I am not a big fan of celebrities. I don't care who J-Lo is dating, what size Britney's boobs are, or whether Bruce Willis is mad at Ashton Kutcher for dating Demi. I enjoy watching movies and television, but I know that they aren't real. As much as I admired Spike's heroic selflessness in the last episode of Buffy, I realize that James Marsters will go on to other characters.

That being said, there have been a few famous people to truly gain my respect and admiration. Katharine Hepburn was one of these people. Ms. Hepburn died yesterday at the age of 96. Throughout her life she played a strong-willed woman who knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to go for it - both onscreen and off. She lived life to the fullest, played by her own rules and treated others with respect - all things I am more than willing to look up to her for. Peace be with you, Katharine Hepburn.

Other tributes to Ms. Hepburn say it so much better than I can...
Because I Say So! comments on the sad state of the world today.
Ain't Too Proud to Blog and Confessions of a Grade School Role Model share their sorrow.

My front yard looks great! I just spent 2+ hours out there. I pulled all the weeds from the bed of iceplant. I stopped the jasmine's plot to take over the world, starting with my front door. I trimmed the hedge. I mowed and weedwacked the grass, not that it really needed it. The lawn is still deciding whether to forgive me (for not watering it for a month) or die. I thatched (a fancy term for raked) the dead spots and re-seeded the whole darn thing. I swept the patio and sidewalk. And finally, I watered. I am exhausted, but no longer embarassed to have people walk past on the sidewalk. So come on by!!

I just watched Pulp Fiction again and I feel compelled to say again, "Pulp Fiction is a GREAT movie!" There is so much more to it than you see the first time. And, although I disagree with the commentary saying that it is not a violent film, I do think that there is lots more to it than that. After you watch it, you have to watch with the commentary on so that you can be clued into the "in" jokes and the little references that you might not have noticed the first time around.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the dialogue, too. It is just so...real. Weird, but real. For example, in a hectic emergency-type situation we hear the following (or something relatively close)...

Girl: What's he looking for? What are you looking for?
Guy: (From the other room) My little black medical book.
Girl: What?
Guy: A little black book. I know it's in here.
Girl: Your what?
Guy: A book. Shut up and help me find it.
Girl: You'll never find anything in this mess.

Even though there is a girl ODing on their living room floor they are having a domestic squabble induced by too much stress and adrenaline. That is real. An unusual situation, maybe, but a realistic portrayal of it.

Today's oneword:

The beam of light called to him, urging him on despite his total exhaustion. What would be waiting there? A warm bed? Food cooked by an actual human? Friends to talk to after so much silence?

Trimmed the blogroll this morning. Out with the old, in with the new.

So. Joanie was asking for some good kid jokes for her son to be telling because everyone, including the boy himself, was tired of the ones he already knew. There were some really funny ones suggested. Here are my favorites. Share them with a kid.
-----
What do you say to an angry witch?
Ribbit.
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
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Why did the cat tickle the mouse before he ate him?
He wanted a happy meal!
-----
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
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Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left him.
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Why can't you pick your nose with these two fingers? (Hold up any two of your fingers.)
Because they're MINE!!
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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the bottom of the chicken's shoe.
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What do you call a bull taking a nap?
Bulldozer
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What happens when you dial 116?
An upside ambulance comes to your house.
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A duck walks into a department store and buys a tube of chapstick. The clerk asks if it will be cash or charge and the duck says, "Quaack, just put it on my bill."
-----

Marketing in other languages is funny. Don't believe me? Engrish has proof...

The God-Jesus robot. Like an 8-Ball, only more sacrilegous. I particularly like how the boy on the box is praying for a girlfriend and the robot is shouting "NO!!!" at him.

MMMmmmmm! Kaka Crackers. I like mine with lemonade.

Tired of the messy, lazy, whining child you are currently raising? Just find the nearest child switch and all your problems are solved!

Finally, someone gives me a little thanks! Is 350 yen a little or a lot? (Good Buddy Seth informs me that it is about $2.90. He lives in Japan. He knows these things.)

Okay. That's enough of this silliness. For now. Except to say that everyone should have Good Pot around the house.

Every once in a great while I manage to avoid sticking my foot in my mouth. Today was one of those rare and lucky days. I was asked to fill in at the volunteer run bookstore attached to our public library this afternoon. I do this a couple times a month and usually end up working the same shift with a very nice, very chatty, little old lady. I didn't recognize her right away and was seconds away from saying something like "Helen, you look so different! Did you do something with your hair?" when I realized that she had, indeed, done something with her hair. Where she previously had a whispy, white, see-through-to-the-scalp hairdo she now had a thick, luxurious, golden wig. I closed my mouth, sending up a word of thanks to whatever being was watching over me that day and went over to help someone. After dealing with my customer I went over, gave her a hug and told her she was "looking good".

Grrr. My comments don't seem to be working right. They aren't showing up on the counter when someone posts. They are there if you click on the links, but you can't see them to know you need to click. Fortunately, I get mine forwarded to my email or I would never know they were there. Grrr.

UPDATE:
Mikey pointed out (with a remarkably limited amount of pointing and jeering) that if I had gone to the YACCS website I would have found out immediately what was wrong. I went, copied and pasted the required code, and we should now be seeing comments as they are posted. Hooray for YACCS and hooray for Mikey. :)

"Pulp Fiction", our latest Netflix movie, was a very interesting movie. And it was funny as hell. At least, I thought so.

I am so excited! I almost have an actual discussion happening in one of my previous posts. Scroll down to the rant that starts with "I am a teacher."

Completely Unrelated Update: OMGosh - I think I can actually link to specific posts now. Maybe that Blogger update was good for something after all! Dude! That is SO coool!

Today's oneword:

The guard walked past, stomping his feet to keep warm. Angela peeked out from behind the curtain, watching until he went around the corner. "Psst!" She whispered to her brother. "I think it's clear. Let's go."

Hmm. That could be the beginning to a wonderfully exciting children's story, don't you think??

How well do I handle my emotions? The Emotional Intelligence Quiz:

Love: 85% - Healthy and well adjusted, a cut above the rest of us!
Anger: 44% - Borderline unhealthy if you are an adult. Average for teens.
Fear: 100% - Unbelievable! No one gets that high of a score!!
Sadness: 46% - Borderline unhealthy if you are an adult. Average for teens.
Overall: 66% - Healthy and average, but could be better.

