The Balance of the Universe

I apologize for leaving such a despondant post on top for so long, especially since the remainder of my week has been full of things that make me smile...

~ the grapefruit glow of the setting sun making the distant mountains blush like maidens behind their veils of fog and mist

~ the full on belly laugh, followed by the 5 minutes of giggling that my class and I shared during our spelling test this afternoon

~ the mustard flavored pretzels I snacked on

~ the smashing success that was our Showing Writing Fashion Show

~ "We just really appreciate how understanding you have been." (from parents who are dealing with some heavy issues but still manage to help their child complete homework and show up at school prepared to learn)

~ the totally inaccurate information being spouted by a Law and Order episode discussing kidney transplants

~ reading the amazing book "Stargirl" by Jerry Spinelli, an amazing author

~ having the problem of too many good books and not enough bookshelves in my classroom, thanks to Scholastic book orders and the free points I earn when my class orders books

~ looking at a picture of my siblings and I at my wedding - one of my very favorite pictures ever - and then getting a call from my baby brother, the frosh football star

~ the two (not just one...TWO!) cards that we got in the mail - one beautiful and the other hilarious (We do NOT give out broccoli at Halloween! We give out carrot sticks.)

~ hearing a student say that he and his mother had had a serious dicussion about each other's feelings and come to some wonderful agreements

~ the smell of dinner cooking when I walked in the door after spending a total of 12 hours at school and nearly 14 hours away from home

There were so many other things...I can't name them all. It's a wonderful life, I tell you.

"I just don't think you are very good at working with students with special needs."

Did she KNOW those were the words needed to break my heart?
Or was she just guessing?

A Whole Week?

Where does the time go?

I have had many thoughts, but since I have yet to put my hand-held recorder in my car like I have planned, I can't remember a damn one of them. How frustrating to know there is something fabulous behind that curtain, but to be unable to sweep it aside. I have to remember to put that recorder in my car.

I am currently working on my first master's course, regarding technology in the classroom. It seems somewhat serendipidous since we are currently struggling with our own technology plan at school. Who knows, I might learn something useful.

We have not begun our attempt at guttering the house yet. It is so much easier to sit inside watching episodes of Monk and oodles of Halloween movies of questionable quality. (Although I will give Shaun of the Dead a resounding "Bravo".) Perhaps next weekend will be the one during which I get off my lazy butt and do something productive. Perhaps not.

Mikey has been working hard. So many projects, each making progress, albeit gradually. I am always so impressed by the innovation that springs from my hubby's brow.

Last year, I was honored at a staff meeting by a friend (it's kind of a pass-the-kindness thing and happened to be around the time of the transplant). In her wonderful letter, she referred to me as her "Stargirl", a term taken from a Jerry Spinelli book. I just finished reading that book for the first time and I can't hardly believe it. I WISH I were half the person Stargirl is. If only I had the courage and selflessness to be like that. I am touched to think that my friend made that connection.

My hips are starting to hurt. I don't know what it is...diet, inactivity (although I haven't been), changing weather...but something is making my joints ache lately. A couple weeks ago, it was my knees. While they seem to have settled down, now my hips are complaining mildly. If I move just wrong it brings to mind the feeling of tearing a chicken leg out of it's socket - it isn't a PAIN kind of pain, but it feels wrong.

Speaking of changing weather, it is getting to be winter around here. The thermometer mercury is pulling back into itself more and more each night. 55. 48. 43. Soon I will be seeing frost out the window as I prepare myself for the day. There is moisture in the air that doesn't know what to do with itself. It hangs around, covering the hills and valleys with a layer of haze, occasionally condensing on the side of the house or dripping off the point of a leaf. The days are still sunny and warm, but each night winter's calling card is a little bigger.

Friday was one of the bestest days this year. After several weeks of frustration with missing homework, poor choices, and constant reminders of things they should already know, I was able to watch them leave with a sense of sorrow, rather than relief. Those are the days that make it all worth while. The ones were they go out of their way to make things easier for me...just because. Of course, those are also the days that remind me of the power of positive consequences. It was easy to find reasons to praise them, therefore they were happier and more willing to do praiseworthy things. A cycle that is so easy to break with one angry look or one sarcastic word. Monday, I will try harder to be a person they want to please, rather than someone they have to please.

The laundry is done. Time to fold. What little things are happening in your world?

Literally

A preface for those of you who don't already know...
The title of my blog comes from the stories I used to get from my Daddy on my birthday. Each featured myself as a youngster and my faithful companion, Isha, who lived in the raindrops that make up rainbows. She would always take me on a tumbling trip through the colors and often solved a problem or two for me as well.

Today, I was actually rambling with Isha. She came to visit me in all her colorful glory as I was driving home. We had scattered showers all day and the sun is just now starting to peek through the clouds. When I noticed this, I thought "Hey....these are the perfect conditions for a visit from Isha." No sooner had I finished the thought, BAM. There was a beautiful, DOUBLE rainbow shooting down from the sky like an arrow.

