Photos with Isha

It's been awhile, but I once again have photos to share. Since I couldn't decide which to put up first, and the chances are good that I won't do it again for awhile, I am putting up several days worth right now. Enjoy!


While I was in MN, I got a chance to visit with a baby cousin. Here are his ADORABLE feet!


I told Mikey I wanted to grab something for dinner after my flight landed, "nothing fancy", so he packed a picnic meal (complete with homemade coleslaw!), and we ate by the bay. This was our view.


Since Rojo: Satanic Fish killed Jay Edgar, the fishtank has gotten very dirty. We finally decided to get a new pleco. (The internet superstition is that if you spell pleco out, the fish will die.) Since he will need algae to eat after he cleans the place up, we got some other new fish, too. Here, you can kinda see the two Platys (Sunrise and Sunset) and most, if not all, of the 6 Neon Tetras (currently called The Gang). Rojo immediately started tormenting the male Platy, so he has been banished to a bowl until I can find a student who would like to keep him. I will NOT allow him to kill any more fish.


This is what Bonzai thinks of the new fish.

There you have it - my life in photographs! :)

Lighter than Air

I sang along with every song.
I twirled on the way into the kitchen.
I laughed as we played a game.
"You are happy", he said.
I smiled back. "He doesn't hate me. I did the right thing."

Thankful

With my stomach tied in knots, I sent out an e-mail to my brother. Our last parting was tense, to say the least. We both said things that were hurtful - some intentionally, some not - and neither of us was at our best. I reached out today, terrified that I was going to find that he really didn't want to have anything further to do with me. Instead, a long letter that ended with:

"...Thank you for the help Solee. Talk to you
later.

Love,"

The relief is beyond words. Way, way beyond words.

"If it ain't one thing, it's another..."

"...or another, or another. The life I lead's in perfect harmony - out of key."

My daddy wrote this song when I was a kid. Back then, I just thought it was funny that my sister and I were mentioned (one of us couldn't find our clothes for school and the other was falling asleep in the oatmeal, can't remember which is which). Now, I understand a little bit of what was really being said. Fortunately, I have never had a very picky ear, so my out of key life is pretty much okay with me. It's when everything is being played in minor notes that I get upset.

Some of the off-key chords I've heard recently...

~ My students are doing an art project. They need to cut up construction paper and glue it down. I gave each them a zip-lock baggie to store their tiny construction squares. Silly me forgot to remind my 4th graders that it was unsafe to put plastic bags over their mouths, so when I turned around they were doing just that. I freaked out and gave a huge lecture about the dangers of such behavior and the importance of common sense. I told them that anyone with their baggie by their mouth would have to have an envelope instead so they couldn't hurt themselves. Two minutes later I turn around to see a boy with his bag over his mouth. Sometimes I worry about the fate of mankind, I really do.

~ We have made a contact with some friends of a friend in Mexico. Hopefully, they will be able to help us make this upcoming trip as authentic as possible.

~ I have a stack of papers to be entered into the computer that you wouldn't believe. And I don't care. Hmm. Spring Fever?

~ I have recently been gifted living things by two different people. A co-worker gave me a beautiful, red Peace Lily and my Daddy and his wife sent me a wonderful little zen garden complete with Zen grasses, sand, rocks and rake. I have to keep all at school for the time being because That Darn Cat won't leave any living thing alone. I think I will have to get him some cat grass.

I'm sure there is more, but I should be heading to school. I am quite pleased that it is Friday, except for the fact that I have lots of laundry, shopping, cleaning and errands to do this weekend. If it ain't one thing...it's another.

Time Flies

I am figuring it is about 5 days since I helped settle my bro into his temporary surroundings. I suppose I should call and find out what is happening, but I am afraid to know. Do I call or do I just wait for someone to fill me in? I dunno...

Back in the Saddle

Okay. So the chaos has once again been reined in (as best it can be) and I am back to the calm that is my daily life. We had a typical day at school, the kids were on their best, and it felt good to be doing what I do. Something for me to remember whenever I am trapped in a moment of madness - it always comes to an end eventually.

I have talked about my brother here before, and without going into too many details, I would ask that you all keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He is going to need as much support and love as can be sent his way in the upcoming weeks. I have done what I can and faced the consequences. The rest is out of my hands.

As far as my own mental health, which I will admit was suffering for a few days there, I am doing okay. I am not proud of some of the things I had to do in the last week, but I know that they needed to be done. I don't know that I will ever come to terms with making the ends justify the means (something I have never agreed with), but I do feel that my actions have saved a life. My brother was going to either harm himself or someone else (inadvertantly). I know I did the right thing. Dealing with the consequences of taking action can be quite a challenge though.

Fortunately, I have a very loving and supportive family. I can continue to give of myself for them because I know that it will be payed back with interest should I ever be in need. My father and my step-mother both took time from their schedules to help me through this past weekend. My daddy has expressed a concern and understanding that leaves no doubt of his commitment to my well-being. My mom, grandmas, aunts and uncles, siblings, husband, step-families - all have done everything in their power to share the weight of this load. I strive every day to be as giving and supportive as possible with all around me and it is these people who do the same for me that make it possible. I sit in awe of their generosity.

For those who have expressed concern for me - I am doing well. I know I don't sound like myself, but I am sorting things out and putting things in order. I suspect that I will be forever changed by this experience, and I am working to make sure that it will be a change for the better. I know it will be some time before I can talk about this whole situation without being very sad, but that, unfortunately, is how life is. I can deny it, or I can embrace it. I guess I'm just working out the best way to hug such a prickly package.

Dear Universe,

Thank you for this test of my flexability. Thank you for checking to see just how much I can balance on my cafeteria tray at once. Thank you for expecting so much of me and then adding more just when it looks like I might be able to handle it. Thank you for waiting until the last minute. Thank you for all of the chaos and frustration. It keeps me on my toes.

I have to run - gotta keep on top of this balancing thing, you know.

Sincerely,
Soleil

Too Much

*input trimester 2 scores
*write letter
*pack
*make sub plans
*put away supplies
*grade decimal quiz
*grade poetry book
*grade book clubs
*plan for next week
*complete paperwork
*contact district office
*call for sub

not enough hours in the day

Visitors

An example of just how used to my daily routine I am? Tonight, when I arrived home, I thought I had somehow turned at the wrong street (even though there is no other street like this) and pulled into the wrong drive. Why? Because there was a car in our driveway. I'm not used to having a car in our driveway unless it is mine. Especially not ones with Nevada plates. So, after quickly checking and double checking that, yes, in fact, I am at the right house, I walked up to my door, wondering what was going on.

What a wonderful surprise - my aunt and uncle had stopped by on a Cabin Fever trip they were taking. They flew into Vegas and drove through the desert by way of Temecula on their way towards the ocean. We caught up over a yummy dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant (thanks again for dinner, you two!) and then gave them some suggestions on how to continue the trip.

I am absolutely thrilled to have family stop by for a visit. Usually, I only get to see family when I head home to MN, and those trips are always too hectic and too short. It was great to be the one to get visited. :)

I get by with a little help from my friends...

I can't imagine what kind of a mess I would be on a regular basis if it weren't for the wonderful people who surround me. I go to work and people listen and sympathize and care. I come home to be surrounded by love. I talk with family members who do everything they can to help me. I am truly a blessed person. I am thankful for this every second of my life.

Photos with Isha

Shit

Sometimes life sucks hard.

Because of Winn Dixie

My pal, D, and I invited our students to meet us at the local theater to see Because of Winn Dixie this weekend. Together, we had about 8 kids show up, which was just fine with my migraine battling self. Although I was worried that the movie wouldn't hold up under the adoration I have for this book, my fears were unfounded. A splendid time was had by all.

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this story. I first read the book last year, after ordering it through Scholastic book clubs. As soon as I finished reading it myself, I started reading it to my class. We were all sucked in by the perfect blend of reality and humor. The kids talked about it for the rest of the year, often referring back to different characters or events while reading other stories. They drew pictures of Winn Dixie and Gurtrude and Otis's jar of pickles.

One of the things I enjoyed most about the book (and they handled well in the movie) was the up front way that it dealt with difficult issues. Alcoholism, abandonment, loneliness, death - all are mentioned in an understanding, but hopeful way. These are issues that more and more kids face every year. I really liked having such a kid-friendly way to open and guide discussions about these things.

Anyway - I would highly recommend both the book and the movie. Share them with a kid you love. :)

Bzz Bzz Bzz Bzz

The most horrifying thing happened while I was driving today. My friend C and I were headed home from a baby shower, deep in conversation, when suddenly I thought "What the heck is headed our way?" I had a fraction of a second to ponder the cloud hanging in front of us before it struck. It looked and sounded as though it had suddenly started to rain very hard for about 3 seconds and then all was still. Cindy looked at me and asked, "What was that??" As we gazed in bewilderment through the windshield, we noticed the remains of many mangled wasps resting on the wiper blades. It was at least 5 minutes, and a gallon of wiper fluid, before we recovered.