I was a little disturbed by the percentages for anger and sadness, but (as my father is fond of pointing out) I AM 25. And I have no reason to think that people in their twenties have a better grasp on life than teenagers. They just fake it better. If I were being completely honest with myself, I would admit that anger and sadness are areas that I am continually working on.

Quiz from Press Any Key - Fun Stuff

The Seseme Street Personality Test

(My prediction: Prairie Dawn)

Your personality type is: Zoe
You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments. A family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.

Uhm. I don't actually know which one that is. One of Elmo's friends, isn't she? This seems a little mushy for me. I mean, I said I liked AMUSEMENT PARKS for dates.
I redid the test, changing answers that I was on the fence about.

Your personality type is: Elmo
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of backstabbers, and you are worry free.

Quiz from Press Any Key - Fun Stuff

The Candy Test

Butter Fingers
Smooth articulate, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time.


Quiz from Press Any Key - Fun Stuff

I took this quiz that uses animals to find out personality traits. The results show how I rank certain aspects of my life. #1 is the first to go, #5 is what I would sacrifice anything to keep.

5. Basic Needs
4. Your Passion
3. Friendship
2. Pride
1. Children

Quiz from Press Any Key - Fun Stuff

What an interesting idea!! Joni, over at Electric Venom, has introduced me to The World as a Blog. You might be surprised how facinating it is to just sit here and watch blogs pop up. And if you are interested you can even join up. Hey! Everybody's doing it. (Except Yours Truly, since I am not willing to mess with my code and screw things up around here.)

Tired of explaining to yet another telemarketer that you don't, in fact, own a pool? Or that you aren't interested in donating to their cause? Or that you have already switched phone companies more times than you can remember and the only change you noticed was an increase in the number of these calls you have received? You can put an end to all that by adding your name and number to the new DO NOT CALL list. You can find basic information here and a state-by-state list here. Of course, there are limitations to this wonderful new tool. "Political organizations, charities, telephone surveyors, and the business of insurance, to the extent that it is regulated by state law, are permitted to call you." Fortunately, "you can still prohibit individual telemarketers from calling, one by one, by asking them to put you on their company's do not call list."

So what are you waiting for??? Go! Now! Enjoy!

Our first Netflix movies arrived today. We just finished watching "Princess Mononoke". It's like a more grownup, more abstract "Fern Gully". It is the classic struggle between humans and the nature we destroy in our neverending quest for MORE. I thought it was very well done with beautiful animation, interesting characters and an exciting storyline. I especially liked the way they used silence and lack of movement so potently. There were many lengthy pauses and deafening silences of the sort that you never find in current American films. Anyway, I enjoyed it. I recommend it.

When I am on vacation my feline side really shows itself. I spend 90% of the day curled up on some soft surface - sleeping, reading, thinking - and the other 10% of the day eating. I am bonding with my kitties and enjoying my week of no school. Wait, that sounds like school starts again in a week. It doesn't. I just have to start doing school related things again. My self-imposed summer job. In the meantime...Purrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I love it when Mikey lets me do business things. Especially fun things like sound effects. I get to be all the girl characters in his games. : ) 'Scuse me while I go make death sounds.

Mikey found a fun little typing game (Typer Shark) at Pop Cap that I really enjoyed. There are a ton of other fun games there too, including a word game (Bookworm) that had Mikey hooked for weeks. Want a fish tank, but dislike having to flush the little guys when they die? There is a fish tank game (Insaniquarium) that is lots of fun!

So we finally broke down and signed up with NetFlix. We currently have 3 movies on the way here and about 225 in our list. Mikey spent HOURS yesterday looking through the available titles. They have better selection than just about ANY movie rental place I have ever been in. There's a little something for everyone.

Blogger is updating. I am suffering from withdrawal. I need my blog back. Plus, I don't actually trust them to return everything the way it was before. I recently read about someone who's comments got trashed in the transfer. Ugh. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Of course, by the time you read this we will know how it turned out, won't we?

UPDATE: It's been all day and Blogger still hasn't returned my blog. Mikey is completely redoing his website and has promised me space for a journal, but that isn't going to happen for some time. What am I going to do???

UPDATE 2: As you can see, things are back in working order. *huge sigh of relief*

I think all couples would be better off if they had a couch big enough to lie next to each other, snuggled up, while watching TV. Nothing makes me feel more like a teenager again than making out on the couch while the ending credits of a movie roll by. Yummy.

I am always looking for more interesting blogs to read. So many out there are just unreadable. So when I find one that is interesting enough to cause me to start reading archives, I blogroll it. Eventually they either become part of my regular routine or they get dropped in a fit of blogcleaning. The latest candidates...

Being Daddy
Anne...Straight from the Hip
MomBrain

Today's oneword:

The ruby pendant hung around her neck like a leash, a constant reminder of her responsibilities.

Not much to show for 60 whole seconds, but I couldn't think of a good analogy. I still don't like it. Leash isn't really what I was trying to say. Chain? Collar? Choker? I dunno. None of them is right. Any ideas?

Not only are these signs humorous (in that "I'm so frightened that I have to laugh" kind of way), but they bring to my attention something that I didn't even know was happening. Apparently the FBI can monitor internet use in public libraries and it is illegal for said libraries to tell their patrons that it is happening. Welcome to the New America - Land of the Free Safe.

I consider myself a moderate to conservative dresser. I don't feel comfortable showing off most parts of my body. But even I would be in trouble according to the Liberty University Dress Code standards. Click on "next slide" to see the whole lecture. It includes mannequins modeling appropriate and inappropriate clothing. You know you want to look.

link via Ain't Too Proud to Blog

Update: Yes, there IS a Men's Dress Code. It's not quite as elaborate and the models are real live men instead of those scary mannequins.

Today's oneword:

When I was a child I found a dead bird while walking around the block with my friend. I immediately ran home, certain that my father could fix it. I was surprised and dismayed to hear him say that there was nothing that could be done.


Half way through typing I realized that it wasn't, in fact, a dead bird that I had found. Rather, it was a baby bird that had fallen from its nest. My father's answer was the same. I was horrified. Of course, since then I have had to tell a child the same thing. Life is hard. Especially for baby birds.