It got me thinking. Isha only shows up on rainy/cloudy days. There has to be enough moisture in the air for the sun to reflect off of before a rainbow can be formed. This makes days like today - drizzly, gray ones - some of my favorites. Instead of plodding along with my head tucked in to avoid the sprinkles, I am scanning the sky for signs of my cheerful friend. What a good life lesson. Why not look around for a friend or a good sign on those days that make you want to cry? It changes your whole perspective. Of course, Isha doesn't always show up, but while I am looking I often notice other things to pick me up. Like how green the moss is on the rocks today after only a day of rain. Or the gigantic, orange pumpkin someone set high up in the rocks. Or the way the sun is just about to assert itself over the clouds and drop by just in time to tell me goodnight. All of that on what most see as just another rainy day.

Why?

Why is it that after staring at the ceiling all night I was able to jump out of bed with a smile and have a good day, but on the night that I slept like the dead for 10 hours (8 pm to 6 am) I was barely able to drag my reanimated carcass through the requisite school hours?

It is now 8:00 pm again and I am exhausted. But I am terrified that if I sleep well tonight I will have to go through another repeat of today. I shudder at the thought.

Please Curb Your...Temper?

The other day I was thinking about personalities. More specifically, I was contemplating that all-important aspect of the personality - the temper. Your temperament influences everything you do in some way or another. Perhaps because I have been teaching metaphors to my students, I likened temper to a family dog...

Everyone has a temper. What breed is yours?

1. Rex
Rex is the quintessential family dog. He is helpful and cooperative. He is friendly enough to make visitors feel welcome, while still maintaining an attentive eye on things. He is patient with the little ones who climb all over him and pull his ears, but if anyone makes a threatening move toward the baby, you can be sure that Rex will be there, teeth bared and hackles raised.

2. Chopper (bonus points to those who recognize the referance)
Chopper is an attack dog. He starts barking at the mailman while he is still several doors down and doesn't quit until he is out of site. While he manages to keep the baby safe from strangers, he also keeps all friends and neighbors away. They're never sure if they are going to do the wrong thing and end up with a set of fang-marks in their arms.

3. Fifi
Fifi makes a lot of noise, but rarely cares whether it changes anything. She is highstrung and prone to melodromatic displays of emotion. Although well loved by a faithful few, Fifi tends to drive others away with her constant complaints. She couldn't care less about the baby, even if she knew it existed.

4. Ol' Blue
Good Ol' Blue. He's been around for a very long time. He spends most of his time lying under the kitchen table, hoping for a tasty scrap to come his way. Although in his youth he was more like Rex, he is now too tired to care what happens to the baby. He figures that if the baby were so darned important, someone else would be protecting it so he could take a nap, reliving his glory days in his dreams.

5. Tigger
Tigger is a bouncy, happy-go-lucky dog who doesn't take anything too seriously. He is young, so the chances of him morphing into one of the other types of dog is very high, but at this moment in time nothing worries him too much. That stranger walking off with the baby? Must just be a friend I haven't met yet. Tigger makes friends with everyone (and quickly), but few of them would trust him with any big responsibility.

So.
I think this year is a pivotal one, one where I will learn if I am a Rex...or a Chopper. :) I strive to maintain a balance between caring and relaxing, but it is so difficult. And way too often I find myself barking my fool head off over some unimportant issue. This morning it was the running on the blacktop. It's a mild safety issue, but is it worth giving myself a brain aneurism over? I doubt it. How about you? What kind of dog is protecting YOUR brain?

Fall Festival

My school does an annual fundraiser called the Fall Festival. Each class is responsible for a booth (face painting, hot dogs, ring toss, etc.), as well as putting together a themed basket (game night, BBQ, mom's day out, etc.) to be raffled off. On the afternoon in question, the booths get set up and local families swarm the school grounds. Each booth requires some specified number of tickets, which are purchased at the enterance.

This year, we had the Golf (putting) Booth and the "Italian Food" themed basket. Fortunately, parent volunteers did all the organizing and gathering and prepping. (I have AMAZING parent help this year.) All I had to do was man the booth for an hour. It was lots of fun, especially watching the little ones try to hold the club! Everyone got three tries and won either a candy treat (for trying) or a toy treat (for getting the ball to stay on the green). I got home at about 8:00, tired but happy.

I allowed myself to sleep in, hoping that would be all it took to recover. Not so. I have sore muscles in places I didn't know there were muscles. I guess all the repetitive bending involved in placing and collecting those golf balls took its toll on me. I should probably try to get more active, rather than just being grateful that I don't have to do this again until next year.

