Can't Talk Now

Much Too Busy!

Good grief! This "end of the school year" thing is insane. If it weren't for the promise of summer and sleeping in 8 weeks in a row, I would be tempted to forego it completely and just keep this year continuing indefinitely. Between Colonial Daze Days, Open House, a second field trip, upcoming Promotion Ceremonies, State testing, District testing, and the general "high" that kids get this time of year, it is all I can do to keep up with it. My weekends are filled with a frantic (and, let's face it, foolish) attempt to catch up with the grading that has piled up all week and my weeks are filled with CHAOS (see aforementioned list).
This past week I was at school by 7:30 Monday through Thursday due to tutoring and meetings. This means that I have to leave home by 6:45. This means that I have to get up by 5:45. This means that I am drooling into the couch cushions by about 7:45 each evening.
As if things weren't crazy enough* with all these meetings and projects and events, we have been presented with a further challenge. Can you teach without making any copies? Yes, our copy numbers have been limited to 2 copies per student per day. Let me do some quick calculating here...field trip permission slips...math homework...test review activities...grading sheets for the colonial project...and the book report...and the persuasive essay... Yep. I think I am going to be going slightly over that. And I am not counting the number of things I have to replace after someone stuffs it under the backseat in the car and loses it. THREE TIMES. ugh.
On the home front, things are much calmer. The dogs are being schooled by the cats - through the window, of course. The trees are leafing out very nicely. The husband is working hard (when he isn't playing hard). The car treats me as well as can be expected when gas costs $3.26/gal. I am counting down the weeks before I get to spend my time lounging in the hammock, rather than rshing frantically from one end of school to the other.

It's Foggy Out

And I have a grey kitty on my lap. :)

I don't have anything to say...just wanted to post something new. Hmmm...

Today is my last day of vacation. Time to head back to work. I think I have recharged enough for the final push to the end of the year.

Yesterday I was lying in the hammock and Mia climbed right in with me. We would have been very happy floating in the sunshine together if it weren't for poor Trooper deciding he wanted to join us. Three in the hammock is just too much.

Speaking of dogs, I am trying to teach them that the cats are off-limits. Yesterday, I kenneled the dogs and then opened the window to the cat-run. Only Bonsai was brave enough to venture out in the face of a barking black dog, but I think we are making some progress. This morning Troop spent quite a bit of time watching the cats through the window without actually jumping at them. He kept looking at me like "Is this what you want? I don't get it, but I'm trying." Hopefully, we can get to the point that the cats can be in their cat-run while the dogs are in the yard and everyone leaves everyone else alone. That may just be wishful thinking on my part, though.

We have everything we need for the garden fence now. Provided that it doesn't rain today, we will be finishing that up and putting the seedlings outside. I bought some plastic to cover them if it gets too chilly, but I am hoping that we've gotten frost out of our system here for awhile. It was beautiful yesterday and warm enough so that I went out in shorts for several hours.

Busy Girl

I love it when I get things done.

(Weird...while I was typing that last sentence, my internal voice read it just like the journal entries at the end of Doogie Howser, MD were always read...wierd.)

Anyway. Like I was saying, getting things done makes me feel good. Perhaps this is because I spend a remarkable amount of time not accomplishing anything. If it's not something that is going to affect someone else (work, an appointment, etc.) it just doesn't get done. Proof of this is taking up space in our garage in the form of gutter pieces that STILL aren't attached to the house.

Vacation time is the worst as far as accomplishing things because I am really good at convincing myself that I have "earned" the right to sit and do nothing (ie: read, watch tv, play video games) while the chores go undone. Not this time. Well, okay. Not in the last 48 hours. Recently, I have worked on the fencing to our garden, cleaned the kitchen, worked on our taxes (nothing like the last minute!), cleaned the entire garage, washed and folded several loads of laundry, planned for school up to the second to last week, AND played more hours of Animal Crossing that is good for me. I've been busy!

