and the world and hatred and anger and violence and their ability to intrude on and mar a perfectly good day. To hell with it all.
I can't live without my ideals and my ideals can't live in this reality. So what happens now?
Monday, May 31, 2004
Warning!! Political Soapbox Ahead!
I understand and agree that the military machine can only run with the fuel of those willing to take orders and go into battle in the name of "freedom" and "liberty", but I blame society, media, and the leaders of our country, not the young men and women who are being used as cannon fodder.
The way I see it, the children who are joining the military fall into two main categories. First, we have the ones from low-income families who see the military as a way to further their education and develop skills that would otherwise go unrealized. These kids feel that their only way out of the socio-economic pit they were born into is to get Uncle Sam to foot the bill. And Uncle Sammy doesn't do that out of the goodness of his heart. These kids may or may not know what they are getting themselves into, and they may or may not agree with it. Either way, they feel trapped by a unbalanced system.
The other group is a little different. These are the kids who are taught from day one that being part of the military is noble, glamorous, and necessary. They are given weapons as toys and fed a steady diet of pseudo-violence (ie. cartoons). These kids learn that a hero is someone who is bigger, stronger and meaner than all the rest. Thoughtfulness is discouraged because it interferes with their willingness to follow orders. These kids flock to the recruiting booths, not because they have to, but because they want to. Our society trains them from birth to be ready to sacrifice everything at the whim of a politician (provided the proper code words are said), and they learn their lesson well.
I can no more blame these kids for becoming part of the military machine than I can my own students for expressing ignorance and bigotry. They live what they learn*, and what they have learned is violence. Rather than condemning them for it, I acknowledge their point of view in hopes that they will then return the favor. I can't hope to counteract these beliefs unless they are willing to listen, and I can't hope to get them to listen unless they feel respected. It is a long, frustrating process that fails more often than it succeeds. But, as I have been told many times on this very blog, sometimes reaching just one person is enough.
And so, I refuse to condemn our soldiers for choosing to become soldiers. They are victims of a broken society, doing the best they know how. (NOTE: The choices they make once they are IN the military and exposed to the reality behind the propeganda are another topic for another rant.) I will reach out to each of them as the individuals that they are. I do not hesitate, however, to condemn our government for being an evil, corrupt entity run by evil, corrupt politicians who want little more than EVERYTHING and who will stop at nothing to get it. They are the ones who feed these rumors and lies to our youth, thrilled to know that they will have enough fuel for their machine for another generation.
End Soapbox. Treace (Truth and Peace) be with you. Have a beautiful day.
Thanks to Linkin Park for that particular phrase.
The way I see it, the children who are joining the military fall into two main categories. First, we have the ones from low-income families who see the military as a way to further their education and develop skills that would otherwise go unrealized. These kids feel that their only way out of the socio-economic pit they were born into is to get Uncle Sam to foot the bill. And Uncle Sammy doesn't do that out of the goodness of his heart. These kids may or may not know what they are getting themselves into, and they may or may not agree with it. Either way, they feel trapped by a unbalanced system.
The other group is a little different. These are the kids who are taught from day one that being part of the military is noble, glamorous, and necessary. They are given weapons as toys and fed a steady diet of pseudo-violence (ie. cartoons). These kids learn that a hero is someone who is bigger, stronger and meaner than all the rest. Thoughtfulness is discouraged because it interferes with their willingness to follow orders. These kids flock to the recruiting booths, not because they have to, but because they want to. Our society trains them from birth to be ready to sacrifice everything at the whim of a politician (provided the proper code words are said), and they learn their lesson well.
I can no more blame these kids for becoming part of the military machine than I can my own students for expressing ignorance and bigotry. They live what they learn*, and what they have learned is violence. Rather than condemning them for it, I acknowledge their point of view in hopes that they will then return the favor. I can't hope to counteract these beliefs unless they are willing to listen, and I can't hope to get them to listen unless they feel respected. It is a long, frustrating process that fails more often than it succeeds. But, as I have been told many times on this very blog, sometimes reaching just one person is enough.