I am a teacher.
Most of you already know that. You have heard me talk about my job and my students. But do you know what I really put into it? Do you know what my job entails? Ms. Keane from the National Review Online presents her view of things in her article Teaching Hype. Ms. Keane, we need to talk...

First, let's look at time on the job. Ms. Keane has this to say:
"Teacher salaries may be low, but total compensation (pay plus benefits), considered together with cushy hours and vacation, make the work lucrative."
Cushy hours and vacation, huh? Here in Temecula we have school from the end of August, usually around the 27th, to the middle of June, about the 17th. Nice to have "three months off", right? Actually I have 2 months off and I am NOT paid for it. I get a paycheck, sure, but that's because the pay for my 10 months of work is divided by 12 instead. Now let's look at a my daily hours. Technically, I am required to be at school from 8:30 am to 3:30 pm. That sounds pretty cushy when you consider that I get a 15 minute recess break and a 45 minute lunch break, doesn't it? But wait. I am actually at school from 7:30 am to 5:00 pm or later most days. Why not stick to my required hours?

Because I can't do the planning and prepping and organizing and recording and checking that is absolutely necessary during the hours that my students are there. From 9:00 am to 3:15 pm I am entirely focused on the needs and wants of 20 children. I have to be ready to go from one topic to another, from one project to another, from one thought to another at a moments notice. I have to have my day planned in such a way that I can get in every academic thing I am required by state mandates to teach, as well as dealing with the emotional, physical and psychological needs of each individual in my class.

Not only do I put in 10 hours days during the week, but I often go to school on the weekends, as well. During the summer, when Ms. Keane seems to think we are lounging around enjoying a paid vacation, I am gathering ideas, planning next year's curriculum, and working a second or third job to pay the bills. I spend many summer hours wracking my brain for ways to make schoolwork interesting to children who's attention spans have been cut down to 15 minute chunks.

And remember those recess and lunch breaks I mentioned? Those are breaks for the KIDS. During these "breaks" I am either covering some school duty (playground monitor, hall monitor, parking lot monitor) or dealing with some emergency that has come up. Little Johnny jumped off the swing, landed wrong and broke his arm (yes, there IS a rule against that, but kids these days feel no need to follow the rules). Little Jane forgot her homework AGAIN and I have to stay in the classroom while she finishes a makeup assignment. There are a million things to do and I do them during my breaks so that I have a chance of going home at 5:00 pm rather than 6:30 pm.

So those are my hours. (Not counting the sleepless nights as I worry about whether Little Jimmy is getting enough to eat or Little Janice will make it to school more than 2 days this week.) Not quite the lackadaisical routine Ms. Keane thinks.

Next, let's look at job security. Ms. Keane says:
"Even during a hiring shortage in the 1990s, the number of teacher hires still rose faster than student enrollment. More importantly, those hired still have their jobs, unlike their dot-com counterparts. "

I would guess that is true...somewhere. But not here in California. This year every first year teacher, every aide, every intern in the district got a pink slip. For several weeks I had no idea if I would have a job next year or not. The aides and interns had to go. I got lucky and kept my job. But I will probably go through this same thing next year, and there is no guarantee that I will be so lucky again. I wish I had the job security Ms. Keane mentioned.

And finally, a couple of random responses to statements made in the article.
"Public-school teachers leave their full-time positions at an average age of 59, as versus over 63 for those in the private sector. At that age, finding a job to add to their retirement income is easy and common." This begs the question - why are teachers retiring early if it means they just have to go find a second career? And how many lawyers or doctors or have to seek out a second job to supplement their retirement income? I think this statement says a lot about teaching and it isn't what the author intended.

"According to Vedder in "Comparable Worth," only lawyers and judges earned more per week than teachers did. The additional years of schooling, workload, and weekly schedule easily account for the difference in pay. " I don't resent the doctors and lawyers and judges who are paid more than me. I respect the work these people do (with the possible exception of some lawyers) and I understand that their contributions to society are important. However, I take issue with the fact that actors, baseball players and pro wrestlers are payed better than all of us. This, to me, represents a major problem with America today.

So there you have it. A full blown rant. You don't get that here very often. Now, I'm not complaining about my job. I love what I do and every hour is worth it. I teach because I know how important it is. I will continue teaching no matter how underpaid or underappreciated my job is. It just ticks me off when I read things like this written by people who wouldn't last a week in an elementary classroom. You don't see me writting about how cushy her job is, do you? Because I know it entails more than is obvious to the outsider.

So I invite Ms. Keane to visit my classroom someday. I invite her to follow me for a week and see just what it is that I do. Then she can decide whether I am overpaid.

Eating out is a lot less fun when you are eating vegetarian style. I used to get all excited about the choices I would have. Especially things that I don't make for myself, like fried chicken. Now I worry whether the place I want to go to will have anything good for me at all. :( How sad my life is. Just kidding. It has been saving me money though. I am not nearly as quick to decide to go out instead of cooking. That's good, I suppose.

Today's oneword:

How many blind men does it take to describe an elephant? You've read that fable, haven't you? They all see something different and think they are right. I don't want to be a blind man. I want to look past my own observations and include th(ose of everyone else. I want to see the world from all perspectives.)

I really hate that timer. My brain freezes when I see the numbers getting smaller and smaller. But it keeps me going. Knowing that I want to finish my thought before time runs out.

So, who am I reading lately? Let's look at my blogroll...

A Small Victory - I read Michele's blog because I like her thoughts on her kids, her photographs, her wit. I am also drawn to her political posts even though they almost always leave me screaming at my computer monitor and bemoaning the state of the world. We are on absolute opposite poles politically, but I appreciate that she brings certain issues to my attention, even though I react to them in a different manner.

Ain't Too Proud to Blog - This blog is done somewhat like mine. Short posts about things that appeal to, disturb, or happen to the author. Plenty of links to interesting places. It's a quick read that was just recently added to my regulars list.

Amy - One of the first blogs I ever read, this one belongs to my cousin. I feel more connected to my family in MN when I read her posts about life, illness and raising her son.

A Woman Who Loves Insects - Although this blog is not updated very often, the amazing style and humerous content is well worth the wait.

Because I Say So! - So many of the blogs I read are written by women in New York. Interesting. Anyway, I like the NY attitude and insights I find at this blog.

