Sunday, February 27, 2005
Sun, Shine Down on Me
Finally, after weeks of rain, we have had a couple days of sun. The air is still a mite chilly (according to CA standards), but the sun is out and things are looking up. It's a good thing I'm not still in the Northwoods. I get Seasonal Affective Disorder after 2 weeks of gray. I wouldn't survive a whole MN winter.
No, Tell Us What You REALLY Think.
It seems I am having a weekend of honesty and communication. Friday, I sent my brother a letter telling him how I feel regarding his drug use. Last night, I talked with my mom about several things that were bothering me. Today, I had a very open discussion with my grandma about her depression. I'm letting it all hang out. Hopefully, others are feeling that these were productive discussions as well.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Update
It is amazing how phone call can make such a difference in how one is feeling. After about an hour of conversing with my mother, I feel better about our relationship, my brother's future, and a whole host of other things. Communication truly is the key. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight!
Photos with Isha
This is the plum in our backyard. I managed to catch this photo during a break in the rain that seems bent on flushing all human life out of southern CA.
If you can't say something nice...
It's been a few days. I was sick of whining about things and I didn't have much good news coming my way. Anything I thought about writing was either depressing or negative. Well...it's all still rattling around in my head, so I figure what the hell. That's what this blog is for, right? So be warned that this post is going to be unpleasant. Don't worry. I'm fine. Or I will be, once I get this crap out of my head.
I have a brother. I wrote about him recently. He's about 20 and he is of the artistic/moody type. He is a deep thinker and a deep feeler and he doesn't know what to do with all of it. So, he medicates himself with drugs and alcohol in an attempt to numb his brain, his emotions, his fears - I don't actually know what. He insists that everything is fine and he doesn't have a problem at the same time that he is inducing grand mal seizures in himself with his concoctions. He cuts himself off from the rest of the family (something I can almost relate to at times) and he holes up in the darkness, waiting for it to go away. All I can do is sit here waiting to see if he pulls himself out of it or if he gives up. It scares me and saddens me and pisses me off.
I have a mom. We have always been close, more like friends than mother/daughter. Not necessarily a good thing in most cases, but it worked for us. Until last summer. Suddenly, I was replaced by another in my role as confidant and supporter. I am not taking this well. If she has to cut a call short, I feel bad. When our conversations revolve around all her problems and rarely even touch on my life, I feel bad. When I have to fucking beg her to come to the hospital when I have surgery - I FEEL BAD. Most likely this has everything to do with my perception of things and nothing to do with my replacement, but every incident is adding more fuel to the fire. I have trouble talking to her because there are so many things I am not saying. It scares me and saddens me and pisses me off.
I have a personality. It causes me to immediately start thinking about what I can do to help when someone tells me about a problem, whether they have asked for help or not. My interactions with others end up focusing on their issues and my solutions. I need to stop. I can't take the stress and I'm tired of feeling like others are taking advantage of me. The reality is, they probably don't have any idea that I am taking their problems on as my own. 90% of the disagreements I have had with people in my adult life stem from this habit of mine. I need to stop being scared and sad and pissed off.
Okay. Now it is out. Frankly, I'm tired of worrying about all this shit. Time to go make dinner.
I have a brother. I wrote about him recently. He's about 20 and he is of the artistic/moody type. He is a deep thinker and a deep feeler and he doesn't know what to do with all of it. So, he medicates himself with drugs and alcohol in an attempt to numb his brain, his emotions, his fears - I don't actually know what. He insists that everything is fine and he doesn't have a problem at the same time that he is inducing grand mal seizures in himself with his concoctions. He cuts himself off from the rest of the family (something I can almost relate to at times) and he holes up in the darkness, waiting for it to go away. All I can do is sit here waiting to see if he pulls himself out of it or if he gives up. It scares me and saddens me and pisses me off.
I have a mom. We have always been close, more like friends than mother/daughter. Not necessarily a good thing in most cases, but it worked for us. Until last summer. Suddenly, I was replaced by another in my role as confidant and supporter. I am not taking this well. If she has to cut a call short, I feel bad. When our conversations revolve around all her problems and rarely even touch on my life, I feel bad. When I have to fucking beg her to come to the hospital when I have surgery - I FEEL BAD. Most likely this has everything to do with my perception of things and nothing to do with my replacement, but every incident is adding more fuel to the fire. I have trouble talking to her because there are so many things I am not saying. It scares me and saddens me and pisses me off.
I have a personality. It causes me to immediately start thinking about what I can do to help when someone tells me about a problem, whether they have asked for help or not. My interactions with others end up focusing on their issues and my solutions. I need to stop. I can't take the stress and I'm tired of feeling like others are taking advantage of me. The reality is, they probably don't have any idea that I am taking their problems on as my own. 90% of the disagreements I have had with people in my adult life stem from this habit of mine. I need to stop being scared and sad and pissed off.