Speaking of the garden. It is almost ready for me to bring the seedlings out. It is silly to call them seedlings though, most of them have refused to come out. So far, I have one spindly little bean (I'm talking two leaves, about 4 inches tall), several very short beans, a bunch of super skinny broccoli, 3 corn plants, and a plethora of seeds that have sprouted (I can see the bumps in the soil dirt sand) but refuse to poke their heads above ground. I'm hoping that sticking them outside will inspire them to sally forth. (Hence the fence - I don't want the rabbits to eat these seedlings I can't get to grow! I am afraid my garden is going to be quite pathetic this year.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. We worked hard on Tuesday morning to put up half the fence. Wednesday, it rained so hard I thought the roof was going to cave in and then hailed hard enough to completely cover the yard with pellets of ice. We're talking completely white and still clumped all over the yard this morning when I went walking with the dogs. What is with this weather? It's like every time I start to think about gardening I get punished by the Weather Witches. You think it's SPRING? HA! I'll show you! cackle cackle

I refuse to be cowed this time. Tomorrow, we are getting more posts for the fencing and by the time I go back to school that garden will be contained. The planties are heading out of doors for reals. Take THAT, you weather witches!

Gone and Back Again

I'm home!

What? You didn't know I was gone? I guess that is my fault. I am updating way too infrequently these days.

Regardless, I am back from my little jaunt to the midwest, feeling as though I have added some super glue to a few of my most important bonds. Although the impetus for the trip wasn't the most cheerful (memorial for grandma), I crammed as much visiting into the few short days that I possibly could.

I spent two of those days up to my elbows in niece and nephews. That was the best. I worry that they are going to forget about me when it gets so long in between visits and the last time I saw them was their mother's wedding - they were a little preoccupied. This time, I got to play Uno and tell jokes and wrestle and snuggle and read and bask in the sheer energy of them. They are growing up so, so fast. L is already reading quite well and blew me away with her logical and organized thinking. She's got a pile of brains, she does. D is adding and subtracting ("Give me a plus up to 30, Auntie Solee!") He has the sweetest way of saying my name that just makes my heart melt. For such a little pistol, he is awfully charming. Little R is the easiest, snuggliest baby I have ever met. This was the first time he was really old enough to understand who I was and he gave me one of those baby hugs where they wrap their arms around your neck and smoosh their soft cheeks up against yours. Aaah. I think my place as Most Revered Auntie is once again safe.

I also got to see my baby brother (He's almost 20!!) and meet his girlfriend. He looks like he is thriving on college and football and love. He's a happy camper these days and I am thrilled to see it. I can't believe this is the same kid I used to wrestle to the floor where I would tickle him until he cried. I coudn't wrestle him to the floor if my life depended on it now!

My other brother also made an appearance. I am always so torn up when I see him. Part of me is just so happy to be with him, able to hug him for myself and see that he's still around. Another part of me wants to smack him for scaring me so much all the time. It leaves me awkward and tongue-tied around him. I don't want to tick him off with my big sister lecturing and I don't want to embarrass him with my gushing. I think I need to get him out here for a week of "just us" time. Give us time to talk but not pressure him by cramming it all into one evening. I did love seeing how he put up with the kiddos crawling all over him. They love him and he loves them. You can see that plain as day.

My mom and I got to spend several hours talking together, something we haven't done in a while. Sunday morning, we went through tons of photos of grandma and grandpa and us kids as, well, kids. We found lots of beautiful pictures of grandma and made a couple of posters to have up for the memorial. I learned quite a bit of family history that morning. The actual memorial was very laid back and pleasant. I think grandma would have been pleased.

Things with mom's husband were going fairly well too. I still get the distinct feeling that he would rather not have me around, but I feel like I tried to be polite and friendly. Mom thought things went smoothly, for the most part, and that is what really matters. I don't want to be adding any negativity to her life.

All in all, it was a very nice trip and I am grateful that I got the chance to take it. My only regret is not being able to see the northern WI members of the clan. I promise, it will happen soon.

Ponderance

Why do I hate the repetative chores at my house so very much (dishes, kitty litter, toilets, laundry) while my favorite video games pretty much boil down to making someone do repetative chores (Sims-dishes,cleaning,etc. Animal Crossing-fishing,gathering shells,picking fruit Harvest Moon-gardening,caring for animals)? Why can I spend hours gathering cherries and selling them to the Farmer's Market? It's the same 30 second action OVER and OVER and OVER again. At least doing the dishes gives some physical reward. I dunno.

It's SPRING

At the very least, it is my spring break. It doesn't feel real yet, but tomorrow, when I don't have to get ready to go to work and I can lounge around all day, it will be wonderful! Two whole weeks to myself. Ahhh.

