Two Cents

I was just at a memorial service for the father of a student at my school. For the most part, it was a good service and I was happy to be there showing the family my support during this time of need. The following is in no way a criticism of them or the way they chose to remember their loved one...but instead is a collection of thoughts I had while there.

1. Why is it always someone who starts out saying "I never really knew..." who gets to do the talking? Is it because the people who did know the person are too emotional? Or because it is traditional to have a member of the clergy do the talking? Because if it the tradition thing - it sucks. At my memorial service, I want only people who knew me to be allowed to speak. If they can't, then y'all can just sit around looking at each other and thinking mean thoughts about me. I forbid someone to plug my name and statistics into a formulaic speech.

2. Does anyone else think it is inappropriate for the official of the church to turn a memorial service into a soapbox for "intelligent design" and the denouncement of evolution? If it had been in reference to the individual we were supposed to be honoring it would be one thing - I wouldn't agree, but I would understand. However, this was a complete segway from the purpose of our meeting and it was as though the pastor just got sidetracked ("I just KNOW that we don't come from a cosmic coincidence! I just KNOW IT.") only to remember what he was doing 5 minutes later (Ehm. So...as you are remembering..."). He even ended with an invitation for those who weren't part of his church to come see him afterwards. He turned the eulogy into an INFOMERCIAL!

Anyway. At the beginning of the service, I was actually thinking that I understood the need for church and envied them the emotional support they had during times of need. Who wouldn't like to have a whole roomful of people who know you and care for you? The pastor rapidly reminded me why I would rather rely on the smaller number of very close friends that I have and keep my ability to make decisions for myself. It is just too easy to hand over your ability to think in that kind of setting.