Okay. Now it is out. Frankly, I'm tired of worrying about all this shit. Time to go make dinner.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Cool as a Cucumber
It turns out that when you don't care about the results of an interview, you perform your best. I decided that I wasn't going to look at is as them interviewing me. After all, I have a job. Instead, I looked at it as a chance to interview them. Much nicer. The observation went well, too. My kids were in fine form and I was calm and relaxed (still not caring much what they thought.) It went infinitely better than I imagined when I was lying awake at midnight on Saturday. :)
PS - When a teacher asks you what you think her number one priority in the classroom should be, "The students, of course!" is a great answer. Don't ruin it by clarifying, "Student achievement." Because those are two very different things.
PS - When a teacher asks you what you think her number one priority in the classroom should be, "The students, of course!" is a great answer. Don't ruin it by clarifying, "Student achievement." Because those are two very different things.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Viva La Mexico!
Mikey and I have just finalized our plans for a week long trip to La Paz, Mexico. In an attempt to really connect with the culture and the people, we are NOT getting an all inclusive resort package. Instead, we're going to expose ourselves to as much "real life" as we can. I can't wait!!
Big Sister stuff
My brother used to come to my room when he was little and he needed help in the night. You see, he would sometimes have asthma attacks that reduced his breathing to strangled gasps. We both slept on one end of the lower level, and it was much easier to get to me than to get all the way upstairs to my parents' room. I would calm him and help him to the cool night air that would allow him to breath more easily. It was most likely born of necessity, but it always made me feel special - needed - that he would wake me up first.
My brother is older now. Neither of us live at home and, since he doesn't have a phone, it is difficult for us to keep in touch. I worry about him constantly. When the phone rings at odd hours, my first thoughts are of him. I know that he's an adult now, and I know that he has to make his own mistakes and choices. I respect that, remembering how desperate I was to be treated as an adult at that age, but I can't help wishing that I was once again down the hall from him, ready to hold his hand as we face whatever nightmare is troubling him. If only so he would know that he isn't dealing with it alone.
My brother is older now. Neither of us live at home and, since he doesn't have a phone, it is difficult for us to keep in touch. I worry about him constantly. When the phone rings at odd hours, my first thoughts are of him. I know that he's an adult now, and I know that he has to make his own mistakes and choices. I respect that, remembering how desperate I was to be treated as an adult at that age, but I can't help wishing that I was once again down the hall from him, ready to hold his hand as we face whatever nightmare is troubling him. If only so he would know that he isn't dealing with it alone.
Again?
Last week, my fellow teachers and I were asked to vote on a proposed contract addendum. After two years without a cost of living raise and a serious slashing of our insurance benefits last year, we were being offered an increase retroactive to January. I'm not going to go into it too deeply - I don't want to be Dooced for my thoughts - but many of us weren't thrilled with the offer. As I mentioned before, we were working contract hours only, picketing, and trying to rally our parents behind us as we prepared to fight for a reasonable offer. At my school, people were geared up. We looked at this vote as a way to resoundingly show the district that we weren't going to fall for their retoric and we weren't going to be steamrolled.
Yesterday, I was told the results of the vote. The proposal was accepted by something like 52% of the teachers who voted. Once again, I am left shaking my head and wondering how there could be so many people who don't understand the consequences of their actions. We are supposed to be negotiating a whole new contract next year. The district now knows that they can do anything they want, and we will fall in line. We're screwed. It seems that this is how things are going on so many levels. Nationwide, unionwide, everywhere - I am part of a vocal and energetic minority that fails to change the mind of the complacent majority.
So, what does this mean for me? I'm not sure yet. I have already been informed that I might be relocated to a new school next year. They are opening two new schools and a percentage of our student population will be leaving us. I am one of the more recent hires, so potentially one of the transfers as things are rearranged. I am saddened at the thought of leaving my school and, more importantly, my team, but the worst part is that I don't just get moved. No, I have to INTERVIEW to keep my job. Because I am going to have to move, the principals needing teachers get to look me over, peering at my teeth and assessing the number of good years I have left in me. Okay - so that might be a bit melodramatic, but it offends me that I have to go through the interview/observation process as though I were fresh out of college, or worse, as though I hadn't been good enough to keep my last job. It is insulting.
As you know, I am not a fan of change. This is the worst situation possible for me because everything is up in the air. I MIGHT have to move. I MIGHT not. I have to live a double life of preparing for both possibilities. Ugh. And I have to do it with half a raise and crappy insurance, thanks to those who weren't willing to fight. Teaching in a public school setting - the only thing I have ever wanted to do - is slowly, but surely losing its appeal. Maybe their hiring at McDonald's?
Yesterday, I was told the results of the vote. The proposal was accepted by something like 52% of the teachers who voted. Once again, I am left shaking my head and wondering how there could be so many people who don't understand the consequences of their actions. We are supposed to be negotiating a whole new contract next year. The district now knows that they can do anything they want, and we will fall in line. We're screwed. It seems that this is how things are going on so many levels. Nationwide, unionwide, everywhere - I am part of a vocal and energetic minority that fails to change the mind of the complacent majority.