Confessions of a Grade School Role Model - An American teaching preschoolers in Japan. So many ways that can be amusing.

Da Goddess - What can I say about Joanie? She writes some of the funniest, truest, most touching stuff I have found on the internet. And she pointed out oneword to me. Gotta love her.

Dragonfly Baby - Another of my cousins. Yet another perspective into the tangle that is my family.

Electric Venom - This is also a recent addition to the blogroll and I'm not exactly sure how to explain/catagorize it. All I know is that I enjoy it enough to go back regularly. A good mix of personal stuff and tidbits from the news.

Gut Rumbles This guy is a paradox to me. Half the time he is writing heartwrenching stuff about his kid and his life that I really enjoy. The rest of the time he is pissing and moaning about women and politics and people who disagree with him. I don't like that stuff at all. But the posts about his son keep me coming back.

Moody Mama - This woman has 5 kids, another on the way and she just moved into a new house. Yet she still finds time to blog. I am in awe. Plus, she's funny.

Not So Simple - I find this blog to be a very realistic look at life. She discusses many things that I wouldn't be willing to talk about and admits that there are things she doensn't like to talk about. I know that I don't know much about the real Meegan, but I like what I know. This is one of the few bloggers I think I might like in person.

Ranting Mikey - I love this guy. Really. :) He doesn't post often enough.

Wil Wheaton Dot Net - One of the few famous people who actually seems real. He let's his readers in on many aspects of his private life. He's funny and geeky and friendly.

So there you go. As you can see, I like funny. I like real. I like personal. The political pundits can take a flying leap, as far as I am concerned. We have already proven that no amount of political analysis is going to change the world. Real people and their real lives filled with real emotion are where the real change is. These people keep it real.

I am sitting here reading blogs, posting on my own blog, eating breakfast, petting my cat and reading a book (granted, not a very good one). Genius multitasking or obsessive overachiever? You make the call!

Mikey just pointed out that since none of the things I am doing are really achievements, I can't really be considered an overachiever. Go ahead and add "making faces at my husband" to the list of things I am doing. hee hee

I'm done with that heavy duty cough syrup unless it is absolutely necessary. I can't stand how hard it is to wake up when I take that stuff. Even when I take it hours before bedtime, 12 hours later I am having to force myself to wake up. Ugh. I don't like that kind of lack of control. Same reason I don't drink or take drugs. My body tricks me. I don't like that.

Just a few notes before I take my codeine drugged self off to bed...

1. Weird Al is a funny, funny guy.
2. I have 2 nearly ripe cherry tomatoes in my garden.
3. I hate June gloom. It's the first day of summer and it has been cloudy and grey for a week straight.
4. Lamination is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
5. Staples (the office supply store) is great. The have an incentive program that allows teachers to earn gift certificates when buying materials for the classroom.
6. I am tired.

Goodnight, all. See you in the morning.

This morning my mom got married. I have been having a very hard time with the whole thing. Not only am I having a hard time adjusting to this new situation, but I am missing an opportunity to help her and shoulder some of her responsibility. Those of you who know me, know how important it is for me to be the helper. Despite my weeks of angst leading up to this day I am not wallowing in depression and self-pity today as I expected. Instead, I am being happy for her. I am glad that she is in such a good place right now. And rather than sitting here worrying about what might happen in the future, I am celebrating the joy and excitement of the day. My mom is happy and that makes me happy. I just talked to her on the phone and I was able to honestly congratulate her. I didn't have to pretend or cover up my feelings out of fear of hurting her. That is a good thing. I still wish I were there helping her. I know my mom and I know that she is not going to be able to just sit back and let others do things for her today. That's my mom. And I love her.

The funny taste is fading away just in time for me to take another dose of antibiotics. Hooray. I am supposed to babysit tomorrow, but I don't think I'm up for it. I spent all day wondering if I was going to vomit. I just didn't feel likeplaying Barbies, which is exactly what I will be doing if I don't cancel. However, I will be cancelling on my best bud and only cat-sitter. Oh, the dilemma!!!

The antibiotic I am on has a nasty side effect. I continuously have the taste of rusty pennies in my mouth. It is nauseating. I guess I will just have to keep eating for the next 6 days to cover it up. : )

Soleil is feeling angsty today. She is going to go to her classroom, her sanctuary, and drown her troubles in piles of laminating. She will be playing Linkin Park and Rage Against the Machine loudly as she does this. She may even break out the good, old, angst-breaker standby - The Crow soundtrack. That always worked in college. Have a nice day. See you on the other side.

In the news today...

A young girl in New Delhi, India was married to a dog to counteract a bad omen.

Loews Theaters in New York are cashing in on the desperation of parents with infants. I think it's a great idea. For them AND for the rest of us!

Russia is still trying to make money by sending tourists to space. I know who I'd send if I had the dough! I wonder if one way tickets are cheaper...

And I just have one question regarding this article. Why were these people watching a documentary on respiratory disorders with their kids? Cruel and unusual, I think.

Oh, good. I was worried there for awhile. Ugh.

Warning: this movie may be hazardous to your health.

In the technology world - a new and improved way for parents to relinquish their parenting responsibilities and remain Junior's "friend".

And last, but not least, the Mets seems to be holding their own. For the moment. It's 0-0 against Florida. Oh wait. Nevermind. It's 0-3 now. They won the last two games, at least.

I thought it would be interesting to look back and see what was happening in my life one year ago. I was dealing with an unpleasant family situation and I was in pain. I have been dealing with related family pains during the past few weeks, but I was so much more eloquent about my hurts last year. Maybe it just gets old. This facing the same issues over and over again. Maybe there is just so much you can say.

Doctor (or rather the Nurse Practitioner) looked me over this morning and gave me a diagnosis. "You have a cough." Exactly what I thought she would say. So now I am the proud owner of a packet of antibiotic pills, each the size of a football, and a big bottle of cough syrup that I could sell on the black market. She did remind me that the last time I was at the doctor for a non-annual checkup type reason was for this exact same thing. I had completely forgotten. It seems that a couple years ago I had a viral thing that damaged my lungs just enough that they can't heal themselves like they're supposed to. Last time I ended up with an inhaler full of steroids. This time I am hoping that I don't have to go that far. I hated that thing. It tasted FOUL.

