Egg Babies

In fifth grade we spend 2 carefully proscribed, meticulously censored hours teaching "Growth and Development". Basically, this means we shut the blinds, separate the XX from the XY and talk about puberty. It's all very hush-hush - I mean what else would you expect from a country founded by Puritans? Anyway, my Thursday afternoon was taken up watching an ancient, but factual video (seriously, the outfits were dated enough that I would have mocked them when I was in 5th grade), answering questions asked by blushing, but intensely focused, girls ("What if I get it when only my dad is home?"), and displaying transparencies of genitalia on the overhead.

Coupled (pun NOT intended) with this is our Egg Baby unit, a two day project during which students are given a hard-boiled egg and told to name it, love it, and protect it. The idea is to show what kind of responsibility goes along with being an adult and, ultimately, a parent. The reality of it, at least in my room, was that my relatively well balanced students LOST THEIR FREAKIN' MINDS. From Thursday morning to Friday afternoon I was dealing with a constant barrage of egg related problems.

"So-and-so bumped me and made me drop my egg!"

"Somebody called my egg a name."

"My egg and That Other Girl's egg are boyfriend and girlfriend."

"I can't go outside yet, my egg hasn't been fed and burped and bathed and put down for his afternoon nap."

"But I needed to finish making this outfit for my egg, so I couldn't work on the assignment."

"A student in your class grabbed an egg belonging to one of my students and smashed it repeatedly against a desk."

"I don't want a girl egg baby."

By the end of the first day I was ready to take all the little darling Egg Babies and make a giant egg salad sandwich.

The children were required to provide a "safe" home for their egg baby. Most were housed in cardboard boxes of various sizes. The simplest of homes were stuffed with tissues and fabric scraps to cushion their travels. The most complex had beds and tables and Barbie food and toys and BBQs and clothing.

I collected the eggs after lunch on Friday. Some of them were still in perfect condition. ("Do I have to give him to you? Can't I keep him?") Most were slightly cracked or dented. ("I think I squeezed him too hard while I was sleeping.") A few were in pretty bad shape. ("All his skin fell off so I put him in this plastic egg to be safe.") One came back to me missing half the white and all of the yolk and covered in dirt. (There was no explaination for this one.) I'm just grateful that no one cried when they had to give up their little darling.

166 down, 14 to go

There are three weeks of school left and I have a 3 day weekend during which I may prepare. (I use the term prepare loosely here, as my recent "preparation" strategy is to turn around after finishing a lesson, stare blankly at the board, and wonder what we should be doing next*.) I think I am off to a good start today, having taken a total of three naps ranging in duration from 2 hours to 15 minutes. I can only imagine the excitement that tomorrow will bring!

Per the usual End-Of-The-Year rush there are too many things to do and not enough time in which to do them. I submit to you a partial list:

final reading test
final writing test
final math test
make solar system posters
presend solar system posters
attend 3rd grade performance
thank parent volunteers
attend chorus performance
kick ass at field day
participate in softball tournament
picnic with 2nd grade buddies
rehearse for graduation
collect and return all library books
strip walls
empty desks and cubbies
hold goodie auction
attend graduation
tearfully say goodbye

You can see it is going to be a stressful few weeks.



*To any parents who might have accidentally come across this blog I beg you to see the sarcasm and self-depreciation contained within this sentence and refrain from reporting me to the authorities! In case you need motivation, and since I have yet to fill in the report cards for this trimester, just contact me with your prefered GPA and it can be arranged**.

**Again, I jest. Really.

The Reason

We read a story in class today about a young Italian man. It took place just as Italy was joining WWI, and the plot focused on how his mother smuggled him out of town in a hay wagon so he could take a boat to America to avoid being drafted. It was just a quick story that was supposed to help them identify elements of story structure: setting, characters, problem, solution. We ended up having a 30 minute discussion about the draft, Vietnam, regime change, the internet, political leaders, war vets, Iraq, the bombing of the world trade center, sexism, and the reality of war versus the stuff we see on TV and in the movies. Dang. And the only real contributions I made revolved around making sure they weren't interrupting one another and providing factual information when asked (Does everyone get drafted?). They led the conversation where they wanted it to go.

I make a very conscious effort to avoid labelling political or religious beliefs as "right" or "wrong" in my classroom. (I'll let you imagine the state of my tongue after one girl quoted our pal, Mr. Bill O'Reilly!) It isn't my job to tell them what to think. Any time those topics come up, I stick to two main phrases...

"That is what some people believe."

and

"But what about..."

No matter which side of the fence students are standing, there is always room for them to realize that they are, in fact, on one side of a very twisted and winding fence and that it's never too late to ask questions to better help you decide which side of that fence you really want to be on. If they take nothing more from my classroom, I hope they remember that I taught them to question everything and take nothing at face value, because there are too damn many people out there trying to take advantage of those who don't think.

I will now step off my soapbox and head to bed. Have a nice night, y'all.