So, what does this mean for me? I'm not sure yet. I have already been informed that I might be relocated to a new school next year. They are opening two new schools and a percentage of our student population will be leaving us. I am one of the more recent hires, so potentially one of the transfers as things are rearranged. I am saddened at the thought of leaving my school and, more importantly, my team, but the worst part is that I don't just get moved. No, I have to INTERVIEW to keep my job. Because I am going to have to move, the principals needing teachers get to look me over, peering at my teeth and assessing the number of good years I have left in me. Okay - so that might be a bit melodramatic, but it offends me that I have to go through the interview/observation process as though I were fresh out of college, or worse, as though I hadn't been good enough to keep my last job. It is insulting.
As you know, I am not a fan of change. This is the worst situation possible for me because everything is up in the air. I MIGHT have to move. I MIGHT not. I have to live a double life of preparing for both possibilities. Ugh. And I have to do it with half a raise and crappy insurance, thanks to those who weren't willing to fight. Teaching in a public school setting - the only thing I have ever wanted to do - is slowly, but surely losing its appeal. Maybe their hiring at McDonald's?
Unrest
I had trouble falling asleep last night. Too many monsters living in my head and not enough pillows for them all. I finally had to get up and write some of them out. It seems that my brain is becoming too smart for itself. When I think "I don't have to write it down, I'll just remember it in the morning", I no longer fall for it. So, at about a quarter to twelve, I was sitting in the dimly lit living room, pouring my thoughts onto a yellow legal pad, in hopes that they would stay there. Thankfully, it worked and I was able to return to sleep about an hour later. Time to start keeping that legal pad by the bed, I think.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Ouch
What do you get when you combine a distractingly cute kitty with a dangerously pointed corner?
What a way to start the day.
What a way to start the day.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Paint me a Poster
Somewhere in my ramblings I learned of an online paint program. It allows for fun creations, but the best part is that you can play it back and watch your picture appear right in front of your eyes. Give it a try. And if you get something you feel like sharing - e-mail it to me. I wanna see!
I made a couple worth sharing.
This one is of some splatter art.
This is a picture of my baby, Bonsai.
Mikey also made some nice pictures. He's a much better artist than I.
Here is his version of Bonsai.
This one is Zazzy on my chair.
And here's Huzzah, upside.
I made a couple worth sharing.
This one is of some splatter art.
This is a picture of my baby, Bonsai.
Mikey also made some nice pictures. He's a much better artist than I.
Here is his version of Bonsai.
This one is Zazzy on my chair.
And here's Huzzah, upside.
WTF??
So many things to complain about...
Button Woes:
I opened my site this morning to find a huge, obnoxious button on the lower right, throwing everything out of wack. Initially, I suspected Blogger (forgive me, please?), but after some poking around, I learned that it was the ServUStats button. For some reason, they thought it would be okay for them to put that ugly ad on my page without asking first. Nope. They - and all their buttons - are now gone.
Wither the Weather:
It is raining again! Now, I admit that my expectations for CA weather are a little warped because we have been in serious drought for the 4 years I have lived here, but this is gettting rediculous. After meticulous research (read: after talking with my friends who have lived her longer than I) I have come up with the following numbers...
5 = average number of inches of rain yearly since I have lived here
13 = average number of inches of rain yearly
30 = number of inches of rain parts of CA have received SO FAR this year (they tell me that the rainy season is counted from start of July to end of June)
We've had some seriously schizophrenic weather. This morning I took this picture:
Literally two minutes later the rain had stopped and the sun was beating down on the backyard. Scary!
And finally...
With Friends Like These:
Remember a while back when the president of Harvard stuck his foot in his mouth at some something or another, saying that women just weren't built to be as good as men in the areas of math and science? (Having read the transcripts, I don't actually think he stuck his foot as far into his mouth as others think he did.) Well, in today's Washington Post there was an essay about it. I actually agreed with author Sally Quinn for the first few paragraphs.
What's bothering YOU these days?
PS - I would love to hear from you regarding your thoughts on Summers' speech. Was he out of line? Or was he bringing up questions that need to be answered?
Button Woes:
I opened my site this morning to find a huge, obnoxious button on the lower right, throwing everything out of wack. Initially, I suspected Blogger (forgive me, please?), but after some poking around, I learned that it was the ServUStats button. For some reason, they thought it would be okay for them to put that ugly ad on my page without asking first. Nope. They - and all their buttons - are now gone.
Wither the Weather:
It is raining again! Now, I admit that my expectations for CA weather are a little warped because we have been in serious drought for the 4 years I have lived here, but this is gettting rediculous. After meticulous research (read: after talking with my friends who have lived her longer than I) I have come up with the following numbers...
