Too Close

Today, at about 12:50 pm, a neighbor called us to make sure we were aware of the fire burning just 1/2 mile from our front door. After thanking her (as we were completely unaware until her call) we looked out the window to see a giant plume of black smoke rising into the air just to the south of us. Since the wind was blowing in a northerly direction, we decided it was time to practice the fire evacuation plan we had come up with not too long ago. Within the hour the wind had changed direction and the black plume of smoke had turned into a pale gray plume of steam and ash. Thank goodness for firefighters.

I don't know about the rest of you, but my fear of fire is deeply instinctual. I knew that this fire was far enough away that it probably wouldn't affect me. I knew that we had the important things* safely packed and ready for a quick flight, should the need arise. But no amount of certainty could stop the surge of adrenaline I felt when I actually saw flames reaching over the bushes. Yes, they were 1/2 a mile away, but they were red and they were hungry and I was scared.

As humans, we depend on fire in many forms. It propels our vehicles. It cooks our food, heats our homes and dries our clothes. Controlled fire does good things for me every day, but all it takes is the thought of an uncontrolled fire to send the primitive bits of my brain into a panic. DANGER! FIRE BAD! RUN AWAY!

Fire is like that one weird looking homeless guy who walks around muttering to himself all the time. He's never hurt anyone, has even been known to lend a hand when needed, but the minute he starts getting too loud or agitated, everyone is sure he's going to do something dangerous. You know what I mean? It's hard to trust fire no matter how helpful/friendly/harmless it's has been in the past.

Today's adventure was mostly harmless(to us - I hope to everyone else as well), but that doesn't mean that I will feel any less frightened the next time fire decides to take a jaunt through my neighborhood. You just never know when it's going to turn on you.

So, you might be wondering what qualifies as important in the event of a fire here at Quail Corner? This is our list, in order of importance.
1. Pets and Cars
2. Mike's computer, containing all he needs to keep his business up and running
3. "Vital Papers" file - birth and marriage certs, teaching license, passports, etc.
4. My school files (this one isn't usually on the list, but I have all my 5th grade stuff here and I have worked my tail off to get it organized. I'm NOT losing it now!)
5. Some quickly grabbed clothing and toiletries

Beyond this is the stuff that you want to save, but that you could manage without. This afternoon I looked around at all the "stuff" we own and wondered what of it I would remember if it were to suddenly disappear. How could I possibly replace the things that I have been collecting for almost 30 years? So many of my memories are tied to the things I own. That cd reminds me of the summer between my junior and senior years in high school. Will I still remember all the details if I lose it? That ratty, old T-shirt was purchased in Russia. That game kept me entertained while I recovered from my donation surgery. Those bowls were given to us for our wedding. That picture from my daddy, the book that so often lent me courage while I was in college, those Pyrex bowls my sister sent one Christmas...

None of it is vital, but all of it is important. I am an amalgamation of my thoughts and memories. Without my things will I still have the same thoughts and memories? Without my thoughts and memories, will I still be the same person? I hope I never have to find out.