Saturday, October 11, 2003

Sympathy vs Empathy

I am being told (see previous post) by the "powers that be"* that I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and just get on with the job that needs to be done. That it's better for me to do my best and have mediocre results than to give up and get no results at all.

Why do I accept this message from a random assortment of paragraphs found in a random assortment of readings but not from the teachers I work with every day? Perhaps because I can accept this advise better from a source that has some authority in my eyes. The teachers in my support circle all feel sorry for me and my situation, but none of them have been through it themselves. I guess I accept the "powers that be" as a source that have (has?) been in my shoes, or at least ones of similar size, color and style. I recognize this advice as being empathic - showing actual understanding - rather than just sympathetic - sharing the resulting emotion - towards my feelings of fear, anger, overwhelmedness, and impotence.

Anyway. All I am trying to say is that I am working on taking their (powers, co-workers, boss) advice. I am working at adjusting my expectations to levels that are possible and accepting my limitations for what they are - a product of my age, inexperience and position right now, not a permanent part of my life. I'm working at it.

*No, I don't actually have any idea who/what/if the "powers that be" are, but I have faith that they know what they are talking about. I'm sure that makes little sense to anyone. I can't explain it. I just know it makes sense to me.

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