And so, I refuse to condemn our soldiers for choosing to become soldiers. They are victims of a broken society, doing the best they know how. (NOTE: The choices they make once they are IN the military and exposed to the reality behind the propeganda are another topic for another rant.) I will reach out to each of them as the individuals that they are. I do not hesitate, however, to condemn our government for being an evil, corrupt entity run by evil, corrupt politicians who want little more than EVERYTHING and who will stop at nothing to get it. They are the ones who feed these rumors and lies to our youth, thrilled to know that they will have enough fuel for their machine for another generation.
End Soapbox. Treace (Truth and Peace) be with you. Have a beautiful day.
Thanks to Linkin Park for that particular phrase.
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Mem-reeeeeeees!
Wow. My blogiversary flew right by and I didn't even notice. I have now been writing regularly on this thing for 2 whole years. Let's take a little trip down memory lane...
My first post ever. Not very exciting.
Also posted on that first day. I would say that I have done a pretty good job of upholding that promise to myself.
Two years ago today. Actually two years ago yesterday. Ahh...the joys of planning a wedding!
After one year of blogging. Nope, didn't get any more interesting. I remember how stressed I was while waiting for the district to decide what they were going to do with me, though. Sheesh.
One year ago today. I haven't been doing OneWord much lately, but I should be. It was great for the imagination. And so quick, too.
After two years of blogging. I have taken to summarizing my whole week in long, boring posts. I can't wait for school to be done, so I can spend more time writing things worth reading.
My first post ever. Not very exciting.
Also posted on that first day. I would say that I have done a pretty good job of upholding that promise to myself.
Two years ago today. Actually two years ago yesterday. Ahh...the joys of planning a wedding!
After one year of blogging. Nope, didn't get any more interesting. I remember how stressed I was while waiting for the district to decide what they were going to do with me, though. Sheesh.
One year ago today. I haven't been doing OneWord much lately, but I should be. It was great for the imagination. And so quick, too.
After two years of blogging. I have taken to summarizing my whole week in long, boring posts. I can't wait for school to be done, so I can spend more time writing things worth reading.
Amen
This post is dedicated to all the men and women who have died fighting wars that would better have been fought by the political figures who started them, but most especially to Pfc. Moises Langhorst and Pfc. Matthew Milczark. May you all be in a more peaceful place.
Although I don't read Acidman's blog regularly anymore (I took his advice about staying away if I didn't like what he was saying), but I am occasionally drawn there, much like your eyes are drawn to the sight of ambulances on the side of the road. You know you don't really want to see what's there, but you have to know all the same. Anyway, there are the rare days when I am not enraged by the posts Rob makes. In fact, there are days when I am 100% in agreement. This was one of those days.
You all know how I feel about war and killing. That doesn't negate my gratitude for the men, women, and (let's face it) children who have risked and often given their lives to ensure that mine is easy and comfortable. I despise the kind of thinking it takes to put our people in those situations, and I will do everything I can to change it, but I don't blame the soldiers for doing what they were trained to do. I could go into this more, but it is too nice a day to ruin with political pontification.
Thank you all for your sacrifice. I'm so very sorry that it was asked of you.
Although I don't read Acidman's blog regularly anymore (I took his advice about staying away if I didn't like what he was saying), but I am occasionally drawn there, much like your eyes are drawn to the sight of ambulances on the side of the road. You know you don't really want to see what's there, but you have to know all the same. Anyway, there are the rare days when I am not enraged by the posts Rob makes. In fact, there are days when I am 100% in agreement. This was one of those days.
You all know how I feel about war and killing. That doesn't negate my gratitude for the men, women, and (let's face it) children who have risked and often given their lives to ensure that mine is easy and comfortable. I despise the kind of thinking it takes to put our people in those situations, and I will do everything I can to change it, but I don't blame the soldiers for doing what they were trained to do. I could go into this more, but it is too nice a day to ruin with political pontification.