Finally

After a month and a half of hoping for someone to give the puppies, Trooper and Mia, a wonderful home, the waiting is over. The new owners are patient and loving. They are childless, giving much of their attention to their pets. Their home is on a couple of acres, all nicely fenced in, with lots of room to run and dig. They are planning to build a special kennel for the dogs to sleep in at night, complete with protection from winter rain and summer sun. The husband is home during the day to give them attention if necessary and the wife is willing to work on training them. They will have someone to walk with twice a day. The dogs will be well-fed, well-cared for, and well-loved. We have found the perfect place for them.

Where?

With us, of course. My puppies are finally, officially, MY puppies. When I walk out the back door and hollar, "Where's mah dogs?" I am not just pretending. :)

I have to thank Mikey for agreeing to this, despite his misgivings. I will make it work.

Letting Go

When I was born, my grandmother showed up, as grandmothers are wont to do upon the birth of their first grandchild, at my parents' doorstep, to help with the daily household chores as my mother got used to being, well, my mother. As the story has been told to me, she ended up being my first babysitter whenever my mom needed to grab a few minutes of that precious parental commodity - sleep. Being a bit preoccupied with this new thing called "life", I can't pass judgement on her ability to cook, clean, or make conversation during that trip, but the last 27 (yipes, nearly 28) years has been a tribute to the bond that we made during those first few weeks.

Despite having half a continent between us for a majority of those years, we have remained as close as ever. Annual visits to her home in Washington were a favored vacation when I was young. While I was in high school, there were a few brief years when I could see her on a daily basis, often staying at her house overnight after a dance or popping by for dinner before theater rehearsal. In college, I could count on her to send me a monthly gift - often just what I needed to keep my checkbook in the black or keep myself stocked with Ramen soup and peanut butter. We eventually traded places - Grandma in the midwest and myself on the West Coast - but continued to keep in touch with monthly, and eventually weekly, phone calls. No amount of distance could prevent us from sharing the events of our lives.

I have often battled with a sense of guilt despite this closeness. As the eldest grandchild, I grew up with a sense of obligation. My grandmother was there for my first days. In my innocent youth, unable to conceive of a life outside of my immediate family, I made a commitment to myself. When grandma needed someone to be there for her, when she could no longer handle things on her own, I would be the one to care for her. We would share her cozy little house by the park, and I would make sure her last days were as comfortable and supported as she made my first. At some point I realized that my life was changing. I had a boyfriend, then a husband. A job. A home of my own. Suddenly, the day arrived when she needed help and I was thousands of miles away. My childhood commitment went unfulfilled.

A while back, my grandmother moved from her home to an assisted living apartment and finally into a nursing home. Her confusion and general weakness made it unsafe for her to be unsupervised. Although she was frustrated by the betrayal of her own body and mind, she seemed to adjust well to her new surroundings.

Early this afternoon, my grandmother died. The relationship that started as she held the infant me to her chest reached its physical end today. I will never again hug her frail frame or hear her wavery laughter over the phone. My memory of her weathered face, white curls, and sparkling eyes at my sister's wedding this past summer will be my last. But there is no distance, earthly or not, that can change the closeness we have. I will feel her courage and strength with me every time I speak up for someone without a voice. I will be echoing her dedication to my grandfather every time Mike and I celebrate an anniversary. I will hear her whisper "Honey, I am just SO proud of you!" with every accomplishment.

Goodbye, Grandma. I hope you are happy and comfortable wherever you are now. I hope that you are once again strong and healthy, celebrating with those you have missed for so many years now. I will see you again some day. In the meantime - I will think of you often and love you always and forever.

Peace be with you.

2 Feet, Easily!

It has been snowing all day, so despite the above freezing temps, we still have 2 feet of snow in our yard. The dogs have been bounding around in it, thoroughly enjoying themselves. I have been alternating between the cozy warmth of my living room and the windy excitement of my winter wonderland. I thought I would share some pictures:

First, you can see what it looked like yesterday shortly after the snow started. When I left for work in the morning things were brown and dusty like usual. Mike said that nothing was really sticking to the ground until the afternoon.



Then it started snowing like it meant it.



This morning, everything was covered with a thick, heavy blanket of white. The dog kennel looked particularly pretty.