Visitor

My niece is in 1st grade. Her class is conducting a project where they send shadow tracings of themselves to friends and family with the hopes that they will have grand adventures and then return to school to tell about them. Flat Alexa arrived at my doorstep, suitcase in hand, two days ago. She has been an exemplary houseguest, although I would much prefer the real thing.

For her California adventures, FA took a trip to school yesterday. She had her picture taken with my whole class and made lots of new 4th grade friends. Today, she hung out at home while I worked, playing video games with Uncle Mikey. She also played with the cats. We took some pictures so she can show her friends back in MN how much fun she had.



FA has to be back to school by March 15, which leaves me wondering if I should risk sending her to someone else or just send her home. I think that I will call up my Grandma and see if she will be around for the next few days. I know that she would be sure to get her to the school on time.

I sure enjoyed having FA here. I just wish I could have the real Alexa here. I miss her bunches and I can't wait until she and her brother are old enough to travel by airplane on their own. They could come stay with me for a week in the summer and I wouldn't feel like they were growing up without me.

Sun, Shine Down on Me

Finally, after weeks of rain, we have had a couple days of sun. The air is still a mite chilly (according to CA standards), but the sun is out and things are looking up. It's a good thing I'm not still in the Northwoods. I get Seasonal Affective Disorder after 2 weeks of gray. I wouldn't survive a whole MN winter.

No, Tell Us What You REALLY Think.

It seems I am having a weekend of honesty and communication. Friday, I sent my brother a letter telling him how I feel regarding his drug use. Last night, I talked with my mom about several things that were bothering me. Today, I had a very open discussion with my grandma about her depression. I'm letting it all hang out. Hopefully, others are feeling that these were productive discussions as well.

Update

It is amazing how phone call can make such a difference in how one is feeling. After about an hour of conversing with my mother, I feel better about our relationship, my brother's future, and a whole host of other things. Communication truly is the key. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight!

Photos with Isha

This is the plum in our backyard. I managed to catch this photo during a break in the rain that seems bent on flushing all human life out of southern CA.

If you can't say something nice...

It's been a few days. I was sick of whining about things and I didn't have much good news coming my way. Anything I thought about writing was either depressing or negative. Well...it's all still rattling around in my head, so I figure what the hell. That's what this blog is for, right? So be warned that this post is going to be unpleasant. Don't worry. I'm fine. Or I will be, once I get this crap out of my head.

I have a brother. I wrote about him recently. He's about 20 and he is of the artistic/moody type. He is a deep thinker and a deep feeler and he doesn't know what to do with all of it. So, he medicates himself with drugs and alcohol in an attempt to numb his brain, his emotions, his fears - I don't actually know what. He insists that everything is fine and he doesn't have a problem at the same time that he is inducing grand mal seizures in himself with his concoctions. He cuts himself off from the rest of the family (something I can almost relate to at times) and he holes up in the darkness, waiting for it to go away. All I can do is sit here waiting to see if he pulls himself out of it or if he gives up. It scares me and saddens me and pisses me off.

I have a mom. We have always been close, more like friends than mother/daughter. Not necessarily a good thing in most cases, but it worked for us. Until last summer. Suddenly, I was replaced by another in my role as confidant and supporter. I am not taking this well. If she has to cut a call short, I feel bad. When our conversations revolve around all her problems and rarely even touch on my life, I feel bad. When I have to fucking beg her to come to the hospital when I have surgery - I FEEL BAD. Most likely this has everything to do with my perception of things and nothing to do with my replacement, but every incident is adding more fuel to the fire. I have trouble talking to her because there are so many things I am not saying. It scares me and saddens me and pisses me off.

I have a personality. It causes me to immediately start thinking about what I can do to help when someone tells me about a problem, whether they have asked for help or not. My interactions with others end up focusing on their issues and my solutions. I need to stop. I can't take the stress and I'm tired of feeling like others are taking advantage of me. The reality is, they probably don't have any idea that I am taking their problems on as my own. 90% of the disagreements I have had with people in my adult life stem from this habit of mine. I need to stop being scared and sad and pissed off.

Okay. Now it is out. Frankly, I'm tired of worrying about all this shit. Time to go make dinner.

Cool as a Cucumber

It turns out that when you don't care about the results of an interview, you perform your best. I decided that I wasn't going to look at is as them interviewing me. After all, I have a job. Instead, I looked at it as a chance to interview them. Much nicer. The observation went well, too. My kids were in fine form and I was calm and relaxed (still not caring much what they thought.) It went infinitely better than I imagined when I was lying awake at midnight on Saturday. :)

PS - When a teacher asks you what you think her number one priority in the classroom should be, "The students, of course!" is a great answer. Don't ruin it by clarifying, "Student achievement." Because those are two very different things.

Viva La Mexico!

Mikey and I have just finalized our plans for a week long trip to La Paz, Mexico. In an attempt to really connect with the culture and the people, we are NOT getting an all inclusive resort package. Instead, we're going to expose ourselves to as much "real life" as we can. I can't wait!!

Big Sister stuff

My brother used to come to my room when he was little and he needed help in the night. You see, he would sometimes have asthma attacks that reduced his breathing to strangled gasps. We both slept on one end of the lower level, and it was much easier to get to me than to get all the way upstairs to my parents' room. I would calm him and help him to the cool night air that would allow him to breath more easily. It was most likely born of necessity, but it always made me feel special - needed - that he would wake me up first.

My brother is older now. Neither of us live at home and, since he doesn't have a phone, it is difficult for us to keep in touch. I worry about him constantly. When the phone rings at odd hours, my first thoughts are of him. I know that he's an adult now, and I know that he has to make his own mistakes and choices. I respect that, remembering how desperate I was to be treated as an adult at that age, but I can't help wishing that I was once again down the hall from him, ready to hold his hand as we face whatever nightmare is troubling him. If only so he would know that he isn't dealing with it alone.

Again?

Last week, my fellow teachers and I were asked to vote on a proposed contract addendum. After two years without a cost of living raise and a serious slashing of our insurance benefits last year, we were being offered an increase retroactive to January. I'm not going to go into it too deeply - I don't want to be Dooced for my thoughts - but many of us weren't thrilled with the offer. As I mentioned before, we were working contract hours only, picketing, and trying to rally our parents behind us as we prepared to fight for a reasonable offer. At my school, people were geared up. We looked at this vote as a way to resoundingly show the district that we weren't going to fall for their retoric and we weren't going to be steamrolled.

Yesterday, I was told the results of the vote. The proposal was accepted by something like 52% of the teachers who voted. Once again, I am left shaking my head and wondering how there could be so many people who don't understand the consequences of their actions. We are supposed to be negotiating a whole new contract next year. The district now knows that they can do anything they want, and we will fall in line. We're screwed. It seems that this is how things are going on so many levels. Nationwide, unionwide, everywhere - I am part of a vocal and energetic minority that fails to change the mind of the complacent majority.

So, what does this mean for me? I'm not sure yet. I have already been informed that I might be relocated to a new school next year. They are opening two new schools and a percentage of our student population will be leaving us. I am one of the more recent hires, so potentially one of the transfers as things are rearranged. I am saddened at the thought of leaving my school and, more importantly, my team, but the worst part is that I don't just get moved. No, I have to INTERVIEW to keep my job. Because I am going to have to move, the principals needing teachers get to look me over, peering at my teeth and assessing the number of good years I have left in me. Okay - so that might be a bit melodramatic, but it offends me that I have to go through the interview/observation process as though I were fresh out of college, or worse, as though I hadn't been good enough to keep my last job. It is insulting.

As you know, I am not a fan of change. This is the worst situation possible for me because everything is up in the air. I MIGHT have to move. I MIGHT not. I have to live a double life of preparing for both possibilities. Ugh. And I have to do it with half a raise and crappy insurance, thanks to those who weren't willing to fight. Teaching in a public school setting - the only thing I have ever wanted to do - is slowly, but surely losing its appeal. Maybe their hiring at McDonald's?

Unrest

I had trouble falling asleep last night. Too many monsters living in my head and not enough pillows for them all. I finally had to get up and write some of them out. It seems that my brain is becoming too smart for itself. When I think "I don't have to write it down, I'll just remember it in the morning", I no longer fall for it. So, at about a quarter to twelve, I was sitting in the dimly lit living room, pouring my thoughts onto a yellow legal pad, in hopes that they would stay there. Thankfully, it worked and I was able to return to sleep about an hour later. Time to start keeping that legal pad by the bed, I think.

Ouch

What do you get when you combine a distractingly cute kitty with a dangerously pointed corner?



What a way to start the day.

