Actual Conversation

Sometimes I have a hard time believing the things that come out of my very own mouth. For example, this is what you would have overheard had you been in my room last week, just after I hung up from talking with the principal about a boy in my class (4th grade) who had kicked a little girl (1st grade) on the playground and given her a bruise.

We were already having a rough day as it was. I hung up and turned around with my Laser Eyes* already in place. The kids know from previous experience that this is Not Good. I begin:
"You know what I don't like? I don't like getting calls from the vice-principal telling me that kids in my class are beating up on 1st graders." I pause for them to murmur uncomfortably.

"You know what else? I don't like having to repeat myself 4 times just because kids aren't paying attention." I start picking up speed here. Obviously, I am venting some pent up frustrations.

"I don't like having to make kids sit in the hall to finish work because they thought they could sit and talk during worktime. I don't like having to remind kids of rules they have been aware of since the beginning of the year." By now the kids are looking very serious and I can hear that high-pitched, Dear God, This Thing's Gonna Blow quality coming into my voice. When this happens I have to decide what I am going to do with all that tension. Leave it hanging there over their heads (usually while I tell them to think about the problem) or defuse it and move on with the lesson in progress.

"I'm not having a good day today. Mrs. H is NOT happy and you know that is never a good thing. I have a suggestion for you all. For the rest of the day - you better be on your best behavior. Don't cross the line." I'm all set for a very subdued session of silent reading as they all contemplate how bad it is to make the teacher mad, when suddenly my mouth detaches from my brain and runs off on a rampage.

"In fact, it isn't really a line at all. That thing you don't want to cross is a Barbed Wire Fence!" I look around and drop my voice dramatically. "For the rest of the day, there is a barbed wire fence up and anyone who crosses the barbed wire fence is going. To. Get. Hurt." As I finish my sentence, the kids and I both start to laugh at the utter rediculousness of it all. The tension is relieved, the kids are On Their Best (they know that there was an underlying seriousness to what I was saying), and the day goes on as planned. Ever since then, they remind each other not to "cross the barbed wire" if things are getting out of hand.

I'm sure there are those who would be upset by the way I handled things, finding it inappropriate for me to suggest such a thing. I would have to ask if those people had ever tried to maintain their sanity in a room full of 31 (myself included) unique and powerful personalities, all vying for room and attention. Part of what makes teaching fun is that I can bare my emotions for these little people to examine and learn from. And what makes it moving is that those little people trust me enough to return the favor.

*I am a trained professional. Do not attempt to make the Laser Eyes without proper training. They are a powerful and dangerous weapon that should only be used in times of dire need.