The redshank bushes were all bowed under the weight of all that sticky snow. The whole place looked different. We finally realized that it was because we could see over the bushes in places we normally can't. I am somewhat concerned that we are going to have lots of broken branches when this is over, but I guess that isn't the end of the world.



Since there are some things you never outgrow, I immediately felt the need to make a snowangel. Trooper was eager to "help".



I knew the cats would be facinated by the snow, so I brought some in for them to explore. Mostly, they just glared at it from across the room. Ollie was the brave one. He dug into it a little and chased the mini-snowballs I threw for him.



In the afternoon, I decided to make a snowman. It was so much fun that I built him a snowdog to take for a walk. The real dogs were quite confused by my interest in this particular patch of snow and took to licking the snow creatures. I had to repair the snowdog's nose after Mia took a nibble off of it!



I am so glad that I have kept my flannel-lined jeans, Steeger mukluks, and choppers handy despite the SoCal location. I am putting them to good use this year!

Holy Cow!

I hoped that there would be snow left this morning to play in, but I had no idea there would be this much! The snow is more than a foot deep out there - I watched Mia run past and you can't see her legs! It is about 30 degrees right now and you can tell be the way that the Redshank brush is sagging that that snow is HEAVY. It is still coming down fast and steady. I guess we won't be going anywhere this weekend! California doesn't have the resources to get her roads cleared off the way Minnesota does. Not that I mind. I'm liking the excuse to sit in my warm house, sipping hot cocoa, and reading my book. In fact, I think I will start that right now. See ya!

Grandma News

My mother's mother had a stroke yesterday at about lunch time. She exhibited the classic signs: slurred speech, drooping facial features, and inhibited motor movements on the left side. My mom and the doctor decided to try a newer drug which basically dissolves blood clots. It can be somewhat risky, since it doesn't differentiate between dangerous clots and beneficial ones. Within a few minutes of administration, grandma was looking better and by last night she was back to raising trouble for the nursing home staff. I have been told that she is still in some danger (injuries unable to clot for a day or so, blood vessels in her brain which were injured could simply give way), she is pretty much recovered from it. Since I didn't hear anything today, I am assuming the best for her. Please keep her in your thoughts.

The Return

It is snowing again! This evening, I drove the last 2 miles to the house through rain, slush, and finally actual standing snow. Cresting the hill to see the entire valley covered in a blanket of white was a beautiful way to start my weekend. I am hoping it is still around tomorrow, so I can go play in it!

The Classic Combo of Werewolves and Pudding

Driving home I had several thoughts and I jotted down reminders about them, so here I am remembering them!

1. I was listening to a great station (I'm still not sure what it is called, but they have some awesome programming) and their news update came on. The tidbits went something like this:

blah blah protesters being doused with flammable liquid in country Y blah blah government taking away civil rights in country X blah blah blah new diseases found to be destroying animal N blah blah blah study shows risk of cancer Z is up blah blah blah air pollution rating in city W at all time high blah blah blah bus filled with children and old people attacked by people irrate over the change in time of their favorite sitcom blah blah blah

Okay. I admit I made up that last one, but the rest are all based on fact. There was not ONE single piece of good news reported. This place is going to hell in a rocket powered handbasket. And yet, I don't just give up and crawl into the mountains to die. I credit the 10 year olds.

2. You know how those low-rider jeans are really short from crotch to waist? And you know how some people think they look sexy when they wear them, when in fact their butts just look twice as wide? Well, tonight I was driving behind a truck that looked just like that. I know those people thought their mega-wide truck made them look cool, but they just looked twice as dumb.

3. International Women's Day. Today is our day. I would like to thank the women in my life who are a constant inspiration to me. For Mom, Kathy, Verena, Shanta, Lexi, Sue, Julie, Nicole, Gramma Jeanne, Gramma Ann, Gramma Lorraine, Gramma Mary, Kate, Lynn, Raya, Amy, Sandy, Tori, Sarah, Amber, Maria, Julia, Kakey, Cindy, Ann, Patty, Kathy, Kelly, Pam, and all the other women who touch my life in unknown ways every day:
Thank you for your strength, your fragility, your pride, your fears, your confidence, your concern, your comfort, your love, your anger, your cooperation, and your serenity.