Thank you all for your sacrifice. I'm so very sorry that it was asked of you.
The Baby
(You really don't want to know what I nearly titled this post. Let's just say that I have a serious potty mouth, considering that I am an elementary school teacher, and leave it at that.)
So, we are adding a new member to our family. No - despite all of my father's wishes, we are not having an actual baby. A thousand times, NO. But we are providing him with yet another grandkitten. Because two cats in not enough.
Here is our new baby, surveying his new home from the safety of Daddy's shoulder.
When my colorful new bowl arrived, Bonsai was the first to try it out. (Don't worry, we washed it.)
He quickly explored the whole house:
He's just a little kitten baby innocent,
but the big kitties are more than a little concerned
about this whirling dervish that has joined the family.
So, we are adding a new member to our family. No - despite all of my father's wishes, we are not having an actual baby. A thousand times, NO. But we are providing him with yet another grandkitten. Because two cats in not enough.
Here is our new baby, surveying his new home from the safety of Daddy's shoulder.
When my colorful new bowl arrived, Bonsai was the first to try it out. (Don't worry, we washed it.)
He quickly explored the whole house:
He's just a little kitten baby innocent,
but the big kitties are more than a little concerned
about this whirling dervish that has joined the family.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
TROGDOR!! The Burninator!
Since my actual birthday, I have received the following items...
1 copy of Al Franken's book "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them"
1 copy of Stephen King's book "The Talisman"
1 t-shirt featuring one of my favorite characters - Strong Bad
4 window stickies, each featuring a different HomeStarRunner character
1 Strong Badia keychain in the shape of a stop sign (of course)
assorted birthday money
and possibly a kitten - but that hinges on how cooperative the big boss and the little boss are.
It's the birthday that keeps on giving!
1 copy of Al Franken's book "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them"
1 copy of Stephen King's book "The Talisman"
1 t-shirt featuring one of my favorite characters - Strong Bad
4 window stickies, each featuring a different HomeStarRunner character
1 Strong Badia keychain in the shape of a stop sign (of course)
assorted birthday money
and possibly a kitten - but that hinges on how cooperative the big boss and the little boss are.
It's the birthday that keeps on giving!
Monday, May 24, 2004
Happy Birthday...
TO ME! Cha-cha-cha!
Yep, it is that time of year again. Today marks the 26th anniversary of my arrival on this beautiful blue and green planet. It has been a wonderful day full of good cheer, well-behaved (at least mostly) children, meals eaten in the company of loved ones, and plans going more smoothly than hoped for.
My summer gardening this year is going to be heavenly. I have a new garden cart to use when hauling leaves and clippings to the new compost that my darling BUILT for me. I have a new pitchfork for turning the goodies in my compost into dirt. I have a new album to listen to while I am hard at work (although I have not had a chance to listen to it yet, the sender has always had impeccable taste in the past, so I am sure it will be wonderful). And I have a lovely new Kalanchoe which will most likely be an indoor plant, since a frosty night nearly killed off my other one.
My in-laws are coming soon to take me to dinner and my co-workers took me to lunch earlier. My students planned and presented a delightful talent show this afternoon, made up of a variety of acts (singing, acting, karate demonstrations, juggling, origami folding, as well as guitar, piano and Tumbi playing). The sun is shining. The grass is green. And I am as happy as a clam. At high tide. And that is pretty darn happy.
Yep, it is that time of year again. Today marks the 26th anniversary of my arrival on this beautiful blue and green planet. It has been a wonderful day full of good cheer, well-behaved (at least mostly) children, meals eaten in the company of loved ones, and plans going more smoothly than hoped for.