Paint me a Poster

Somewhere in my ramblings I learned of an online paint program. It allows for fun creations, but the best part is that you can play it back and watch your picture appear right in front of your eyes. Give it a try. And if you get something you feel like sharing - e-mail it to me. I wanna see!

I made a couple worth sharing.
This one is of some splatter art.
This is a picture of my baby, Bonsai.

Mikey also made some nice pictures. He's a much better artist than I.
Here is his version of Bonsai.
This one is Zazzy on my chair.
And here's Huzzah, upside.

WTF??

So many things to complain about...

Button Woes:
I opened my site this morning to find a huge, obnoxious button on the lower right, throwing everything out of wack. Initially, I suspected Blogger (forgive me, please?), but after some poking around, I learned that it was the ServUStats button. For some reason, they thought it would be okay for them to put that ugly ad on my page without asking first. Nope. They - and all their buttons - are now gone.

Wither the Weather:
It is raining again! Now, I admit that my expectations for CA weather are a little warped because we have been in serious drought for the 4 years I have lived here, but this is gettting rediculous. After meticulous research (read: after talking with my friends who have lived her longer than I) I have come up with the following numbers...
5 = average number of inches of rain yearly since I have lived here
13 = average number of inches of rain yearly
30 = number of inches of rain parts of CA have received SO FAR this year (they tell me that the rainy season is counted from start of July to end of June)
We've had some seriously schizophrenic weather. This morning I took this picture:


Literally two minutes later the rain had stopped and the sun was beating down on the backyard. Scary!
And finally...

With Friends Like These:
Remember a while back when the president of Harvard stuck his foot in his mouth at some something or another, saying that women just weren't built to be as good as men in the areas of math and science? (Having read the transcripts, I don't actually think he stuck his foot as far into his mouth as others think he did.) Well, in today's Washington Post there was an essay about it. I actually agreed with author Sally Quinn for the first few paragraphs.

The problem is that some of the women who heard what Larry Summers said did exactly what they are stereotypically criticized for doing. They got hysterical.
What we know is that there are many more male mathematicians and scientists than there are female, both in the worlds of science and academia.
The question is why.

Then things took a horrible turn.

I for one would like to know the truth. If it should turn out, after careful scientific study, that men are hardwired to do better in math and science, I can handle it. It would certainly ease my mind about my own shortcomings in these areas. I'm serious.
I can barely add and subtract...I took botany as my science requirement thinking it was flower arranging.

Um. Shut up? This woman should be embarrassed to admit things like this if they are true and should be blacklisted from womanhood for using such exaggerations to make this point if they are not. My 4th graders can add and subtract. He wasn't talking about ADDING AND SUBTRACTING. Good grief.

What's bothering YOU these days?

PS - I would love to hear from you regarding your thoughts on Summers' speech. Was he out of line? Or was he bringing up questions that need to be answered?

Photos with Isha

My baby.

Surprise

I have recently learned two things regarding kidney donation. One I was warned about and am just now experiencing firsthand. The other came as a surprise - unconvenient, but not horrible.

Before the surgery, I was told to expect some fatigue for several months afterward. It was explained to me that my body would be doing adjusting type things (mostly stregthening the remaining kidney) and it would take a certain amount of energy. Up until last week I thought they were wrong. I was feeling just fine without any extra napping or resting. However, when I caught this cold bug from my class, it proved that my system is still in recovery mode, whether I realized it or not. A simple headcold - something I would normally deal with for a couple of days and then send on its merry way - knocked me flat for a full week. Then, instead of going on to bother some other poor soul, it morphed into a wonderful sinus infection. Despite being on antibiotics for a full 48 hours (which would normally have me back to normal and forgetting to take my dosages), my head is still a pounding mess by 2:00 every afternoon. I am particularly surprised at how strongly this cold hit since Mikey - the human germ magnet - managed to get off scott free.

The second surprise happened when I went to the dentist on Monday. I guess that since I had a recent surgery that left small bits of what-have-you (clamps/staples) in me, I cannot have dental work done without either A) permission from my doctor or B) a round of "pre-med" antibiotics. This is because the bacteria released through a routine dental cleaning has been known to migrate to surgery spots and start infections. I had to reschedule my cleaning once again so the dental office can talk to the kidney office and work out what kind of precautions are necessary. I'm glad that my dentist is so concerned for the safety of my remaining kidney, but I'm a tad irritated that I have to wait until MAY for my cleaning.

It is particularly odd to have these little things pop up now that I am feeling 100% healed from the surgery. It is a little reminder that I will have to keep a closer watch on my health from now on. It is also a little (very little, I know) taste of what Amy goes through every day - needing to keep her health in mind every day, no matter how healthy she might feel.

How cool is THIS?

Valentine's Day is all about the hearts...and this guy knows just how to show it.

Photos with Isha

We usually take our walks in the afternoon, after school. This means that we get lots of interesting shots of backlit trees. I have discovered that these shots look best to me when done in black and white, especially with the amazing skies we have been having.

Photos with Isha

These are the hands that:
*keep me safe.
*hold me up.
*make me laugh.
*touch my face in just the right way.
*provide for me.
*accept what I can give.
*share the work.


Here, they are doing what they do best - providing a safe, loving place for someone to rest.

Photos with Isha

Ooops. I forgot to put up a photo. I have backdated this one for the correct day.

This is a picture I took from the car on our way home. We had breakfast with the Mikey's parents in a nearby town. Personally, I think this kind of false advertising has to stop.

Just So's Ya Know

Some people tweak their chats to make them stick more closely to the point they are trying to make when they blog them. Not me. Those conversations were completely unedited. That is how amazingly clever and witty we both are in real life. With head colds,even. Impressed much?

Speaking of Being Sick...

me: lagging how...not producing?
her: hee hee, might have something to do with 4 of my drugs having insomnia as a side effect
her: yeah it takes longer for it [my darling kidney] to wash out all the fluid
her: I'm almost certain it's just the drug
her: but we are watching it pretty closley anyway
me: i'll have a chat with her...can't have her falling down on the job
me: not that she'll listen to me...you know how they are once they leave home...
her: it's got to be hard working when the whole body is in sick mode
me: no kidding
me: i was working on an equation the other day.
her: they are more likley to appreciate your advice once they leave home
her: what equation were you working on?
me: something about how the bodies energy level must be greater than or equal to the total of regular activity + recovery from illness activity + whatever the world throws at you on any given day
her: in that case I'm screwed
her: although I often balance the equation by lowering the regular activity because recovery from illness activity takes up most of what is allowed in the equation
me: i was trying to explain why i got knocked for a loop by a simple cold when normally they don't phase me. it's because my regular energy need is up as i bulk up the remaining kidney, my sick energy was already being tapped from an infection, and my energy income was low because of the diet i'm on.
me: seee...that's the trick
me: to tweak the equation where you can to balance the parts you can't help
her: yeah
her: in fact i"m doing that right now
her: if I were feeling well I would go and get a freezer and a card file and then go hang out at my store
me: but that would increase your RE needs...
her: yeah
her: and I'm not balancing the equation well as it is
her: the healing needs may outweigh the energy even if I don't add the other two things
me: is it YOU not balancing it well, or the fact that you have a fucked up equation to start with?
her: hee hee, I think it's the equation
me: so you gotta just do what you can
her: you have to factor drugs into both sides of the equation
her: it lowers both sides
her: which is nice on the healing side. . . not so nice on the energy side
me: and the energy income side can only be tweaked so much...if you up it too much you are just getting fat.
me: you = people
me: not you=you
her: hee hee
me: i gotta get some lunch...working on my EI, you know

Good to have someone who understands...

me: ugh. my sinuses is buggin me
me: i am so sick of blowing my nose that i could just scream
her: he hee I know how you feel
me: and someone is messing with the volume dial of the world...little stupid noises are super loud and hurt my head and the stuff i want to hear like the tv or mikey are coming from somewhere underground
me: okay
me: i'm done whining
her: I know that feeling well too
her: although right now mine is more coughing stuff up
her: which is pretty disgusting too
me: don't you just love it when you cough and something comes up and smacks against the roof of your mouth. hehe
me: sorry...that was gross
her: ha ha ha, I have a five year old that is tame compared the things I'm told about

Photos with Isha

I am going to try to start putting a picture up regularly. Today's picture is from the display stand in front of the nearby drugstore. Daffodils always make me think of Alice in Wonderland - you know the part where she's in the White Queen's garden and the flowers are all talking to her? I half expected these little guys to start hollering because I was disturbing their sunny snooze.

Valentine's Day?

Here at Casa del Sol, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We are both of the "It's nothing but a Hallmark Holiday" crowd, and besides - how meaningful is your proclamation of love if it is made under the "everyone's doing it" influence? So, we ignore Feb. 14.

How about you? Are you a bah-humbug like me? Do you go the whole nine yards, complete with flowers and chocolate and teddy bears with clever phrases on their bellies? Who doesn't love Love, after all. Or are you somewhere in between, just grateful that there is one day where people won't think you a slacker if you take off early to catch some face time with your sigoth?