More Games to Play at Home

As I mentioned before, we have a surprising number of food items in our cupboard that are a mystery to me. How did they get there? If I bought them, WHY?? And what the heck are we going to do with them? Play a game, of course!

Each night we are drawing the name of one of these items from a hat. That item must be featured in the evening meal in some fashion. We may not buy non-essential food items until these things are used up. Some foods on our list:

* 4 boxes of pudding
* cous-cous
* slightly shriveled potatoes
* a package of some noodle stroganoff thing
* two different bread crumb items, one of which is Japanese
* a small bag of dried, refried beans
* wheat bran
* stuffing from a box
* two different flavors of rice-a-roni
* wild rice (I like it, but it takes FOREVER to cook)
* Cream of Wheat (only edible in the form of dumplings)

We should be having some interesting meals in the near future!

Question

I have made a mistake with the training of the dogs that I am currently trying to rectify. When they were jumping on me or the door or the fence, I told them to "Get Down". They are starting to get it, which would be great except that (as my recent research into training has taught me) now I have nothing left for telling them to Lie Down. I should have been saying "Get Off", making "Off" the important word. This morning when I tried to get Trooper to "Lie Down" he got totally confused and thought he was in trouble. He would sit fine, but when I asked him to "Lie Down" using the internet approved training method (have him sit, lower the cookie in front of him until in a lying position) he would lower his head, but raise his hind end. I physically got him into a lying position a couple of times, but that is when he starts thinking he's being punished.

So my question kind of has two prongs...

1. Do you have any suggestions on wording I can use to teach him to Lie Down without using the word down?

2. Or, if I am going to have to reteach this word, do you have any strategies for teaching him to keep his butt on the ground and actually lie prone?

Really, I shouldn't be trying for Lie Down yet, since he only has a tentative grasp of Off, Sit, and Stay. He is very good at coming when he is called, though. Or when Mia is called. Or when the neighbor's dog is called! :)

Life in Haikus

6 a.m.

glowing coral clouds,
cheeks ruddy with winter chill
shades of morning red

---

Peaceful

I wake with the sun.
The world blinks sleep from its eyes.
So starts a new day.

---

Training Trooper

He's calm by my side,
loyal, his collar jangles
softly - No! Get down!

---

Oliver

Cat in the window,
sleep peacefully in the sun.
Puff up! There's a dog.

---

evanescence

frost turns all to white
my name etched in the window
its melting away

---

Why?

war, pain, dispair, greed,
so much anger. i place my
hope in 10 year olds.

So Much to Say, So Little Time

I have had oodles of interesting thoughts lately, but all of my time has been consumed by testing and grading and writing out report cards. The end of second trimester is just about my least favorite time of year, especially since district officials, in their infinite wisdom, keep adding new tests and new BS paperwork. I might not have made it through Wednesday if it weren't for that amazing, caffinated rice crispie bar that arrived at my classroom door just before 9 a.m. (a thousand thank yous!!) At this point, I am just about done and things are returning to normal, but on Tuesday I was frighteningly close to a nervous breakdown. You know, the kind of close where you either have to laugh yourself out of it or actually have the damn thing. Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway, so there!), I don't really remember all the interesting thoughts, but I'm going to try for a recap here.

-------

The other day my pal, "A", gave me a barking collar so I can make an attempt at curbing Troopers early morning reminders that "It's time to let me out of this cage, Woman!" I happened to be holding it as I picked up my class for the morning. (On a totally, utterly unrelated sidenote - I have about 5 students who don't even stop making noise to take a breath.) One of my students saw the collar and innocently asked, "Is someone going to wear that?" I would be lying if I said I didn't have the briefest of lovely visions of a quiet classroom, before I explained that it was for the dog.

------

I have been listening to a couple of Indigo Girls albums obsessively in the car lately. I am pretty sure I am supposed to be getting an important message, either for myself or to pass on, but I am not sure what it is supposed to be. If you are expecting a message from the universe regarding relationships, give me a buzz...I may have intercepted it accidentally.

------

The dogs are still here. I am enjoying them.

------

Our cupboards are filled with food items that I bought when I was hungry. This means that when I look at them now, I often think "What the hell???" As of today, all the food I like is gone and we still have enough food in the house to feed a small...well, medium sized...army of locusts. It is rediculous. I am tempted to make myself finish off all the crap floating around before I go food shopping again, but that just doesn't sound appetizing. And it wouldn't be fair to Mike.

