This Magic Moment

I was so caught up in the hussle and bustle of the end of the day that I very nearly missed one of the best moments of the whole year. To fully appreciate it, you have to have a little background.

Q (not his real name) is a child with a past. He has lived in a car. He has lived with foster care. He has been betrayed by nearly every adult in his life. I have spent the whole year showing him that he can trust me. I have set boundries and then held him to them - gently. I have praised him for his efforts and corrected his mistakes.

In the last few months, Q has become very obviously enamored with me. He will follow me around the room, using any excuse to ask me questions and tell me things. He draws me pictures and leaves them on my desk. He compliments my clothes and new haircut. Not only is he willing to verbalize his pleasure at being around me, but his academics have been improving as well.

Several times in the last weeks Q has acted as though he is seeking physical contact - a hug or a pat on the back - only to veer off at the last minute. This has come up several times in instances of upset or frustration for him, but he consistently closes himself off before letting me in completely.

This afternoon, when I handed him his homework packet, Q gave me a huge hug and said a big "thank you". Even just writing that gives me the chills. If it had happened after he won a game or got a treat, I would think he just got caught up in the moment. But this was over HOMEWORK. This was obviously something that he has been planning and working up to for some time. Today he finally gathered up his courage and opened himself up emotionally to someone. With that hug he allowed himself to trust an adult with the most precious thing he has - his heart.

I can't even express how much I needed this today. I have been struggling with every single aspect of work these days, feeling especially bad because I know that I am less fun to be around when I am tired and cranky. Q's hug re-affirmed my faith in myself to a certain extent. It reminded me that it is most important for me to help these kids learn to love themselves, other and learning. If I can soak them in a bubblebath of love for these three things, I will be a success.

Q thinks I am a success.