5 = average number of inches of rain yearly since I have lived here
13 = average number of inches of rain yearly
30 = number of inches of rain parts of CA have received SO FAR this year (they tell me that the rainy season is counted from start of July to end of June)
We've had some seriously schizophrenic weather. This morning I took this picture:
Literally two minutes later the rain had stopped and the sun was beating down on the backyard. Scary!
And finally...
With Friends Like These:
Remember a while back when the president of Harvard stuck his foot in his mouth at some something or another, saying that women just weren't built to be as good as men in the areas of math and science? (Having read the transcripts, I don't actually think he stuck his foot as far into his mouth as others think he did.) Well, in today's Washington Post there was an essay about it. I actually agreed with author Sally Quinn for the first few paragraphs.
The problem is that some of the women who heard what Larry Summers said did exactly what they are stereotypically criticized for doing. They got hysterical.Then things took a horrible turn.
What we know is that there are many more male mathematicians and scientists than there are female, both in the worlds of science and academia.
The question is why.
I for one would like to know the truth. If it should turn out, after careful scientific study, that men are hardwired to do better in math and science, I can handle it. It would certainly ease my mind about my own shortcomings in these areas. I'm serious.Um. Shut up? This woman should be embarrassed to admit things like this if they are true and should be blacklisted from womanhood for using such exaggerations to make this point if they are not. My 4th graders can add and subtract. He wasn't talking about ADDING AND SUBTRACTING. Good grief.
I can barely add and subtract...I took botany as my science requirement thinking it was flower arranging.
What's bothering YOU these days?
PS - I would love to hear from you regarding your thoughts on Summers' speech. Was he out of line? Or was he bringing up questions that need to be answered?
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Surprise
I have recently learned two things regarding kidney donation. One I was warned about and am just now experiencing firsthand. The other came as a surprise - unconvenient, but not horrible.
Before the surgery, I was told to expect some fatigue for several months afterward. It was explained to me that my body would be doing adjusting type things (mostly stregthening the remaining kidney) and it would take a certain amount of energy. Up until last week I thought they were wrong. I was feeling just fine without any extra napping or resting. However, when I caught this cold bug from my class, it proved that my system is still in recovery mode, whether I realized it or not. A simple headcold - something I would normally deal with for a couple of days and then send on its merry way - knocked me flat for a full week. Then, instead of going on to bother some other poor soul, it morphed into a wonderful sinus infection. Despite being on antibiotics for a full 48 hours (which would normally have me back to normal and forgetting to take my dosages), my head is still a pounding mess by 2:00 every afternoon. I am particularly surprised at how strongly this cold hit since Mikey - the human germ magnet - managed to get off scott free.
The second surprise happened when I went to the dentist on Monday. I guess that since I had a recent surgery that left small bits of what-have-you (clamps/staples) in me, I cannot have dental work done without either A) permission from my doctor or B) a round of "pre-med" antibiotics. This is because the bacteria released through a routine dental cleaning has been known to migrate to surgery spots and start infections. I had to reschedule my cleaning once again so the dental office can talk to the kidney office and work out what kind of precautions are necessary. I'm glad that my dentist is so concerned for the safety of my remaining kidney, but I'm a tad irritated that I have to wait until MAY for my cleaning.
It is particularly odd to have these little things pop up now that I am feeling 100% healed from the surgery. It is a little reminder that I will have to keep a closer watch on my health from now on. It is also a little (very little, I know) taste of what Amy goes through every day - needing to keep her health in mind every day, no matter how healthy she might feel.
Before the surgery, I was told to expect some fatigue for several months afterward. It was explained to me that my body would be doing adjusting type things (mostly stregthening the remaining kidney) and it would take a certain amount of energy. Up until last week I thought they were wrong. I was feeling just fine without any extra napping or resting. However, when I caught this cold bug from my class, it proved that my system is still in recovery mode, whether I realized it or not. A simple headcold - something I would normally deal with for a couple of days and then send on its merry way - knocked me flat for a full week. Then, instead of going on to bother some other poor soul, it morphed into a wonderful sinus infection. Despite being on antibiotics for a full 48 hours (which would normally have me back to normal and forgetting to take my dosages), my head is still a pounding mess by 2:00 every afternoon. I am particularly surprised at how strongly this cold hit since Mikey - the human germ magnet - managed to get off scott free.
The second surprise happened when I went to the dentist on Monday. I guess that since I had a recent surgery that left small bits of what-have-you (clamps/staples) in me, I cannot have dental work done without either A) permission from my doctor or B) a round of "pre-med" antibiotics. This is because the bacteria released through a routine dental cleaning has been known to migrate to surgery spots and start infections. I had to reschedule my cleaning once again so the dental office can talk to the kidney office and work out what kind of precautions are necessary. I'm glad that my dentist is so concerned for the safety of my remaining kidney, but I'm a tad irritated that I have to wait until MAY for my cleaning.