I am debating taking a dosage of the heavy duty cough syrup now. I know that it will knock me out (I'm a total lightweight). But since the weather today sucks and I am feeling droopy anyway, that might not be such a bad thing. I just dunno.

Tuesday's This or That...
1. Newspapers or magazines? ehh. I only read the comics page in the newspaper and I only read trashy magazine articles like "1,362 Ways to Wow Your Man". I like to laugh.
2. Books-on-tape or regular books? Regular books. You can only listen to a book on tape when you are near a devise for playing it. I like to read everywhere. I listen to music in the car. It all works out.
3. Paperback or hardcover? Even though my dad thinks it is sacrilegious, I actually prefer paperbacks. They are lighter and smaller. Easier to carry everywhere.
4. Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction. Although every once in a while I get a hankering for some historical gossip. That's what all those books about Queen Elizabeth or Rasputin or Prince Charles are all about anyway, right?
5. Sci-Fi/Fantasy or romance novels? Depends on the kind of sci-fi. I am just not smart enough for the really hard-core stuff that my hubby and father like. I read anything that has a good (or even remotely good) storyline and makes me relate in some way to the characters. I don't like it when my lack of mathematical and scientific knowledge gets in the way of that.
6. Borrow from library or buy books (either new or used)? Borrow or buy used. I rarely buy books new and NEVER for full price. Barnes and Noble is evil.
7. Subscribe to magazines or buy on newsstand? The few mags we read, we get through subscriptions. We read The Writer, The Sun, and Quick Cooking. Oh wait - not The Sun. I didn't renew and now I regret it.
8. Current best-sellers or classic literature? Whatever catches me eye at any given moment. I'll read shampoo bottles if that's what's available.
9. Read books once, or re-read favorites every so often? Re-read!!! I have read The Princess Bride about 15 times. I have read just about anything from Stephen King at least 3 times, some more (The Stand and It, my favorites, are more like 5 or 6).
10. Here in the U.S., we have two hot best-sellers...former First Lady Hillary Clinton's memoirs, and the new Harry Potter book (coming out June 21). If you had to read one, which one...Hillary or Harry? Why? Harry. He's a character I can respect.

I slept in today. Woke up, read some and then slept a little more. It felt really good. I am about to head back to school so that I can get all checked out and do some more cleaning/organizing. It's a little weird because my partner got the flu and couldn't be there yesterday. I don't know if she will be there today. Although I don't mind doing all the cleaning myself, I worry that she doesn't like me making unilateral changes to a room that used to be all hers. Oh well. I need it to be clean. We can work out the details later.

Today's oneword:


There was definitely a glitch in the system. The woman was supposed to come down the stairs before the dog jumped onto the table and the little boy wasn't supposed to fall after he threw the ball. What the hell had gone wrong? Adam sat and pondered (his work. He knew that he would find the mistake if he just looked long enough. He just hoped that he would find it before Janice called.)


This one was fun! Doesn't that all just make you wonder what the heck is going on? Hmm. Too bad none of us will ever know. : )
*Note - everything in the parenthesis was written after the 60 seconds were up. But only because I can't type fast enough.

Last Day of School

So after months of molding and teaching and prompting and scolding and loving and fixing and worrying and hoping and coaxing and curbing and prodding, I have finally sent my 19 little darling 3rd graders home for the last time. They are now enjoying their summer vacation (until they get bored - should be about 24 more hours before that sets in) and when I next see them they will be someone else's darling 4th graders.

I worry about this group. They, as a whole, are a little less mature and a little more impulsive than usual. They need a little more hand-holding. They have a little less structure and stability in their home lives and they have dealt with a little more than they should have. These kids need extra special teachers who are willing to give them a little more attention and love. It's going to be hard for them to adjust to having 31 other students to compete with instead of just 19. I worry.

I just hope that we have done enough this year. I hope that we have given them enough of a foundation to build on. That we have given them enough courage to face new challenges. Enough pride in their ability. Enough strength to work hard. Enough love to keep them happy. I gave them all I had. Did they need more?

Poor Bill.

Bill O'reilly, already mentioned as one of my least favorite people, has upset the Blogosphere. He deserves every fisking he gets. Michele has a nice compilation of them at her site.

What a fun day!!! :) My partner was working today, so I was able to just wander around, interact with the kids and do whatever I wanted. Very nice. Tomorrow is the last day. I suspect I will cry. I am really gonna miss these kids.

Today's oneword:

I used to have to gather eggs from our chickens every day. We had a silver wire basket that you would put the eggs in after risking life and limb to remove them from the hen they belonged to.

This is autobiographical. Gathering eggs was my least favorite part of the barn chores, since I was slightly afraid of and hugely grossed out by the chickens. They were noisy, dirty animals who more often than not attacked me for taking their eggs. (And rightly so, I always thought.) I had special egg gathering sticks that I would use, kind of like giant chopsticks, to lift the hens and toss them out of the nesting boxes. I would then gather the still warm eggs and place tham in the aforementioned basket. It was a round basket with a springy things wrapped around the handle. You could smoosh the spring all the way over to one side and then let it go shooting across to the other. There were usually a dozen or so eggs in that basket, sitting on our kitchen counter. My friends would see the eggs, pale blue, light green and tan, and ask me where they came from. "What are they like on the inside?" they would wonder. My friends all lived in town and probably thought eggs were made by machines in the back of the grocery store. My mom still has chickens and they still lay colorful eggs. I still dislike the chickens. Luckily, I no longer have to deal with them on a daily basis.

Happy Father's Day!

Some things my dads have taught me...

1. Spirituality is an important and individual thing.
2. No one is perfect. Sometimes you make mistakes. You get up, you apologize and you move on.
3. The 60's had some great music.
4. When you find a good friend, you hang on to them.
5. Family is the most important thing. And it's much bigger than a mom, a dad, a dog and a white picket fence.
6. Root for the underdog. It makes success all that much better.
7. Baseball has the answer. No matter what the question.
8. There's no such thing as a good pun.
9. It's easier to reach your goals when you have someone to support you and encourage you. (Or two someones!)
10. Read. Learn. Share. Grow.
11. When you grow up you miss the things you used to hate, like fishing in the rain and weeding the garden, because you miss the time it gave you with your dad.
12. Standing up for yourself is good, but standing up for someone else is even better.
13. Keep your eyes, mind, heart and door open as you walk through life.
14. If you sound confident, people will think you know what you are talking about.
15. Money isn't everything. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, it is one of the least important things in the whole universe.
16. Do what you love.
17. Fight for what's right.
18. Clean your room. Feed your pets. Do your homework. These things build character.
19. Don't hit people. Find a peaceful solution.
20. A loving dad can make you feel smarter, funnier, wiser and more beautiful than you are.

