Yesterday...

Did you have the words "all my troubles seemed so far away..." in your head after reading that title? Well you won't be reading them here. Yesterday all my troubles and frustrations and denials of said troubles and frustrations came to a head while I was cooking pancakes for my beloved. Suddenly a fun, little surprise turned into a battle over nothing and instead of serving them with a smile, I put them down in front of him and burst into tears. 10 wet and soggy minutes later, I felt much better. And we managed to have a nice day anyway.

For as long as I can remember this has been my typical MO. I have a tiny box inside me where all the bad feelings go. They all get crammed in there, packed on top of one another like bitter, decaying sardines. Until one day I try to lift the lid a crack to stuff in an especially tiny one (just one more thin mint?) and the whole box shatters into a million pieces - spraying rotten fish all over my life with springloaded action. Eventually I get it cleaned up - double bagged and left on the curb - and for awhile I feel better. A fresh, new box awaits.

I used to spend days cleaning up after a meltdown of this magnitude. Now I have an extra pair of hands to pick me up, brush me off and help me sort through the rubble. Take yesterday, for example. 10 soggy minutes after bursting into tears I felt better. We re-heated the pancakes and went on with our day. Among all the lessons that Mikey has taught me, this is the best one. Bad things happen, you deal with it, and life goes on. How true.

Today....all my trouble seem so far away. :) Thanks, Mikey. I love you.