I will be at the dentist on Valentine's Day. What will YOU be doing? More importantly - are you doing it because you want to, or because you don't want to take up permanent residence in the doghouse?

And finally, if you will allow me to go off on a tangent, what OTHER holidays do you ignore? Personally - I wouldn't notice if St. Patrick's day fell off the face of the calendar. But I've never been a fan of throwing up - green or otherwise.

A Message

I'm not sure who this message is for...but it has been in my head for days now and I feel as thought the only way to get it out is to share it, hopefully with the person for whom it is meant.

"Love is how it's lost,
not how it's found."
~Azure Ray

This is from a song that I hear often, but I can't at the moment figure out which one. Anyway, if this message is for you, I hope you know what to do with it. Peace.

ps - thanks to Mikey for helping me figure out the artist
pps - it turns out the lyrics are exactly the opposite of what I originally thought. makes the message a bit sadder...but I guess I should pass it along anyway.

Good Neeeeeeews Everyone!

Last night, at about 11:30, I woke up wondering why I had thought I needed to wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants to bed under my down comforter. I broke out the ol' thermometer and discovered that my temp had indeed returned to normal. (Which for me is slightly abnormal - I tend to run at about 97.6. Yesterday, I was up around 98.9.)

My sinuses are still killing me and I am still staying home from work, but I am feeling way better than I did yesterday. There will be lots of sleeping and playing of video games while I continue my recovery. Now, we just have to hope that Mikey doesn't get sick. He would NOT enjoy having what I had.

And the winner is...

...anyone who predicted that I would pull a muscle in my stomach blowing my nose before school even started, develop a slight fever, and end up back at home halfway through the day!

Thanks for playing!

Seriously, I don't think I have been this sick in a long time. I just don't get bad colds. Usually, I get a stuffy nose, take a few Sudafeds, and get over it. It is always something I can work through, albeit uncomfortably. Not this time. Right now, my nasal passages hurt like I have been cleaning them out with barbed wire, and my whole head feels like it is going to explode. I have already called in sick for tomorrow and I am not at all sure that I will be returning by Friday. Please send all the healing vibes you can spare.

Pushing My Luck

I present to you now, the opportunity to say "I told you so!" in the near future. I am going to work today, despite the fact that I am coughing, mouth-breathing, and popping Tylenol like Jelly Beans. All because my favorite sub is unavailable. I just need to make it through today. Then, either I will be better (hopefully), or she can take over again. Now is your chance to make predictions about the rest of the week.

My Prediction:
By the end of the day, I will be unable to speak above a whisper, but it will be okay, because the kids will be great listeners.

Your turn.

cough, hack, snarl - the second coming

Dear Karma,

Please forgive me for assuming that my kids would do something to upset me yesterday. I made an ass of myself, I know. There is no need to punish me further by taking away my voice and thickening the mucus that keeps running down my throat. I recognize that they were on their very best behavior and that I owe them something wonderful (How does 5 minutes of extra recess sound?), so can you please lift this brain fog (or is it Nyquil fog?) and allow me to return to my normal routine of eating, sleeping, and working? Pretty please? I have learned my lesson and I promise to never assume the worst about my darlings again.

Peace,
Soleil

PS - Thanks for having my favorite sub available today. :)

cough, hack, snarl

Think good thoughts for me today. I am not feeling much better than I was yesterday, but I am not feeling bad enough to take a sick day (esp. since I have none left!), so I am going to try to teach my bunch with a sore throat and a limited sense of humor. Wish me luck, but mostly send good vibes for my kiddos who will have to put up with me all day even though none of this is their fault. :)

One Moment

This afternoon, I sat in my dining room, sipping hot tea to soothe my throat. As I sat, I listened to the quiet of my house, broken only by the trickle of the fishtank. The light slowly bled out of the room as the sun dropped behind the mountains. For one short moment I felt like an adult. For some reason, this left me feeling sad. I'm sure both feelings will pass soon.

And now, a word from our whiner.

I have been feeling pretty good lately. They told me I would be tired for several months after the sugery, but I only notice this at about 7:30 each night, when my body says, "Bed Time!" and goes into Automatic Shut Down Mode. I am able to get up at 6:30 each morning with no problem, and I don't feel worn out during the day. Unfortunately, that is currently being put to the ultimate test. Despite the many times I am growling, "Cover your mouth when you sneeze! I don't want your germs!", I think one of the urchins passed on a bug. I woke up during the night with a sore throat and my stomach turned on me shortly after that. I spent the day reading and dozing and reading and napping and the resting to recover from it all. I think I have whipped my tummy back into shape - behaviorally, not literally - as I was able to finish a bowl of Ramen soup, but my throat is still a little tickly. I just hope I can get to sleep tonight!

Lovely Lawn

We have indeed decided to cancel our gym membership in favor of:

1) going for a walk every day with our camera in hand, and

2) using the money to pay for someone to take care of our lawn for us.

I know, we are lazy, fat, disgusting Americans and we should be ashamed of ourselves, but MY LAWN GOT MOWED TODAY. For the first time in...let's just say months, and leave it at that.

And, no, I don't need to hear about how you would all just LOVE to be mowing your lawns if they weren't under 16 feet of snow. I know and I am sorry. :)

Can I Just Tell You?

Have you ever noticed how certain people use certain phrases often enough that they become eternally connected in your mind? Some phrases that make me think of specific people...

"Can I just tell you..." - my best bud at school uses this one all the time. It is cute.

"I was SOOOOO mad." - This is my sister 110%. She used to say this all the time as a teenager and we used to all tease her about it. I hope she knows it was because it was funny, not because we were making fun of her.

"...on the whole entire face of the world." - My pal from college used to say this all the time and it would drive me crazy. There is just something wrong about it. I can't pinpoint what exactly, but it's not right.

"So, here's the thing..." - I'm not sure which of us started it, but this is a very common phrase in our house. It is always followed by, "So, what's the thing?" Always.

What are the phrases that instantly bring a face to your mind? What's the story behind them?

Ritualistic Reading

When I get my Sun magazine, I always read it the same way. There is ritual to be followed and routine to be taken up when I see that stark black and white photo waiting for me.

First, I read through the Letters to the Editor, tallying in my head how many are heaping praise and how many are throwing stones. Often, I have no recollection of the articles to which they refer, but I am drawn to these bits of personal response none-the-less. I suspect that I am checking to see if I measure up as a "normal" Sun reader.

Next, I search out the Readers Write section. No matter what the topic, I am always amazed at the width and depth of human emotion. A single word or phrase causing so many varied thoughts. Usually, my mind boggles at the pain and sorrow that fill this world. It is a constant reminder that my life has been much easier than most.

Finally, I skim through the Sunbeams on the back page, letting them catch my eye as they will. Each month, I am newly surprised to find that the quotes are related to the Readers Write topic. It is always the ones expressing hope or joy that float in my head for the next few days.

After completing this ritual, I flip backwards through the remainder of the magazine. I read nearly all the fiction, but rarely do I stop for the poetry or the interview. Oddly enough, it's those, the meat and potatoes of the magazine, that I feel I should be reading, while I feel guilty for enjoying the voyeuristic letters and the quotes swallowed in handfuls like popcorn.

Although I am sure that there are others who get much more from Mr. Safransky's magazine, I am just glad to be given a brief peek into the reality that is our collective being. I am happy to be comforted by the routine of connecting - if in a disconnected way - with those around me.

Just a Side Note

It is remarkable how much work I am getting done now that I have NO time to sit around and chat with my buddies. Instead of gossiping for an hour after school and then getting ready for the next day, I am busting my ass to get my schedule up and my things organized before rushing out the door. And although there are some things that aren't happening (grading, for one) I am pretty much keeping things running as usual. I don't think the kids have noticed a great change in how the class runs. Parents will notice a differnce when I don't sent home work reports on Friday, though.

Big Fish

We just finished watching the movie, Big Fish, and it caused one of those eye opening moments that puts you smack dab in the middle of someone else's shoes. You see, it is the story of a man whose father is dying. Everything this man knows about his father comes from the tall tales he has heard all his life. As he says goodbye to his father, he struggles to tell the real from the fantasy and finds that they might not be as different as he once thought. But that doesn't really have anything to do with my moment of revelation.

There is a scene in which the dying man is soaking up water in the bathtub. His wife, with whom he is obviously very much in love, climbs in with him. Both fully dressed, he holds her as she struggles to control her tears. She is trying valiantly to keep up a brave front as the man she loves prepares to leave her forever.

I have had 3 grandfathers die of various illnesses. All were taken much younger than they should have been and each left behind a widow - 3 of my grandmothers. Previously, I have always thought of these men as grandfathers. They were the guys who wore thin white undershirts, let me slather their shaving cream all over my face, and built things with their own hands. They were old and grandfatherly.