I know that lots of these sound like corny little bumperstickers, but they are all things that I have learned from my dads in the last 25 years. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Daddy.

More organizing at school today. I was there from 10:45 to 2:00 and I managed to get the biggest, ugliest mess untangled. So that makes...let's see...3 cupboards down...7 to go. Sigh.

I'm walking on sunshine...

So many comments on my blog today! Hooray! Thanks to Amy, Joanie and Geoff for their recent participation.

Today's oneword:

please sir, can i have some more? i want to adopt a little boy in my class who is not an orphan but might be better off if he were. poor kid.

pretty pathetic, i know. i wasn't concentrating.

Okay. Tonight my blog is going to be put to its real use. I am feeling upset and frustrated and I need to vent it. I apologize in advance for the cursing and general angsty-ness of it all. Eye protection and hardhats must be worn to protect against shrapnel and falling objects until further notice.

You know what hurts me? I mean really hurts me? The kind of hurt that you wrap in cloth and tuck into a box and hide way back in the darkest corners of your mind? The kind of hurt that

You know what? Nevermind. My father called and let me vent to him and now I feel better. He shook me out of my little self-pityfest (like a Ren-fest or Blues Fest, just not as much smoked meat). Not only that, but he said nice things about my writing and didn't hang up on me when I coughed repeatedly into his ear. He's the best.

Despite my plans to sleep in, I woke up at 6:30 this morning. I had visions of my classroom's cupboards dancing through my head and it was not a pretty site. After fighting it for 30 minutes or so, I gave in to fate and my compulsive drive to clean. By 7:30, I was in my classroom happily cleaning out my art supply cupboard. I have no idea (remember - this is actually my partners classroom which she now shares with me) how long those paint cups were in there filled with crusty paint, but they are clean now. The paint is organized (Yes, it IS in rainbow order. Do you have a problem with that??), the brushes are sorted by size, and the 3 mostly empty jars of liquid starch have been consolidated into one.

I then moved on to the paper and office supplies area. I got my construction paper organized (Yep, rainbow order again! In both places. I'm nothing, if not consistant.) I inventoried what I had so that I could start ordering for next year. I put things together in a way that makes sense, so that I don't have to go digging through every shelf to find what I am looking for. Cooking supplies and eating supplies on one shelf. Paper on another. Craft supplies on yet another. I counted the pencils, pens, markers, crayons, scissors, tape, colored pencils, chalk, rulers, glue bottles...etc.

I was there until noon and when I left it felt good to see things looking neat and tidy. There hasn't been a lot of neat and tidy in our room for the last month. It's just not possible with all the end of the year stuff going on. As much as I am going to miss my kiddos, I am not going to miss the mess and clutter that inevitably follows their every movement.

Mark Walberg is SO on the list of actors I like. And not just because of the pleasant eye-candy, either. We saw "The Italian Job" tonight and I really enjoyed it. I would recommend it to anyone who likes a good action flick with some suspence and good natured humor thrown in. It was just what I was looking for this evening.

Today was a good day. Our last full day of school before summer break. Next week we have modified (dismissed at 1:15 rather than 3:15) days on Monday and Tuesday, but those hardly count. We have turned in all our books, cleaned our desks, had our party, and exchanged our phone numbers. Next week is going to be filled with movies and games and outside free time. We are all ready for it and we have all earned it. Teachers and students alike.

Anyway, back to today. This morning we had a "Reading Galaxy" party. We reached a school-wide reading goal, so the kids got to bring books and beach towels and we spent the whole morning reading and listening to stories outside. A reading beach party, if you will. In the desert. : ) Then we had a pizza party for lunch, complete with soda - a rare treat at school these days.

After lunch, we had a carnival in the quad between the 3rd grade classes. The parent volunteers did everything - planning, organizing, buying, setting up, running the games and activities, and even clean up afterwards. That left us teachers free to play with our kids, something we don't get to do nearly enough. A couple of us even got to participate in an intense waterfight with some students. I got a daisy painted on my face, ate cotton candy and a watermelon sno-cone, and took lots of pictures. It was a blast.

I am really gonna miss these kids. As I looked around the carnival I saw plenty of kids getting themselves into trouble. But none of them were from my class. In the last few days I have really seen how sweet and good-natured my class is. Not perfect, by any means, but top notch. It's going to be hard to see them go on Tuesday. This is my first batch of "real" students. I got pretty lucky with them. And the best part is, they have been telling me for some time now how much they are going to miss me, too. I think I truly bonded with these kids. I think I even managed to make a difference for a few of them. Like I told a greatful mom this morning, that's what it's all about. That's what I do. I love what I do. I can't wait till next year!

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!!

Well, soon anyway. I am taking my hubby to a movie tonight. But after that, I'm here, baby!

: (
My video card is further broken. Instead of just having grey lines all across the screen, I am now seeing everything in 640 by 480 size. I can just about see "Rambling with Isha" (the actual title) without scrolling! I think I am going to give up. I will return as soon as my new video card arrives. Hopefully, that will be soon!

Today's oneword:


Cowbells, daisies, marigolds, roses. Flowers make me happy. When I see a bed of flowers all neat and tidy and shining with color, I can't help but smile. My favorites are Gerbera daisies. They just glow with joy and lig(ht.)


This one is non-fiction. I have flowers on the brain after working in my flowerbeds this afternoon.

So. I have a dilemma.

There is an event happening in Minnesota on the 21st of this month. Originally, it was going to happen on the 19th of July and I was going to be there. Now the only way I can be there is if I switch my MN vacation time to the end of June instead of the middle of July. This would cut my trip by a week. It would allow me to attend the event, which is more important to me than people (including myself until today) realized, but it would alter all the rest of my summer plans.

I don't know what to do. Help.