It is particularly odd to have these little things pop up now that I am feeling 100% healed from the surgery. It is a little reminder that I will have to keep a closer watch on my health from now on. It is also a little (very little, I know) taste of what Amy goes through every day - needing to keep her health in mind every day, no matter how healthy she might feel.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Photos with Isha
We usually take our walks in the afternoon, after school. This means that we get lots of interesting shots of backlit trees. I have discovered that these shots look best to me when done in black and white, especially with the amazing skies we have been having.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Photos with Isha
These are the hands that:
*keep me safe.
*hold me up.
*make me laugh.
*touch my face in just the right way.
*provide for me.
*accept what I can give.
*share the work.
Here, they are doing what they do best - providing a safe, loving place for someone to rest.
*keep me safe.
*hold me up.
*make me laugh.
*touch my face in just the right way.
*provide for me.
*accept what I can give.
*share the work.
Here, they are doing what they do best - providing a safe, loving place for someone to rest.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Photos with Isha
Ooops. I forgot to put up a photo. I have backdated this one for the correct day.
This is a picture I took from the car on our way home. We had breakfast with the Mikey's parents in a nearby town. Personally, I think this kind of false advertising has to stop.
This is a picture I took from the car on our way home. We had breakfast with the Mikey's parents in a nearby town. Personally, I think this kind of false advertising has to stop.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Just So's Ya Know
Some people tweak their chats to make them stick more closely to the point they are trying to make when they blog them. Not me. Those conversations were completely unedited. That is how amazingly clever and witty we both are in real life. With head colds,even. Impressed much?
Speaking of Being Sick...
me: lagging how...not producing?
her: hee hee, might have something to do with 4 of my drugs having insomnia as a side effect
her: yeah it takes longer for it [my darling kidney] to wash out all the fluid
her: I'm almost certain it's just the drug
her: but we are watching it pretty closley anyway
me: i'll have a chat with her...can't have her falling down on the job
me: not that she'll listen to me...you know how they are once they leave home...
her: it's got to be hard working when the whole body is in sick mode
me: no kidding
me: i was working on an equation the other day.
her: they are more likley to appreciate your advice once they leave home
her: what equation were you working on?
me: something about how the bodies energy level must be greater than or equal to the total of regular activity + recovery from illness activity + whatever the world throws at you on any given day
her: in that case I'm screwed
her: although I often balance the equation by lowering the regular activity because recovery from illness activity takes up most of what is allowed in the equation
me: i was trying to explain why i got knocked for a loop by a simple cold when normally they don't phase me. it's because my regular energy need is up as i bulk up the remaining kidney, my sick energy was already being tapped from an infection, and my energy income was low because of the diet i'm on.
me: seee...that's the trick
me: to tweak the equation where you can to balance the parts you can't help
her: yeah
her: in fact i"m doing that right now
her: if I were feeling well I would go and get a freezer and a card file and then go hang out at my store
me: but that would increase your RE needs...
her: yeah
her: and I'm not balancing the equation well as it is
her: the healing needs may outweigh the energy even if I don't add the other two things
me: is it YOU not balancing it well, or the fact that you have a fucked up equation to start with?
her: hee hee, I think it's the equation
me: so you gotta just do what you can
her: you have to factor drugs into both sides of the equation
her: it lowers both sides
her: which is nice on the healing side. . . not so nice on the energy side
me: and the energy income side can only be tweaked so much...if you up it too much you are just getting fat.
me: you = people
me: not you=you
her: hee hee
me: i gotta get some lunch...working on my EI, you know
her: hee hee, might have something to do with 4 of my drugs having insomnia as a side effect
her: yeah it takes longer for it [my darling kidney] to wash out all the fluid
her: I'm almost certain it's just the drug
her: but we are watching it pretty closley anyway
me: i'll have a chat with her...can't have her falling down on the job
me: not that she'll listen to me...you know how they are once they leave home...
her: it's got to be hard working when the whole body is in sick mode
me: no kidding
me: i was working on an equation the other day.
her: they are more likley to appreciate your advice once they leave home
her: what equation were you working on?
me: something about how the bodies energy level must be greater than or equal to the total of regular activity + recovery from illness activity + whatever the world throws at you on any given day
her: in that case I'm screwed
her: although I often balance the equation by lowering the regular activity because recovery from illness activity takes up most of what is allowed in the equation
me: i was trying to explain why i got knocked for a loop by a simple cold when normally they don't phase me. it's because my regular energy need is up as i bulk up the remaining kidney, my sick energy was already being tapped from an infection, and my energy income was low because of the diet i'm on.
me: seee...that's the trick
me: to tweak the equation where you can to balance the parts you can't help
her: yeah
her: in fact i"m doing that right now
her: if I were feeling well I would go and get a freezer and a card file and then go hang out at my store
me: but that would increase your RE needs...
her: yeah
her: and I'm not balancing the equation well as it is
her: the healing needs may outweigh the energy even if I don't add the other two things
me: is it YOU not balancing it well, or the fact that you have a fucked up equation to start with?