Suddenly, I realized that they didn't think of themselves that way. Just as I don't often remember that I am an adult and not a teenager, I'm sure they didn't feel like old men. And each of my grandmothers had to face the very thing that this man's wife was facing. Although was never privy to it, or even thought about it, for that matter, I'm sure each couple had their own version of the bathtub scene. A moment (or more) when they had to acknowledge what was right around the corner.

My grandmothers are each strong women in their own way, and they have each carried on with their lives over time. I would never presume to know what was in their heads, but I suspect that moment was one of the hardest in their lives. I hope I never have to find out for myself just how hard. They have passed on many wonderful qualities, but I don't think there is enough strength in the world to get me through losing my Mikey.

A Request

Since the computer switch, I have been without my e-mail, passwords, or ICQ numbers - all of which were hidden away in the depths of my old system. Today, we managed to go in and dig most of the necessary information out to get me reconnected to the world as I previously knew it. Unfortunately, I forgot to copy the list of people who I talk to on ICQ. So here's the request...

Send me an ICQ message, so I can add you to my list again. I miss talking to y'all, but I was so reliant on the ICQ system that I have no idea how to find you in the search thingy. Have you ANY idea how many people there are with the nickname of "turtle"?

Belly news

A couple of things to share regarding my belly...

1. It's been awhile since t'all have seen me, so here's a picture of what I looked like this morning.



Actually, it was Twin Day at school, and I was dressed up like my pal, D, who is 10 weeks away from having her first child. I told her I would make her feel skinny for a day, and boy did I! The funniest part was seeing the looks on the faces of kids and parents who were in my class last year. Jaws were dropping all over the place. A couple of my kids from this year even asked, "Is that real?". All of the blood drained from Mikey's face at the mere thought of me looking like that.

2. My real belly is actually giving me some trouble. There is a spot just above the right end of my insicion that is paining me. When I sneeze it suddenly feels like it did just a few weeks after the surgery. I can't really lean on anything without discomfort. I am going to put myself on "couchrest" for the whole weekend, and if that doesn't make it get better, I will be calling my coordinator on Monday. I suspect that I just overdid something and pulled a muscle, though. What a pain.

Solidarity

Stormy Weather

I took these the other day at school and on my way home. It was a funny weather day - the kind that would have had me looking for tornadoes if I were in MN. Here everyone says "Must be an earthquake coming".





This one was taken later that same night.

We went walkies!

More pics from around our neighborhood:


This scruffy looking fella lives down the street from us. We occasionally see him in our yard.


Purty.


More purty. When I got home from school yesterday, a little girl was dancing in the drifting petals falling from the tree her mom was shaking.


Mikey is always looking for the unique perspective.


I like the detail in this one.


I am obsessed with pictures of the sun. Hmmm. I wonder why?

Have a Happy Day

It's fun when you go to the mailbox and find a package with your name on it and when you open it there is cute paper for various uses because paper rocks and can be used for things and this paper has my initials on it and happy little people dancing so I will have to find something to do with it so I can share its cuteness with the world. Do you like my run-on sentence because I am pretty sure reading 30 stories filled iwth sentences like this is considered some kind of torture and I could probably get workers comp for the damage it has done to my brain and my own writing ability but I won't because I'm just glad that my spelling skills seem to be intact and our insurance sucks anyway which is why we are working contract hours only so hopefully I will recover from reading all the 4th grade sentences while I am doing something OTHER than grading papers.

Sorry about that. I have been too tired to make coherent thoughts since about 5:00 this afternoon after our union meeting. I will be able to start taking naps with my free time now that I will be leaving school (and all related schoolwork) behind at exactly 3:30. I promise to be more interesting tomorrow.

The Old Switcharoo

Sometimes I wonder if there isn't an actual switch buried deep inside me, controlled by my hormones. I can always tell when my hormones are in flux, because I flip from one personality to another within seconds. Last Thursday, I suddenly became the Green Menace in the middle of the day. I ranted and raved over the smallest things that my students did. I expected them to toe the line BEFORE they even knew where the damn line was. Today, I turned into a big ol' marshmallow midway through the day, gazing adoringly at my little monsters as I gently asked them to "please lower your voices" for the 127th time in 5 minutes. No wonder they can't seem to figure out the rules. Their too young to realize that the rules are strongly tied to the calendar.

Disclaimer: I have always hated the "I have PMS" excuse and this is in no way supposed to be a justification for my crazy moodswings. Rather, it is an observation and hopefully a way of monitoring myself more closely. However, I don't suggest you take it for granted that I have learned any self-control during my more deadly moments. I take full responsibility, but that might not help you after I have disemboweled you and eaten your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Emergency!

Last week my kidney model (the one we were using for a bathroom pass) was broken. I don't know how because the little urchin who broke it just put it back where it belongs and has yet to 'fess up. Since this is the second bathroom pass they have lost/broken, I told my class that we would no longer be using the restroom during class time. Of course, I make exceptions for this rule based on the look of urgency in their eyes when they ask, but for the most part, pee breaks have been limited to recess and lunch.

This afternoon, I almost had to break this new rule myself. My remaining kidney seems to be working just fine and it was all I could do to get the last kid out the door before I went racing down the hall to the nearest bathroom. Which is exactly why I will never be able to apply an "Absolutely No Bathroom Breaks During Class Time" rule in my room. You never know when those beans are going to start working overtime!

Subversive

I tried in vain to leave a comment on Chellee's blog, Telling Deeds. She is a teacher and she was accused of being "subversive" by a friend recently. I was trying to tell her just how welcome she would be in our little group. We are always the team in the back of the room plotting our escape or venting our displeasure at the way things are being handled. Don't get me wrong, we are also the ones who are first to volunteer to help get things done. We know that it is up to us to take action if we want change, but we get great pleasure out of sitting in the back sniggering into our sleaves and covering our handouts with inappropriate doodles. It's what gets us through the day.

So, Chellee, don't let that student teacher leave you without a good dose of subversiveness! If we're gonna light a fire under public education, we need all the matches we can get. :) And I hope you feel better soon.

Shutterbugs

Mikey and I have been taking lots of pictures with the new camera lately. Some of them are even kinda nice to look at...


I took this picture as I was leaving school last week. I was quite happy to see that carrying the camera with me all the time was going to pay off!


These are the trees just off our property. They loved all the rain we got this month.


Bonsai was kind enough to pose in this great natural light one afternoon. I took about a million pictures while he just snoozed.


The pictures below are all from our walk this afternoon.

We found this green patch of land on the other side of a future construction sight. More plants liking the rainy month we've had.


I am especially proud of this picture. I had to lay on the ground to get it, but it was very worth it.


Another shot from the construction site. They cleared out all the brush over 3 years ago and left it to erode away.

The New Arrivals

You have already heard mention of this little baby...



Once the new monitor arrives, I will show you my classy new desk setup.

This guy is one of 3 new fish in the tank...



He is an algea eating fishy and his name is Jay Edgar. Betcha you can figure out why.
The other new fishies are still a little camera shy - two guppies, one red and one blue-ish black. They haven't told us their names as of yet. As soon as Jay Edgar gets the tank cleaned up a bit I'll try capturing their visages again.

New Baby

Hehehe. I love typing titles like that, just because of the heartattacks I know it induces in some. I'm mean that way.

Anyway, you can't tell it from where YOU are, but I am typing this post on the newest addition to our humble abode - an adorable little MiniMac. The whole computer takes up about 84 cubic inches on my desk, and it's SO CUTE! So, I am, as of now, a Mac user. From what I have experienced in the last 2 hours, I am quite happy in my new role. The old PC tower is still standing loyally next to my desk, should I change my mind, but I have a feeling it will only be booted up long enough to retrieve a few things before being retired to the Old Computer's Home.

So far, I have played with the calendar, downloaded some pictures and made a slideshow (complete with classy fading from one to the next AND background music), downloaded updates, and set it so the buttons on the bottom inflate when I scroll over them. WHeeee! Not only that, but this posting I'm doing - ALL WIRELESS. WHHHhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee!

Although this was really a business purchase (Hamumu Software will soon be porting games to Mac), it has been decided that it will also be my home computer, since I have been patiently using business hand-me-downs for a long time. Mikey even bought me a sweet LCD monitor to go with it. This has yet to arrive, but I know it will be great compared to the mammoth thing I am using now.

It's time to tear myself away from the new computer and get some work done around here. I'll let you know about my week it a bit.

Laz-E-Girl

We had hoped that I would be able to get back to the gym soon after my surgery, figuring it would be good for my recovery and provide Mikey with the company he needs for his own workout. I even went twice before going back to work. Now that I am working every day I just don't have the energy to go work out for the sake of working out in the afternoons. At least that is what I am telling myself. We're even considering cancelling our membership in favor of a daily meander through the neighborhood instead. Cheaper, but also less beneficial. Something to ponder, I guess.