How Does My Garden Grow?

I broke down and bought seedlings from Home Depot this year. My seedlings didn't grow due to negligence and abuse, and by the time I had time to replant it was too late in the season. So, I sold out and bought my veggies pre-started. (This is the last time!)

Here's the overall layout:



Mikey has to have his strawberries!


This shows where the corn will grow (hopefully!),


and this shows where the herbs will be. I planted rosemary, thyme, sage, basil, oregano, and parsley. And maybe something else that I can't remember and will surprise me. There are also carrots and onions planted in there.


We planted two rows of tomatoes, two rows of bell peppers, and a row of beans. Yum!


It said that watermelon like sandy, well-drained soil, so I have hopes for our crop this year. We also have cantelope and zucchini for the fun of it.

The Sights

It is definitely spring around here. The whole property is growing rapidly, in an effort to do what needs to be done before the summer heat hits and dries everything out.

The hill behind the garden. Mia and Trooper love to hunt here. I am just in awe that our little desert habitat can get so green.


We have tons of flowers in bloom: jaunty, purple ones,


tiny, yellow ones,


tall, red ones,


and elegant, blue ones.


Even the cactus is getting into the act.


If you recall, our house was covered in snow in the middle of March. Now it looks a little warmer.

Dogs!

Since you last heard, things have changed rapidly. Instead of having the run of the property day and night, our beloved puppies are kenneled 24/7 unless out walking, leashed, with us. This extreme change is entirely brought about by their newest talent: Jumping The Six Foot Fence. Being incredibly intelligent and motivated, they have developed a cunning way of running at the corner, bouncing off one side while simultaneously pushing off the diagonal bar, and launching themselves to freedom. This provides them with access to their favorite of all things: RABBITS! Once outside, both dogs proceed to run frantically back and forth across the vacant lot across the road, chasing anything that moves, until they are exhausted. No amount of calling or offering of cookies can convince them to come close, we just have to follow them until they are too tired to run away.

Since this is not something we enjoy doing, they have been confined to quarters for most of the past week. We toyed with the idea of putting hot wire around the fence, but have decided that we would like to try some training first. We have a trainer coming next weekend to consult with us. I have talked with her at length on the phone and I am very excited about her ideas. Basically, we are going to make them work (sit,stay,down,heel,come) so that they are already too tired to go hunting. They are walked three times a day right now and we have started working on sit, stay, and down with them. I can tell that a walk full of commands is more tiring to them than a walk full of running and sniffing, so I have hope for this program.



I have my work cut out for me, though. Trooper is eager to follow directions, but not really smart enough to catch on quickly. It takes many repetitions before he understands what I am asking of him. Once he does get it, he responds fairly well. Mia, on the other hand, is stubborn like you wouldn't believe. She knows exactly what I want, but will often refuse to make eye contact with me in an effort to pretend she can't hear me. It is going to take awhile before she accepts that I am the alpha dog around her. It's a good thing she is so darn sweet!

My Heart

Some pics from my trip home in April for Grandma's memorial...

This was my first real visit with Baby Richie. He is one of the most even-tempered babies I have ever met. He was friendly and open and calm. He has the greatest smile! The only time he ever even fussed was when he was hungry, and then he would mostly just pull you over to the highchair. Of course, this happened about every 10 and 1/2 seconds. That boy can EAT!


Here's my baby brother, the football star, with my niece. He was eating cake, so forgive the funny expression. Although, come to think of it, he always has some kind of funny expression on his face!


Here's my other brother with the two older kiddos. I truly loved seeing him interact with them. He's very patient and calm. I just wish that smile actually reached his eyes.


And one of my favorite pics from the trip: Lex, Mikey, and myself. Aren't we ADORABLE?

School News

School continues to take up much of my time. My kids are suffering under the delusion that they are already middle schoolers. I am learning to deal with the Drama (yes, with a capital D!) of pre-teen emotions and relationships without taking anything too personally. My students and I are carefully navigating the new balance between what they want/need and what I want/need in our room. It is more of a challenge to get them to cooperate, but it is more amazing and enjoyable when it happens. I must admit that I am relieved to hear that dismissal bell on some days, though.

That being said, I must give my students their props. We are smack dab in the middle of our state testing now, and I am proud to be able to say that all of my kids seem to be doing their very best. I don't care what their scores are as long as they are really putting their best effort into it. We have worked hard this year, and I am proud of my kiddos. While I continue to feel that we are asking too much of them and pushing them too far, this group seems to be handling the pressure well. They know that it is important to show what they have learned, but none of them are taking it so seriously that they let it cripple them.

To help them with this, I have upped the level of humor and relaxation in the afternoons. We are spending more time playing games (reviewing concepts, but still fun), working on high interest projects (Mothers' Day! Talent Show!), and burning some of the Spring Fever energy that builds up every time the sun peeks through the haze. There has been a plethora of jokes and laughter, making school a much more relaxing place than the previous month. We are all enjoying that.