her: hee hee, I think it's the equation
me: so you gotta just do what you can
her: you have to factor drugs into both sides of the equation
her: it lowers both sides
her: which is nice on the healing side. . . not so nice on the energy side
me: and the energy income side can only be tweaked so much...if you up it too much you are just getting fat.
me: you = people
me: not you=you
her: hee hee
me: i gotta get some lunch...working on my EI, you know
Good to have someone who understands...
me: ugh. my sinuses is buggin me
me: i am so sick of blowing my nose that i could just scream
her: he hee I know how you feel
me: and someone is messing with the volume dial of the world...little stupid noises are super loud and hurt my head and the stuff i want to hear like the tv or mikey are coming from somewhere underground
me: okay
me: i'm done whining
her: I know that feeling well too
her: although right now mine is more coughing stuff up
her: which is pretty disgusting too
me: don't you just love it when you cough and something comes up and smacks against the roof of your mouth. hehe
me: sorry...that was gross
her: ha ha ha, I have a five year old that is tame compared the things I'm told about
me: i am so sick of blowing my nose that i could just scream
her: he hee I know how you feel
me: and someone is messing with the volume dial of the world...little stupid noises are super loud and hurt my head and the stuff i want to hear like the tv or mikey are coming from somewhere underground
me: okay
me: i'm done whining
her: I know that feeling well too
her: although right now mine is more coughing stuff up
her: which is pretty disgusting too
me: don't you just love it when you cough and something comes up and smacks against the roof of your mouth. hehe
me: sorry...that was gross
her: ha ha ha, I have a five year old that is tame compared the things I'm told about
Photos with Isha
I am going to try to start putting a picture up regularly. Today's picture is from the display stand in front of the nearby drugstore. Daffodils always make me think of Alice in Wonderland - you know the part where she's in the White Queen's garden and the flowers are all talking to her? I half expected these little guys to start hollering because I was disturbing their sunny snooze.
Valentine's Day?
Here at Casa del Sol, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We are both of the "It's nothing but a Hallmark Holiday" crowd, and besides - how meaningful is your proclamation of love if it is made under the "everyone's doing it" influence? So, we ignore Feb. 14.
How about you? Are you a bah-humbug like me? Do you go the whole nine yards, complete with flowers and chocolate and teddy bears with clever phrases on their bellies? Who doesn't love Love, after all. Or are you somewhere in between, just grateful that there is one day where people won't think you a slacker if you take off early to catch some face time with your sigoth?
I will be at the dentist on Valentine's Day. What will YOU be doing? More importantly - are you doing it because you want to, or because you don't want to take up permanent residence in the doghouse?
And finally, if you will allow me to go off on a tangent, what OTHER holidays do you ignore? Personally - I wouldn't notice if St. Patrick's day fell off the face of the calendar. But I've never been a fan of throwing up - green or otherwise.
How about you? Are you a bah-humbug like me? Do you go the whole nine yards, complete with flowers and chocolate and teddy bears with clever phrases on their bellies? Who doesn't love Love, after all. Or are you somewhere in between, just grateful that there is one day where people won't think you a slacker if you take off early to catch some face time with your sigoth?
I will be at the dentist on Valentine's Day. What will YOU be doing? More importantly - are you doing it because you want to, or because you don't want to take up permanent residence in the doghouse?
And finally, if you will allow me to go off on a tangent, what OTHER holidays do you ignore? Personally - I wouldn't notice if St. Patrick's day fell off the face of the calendar. But I've never been a fan of throwing up - green or otherwise.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
A Message
I'm not sure who this message is for...but it has been in my head for days now and I feel as thought the only way to get it out is to share it, hopefully with the person for whom it is meant.
"Love is how it's lost,
not how it's found."
~Azure Ray
This is from a song that I hear often, but I can't at the moment figure out which one. Anyway, if this message is for you, I hope you know what to do with it. Peace.
ps - thanks to Mikey for helping me figure out the artist
pps - it turns out the lyrics are exactly the opposite of what I originally thought. makes the message a bit sadder...but I guess I should pass it along anyway.
"Love is how it's lost,
not how it's found."
~Azure Ray
ps - thanks to Mikey for helping me figure out the artist
pps - it turns out the lyrics are exactly the opposite of what I originally thought. makes the message a bit sadder...but I guess I should pass it along anyway.
Good Neeeeeeews Everyone!
Last night, at about 11:30, I woke up wondering why I had thought I needed to wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants to bed under my down comforter. I broke out the ol' thermometer and discovered that my temp had indeed returned to normal. (Which for me is slightly abnormal - I tend to run at about 97.6. Yesterday, I was up around 98.9.)
My sinuses are still killing me and I am still staying home from work, but I am feeling way better than I did yesterday. There will be lots of sleeping and playing of video games while I continue my recovery. Now, we just have to hope that Mikey doesn't get sick. He would NOT enjoy having what I had.