Driving In My Car

OR

Living in the Moment: A Daily Exercise

My daily commute provides me with ample time for reflection and thought. Sometimes, too much. I have plenty of time in my own head to brood on that mistake I made or that person who hurt my feelings or that thing I wish I could afford or that JERK WHO CUT ME OFF JUST NOW. Pant, pant. As I think these thoughts, I find more and more to brood about. One bad thing reminds me of another. In a few short minutes I am a seething ball of rage and frustration. My grip on the steering wheel tightens as that one vein in my head starts to throbe. Yeah, THAT one. The one that runs along my right temple, past my eyebrow, and into my hairline. Yikes.

I have found that the only solution to this problem is to focus on the Now. First, I have to go outside myself. I look at the hills and valleys, the sunflowers on the side of the road, the birds on the telephone wires. I focus on the joy these things bring me. Then I am able to return to my thoughts, this time thinking of how wonderful my life is at that moment.

The fact that I am in my car, on my way to work, is proof of so much good in my life. I have a trustworthy, reliable vehicle which allows me to live where I want to live and work where I want to work. I have a beautiful house outside of the city. I have a job that I love and am willing to commute for. I am healthy enough to drive myself to work every day. I can afford the gas needed to make my trip. I have a husband who not only loves me for who I am, but also does the dishes AND cleans the kitty litter on a regular basis.

My past may have rocky spots and my future may be uncertain, but my NOW is pretty damn good. I am so glad that I have time every day to contemplate that and be thankful for it.

I'll Learn You!

I received the books for two of my "masters" courses today. One is on utilizing technology in the classroom. I am sure it will have lots of useful information that pertains only to people who have technology to be utilized. Hopefully, it will have some valuable suggestions in it. The other is called "The War Against America's Public Schools". I have only skimmed the prologue, but it seems as though the enemies of public school are:
1. conservatives,
2. institutes of higher learning,
3. business and industry,
4. christians, and
5. insiders.

That's a lot of enemies! I am actually looking forward to this book, if only to figure out just what it is trying to say.

A Word of Advice

If you are unhappy with your supervisor, take the time to figure out whether the person you are talking with is also unhappy before bad-mouthing said supervisor. If you don't, you are bound to stick your foot in your mouth in a BIG, BIG way.

No, I didn't chew shoe today. But I know someone who did.

French Bread

I cannot go to the grocery store without buying a loaf of the french bread they make there. Especially if it is piping hot, fresh from the oven. I have no will power. Of course, when I think about all the yummy things I can do with this bread:
- chewy pb&j sandwiches
- garlic bread
- sopping up the sauce from my favorite macaroni salad
- honey/butter toast

I can't come up with a reason to HAVE will power.

Whither the Weather

I have quite a few educational irons on the fire these days.

1. Math - Factoring
This is nothing new for 5th graders, but they like to pretend it is. Never-the-less, they are making good progress with it. We talked about Greatest Common Factors today and most of them got the hang of it after only a couple tries.

2. Writing - Figurative Language
Similes, metaphors, alliteration, and personification have all been discussed. They have been quite creative and descriptive, which is exactly the point. The best part? They are noticing these things in everything we read, not just in the "writing" activities. Next, we try for hyperbole. Their writing assignment this week is to write a mouth-watering description of their favorite meal, from main dish to desserts, using as much figurative language as possible.

3. Science - Weather
I have put together a kick-ass weather unit. I spent several hours on it on two separate occasions, so it better work! We started it today and they seemed very excited by the whole concept. Mostly the fact that they are going to be tracking the weather in cities of their choice via the internet for the next two weeks. Anywhere else, I would use local weather, but around here it's always the same: clear and sunny, 75 degrees, no precipitation. Nice to live in, but not so helpful in teaching the complexities of weather.

4. Reading - My Side of the Mountain
We are more than half-way through this core lit book now. They have been doing a great job with all the different discussions and comprehension projects. They are also doing well with the additional related material I make them do, mostly vocabulary expanding activities.

The days just seem to fly right by with all this fun stuff to work on. :)

Oh, so handy.

This weekend, we finished putting up our cat-run. The kitties now have a place to hang around outside that protects them from the coyotes and jackrabbits. At least until the coyotes realize that all they have to do is breath hard on it to make it fall over! No, it isn't so bad. Not very pretty, but stable enough to do the job.

This is our first big, HANDYPERSON job. We are both quite proud of ourselves for finishing it. The kitties are pretty happy too. Our next project is to put gutters on the house and garage. We have all the necessary materials. Now all we need is the motivation and a lotta luck.

You Bastard!

Mr. Whedon has quite a bit to answer for if you ask me. We saw Serenity this afternoon (along with a loverly lunch at our favorite Indian place). I enjoyed the movie overall, but I am very, very unhappy about a certain plot choice that was made. It almost ruined the movie for me. Almost. If you've seen it, and are a fan of Firefly (not a requirement for seeing the movie, but helpful), email me and we'll talk. Post no spoilers, please.