I am terrified that I am not doing my job right. I am wracked with guilt that I might have taught some concept a little better, explained an activity a little clearer, understood a child's emotions a little deeper. I am afraid that I am failing. Failing to communicate well enough with the parents. Failing to get through to the children. Failing to do my fair share of the work. I wake up at night wondering if I am prepared enough for the next day. I stop in the middle of what I am doing to wonder if I shouldn't be doing something more school related. Despite (or perhaps because of) her encouraging words and the complete absence of any complaints, I fear that my partner is disappointed in what I am doing, but I hesitate to ask for fear of being a bother.

I am adrift in the midst of a vast sea of expectations and I just read the find print on my raft: "For entertainment purposes in shallow water only. Not to be used as an emergency floatation device." I don't know how much longer I can doggie paddle my way through this. And the more frightened I become the harder it gets to keep my head above water. Panic never helps, but I am panicking.

What do I do?