UPDATE: I have decided. The event was rescheduled knowing that I wouldn't be able to be there. This tells me something. So, I will continue with my regular travel plans. Thanks for the help.

My monitor looks funny. My video card overheated and died yesterday. Until the replacement arrives (it was free, hooray for Moola bucks!) I have to read everything on a hazy, mixed up screen.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and then days, even weeks, later realized that what they had said was meant in a much more malicious way than you originally took it? It's a wierd feeling, knowing that someone got away with being hurtful. You're torn between being glad that it didn't turn into something ugly and wishing that you could call that person up and tell them that you know how mean they were actually being. But in the end you are just glad. And you try not to recall that conversation every time you think of that person.

You know when you feel very strongly about someone and suddenly, many years later, you come to the realization that they don't feel the same way about you? It hurts. Especially when you suspect that their failure to return your feelings is related to the influence of someone new. But there is nothing you can do about it and you know that you would never hurt them by confronting them with it, so you just cry a little in the parking lot of the Home Depot and try to get on with your life.

This is cute. It made a friend laugh. Thanks Joanie!!

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

My backyard looks nice! I was at a student's house and noticing how well taken care of it looked. Then I was in my backyard and noticing how neglected it looked. So I spent most of the last two days making it look cared for. Now the flower beds are all mulched, the rose bush is trimmed, the garden given some extra flair and the pots of dead herbs all removed. It looks like I love my yard. Which I do.

On this page there are several example of why I abhor Bill O'reilly and his supposed "No Spin Zone". He is rude and hateful and closeminded. In his world there is no such thing as a civilized debate. When confronted with someone who doesn't fit his image of reality, he simply shouts it down. It's not even his politics that I dislike. I don't agree with him, but then again, I don't agree with a lot of people. That doesn't give me the right to insult, shout at and generally mistreat them like O'reilly does. I have never yet seen him treat anyone with a differing point of view with anything remostely resembling respect. Disgusting.

UPDATE: Got to see a re-run of the book talk on CSPAN today (6/8/03). O'reilly and Sharpton really got into it for a couple of minutes. I realized that I should be reading Molly Ivins. She was the only one in the talk who actually came intending to discuss her book and the issues. And I realized that O'reilly really thinks that he presents an unbiased view of the world. And he has convinced himself that he doesn't sink to the same levels as those other "namecallers". He doesn't hear himself when he is shouting "Shut up, just shut up!!" during the course of a "civilized debate". Ugh.

Word to the wise -

Don't take an IQ test with someone you love. Even if it is a stupid, fake one that is sent to you through spam.

Today's oneword:

It was once thought that the world was flat. It was once thought that the universe revolved around our planet. Why is it so hard for people to recognize that the things we take for hard fact are not necessarily true?

Hooray for cherry flavored cough syrup.

I am still hacking up my lungs. The cough syrup at least makes those hacks productive instead of headache inducing. I still think I am going to end up going to the doc for a cough syrup with codine perscription. That's the only thing that works. Bleh.

I was the "responsible party" on the bus ride to the field trip yesterday. Basically that means that you ride in the front of the bus and take over if, god forbid, something should happen to the driver. No big deal. Unless the driver is a sad, lonely man who lives for the moments that he has a captive audience. Or at least an audience that can't physically leave! During the 3 hours of riding (there and back) I got to hear all about his life. When he learned that my husband worked with computers he told me all about his expertise with the machines. When one of the students mentioned Buffy the Vampire Slayer he told me about the time he met Sarah Michelle Gellar. When I was talking with a student about airplanes he explained that he was a liscenced commercial pilot and he really prefers flying Leer jets to prop planes. I mean, who doesn't? It went on and on this way...every topic that came up, he was an expert. The Outback Steakhouse that we passed reminded him of the student who used to discuss quantum physics and Star Trek with him. It was never ending.

I listened and nodded and smiled politely. Until we crossed the train tracks and he told me the funny story about the special ed student who used to ride his bus. This kid was afraid of trains and was always nervous when they crossed tracks. Mr. Busdriver laughed as he told me about the time he played a recording of a train while crossing the tracks. "It really freaked that kid out. He kept saying that he could hear a train but where was it??"

I was greatful for the little girl sitting next to me who was also listening to the story. My look of disgust combined with her comment ("Why did you do that? That's really mean!") were enough to shut him up for a few minutes. He spent the rest of the trip trying to explain to me how much he really liked special ed students and how well he got along with them.

Too late, buddy. You're already on the s**t list.

The field trip went well. The kid got to hear about and do many things that pioneer children would have experienced. There was singing, toy-making, tin-smithing, hay-wagoning, laundry washing and don't forget the obligitory visit to the gift shop. A splendid time was had by all. Well, except for the near fainting on my part. A combination of a small breakfast, heat, extra activity, a chest cold and a late lunch had my blood sugar doing funny things. First, I felt really nauseated and then I got incredibly dizzy and cold. I was able to sit down soon enough so that I didn't fall down and after eating some of my sandwich I felt much better. Of course, then I felt stupid for the rest of the trip because everyone kept asking me if I was okay. Ugh. I hate that. Not the caring on their part, but the scene causing on my part. Oh well.

I don't think my Stat counter gives me enough information...

Aren't you greatful for that? : )

You know that commercial where the guy is trying to buy some rabbits with a check and the cashier is taking a long time to verify that he is who he says he is and baby bunnies keep popping up all over the place and that guy is singing "Love is in the Air" and eventually the cashier tries to pick up the phone and gets a baby bunny instead?

I LOVE that commercial. It cracks me up every time. He tries to use a baby bunny as a phone! That's good humor.

Field Trip Tomorrow...

I am always torn between being stressed by these things and really excited by them. On one hand there is SO MUCH to do and plan and organize and remember. There are parents to deal with and something always goes wrong. On the other hand, it's always more fun to be with the kids at a fun, out-of-school event. And the thing that goes wrong is usually small and unimportant. I always have fun and it's a relief to be free from writing lesson plans.

But I still stress a little. I wouldn't be my gramma's grand-daughter if I didn't. We are a strong line of women who are only truly happy if we have something to worry about. It's who we are.

If you are anything like me and you really want to do something for someone, but you can't seem to find the time or money for it, you need to go here. Clicking is free, easy and fast. Go. Do it. Please? : )

Today's oneword:

Her voice is always going. No matter what time of day, no matter what lesson, no matter how often I ask her to stop. She talks to her friends. She talks to her enemies. She talks to me. She talks to everyone, all the time. It is enough to drive me (mad.)