-----

I know that the above stories don't really illustrate it well, but I have been having interesting thoughts. It's just that my brain is tired and useless by the time I am able to sit down to the computer. My most abject apologies!

Mmmm...tastes like chicken!

My favorite thing about teaching is the variety of conversations that happen. There is never a dull moment, especially with hormone-ridden pre-teens. The other day my class and I were talking about the first years of the English colony called Jamestown. The whole discussion was fun: comparing Disney movies to reality, discussing the cultural differences of the colonists and the Powhatan tribe, explaining how challenging life was at that time. The most interesting part, by far, was trying to make a bunch of well-fed, comfortable 5th graders understand why the starving, freezing colonists were willing to eat dogs, cats, shoes, and even those who had already died during that horrible winter and how it didn't make them bad people, just desperate ones.

I'm worried that some of them were too convinced and are know envisioning their tablemates as giant roasted turkeys like in the cartoons! :)

My Kind of Shopping

We ventured into Temecula today. We could do that because I, like much of the country, am enjoying a three day weekend. In my humble opinion, all weekends should consist of three days: one for cleaning house, one for catching up on grading, and one for being lazy. Two days just doesn't cut it. Something always gets left out and unfortunately, it's usually the lazy day.

Anyway. The trip to Temecula. We had some shopping to do.

First, we stopped at Kohl's. They were having a President's Day sale and I was hoping to find something to spice up my wardrobe. I'm not much for clothes shopping, but every once in a while I get tired of wearing the same old leftovers day after day. It's time to add a little somethin'-somethin' to the closet. No luck. Everything was overpriced even AFTER the 30-50% discounts. Or too ugly. Sheesh. I did manage to find a nice serving bowl the matches my dishes and a fun t-shirt. The best part? I had a gift certificate left over from Christmas so I didn't spend a penny. I even have a balance left over for the next time I go. Whoot.

Next, we went to CostCo. We piled thing willy-nilly into our cart: video games, vegetables in bulk, yummy breads, treats. It was quite busy there and I think the thrill of our free Kohl's shopping had really gotten us in the mood for buying. Lucky for us, we also had a gift certificate for CostCo. We walked out, cart nicely loaded (if poorly aligned), without paying a dime.

For lunch, we got a table at Macaroni Grill where we built our own pasta dishes. Be warned that the M.G. idea of "pesto" is nothing like real pesto, although it is tasty. Two loaves of bread and much whispered giggling later, we paid the bill with...can you guess? Yep. A gift certificate. The tip was cash, but that was it. And they say there's no such thing as a free lunch!

Our final stop was Albertson's for groceries. I wish I could say that was prepaid as well, but it wasn't. Any gift certificate we got for Albertson's would be gone immediately. It was hard to mind paying for food, though, when the day had gone so well.

Bit o' Rambling

~ The garden is nearly turned over. The seeds will be planted this afternoon, and hopefully they will be ready for planting in March when the weather starts to cooperate again. (Kathy, did you notice how I was punished for my bragging?)

~ Mia caught a mouse today. She found the hole and either made a lucky guess or heard it moving around underground. She dug into the hole until she found the poor little thing and then carried it around the yard proudly. Yikes. At least, not being a cat, she didn't feel the need to give it to me as a present. She kept it all for herself.

~ My knees are killing me. This isn't really anything new, but this time I can't say it is because I have been lazy. I've been on my feet constantly at school, and the dogs have had me out walking twice a day on off days. This concerns me some as I feel I am a bit young to have arthritic type symptoms showing up every time the weather changes.

~ Last week my class took a states and capitals test. With the exception of about 6 of them, they all failed it. I lectured profusely on the need to actually STUDY since this was one of those things you just have to memorize. I told them on no uncertain terms that they WOULD BE PASSING the retake or THERE WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES. I graded the retakes today. With the exception of about 6, they all passed with flying colors. Much better.

~ Just finished reading Stephen King's IT for the 284th time. It remains one of my favorite stories. I get so enthralled in the character development. Each time I read it I make some new connection or notice another well crafted passage. Of course, each time I read it my disliking of the ending is renewed as well. What is it with King and spider creatures from outer space?

~ Ollie is adorable. See?