My sinuses are still killing me and I am still staying home from work, but I am feeling way better than I did yesterday. There will be lots of sleeping and playing of video games while I continue my recovery. Now, we just have to hope that Mikey doesn't get sick. He would NOT enjoy having what I had.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
And the winner is...
...anyone who predicted that I would pull a muscle in my stomach blowing my nose before school even started, develop a slight fever, and end up back at home halfway through the day!
Thanks for playing!
Seriously, I don't think I have been this sick in a long time. I just don't get bad colds. Usually, I get a stuffy nose, take a few Sudafeds, and get over it. It is always something I can work through, albeit uncomfortably. Not this time. Right now, my nasal passages hurt like I have been cleaning them out with barbed wire, and my whole head feels like it is going to explode. I have already called in sick for tomorrow and I am not at all sure that I will be returning by Friday. Please send all the healing vibes you can spare.
Thanks for playing!
Seriously, I don't think I have been this sick in a long time. I just don't get bad colds. Usually, I get a stuffy nose, take a few Sudafeds, and get over it. It is always something I can work through, albeit uncomfortably. Not this time. Right now, my nasal passages hurt like I have been cleaning them out with barbed wire, and my whole head feels like it is going to explode. I have already called in sick for tomorrow and I am not at all sure that I will be returning by Friday. Please send all the healing vibes you can spare.
Pushing My Luck
I present to you now, the opportunity to say "I told you so!" in the near future. I am going to work today, despite the fact that I am coughing, mouth-breathing, and popping Tylenol like Jelly Beans. All because my favorite sub is unavailable. I just need to make it through today. Then, either I will be better (hopefully), or she can take over again. Now is your chance to make predictions about the rest of the week.
My Prediction:
By the end of the day, I will be unable to speak above a whisper, but it will be okay, because the kids will be great listeners.
Your turn.
My Prediction:
By the end of the day, I will be unable to speak above a whisper, but it will be okay, because the kids will be great listeners.
Your turn.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
cough, hack, snarl - the second coming
Dear Karma,
Please forgive me for assuming that my kids would do something to upset me yesterday. I made an ass of myself, I know. There is no need to punish me further by taking away my voice and thickening the mucus that keeps running down my throat. I recognize that they were on their very best behavior and that I owe them something wonderful (How does 5 minutes of extra recess sound?), so can you please lift this brain fog (or is it Nyquil fog?) and allow me to return to my normal routine of eating, sleeping, and working? Pretty please? I have learned my lesson and I promise to never assume the worst about my darlings again.
Peace,
Soleil
PS - Thanks for having my favorite sub available today. :)
Please forgive me for assuming that my kids would do something to upset me yesterday. I made an ass of myself, I know. There is no need to punish me further by taking away my voice and thickening the mucus that keeps running down my throat. I recognize that they were on their very best behavior and that I owe them something wonderful (How does 5 minutes of extra recess sound?), so can you please lift this brain fog (or is it Nyquil fog?) and allow me to return to my normal routine of eating, sleeping, and working? Pretty please? I have learned my lesson and I promise to never assume the worst about my darlings again.
Peace,
Soleil
PS - Thanks for having my favorite sub available today. :)
Monday, February 07, 2005
cough, hack, snarl
Think good thoughts for me today. I am not feeling much better than I was yesterday, but I am not feeling bad enough to take a sick day (esp. since I have none left!), so I am going to try to teach my bunch with a sore throat and a limited sense of humor. Wish me luck, but mostly send good vibes for my kiddos who will have to put up with me all day even though none of this is their fault. :)
Sunday, February 06, 2005
One Moment
This afternoon, I sat in my dining room, sipping hot tea to soothe my throat. As I sat, I listened to the quiet of my house, broken only by the trickle of the fishtank. The light slowly bled out of the room as the sun dropped behind the mountains. For one short moment I felt like an adult. For some reason, this left me feeling sad. I'm sure both feelings will pass soon.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
And now, a word from our whiner.
I have been feeling pretty good lately. They told me I would be tired for several months after the sugery, but I only notice this at about 7:30 each night, when my body says, "Bed Time!" and goes into Automatic Shut Down Mode. I am able to get up at 6:30 each morning with no problem, and I don't feel worn out during the day. Unfortunately, that is currently being put to the ultimate test. Despite the many times I am growling, "Cover your mouth when you sneeze! I don't want your germs!", I think one of the urchins passed on a bug. I woke up during the night with a sore throat and my stomach turned on me shortly after that. I spent the day reading and dozing and reading and napping and the resting to recover from it all. I think I have whipped my tummy back into shape - behaviorally, not literally - as I was able to finish a bowl of Ramen soup, but my throat is still a little tickly. I just hope I can get to sleep tonight!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Lovely Lawn
We have indeed decided to cancel our gym membership in favor of:
1) going for a walk every day with our camera in hand, and
2) using the money to pay for someone to take care of our lawn for us.
