the end. Although I found some of the interpersonal interactions to be a little contrived, I am excited to see what my students think of the basic premise.

The Enormous Egg by Oliver Butterworth - A farm family in 1950's New England discovers that their hen has laid a very unusual egg. When it hatches into a very unusual creature, Nate has his hands full feeding the hatchling, working with scientists and fending off over-zealous politicians. A fantastical story that every child will wish they had been a part of.

I have also begun From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg but I am not yet prepared to comment on it.

Warning and Wisdom

I read something over at Moody Mama's that struck me just right. I often wonder if I should be tempering the things that I write to spare reader's feelings. I know that I have family members who read and I know that it would be an easy enough thing for my students and/or their families to find this place. Because of that I know that I am somewhat guarded in what I say, however this is MY PLACE. Since starting this journal I have learned things about myself that I never knew before and I have dealt with things that would have just churned around inside of me. This blog is cheap therapy available whenever I need it. So I know exactly how Mama feels when she says,

"I can't change who I am. I can't change what I write about - I don't want to. And honestly, anyone that knows me wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised to read damn near 95% of these posts anyway - but still.

I have written about people that I don't want hurt. If they were to find this, figure out who I am, and take a stroll through the archives - chances are, they are going to recognize themselves as the subject of a moody bitchfest. And while I am not one to talk trash behind someone's back - I do handle things a bit more ... tactfully when I address the issue in real life. My blog is for my inner feelings - no kid gloves."

I couldn't have said it better myself and I hope that any visitors here understand that these words are most often reflections of my feelings and thoughts at the moment that they are written. Often just hitting the "post and publish" button relieves the pressure and stress that led to the thoughts in the first place.

I have said it before, but I guess it always bears repeating. This blog, although it started out as a way to communicate with family that lives far away, has evolved into a way to express the frustrations and angers and fears and joys and monotonous moments that make me who I am. Anyone is more than welcome to read and comment. I thrive on the discussion generated here. However, if reading this blog makes you unhappy, do us both a favor and stay away. Don't put yourself in a position to be hurt by my personal ventings and rages. They are not meant for you anyway. They are meant for me.

More about Books

I have been doing some light reading in preparation for the book clubs I am starting in my classroom. I am of the mind that I shouldn't be asking my students to read and discuss stories that I haven't read. I need to be able to guide their thinking and answer their questions - something I can't do if I don't know the story. Therefore I have recently read the following 4th grade books:

Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan - This is a charming story about a pioneer family. Dad and two kids have been living on their own for some time when they decide it is time to advertise for a new mother. Sarah arrives by train from the East and the children do everything they can to convince her to stay. At 58 pages, this Newberry Medal winner is a nice, easy read.

A Jar of Dreams by Yoshiko Uchida - In this historical fiction, a young Japanese American girl learns to appreciate her culture and believe in herself. Her aunt, visiting from Japan, helps the family through some tough times, as they face discrimination.

Ooooooh. Aaaaaaaaah.

You have to check out these microscopic pictures. Especially tylenol, zoloft, and prozac. I like those ones. Not sure I like cipro - it's pretty but in a dark and brooding kind of way. Which are your favorites? Don't forget to check out the religion collection. Very interesting idea. I wasn't impressed with the birthstone collection, but pharmaceuticals was phacinating. :) And Vitamin C can be very pretty when it wants to.

booksbooksbooksbooks

Today I got a HUGE box from Scholastic Books. It contained my order of 100 books for my classroom. And I didn't have to pay a single penny! The entire collection was paid for with bonus points. It took me over an hour to go through my new collection of fiction and non-fiction books. I love getting BOOKS!!!

Viva La Revolution

Some co-workers and I spent time this afternoon discussing the sad state of affairs in the public school system. (No, I haven't given up on my rant - I just haven't had any time to work on it. It is still very much a work in progress.) I told them about my dreams of opening up my own private school and someone else commented that there will be no change until teacher like us band together and start a grassroots uprising of sorts. I left feeling like the four of us might just be the first few grains of sand grinding around in the oyster's insides - get enough of us together and perhaps a pearl in the shape of school reform will develop over time.