I was so close to finishing that one! It flowed right out of my fingers, inspired by one of my adorable students. : )

People are dumb. Really dumb.

Today's oneword:

The wagontrain slowly made it's way down the mountain. After several weeks of snow and cold, the whole crew was delighted to see tiny flowers poking up out of the dirt. The minute purple and white specks brought a (smile to even the most grizzled of the travellers.)

**The words in paranthesis were added after time ran out.

Cough, cough. Hack, hack, hack. Wheeze. Cough. Choke, wheeze, cough, hack.

today's oneword:
The glow of lightning bugs was all that could be seen in the darkness. Janet peeked out through the curtains, wondering where her mother was tonight. So many nights of wondering, so many days of fearing,

Okay...so after talking with my partner today I have a huge headache (like my mother, I get headaches AFTER the stress is gone and I start to relax) and a huge sense of relief. The negativeness I was feeling from her was a product of my own frustrations and stresses. Talking things over with her made us both feel better about our relationship. Of course, that doesn't really solve our problem, but only time will do that, anyway.

The Kabalarian's analyse my name for me...

First, my full name -
The name of Xxxxxxx has given you the desire for creative, artistic or musical expression in an original way. You strive to be different and have the self-confidence to implement your ideas because you have the perseverance necessary to see something through, despite obstacles. Although you meet new people easily, it is not easy for you to maintain a relaxed, harmonious relationship. With increased familiarity you are inclined to speak your mind in a forthright, sometimes argumentative manner which creates annoyance and often hard feelings. In an argument, you usually emerge victor, but at a cost. This name does not offer the softness of expression for long-lasting compatibility in close associations. Any weakness physically would be centred in the skin and liver, or in the head causing head colds, sinus conditions, headaches, or hay fever.

Then I tried my nickname (the way I spelled it most of my life) -
Your first name of Xxxxx has made you a sociable person who appreciates the beauties of nature and the refinements of life, and is moved by music and the arts. You are very idealistic and romantic within yourself and may have tried to express your beautiful thoughts through poetry or writing. Crudeness and vulgarity are very repulsive to you and you are very particular about little things. You suffer greatly with lack of confidence and self-consciousness. You crave affection and understanding, yet because you can be so easily and deeply hurt, you have learned to keep your true nature hidden; therefore people do not really know you. You always wonder if you are doing the right thing, desiring to express yourself but afraid to. People may consider you haughty and aloof because of your sensitivity and reserved ways. You may find some expression abut it would usually be light conversation, rarely daring to reveal your deeper thoughts or take others into your confidence for fear of criticism or ridicule. You have a very kind and gentle nature, and although you may be in a position in contact with the public, you will still be a lonely and reserved person. Thus, you live much within your own thoughts, often finding your escape in reading, which you love to do. This name could cause you to suffer through a sensitivity in the fluid functions, causing female disorders, swelling of the legs and ankles, or general blood debility. There is also a weakness in the region of the heart and respiratory organs.

And again (the way I spell it now) -
Your first name of Xxxxxx has given you a friendly, likeable nature, and you could excel in artistic, dramatic, and musical expression. With this name, you desire the finer things in life, but you do not always have the resolve and vitality to put forth the effort necessary to fulfil your desires. Your emotional feelings are easily aroused and you will always be involved in other people's problems as a result of your overly sympathetic nature. You have many disappointments because of extending a helping hand to others in need, and then not receiving any acknowledgement or reciprocation for your generosity. After each experience, you have to guard against feelings of despondency and self-pity. You have high goals and ideals, but must incorporate more practicality, system, and concentration in order to materialize them. In health, this name affects the nervous system and also the fluid functions, giving rise to kidney or bladder weaknesses.

Interestingly enough, these three put together provide a better overview of me than any of them individually. Of course, that's the way it works with these things. What does YOUR name say about YOU?

I very rarely get sick. I am lucky that way. However, on occasion I do get a cough and when I do, no wimpy over-the-counter cough syrup can touch it. At the moment it feels like my throat and upper chest are packed full of shards of glass. It hurts like anything to cough, but if I don't it feels like I am suffocating in mucus. By evening I get it mostly cleared out only to find myself back in the same spot come morning. However, I have apsolutely no desire to go see a doctor. I keep hoping my immune system will kick in and do its job.

My students wrote letters to famous people as part of their homework recently...

May 23, 2003

Dear Lizzie
Wanted to write and let you know that I saw your movie last weekend, it was very good. I bet it was cool dancing with a Italian popstar in Rome. It was funny when you were trying to lipsync but you got better. great job!

your fan
XXXXXX


And another...

May 22, 2003

Dear Jeff
I like how you race. Sometimes I see you driving in your car on the Tv. What does it feel to be famous? Can you send me a picture of your race car. I'm in third grade. When I play my racing game on computer I always choose you. Please write back or call me back.

Sincerely,
XXXX


This next one is frustrating, because this is a bright kid who is just completely disinterested in school and could care less about any of it. He KNOWS how to write a letter, but can't be bothered to take the time. Ugh.

Dear Jude, spy kids

I liked your moive it was cool and are you the boy or the girl and I liked your first moive too the robot kids where cool. your 2nd one was better than your first one.

sencely,
XXXXX

An odd day today. I felt like I was already out of the loop. We had our 3rd grade planning meeting today (getting ready for next year) and I realized from the way my partner was talking that she is already thinking of herself as a full time teacher. In her head she is going to be working alone next year. I worry what is going to happen if I don't get a full time job. Especially since it is VERY likely that I won't. And she seems to be taking the idea of going back to full time very seriously. She has been talking with the union rep about her contract and everything. I am beginning to wonder if I shouldn't be doing the same. I was trusting that things would be okay if I had to stay, but now I'm not so sure. Interesting how people change when they start feeling desperate about things, isn't it??

Gardening Tip # 1

If you don't water your lawn, you won't have to mow it as often.

Gardening Tip #2

If you use a weedwacker to cut your grass, it will look like you cut it with a weedwacker.

Whoo hoo! I like South Park. I like Planearium.


This is how I look on the outside.


This is how I look on the inside.