I was the "responsible party" on the bus ride to the field trip yesterday. Basically that means that you ride in the front of the bus and take over if, god forbid, something should happen to the driver. No big deal. Unless the driver is a sad, lonely man who lives for the moments that he has a captive audience. Or at least an audience that can't physically leave! During the 3 hours of riding (there and back) I got to hear all about his life. When he learned that my husband worked with computers he told me all about his expertise with the machines. When one of the students mentioned Buffy the Vampire Slayer he told me about the time he met Sarah Michelle Gellar. When I was talking with a student about airplanes he explained that he was a liscenced commercial pilot and he really prefers flying Leer jets to prop planes. I mean, who doesn't? It went on and on this way...every topic that came up, he was an expert. The Outback Steakhouse that we passed reminded him of the student who used to discuss quantum physics and Star Trek with him. It was never ending.

I listened and nodded and smiled politely. Until we crossed the train tracks and he told me the funny story about the special ed student who used to ride his bus. This kid was afraid of trains and was always nervous when they crossed tracks. Mr. Busdriver laughed as he told me about the time he played a recording of a train while crossing the tracks. "It really freaked that kid out. He kept saying that he could hear a train but where was it??"

I was greatful for the little girl sitting next to me who was also listening to the story. My look of disgust combined with her comment ("Why did you do that? That's really mean!") were enough to shut him up for a few minutes. He spent the rest of the trip trying to explain to me how much he really liked special ed students and how well he got along with them.

Too late, buddy. You're already on the s**t list.