"I Have a Dream"

It is my understanding that public schools have a choice regarding Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. They can either take the day off in memory of him, or they are required to spend the day discussing Dr. King and his civil rights efforts. My school opted for the day off, but my class spent some time on Friday talking about who Martin Luther King, Jr. was, what he did, and why we remember him 50 years after the fact. See if you can pick out the things I focused on by reading the following essays.

Some of the best essays are here in their complete form. Lest you think I am a horrible teacher, please understand that I was focusing on the content, not the grammar or spelling. We had just about 30 minutes to talk and write at the same time, so there was no editing done.(I have tried to type them exactly as written by my students, providing translations in parenthasis.)

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a smart non-vilonet minster. Also he was a civil rights leader. And he was mistred (mistreated) because of his bleaves (beliefs). He was assassinated by James Eral Ray. I really like him because he worked for PEACE! I really like him just for who he is. ~Jack

I agry with him we should have peace on earth. and I agry we should be treted equally. I do not like the other people that roend (ruined) his house. he dide (died) because of that. I do not just like him because his birthday lets us have no school. I like him for who he is. ~Jessica

I really look up to Martin luther king because He changed the world to make the earth a better place. He is one of my biggest heros. One time I even had a dream about him. Martin luther King wanted to work for peace. He was awarded the nobel peace prize. That is why I love martin luther King. ~Garrett

I like how he wanted ALL people to be treated equally. Now that he did that I can play with my friend Ariana. She is black, I feel bad for Martin Luther king that he died. He was shot in the head by James Earl Ray. He was thrown in jail without any light just because he maid a speech. His speech was called I HAVE A DREAM. They all mistreaded him. They all threw rocks at his house. They set his house on fire. Martin Luther king did not believe in violent. He only worked for peace. He always treated people nicely. He never did violence. He was a minister and lived in Alabama. That is why I like Martin Luther King. ~Sierra

He was a great man and he worked for peace. Whene he made that speech I felt great. His house was destroed and that was horrible. Soon he was assassinated by James Earl Ray. I'll never forget him because he was a great man. All in all, He was a man of the peace that why he's a hero. ~Jesse

I agrey that racisom is a stuped resen to hate echother. I think Marten Luther King was a god man, and I think that it dosint mater if you are black, white, or tan you should still be nice to other people. I think peopel should be treated equwele. I think that going to difirint schools becausa of your coler is stuped. I agrey with every ting King said. ~Jacob

I agree with Martin Luther King Jr. because all humans should be treeted equaly just like he said. Martin Luther Kind was a non violent person. He has a speech called, I Have a Dream, and it is a great speech. He was killed by James Earl Ray. The think I like about Martin Luther king Jr. is that he worked for peace. That is why I like Martin Luther King Jr. ~Deanna

1972 Martin Luther King Jr. was wanting to be a minister like his father. Martin Luther King Jr. was non-vilent. He wanted all people to be treated equally. He wanted to work for peace. King was 15 years old when he was in collage so he was pretty smart. He was assassinated by James Earl Ray. Thats how he (Ray) got famous. As you can see, Martin Luther King Jr. Loved every body even if they were violent. But he wanted everybody to be non-vilent. He didn't mean to make people hate him. ~Ashley

Some of the kids said things that were either very funny or touching.

He used his life to save the people from attcking each other. ~Justin

It doesn't madder about your skin it matters about your heart. ~Johnathan

I doent like James Earl Ray for Killing him. But I remember Martin Luther King because he worked for Peace. ~Cristian

I'd hate the days back then. ~Anonymous (grrr...no name papers...the scourge of my existence!)

Dear Martin Luther King Jr., Im glad that you let everybody even the black people go to school. ~Jose

When Martin luther king, Jr Baby He sleeped in a jrow (drawer). A few weeks later he got a cribe. He and his brother and sisters usto (used to) play jokes on people. ~Danielle

When Martin Luther King Jr. was only 27 years old, he lead the boycott that stopped segregation. ~Emily

Reading these you would think that I spent the whole time talking about James Earl Ray, but I really only mentioned him in passing. I think that 4th grade is right about the first time they can really comprehend the concept of assassination and they are facinated by it. I spent most of the conversation focusing on the non-violent aspect of King's revolution. We talked about all the horrible things that were done against King and his supporters and how they used boycotts, sit ins, and protest marches instead of guns and bricks to make their voices heard.

I read out of a book about King and at the end of the blurb it stated that "King's message lives on." I was nearly in tears as I explained to my class that THEY are how that message lives. I told them that I was doing what I could to make the world better than my parents had it, but that there would still be lots for them to do to make it better than I have it. Many in my class expressed the idea that equality had been reached (unfortunately, I think we spend way too much time patting ourselves on the back as we teach this topic). One of my students told us about moving to Temecula. She said that as they were unpacking, their TV was stolen out of their car and eggs were thrown at her house. The kids were appalled. They were quite adament that this was unacceptable and should never happen again.

I hope you are enjoying your Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, whether you have it off work or not. No matter what you are doing today, take a moment to think about how far we have come and how far we have left to go. This is, of course, my entire reason for being a teacher - and a very large part of my reason for being at all.

Shirts I would like to have...

I'm blogging this.

It's not my fault you suck.

I (heart) my geek.

(front) {geek} (back) {/geek}

Insufficient Memory

42

Obey Gravity! It's the Law.

How does your garden grow?

I have finally pulled all the dying, rotting vegetation out of my garden. I whipped the Morning Glory back into an imitation of control, and used a pitchfork to turn both beds. The next step is to mix in the beautiful mulch created in our very own compost. I am hoping to plant some lettuce and colder weather veggies very soon. I usually wait too long and everything gets stunted by 100+ temps.

Any suggestions on what I should put in now? FYI - it is typically about 70 during the day and as cold as 35 at night. This is our rainy season, too. I'm thinking lettuce, radishes, and onions (because they take FOREVER to grow). Your thoughts?

Good or Bad?

The Good:

I have learned that I am not just a suspicious, vindictive bitch who holds a grudge against an innocent someone because they were part of a tough transition in my life. Nor am I just crazy. I am RIGHT.

The Bad:

I am right. My suspicions have been seconded and that someone is not nearly as innocent as they would have me believe, which makes me feel even more vindictive.

Kid Power

My class has raised nearly $100 in change for the Red Cross Tsunami relief in the last two weeks. Our school has raised $2000 so far. IN CHANGE. Awesome! We continue to collect change for as long as we can get it coming in.

Granted

My pal, D, and I have been talking about lousy boyfriends a lot lately. Oh, not our own...we both have terrific husbands...but those belonging to some other friends. It made us both sit back and say "Wow...we really have it good, don't we?" It is so easy to forget that and take the one who stands by you in thick or thin or kidney surgery or pouring week long rain storm that is likely to drive you out of your freakin' mind. Much too easy.

So, this is for YOU, Mikey.

THANK YOU!

For the rest of you? Who is your rock? You know, the one who is down there every day making sure you are standing on solid ground? And, more importantly, have you told them thank you lately?

Whoa!

I don't often buy DVDs. Why waste the money when I can get anything I want from NetFlix? Especially since there are very few movies I am interested in seeing more than once. Last night, I watched a movie that immediately went on the Must Own list.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (possible spoilers on this page...don't scroll down if you want to be surprised in any way when you watch) is probably one of the BEST love stories ever written. Not only did I find the interactions realistic in their heat, both loving and angry, but I absolutely adored the ending. It was perfect - perfectly real, if a tiny bit idealistic. And you better believe that I am slapping the awkward, should-have-shaved-yesterday Jim Carry right up in the top of my Hottie List. Yowza! So much better than that rediculous Ace Venture crap he used to do (in looks AND quality). And Charlie Kaufmann doesn't just hand the plot to you in a McDonald's bag. The story is told in a unique, charming way that keeps you thinking, but never leaves you behind. Loverly.

I strongly recommend this movie. I will be watching it again as soon as I can get my mitts on a copy to keep. The best thing about watching this movie was the flood of thoughts/ideas/revelations I had regarding relationships and love. If my computer had been on, I would have posted them...as it is, you will have to wait until I can wrangle them back into something resembling coherence. In the meantime, watch the movie!

PS
Amy,
You friend Elijah is in it too, but I thought his character was totally lame and I hated him. Plus he is sporting a dopey little beard thingy that doesn't add to his appearance in my opinion. But perhaps you feel differently...just thought I would point out his presence!

Wednesday Giggle

You must see...

George W. Bush Quotations in Which the Words "God" or "The Almighty" or "The Almighty God" Are Replaced by Famous Names Chosen at Random From the '80s Edition of Trivial Pursuit.

Thanks to Chellee over at Telling Deeds for the link.