I know, we are lazy, fat, disgusting Americans and we should be ashamed of ourselves, but MY LAWN GOT MOWED TODAY. For the first time in...let's just say months, and leave it at that.
And, no, I don't need to hear about how you would all just LOVE to be mowing your lawns if they weren't under 16 feet of snow. I know and I am sorry. :)
1) going for a walk every day with our camera in hand, and
2) using the money to pay for someone to take care of our lawn for us.
I know, we are lazy, fat, disgusting Americans and we should be ashamed of ourselves, but MY LAWN GOT MOWED TODAY. For the first time in...let's just say months, and leave it at that.
And, no, I don't need to hear about how you would all just LOVE to be mowing your lawns if they weren't under 16 feet of snow. I know and I am sorry. :)
Can I Just Tell You?
Have you ever noticed how certain people use certain phrases often enough that they become eternally connected in your mind? Some phrases that make me think of specific people...
"Can I just tell you..." - my best bud at school uses this one all the time. It is cute.
"I was SOOOOO mad." - This is my sister 110%. She used to say this all the time as a teenager and we used to all tease her about it. I hope she knows it was because it was funny, not because we were making fun of her.
"...on the whole entire face of the world." - My pal from college used to say this all the time and it would drive me crazy. There is just something wrong about it. I can't pinpoint what exactly, but it's not right.
"So, here's the thing..." - I'm not sure which of us started it, but this is a very common phrase in our house. It is always followed by, "So, what's the thing?" Always.
What are the phrases that instantly bring a face to your mind? What's the story behind them?
"Can I just tell you..." - my best bud at school uses this one all the time. It is cute.
"I was SOOOOO mad." - This is my sister 110%. She used to say this all the time as a teenager and we used to all tease her about it. I hope she knows it was because it was funny, not because we were making fun of her.
"...on the whole entire face of the world." - My pal from college used to say this all the time and it would drive me crazy. There is just something wrong about it. I can't pinpoint what exactly, but it's not right.
"So, here's the thing..." - I'm not sure which of us started it, but this is a very common phrase in our house. It is always followed by, "So, what's the thing?" Always.
What are the phrases that instantly bring a face to your mind? What's the story behind them?
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Ritualistic Reading
When I get my Sun magazine, I always read it the same way. There is ritual to be followed and routine to be taken up when I see that stark black and white photo waiting for me.
First, I read through the Letters to the Editor, tallying in my head how many are heaping praise and how many are throwing stones. Often, I have no recollection of the articles to which they refer, but I am drawn to these bits of personal response none-the-less. I suspect that I am checking to see if I measure up as a "normal" Sun reader.
Next, I search out the Readers Write section. No matter what the topic, I am always amazed at the width and depth of human emotion. A single word or phrase causing so many varied thoughts. Usually, my mind boggles at the pain and sorrow that fill this world. It is a constant reminder that my life has been much easier than most.
Finally, I skim through the Sunbeams on the back page, letting them catch my eye as they will. Each month, I am newly surprised to find that the quotes are related to the Readers Write topic. It is always the ones expressing hope or joy that float in my head for the next few days.
After completing this ritual, I flip backwards through the remainder of the magazine. I read nearly all the fiction, but rarely do I stop for the poetry or the interview. Oddly enough, it's those, the meat and potatoes of the magazine, that I feel I should be reading, while I feel guilty for enjoying the voyeuristic letters and the quotes swallowed in handfuls like popcorn.
Although I am sure that there are others who get much more from Mr. Safransky's magazine, I am just glad to be given a brief peek into the reality that is our collective being. I am happy to be comforted by the routine of connecting - if in a disconnected way - with those around me.
First, I read through the Letters to the Editor, tallying in my head how many are heaping praise and how many are throwing stones. Often, I have no recollection of the articles to which they refer, but I am drawn to these bits of personal response none-the-less. I suspect that I am checking to see if I measure up as a "normal" Sun reader.
Next, I search out the Readers Write section. No matter what the topic, I am always amazed at the width and depth of human emotion. A single word or phrase causing so many varied thoughts. Usually, my mind boggles at the pain and sorrow that fill this world. It is a constant reminder that my life has been much easier than most.
Finally, I skim through the Sunbeams on the back page, letting them catch my eye as they will. Each month, I am newly surprised to find that the quotes are related to the Readers Write topic. It is always the ones expressing hope or joy that float in my head for the next few days.
After completing this ritual, I flip backwards through the remainder of the magazine. I read nearly all the fiction, but rarely do I stop for the poetry or the interview. Oddly enough, it's those, the meat and potatoes of the magazine, that I feel I should be reading, while I feel guilty for enjoying the voyeuristic letters and the quotes swallowed in handfuls like popcorn.
Although I am sure that there are others who get much more from Mr. Safransky's magazine, I am just glad to be given a brief peek into the reality that is our collective being. I am happy to be comforted by the routine of connecting - if in a disconnected way - with those around me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
