Don't mind me, I'll just lie here until I feel better.

Many of you have been reading for a long time, and most of you have known me for much of my life, so it is no big revelation to tell you that I have difficulty with change. Someday, I will learn to deal with it. In the meantime, you get the entertainment of seeing me flounder through life. Lucky you.

I got a letter from my mother the other day. You see, she got remarried a few years ago and things have been a little...awkward...between us. I like the guy fine, but it's still very strange for me - a big change that I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with. In an effort to keep things peaceful and calm, I just ignored the problems rather than facing up to them, as I am wont to do. Obviously, I did a poor job of hiding my feelings, because I was confronted with them in the letter.

Normally, I would reply immediately that all was well and there was nothing to worry about. That is what I do - I am a peacemaker and I hate to make waves (within my family, at least). But this time was different. Instead, I wrote a long letter explaining all of my worries and frustrations and fears. I laid my emotions out bare for her to see and sent them off through the ionosphere to her computer.

It is supposed to feel good to come clean about things. I should be glad to have these things off my chest and out in the open. So why, from the minute I hit send, have I been having the kind of stomach pains that leave me curled up in a fetal position under my desk? I have selfishly spewed out my feelings and sent them to her to deal with. As if she doesn't have enough problems.

Good grief.