Shit.

They say familiarity breeds contempt. I don't know about that, but I do know it tends to blind you to small, gradual changes. For the second time in her young life, my Zazzy girl is showing signs of health issues and I am feeling like a lousy mom because I have let it go on so long without noticing.

I got Pizzazz from the Escondido Humane Society, along with her cohort in crime, Huzzah, in October of 2000. This was immediately after moving into an apartment that would allow animals. I didn't know it at the time, but she was a Scottish Fold, known for those bent over ears and often plagued with joint problems. All I saw was a tiny, gray furball with droopy whiskers who curled up in my neck and became mine with one snuggle.

A couple of months later, we realized that Zazzy wasn't jumping up onto things like Huzzah was. In fact, after watching her, we noticed that often she would pull her body along the carpet with her front paws rather than bearing weight on her back legs. Taking her to the vet, I was informed that due to her double Scottish Foldedness she was suffering from an arthritis type pain in her joints. Although nothing could cure it, we were able to stop the pain with a cortisone shot. Since that day, she has taken a pill every day to enhance her cartileges (the feline equivalent of Glucosamine). Her mobility improved greatly, but the vet warned me to be ready for problems as she aged.

While Huzzah is like a cat-shaped dog, Zazzy has always been true to form. She is a finicky eater, spends lots of time sleeping in tucked away corners, and snuggles on her terms. That is not to say that she is aloof or antiaffectionate - she loves to play with the caps from water bottles and she gets very concerned when someone sneezes. For the past 5 years, she's been my girl, through and through.

Change has never been Zazzy's favorite thing. We have to stick to one brand of cat food and one kind of kitty litter or face the wrath that is a kitty on Box Strike. She hates when company comes or when we go away and we've been very creative with our Christmas trees because she won't tolerate a traditional one in the house. So, I wasn't really surprised or worried when it her some time to get used to the new house. I figured that the excess sleeping, the lack of appetite, and the constant hiding were symptoms of the move.

A couple of days ago, she stopped coming to her bowl even for breakfast time. (She never misses breakfast since that is when she gets her pill.) Last night, Mikey picked her up and commented on how light she was. Rather than playing with the cap that we tossed for her, she lost interest after failing to track its path. Her face, shoulders, and hips are far more angular than they should be and her eyes have a listless look. It is obvious that there is something wrong.

How could I have missed this for so long? I can only plead the distraction of moving and argue that I was lulled by her similar habits even when healthy. Neither is an excuse that I find acceptable. I will, however, hold off my self-recriminations until Friday afternoon. At three o'clock we will meet the new vet for the first time and hope that he can find a quick and easy cure to whatever is ailing her. I have to hope for that, because I can't imagine the alternative. I know that to some Zazzy is "just a cat", and there are much bigger concerns out there in the real world. But she is a major part of MY real world. Please send her some healing vibes and me some calming thoughts over the next 4 days.