Just popping in

i don't actually have anything to say
~the day went well
~my status remains the same
~i haven't finished my rant about the public school system
~mikey is doing all the chores
~i didn't find anything during my surfing that inspired me to write

and yet i am still here - rambling on about how i have nothing to ramble about. It is an addiction. I am off to watch Angel in hopes that they heard my complaining and decided to improve the story line some.

Speaking of my Man...

After several weeks of seeing mostly the top of my hubbies head (either snuggled in the blankets as I am leaving for work or bent of the controller connecting him to Final Fantasy X), I finally had enough. I had a sub today. All morning I did reading assessments for some of my struggling readers and all afternoon Mikey and I played at Mulligan's - the local mini golf and arcade place. Ten dollar Tuesday ROCKS! I got lots of Mikey time AND I won the round of mini golf. A good day all around.

That Man of Mine

Mikey wrote an excellent rant about music, televisiont and music television in his own journal that I want you all to go read. NOW. Please?

This Magic Moment

I was so caught up in the hussle and bustle of the end of the day that I very nearly missed one of the best moments of the whole year. To fully appreciate it, you have to have a little background.

Q (not his real name) is a child with a past. He has lived in a car. He has lived with foster care. He has been betrayed by nearly every adult in his life. I have spent the whole year showing him that he can trust me. I have set boundries and then held him to them - gently. I have praised him for his efforts and corrected his mistakes.

In the last few months, Q has become very obviously enamored with me. He will follow me around the room, using any excuse to ask me questions and tell me things. He draws me pictures and leaves them on my desk. He compliments my clothes and new haircut. Not only is he willing to verbalize his pleasure at being around me, but his academics have been improving as well.

Several times in the last weeks Q has acted as though he is seeking physical contact - a hug or a pat on the back - only to veer off at the last minute. This has come up several times in instances of upset or frustration for him, but he consistently closes himself off before letting me in completely.

This afternoon, when I handed him his homework packet, Q gave me a huge hug and said a big "thank you". Even just writing that gives me the chills. If it had happened after he won a game or got a treat, I would think he just got caught up in the moment. But this was over HOMEWORK. This was obviously something that he has been planning and working up to for some time. Today he finally gathered up his courage and opened himself up emotionally to someone. With that hug he allowed himself to trust an adult with the most precious thing he has - his heart.

I can't even express how much I needed this today. I have been struggling with every single aspect of work these days, feeling especially bad because I know that I am less fun to be around when I am tired and cranky. Q's hug re-affirmed my faith in myself to a certain extent. It reminded me that it is most important for me to help these kids learn to love themselves, other and learning. If I can soak them in a bubblebath of love for these three things, I will be a success.

Q thinks I am a success.

spread the message

Mikey bought me an adorable t-shirt from this place (NSFW). It's the one with the daisy on it. There are lots of other things there that I would love to say I own, including the button that says "my insanity is a symptom of my resistance to the ****ing system" and the stickers that say "don't lie to kids" and "why obey morons?". Between this place and my other favorite revolutionary catalog, I could be set for life.

All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit...Get over it! Get over it!*

It seems that I have recovered some from the disgusting pity party I was having in my head yesterday. I apologize to all for having to listen to my drivel and I apologize to Mikey for having to be in the same house with it for the last week. Life is rough for everyone at some point. Just because I am feeling overwhelmed doesn't make me special. I hate whiners and I especially hate it when I fall into that category. Bootstraps and upper lips and all that jazz.

*Yep, that is the Eagles.

Patently Stupid

Being married to a software guy and having been through lawyer crap with him, I empathize and sympathize with this guy. There's nothing like a jerk with a big checkbook trying to push everybody around. Check out his dilemma and help him out if you can.