Gone and Back Again

I'm home!

What? You didn't know I was gone? I guess that is my fault. I am updating way too infrequently these days.

Regardless, I am back from my little jaunt to the midwest, feeling as though I have added some super glue to a few of my most important bonds. Although the impetus for the trip wasn't the most cheerful (memorial for grandma), I crammed as much visiting into the few short days that I possibly could.

I spent two of those days up to my elbows in niece and nephews. That was the best. I worry that they are going to forget about me when it gets so long in between visits and the last time I saw them was their mother's wedding - they were a little preoccupied. This time, I got to play Uno and tell jokes and wrestle and snuggle and read and bask in the sheer energy of them. They are growing up so, so fast. L is already reading quite well and blew me away with her logical and organized thinking. She's got a pile of brains, she does. D is adding and subtracting ("Give me a plus up to 30, Auntie Solee!") He has the sweetest way of saying my name that just makes my heart melt. For such a little pistol, he is awfully charming. Little R is the easiest, snuggliest baby I have ever met. This was the first time he was really old enough to understand who I was and he gave me one of those baby hugs where they wrap their arms around your neck and smoosh their soft cheeks up against yours. Aaah. I think my place as Most Revered Auntie is once again safe.

I also got to see my baby brother (He's almost 20!!) and meet his girlfriend. He looks like he is thriving on college and football and love. He's a happy camper these days and I am thrilled to see it. I can't believe this is the same kid I used to wrestle to the floor where I would tickle him until he cried. I coudn't wrestle him to the floor if my life depended on it now!

My other brother also made an appearance. I am always so torn up when I see him. Part of me is just so happy to be with him, able to hug him for myself and see that he's still around. Another part of me wants to smack him for scaring me so much all the time. It leaves me awkward and tongue-tied around him. I don't want to tick him off with my big sister lecturing and I don't want to embarrass him with my gushing. I think I need to get him out here for a week of "just us" time. Give us time to talk but not pressure him by cramming it all into one evening. I did love seeing how he put up with the kiddos crawling all over him. They love him and he loves them. You can see that plain as day.

My mom and I got to spend several hours talking together, something we haven't done in a while. Sunday morning, we went through tons of photos of grandma and grandpa and us kids as, well, kids. We found lots of beautiful pictures of grandma and made a couple of posters to have up for the memorial. I learned quite a bit of family history that morning. The actual memorial was very laid back and pleasant. I think grandma would have been pleased.

Things with mom's husband were going fairly well too. I still get the distinct feeling that he would rather not have me around, but I feel like I tried to be polite and friendly. Mom thought things went smoothly, for the most part, and that is what really matters. I don't want to be adding any negativity to her life.

All in all, it was a very nice trip and I am grateful that I got the chance to take it. My only regret is not being able to see the northern WI members of the clan. I promise, it will happen soon.