Back in the Saddle Again

My first day back was a smashing success! Despite my jitters at coming back after such a long absence (I always worry that maybe I lost the magic), I got through the day without looking too adle-brained. I managed to find almost everything that the sub used and put back differently (differently, mind you, not badly), and what I couldn't find, I managed to do without.

The kids - even my normally stoic boys - were quite generous with their hugs and notes of adoration. Between the excitement of my return and the frustration of a week+ of rain, they were chattier than I like, but that will smooth itself out as they adjust to me again. I was called by my sub's name repeatedly, but that, too, shall pass.

I had a hard time confining myself to my little stool by my desk. Normally, I wander around the room constantly. After about an hour of that, I realized that I was going to have to pace myself. Each time I realized that I was just wandering, I would tell myself to go back to my desk. It would work for a few minutes and then I would find myself wandering around again. It's a good thing I am on the teacher side of the whole classroom situation! The principal came in after lunch to check on how I was doing and remind the kids to make me take it easy. They will, too!

I have already used the kidney to get something I wanted from the kids. (All in fun, of course!) One little boy was complaining that he had to do something and I told him "Think of my poor kidney!" It worked like a charm. He laughed and did as he was asked. I suspect that for the rest of the year all requests will be coming from ghost of my kidney. "Please get out your math - the kindey ghost wants to see it."

Oh, and one more funny thing. While I was gone, they lost the bathroom pass. My ever-creative sub told them to use the model of a kidney that we received from the visiting nephrologist. Now, when they have to pee, they go walking down the hall carrying a kidney. And they don't just grab it and go - they carry it reverently by the base, keeping it upright and safe. It is quite a sight to see!

I am feeling quite good, but I definitely noticed a decline in my energy level by lunchtime. I warned the kids to be extra good in the afternoons, since I will have less energy and consequently less patience. We'll see how that goes! Mostly, I just have to make sure that I get home early and take it easy in the evenings. It feels good to be just about back to normal again.

Why?

Why did I have to pick the day that I wore a thick wool sweater, had a malfunctioning heater (it had to have been 80 in my room), and was the recipient of many congradulatory hugs to forget deoderant?

Sheesh. You can't take me anywhere.

I blame it on too many weeks of not having to go out in public.

Flashback

I'll give you three guess as to what the weather is doing outside right now, and the first two don't count!

Just Do It

Okay...here's your chance to help even more than you already have! All you have to do is go over to Michele's blog and leave a comment. Just say that Soleil sent you. You don't even have to be witty or anything.

"But...", you are stammering, "I don't know Michele. And I much prefer to lurk. Why would I comment on a strange site?"

You will comment there because for every comment that Michele gets to the post entitles "The Tsunami Devestation" her pal from Sigmund, Carl, and Alfred is going to donate a dollar. Last I saw, there were 96 comments. Let's do what we can to increase that number, shall we?

Pretty please? :)

Dear Weatherman,

I understand that we are often suffering from droughts in this area of the world. I also understand that it technically IS the rainy season. I was just wondering if maybe we could get one day...heck, even half a day...of pure, unadulterated sunshine sometime soon. My batteries are running low and I am in danger of serious malfunction if they don't get recharged soon. Might I suggest spreading the downpours out? One a week during the winter months would be perfect. Anything to avoid a repeat of the solid week of rain we are currently "enjoying".

Longing for some dry heat,
Soleil

Illusions

Woke up with the vaguest of yicky feelings. I can't really pinpoint anything that feels bad, but it's there. You know that optical illusion where it shows you a bunch of squares and you see things at the corners that aren't really there and disappear when you look directly at them? That is how I feel. If I concentrate on any particular body part, it feels fine, but when I just unfocus my attention, I feel crappy.

Off to the couch. Have a nice day everyone.

More Pictures

Knitting:

Here's my very first knitting project! I am pretty proud of how neat and tidy my stitches are, but I obviously had no clue what I was doing as I flipflopped back and forth between styles.


And here is my cute little cell phone holder. The strap loops around the strap of my purse. I don't know how I ever lived without one. :)


Other Stuff:

Here's my new bedding. The sheets are wonderfully satin-licious and the comforter is super snuggly.


Meet Bubbles! He's the newest member of our household. He particularly likes riding the current created by the water filter. Unfortunately, he is, like all fish, a horrible liar.

Game Time!

Okay...the idea is to identify as many of the objects on the table as you can. Post your answers in the comments. Good luck! :)

Irony is...

...calling your nurse to get a note authorizing your return to work on the day that you feel LEAST capable of doing anything. Yep, it's time to get back to the classroom on Monday. I have been feeling great and I wasn't worried at all...until today. I think I have pushing too hard this week, what with the cleaning and vacuuming and visiting and going to the gym. Today was the first day in weeks that I actually had to take a nap, and it wasn't that I just wanted to...I really HAD to. I couldn't keep my eyes open for another second. So, tomorrow and Sunday will be dedicated to nothing but eating and sleeping (I heard from an expert on the subject that that was the way to feel better.), so that I can be in top form on Monday. I spent time today planning and organizing so that I will at least have half a clue what I am doing when I get there. Wish me luck!

Knitting Update

I have now completed a whole scarf and a cell phone holder. The scarf is either going to be bronzed in gold as my first knitting accomplishment or given to someone as a gift. Depends on whether I can find someone who would actually enjoy it (perhaps my neice?). The cell phone holder is attached to my purse and doing its job spectacularly. Hooray for learning a new talent! My next new talent should be learning how to operate the download function for the new camera. Then I could show you the fruits of my knitting labor in all their glory.

Simply Beautiful

Household Goal ~ Work on getting rid of unnecessary items in each room.

Living Room - check!
Hall Closets - check!
Guest Bath - check!
Master Bath - check!
Pantry - check!

I have been a whirlwind around here. All the rooms above have been cleansed of things that we don't use on a regular basis, including (but not limited to!) a peanut butter maker, 339 half-empty bottles of lotion/shower gel/hand soap/shampoo/expired prescriptions, several miles of phone cord and cable wires each, and about 7 old toothbrushes. Each room has also gotten a thorough going over with a dustrag and the vacuum. I have cleaned places that haven't seen daylight since we moved in. We may not be living a "simple" life just yet, but we're getting closer, and in the meantime, it looks DAMN GOOD in here!

Multiple Choice Pop Quiz (or Yes, I'm feeling a little bitter today. Why do you ask?)

This quiz has been carelessly created just for you, so we may determine your understanding of the arbitrary standards that we here at Testing Headquarters have decided are important. Our research shows that the best way to manipulate the system in our financial favor test understanding is to use poorly worded multiple choice questions with complicated and contradictory directions. So, please remember to bubble in the circle that corresponds with the correct answer completely with a #2 green pen purchased within a mile of a McDonald's (Failure to follow all directions fully will result in automatic public embarassment and the feeding of your test to a wild goat.). Your future acceptance here at Rambling with Isha will be greatly affected by the outcome of this test for which you have been ill-prepared, but we here at Testing Headquarters hope that you will forget about that for the moment and do your very best. We don't want the substantial reward of a million dollars for success or the horrifying punishment of lifetime banishment to affect your thinking process in any way. Good luck. :)

Soleil did not forget to attend a meeting about "at-risk" students. She presented the following query: "So what do I DO for those students who don't qualify for help academically? How do I help the ones who are failing because of the particulars of their home lives?" Please circle the the answer that you think is the least wrong.

A. "Well, we are working on getting a system set up that will help us identify these students earlier and gathering some data that will help us provide the assistance that is most beneficial to the greatest number of students."

3. "Kids like that fall through the cracks. There isn't much we can do."

<>. "Here's a list of county and state programs that are in place. If you need help communicating this information to the parents, let me know and we will arrange a meeting time that is convenient for all of us."

@. "The home life of a student is really the parents' responsibility."


**Please note that if you have a problem with the topic, editing, phrasing, or level of this question or its answer choices, you should know that we don't care. We here at Testing Headquarters know that it couldn't possibly be a problem with our test, so it must be you. Are you stupid or what? I'm sure that your local blog test agency would be happy to provide you with assistance, provided that you can prove there is an academic basis for your failure. Lack of success due to emotional, social, or economic issues are your problem. Good luck. :)

Props

C.Monks dedicated his latest post to Sandra Bullock, because of her incredible generosity. I am hoping that there are others with large amounts of money that they don't need (pretty much anyone who has been in a major motion picture or anyone who has made a top 40 hit) who step up to the plate as well.

I am going try to give those people a little love here in the next few days. Not that that will mean anything to them, but it's better than not thanking them at all. Please let me know if there is anyone who is deserving - famous or not. This is my list so far:

Amber and Ryan Hunt - Despite having two kids to raise (a common excuse for those who don't give - kids ARE expensive, after all), they managed to part with a substantial chunk of their earnings. Amber is also giving what spiritual assistance she can. Thank you, both.

Hamumu Software - It may not add up to the same as the big name companies can give, but Humumu is donating 25% of all sales for the month of January.

No Substance Software - I admit that I don't know much about this company, but what I have seen so far, impresses me. I have heard good things about the game, but what I really like is their attempts at improving the world.

Sandra Bullock - Just imagine if everyone who could afford it, gave this much...

Dooce.com - Dooce has the Google AdSense program set up on her blog. Through BlogAid, she will be giving all she earns in January to Red Cross. If you have a blog, you may want to think about joining her.

Wow. Poking around BlogAid, I found a list of blogs who are donating. I don't know most of these folks, but I want to give a big "THANK YOU" to all of them for caring.

If you are interested in donating:

BlogAid's list of agencies
Google's list of agencies
CNN's list of agencies
One click donating at Amazon.com

As Dooce (and I am sure many others) pointed out, the world supported us in our time of need, and now is the time for us to continue to circle. I know that there are always bills to pay and mouths to feed, but take a moment to compare what you have to what those in those devestated countries have right now. Please give what you can.

UPDATE: While I was in my favorite little ice cream shop (killing time before going to the gym, I'll have you know!), I learned that Doctors Without Borders has stopped taking donations for their tsunami relief fund. They said it was important for them to spend the money the way you intended and the $20 MILLION they have already received is all they can handle for this particular fund. They are asking those who still wish to donate to give to one of their many other funds. How honest. And how amazing. $20 million dollars. It's times like these when I actually like my species! :)

Helping Hand...

Obviously, my father knew what my goals were going to be and planned my Christmas present accordingly. I know this because I got a package in the mail today. It contained one perfect copy of Rise Up, Singing, a music fakebook I have been wanting for some time. This is going to help me a great deal with my guitar practice, because it contains just about every song I remember hearing played at friendly jam sessions with my family.

You see, I am a musical nitwit in an amalgamation of musical families. My father can sing. My mother can sing and play piano and dulcimer. My uncles and my daddy can sing and play a variety of guitars. My sister can play the flute, one brother can play the drums, and the other, the guitar. My parents friends - the adults I grew up with - can play drums and guitars and mandolins and saxaphones.

Although I took flute lessons and piano lessons and (as an adult) guitar lessons, I have always felt like the musical ugly duckling amongst my relatives. That didn't stop me from relishing the sing alongs that invariably began whenever people got together - often beside a roaring bonfire. Some of my best memories from my youth are of resting my head on my mother's lap, listening to folk songs fading one into the other. There are snippets of songs from Arlo Guthrie, Bob Dylan, Sally Rogers, and John Prine the bubble up in my head from time to time that I KNOW most people of my generation have never heard. For example:

It was late one night in the pale moonlight
and all the vegetables went on a spree.
They put out a sign that said "Dancin' at nine"
and all the admission was free.
...
Little tomato, agitator
shook the shimmey with the sweet potato.
And old man Garlic dropped dead with the colic
down at the barnyard dance - this morning -
down at the barnyard - early this morning -
down at the barnyard dance!

How many 26 year olds do YOU know that have even heard this song, much less had it running through their heads?

Um. What was my point? Oh, yeah. Despite always feeling slightly dim-witted about music, I have not given up on my attempts at learning a musical instrument. I know that I will never be great, but I have promised myself that I will eventually be capable of playing some of my old favorites on guitar. Thanks to my father, I now have a book-ful of those songs boiled down to their simplest. This is gonna be fun!

Bad Belly

Can I just tell you how irritating it is that my stomach chooses to tell me that it is hungry and I should eat by making me feel nauseated? As if that makes me want to eat! Stupid stomach.

Mayfly Revisited

OOh! How apropriate! As I started this post I was hearing these words...

Long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last.
~The Counting Crows~

Last year I participated in a little activity that asked you to sum up your year in 20 words or less. I found it while looking for last year's goals and I thought it might be fun to try it again.

I summed up 2003 like this.

2004
Things coming together. Family. Friends. Life.
Accidental balance. Coincidental joy.
Finding Peace within. Fighting Hate without.
Hope. Love. Growth. Bonsai.

The activity started here. I know it's not there anymore, but I wanted to give credit where credit was due as best I could.

GOAL!!!!!

I gave up on New Year's resolutions a long time ago. Setting a goal and then spending a year failing at it isn't my idea of a good time. However, for the last several years I have been taking time to pen a few goals. The important difference being that I don't have to flog myself with a wet noodle if I don't reach my goal. Even a little progress is something to be proud of. So, with no further ado, here are my goals for 2005:

Household Goals
~ Continue using the allowance system to get chores done. We seem to have found a system that gets enough done to keep me sane without causing strife between our two VERY DIFFERING ideas about how clean things should be.
~ Work on getting rid of unnecessary items in each room. I have a tendency to hoard things, mostly for sentimental reasons. Do I really need to keep that bottle of body wash that I don't like just because a very sweet student gave it to me as a gift? I don't think so, and it is time to do something about it.

Relationship Goals
~ Improve communications with family using the schedule that I developed some time ago. Rather than feeling obligated to use the telephone (which I hate), I should be using my newly freed up evenings to write letters and make cards.
~ Continue the monthly "game night" we started with friends. Who would have thought that "going out" and "doing things" could be so fun?? :)

Teaching Goals
~ Complete BTSA (new teacher training program) and renew CA teaching credential. (Look into renewing WI cred. as well.) This includes talking to the credential expert at the district to make sure that I have fulfilled all requirements.
~ Take a class on how to teach writing, especially narrative writing. This is a consistent weak spot for my teaching. I have confidence in my ability to make social studies and science interesting. I trust myself to instill a love of reading, and I have even developed a surprising competence with teaching math (understanding their confusion and fear helps a bunch!). Teaching the art of writing, however, leaves me in a cold sweat. I have this sneaking suspicion that the 5th grade teachers can all recognize students who were in my class by their rambling prose.

Learning Goals
~ Continue to study Spanish at home. I want to keep this informal and relaxed, since I know exactly what will happen if I start feeling pressured. I have very little patience for my own failures.
~ Resume taking formal guitar lessons, with the specific intent of learning to play "Happy Birthday" and a patriotic song (preferably My County 'Tis of Thee or America the Beautiful) that I can use in my class. This has to be formal because I don't have the knowledge base to teach myself and I have yet to find a computer program that will do the job.

Health Goals
~ Maintain weight. I am not unhappy with where I am (especially since I lost about 5 pounds in the process of giving the kidney), but I don't really want to gain anything.
~ Work out 3 times weekly. We were doing a good job of going to the gym fairly regularly before the surgery and it is time to pick that up again.
~ Continue vegetarian diet for another year. I have started taking a multi-vitamin so that I don't have to worry about my iron levels. We have also decided to start using our cookbooks more often so that we aren't stuck in the Spaghetti/Macaroni/Frozen Ravioli/Canned Soup rut anymore.

Financial Goals
(personal)
~ Earn at least $25 dollars spending money through chores each week. This is easy as long as I actually DO some chores, rather than sitting around on my lazy butt all weekend.
~ Set aside 1/2 of weekly earnings for donations/gifts to others.
(household)
~ Donate more money to charity. This is pretty vague, but we haven't gone over our finances closely enough to set an actual amount. This WILL be happening soon.
~ Adjust finances to find current income and revamp savings plan. This is something we do every January. I am actually quite impressed with our ability to plan financially.

Fun Goals
~ Have at least one craft project going at all times. I am going to use the time previously wasted on television for something useful and creative. Current projects include knitting and cross-stitching.
~ Take a trip to Mexico during spring break. I truly enjoyed being in Mexico the two times I went with my family, but this time we are going to be as un-touristy as possible. I want to see Mexico, not the inside of a resort designed to look like home.


**I spent some time searching my January archives, looking for my previous goals, and I can't find them. But I did find that I had some interesting things to say on a variety of subjects. How woulda thunk it? Of course, by "interesting" I mean "I wrote some stuff that doesn't sound stupid to me a year or two later". You might think differently.

Sol-cicle

I am really wondering what temperature you all set your thermostats at. We are having a bit of a debate about where ours should be. The trouble is balancing the need to limit the amount of fossil fuels we are burning up with the need to maintain a semi-comfortable body temp. I don't mind wearing layers, but I draw the line at beaking out my Mukluks for indoor use. Please tell me what is normal so we can figure out which of us is being unreasonable.

Feelin' Groovy

Things I noticed today:

1. On our trip around the block, I was standing completely upright and walking at my normal speed.

2. It doesn't feel like I am pressing on bruised muscles when I sit.

3. My stomach feels (but doesn't really look) smaller.

4. I can sit up using only my stomach muscles.

It has taken nearly 5 whole weeks, but the muscles in my abdomen seem to be returning to normal. Everything else has been wonderful for weeks, so this is really the last thing keeping me from being my old self. Hooray! I can now spend the next week working up my stamina a bit and I will be happy as a clam when I return to school.