My summer gardening this year is going to be heavenly. I have a new garden cart to use when hauling leaves and clippings to the new compost that my darling BUILT for me. I have a new pitchfork for turning the goodies in my compost into dirt. I have a new album to listen to while I am hard at work (although I have not had a chance to listen to it yet, the sender has always had impeccable taste in the past, so I am sure it will be wonderful). And I have a lovely new Kalanchoe which will most likely be an indoor plant, since a frosty night nearly killed off my other one.
My in-laws are coming soon to take me to dinner and my co-workers took me to lunch earlier. My students planned and presented a delightful talent show this afternoon, made up of a variety of acts (singing, acting, karate demonstrations, juggling, origami folding, as well as guitar, piano and Tumbi playing). The sun is shining. The grass is green. And I am as happy as a clam. At high tide. And that is pretty darn happy.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Kingdom of Loathing
Mikey has introduced me to this fun little game. Actually, it is a fun little Beta version of a game. It is free. And did I mention that it is fun? The only trouble is that you only get to play a certain number of adventures each day. Sad.
Extreme Living
It seems as though I am nothing but extremes these days. I regularly run the gamut of intense emotions - anger, frustration, awe, adoration - cycling through them at breakneck speed with no time to rest inbetween. I am either raging at the stupidity of our government or agonizing over the trials of the end of the year. I am tired of writing about such things, having nothing new to add to my previous ramblings. However, I have neither the time, nor the inclination to search out something interesting to discuss. I am sure there are topics worth investinging, but you won't find them here. Sorry.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Still
"Signs" is still one of the scariest movies I have ever seen. Even after seeing it several times. It also happens to be one of the best stories I have heard. I sure hope you have seen it.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Gluttony
Being as I LIKE to be tortured and I THRIVE on challenges, I have allowed my students to move their desks back into groups for the first time since before the winter break. I know that they will drive me nuts with the talking and the note passing and the generally inappropriate behavior. But, dammit, it is 4 weeks from the end of school, we have just spent a solid week on testing, and I want them to remember fourth grade with a tiny bit of fondness. So, I am sentencing myself to 4 weeks of aforementioned behaviors which I will tolerate because these are KIDS, not COLLEGE STUDENTS. So there.**
**I am writing this here so I have something to read each day when I am wondering "just what in Spongebob's name I was thinking with that seating arrangement".
**I am writing this here so I have something to read each day when I am wondering "just what in Spongebob's name I was thinking with that seating arrangement".
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Checked Out
I am so DONE with this year. I know that we still have 4.666666666666 weeks left, but my brain has checked out. I don't want to do any more planning. I don't want to do any more morning duty. I don't want to problems solve, bandage, question, test, or clean up after anymore. I am finished encouraging, asking, begging, PLEADING with kids to give me just 5 more minutes of their attention. I am tired of competing with video games, cartoons, lunch breaks, and playground gossip every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I don't have any more patience or energy or creativity left. My soul is lying on some sun-drenched beach, soaking up the briny air and daydreaming. My heart is lounging in my lush, verdant back yard, whispering to flowers and trees and tomato seedlings. My mind is surfing the web, reading about people I have never met, creating wishlists that don't need to be fulfilled, and researching whatever vapid, fleeting interest it happens to have.
My body is plodding through the days until it can join them all.
My body is plodding through the days until it can join them all.
On the other Hand
And then there are the not-so-great things about living in SoCal.
I could fit 3, yes 3, of my house in my cousin's house. And she could buy her house twice (if not more) with what I paid. Ugh.
I could fit 3, yes 3, of my house in my cousin's house. And she could buy her house twice (if not more) with what I paid. Ugh.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Puzzled
It confuses me to listen to people discuss things like self-esteem, peace, love, acceptance, understanding, and tolerance as though they are bad things.
It terrifies me to listen to people discuss things like war, suffering, torture, pain, and hatred as though they are unavoidable things.
It terrifies me to listen to people discuss things like war, suffering, torture, pain, and hatred as though they are unavoidable things.
Desperation
Mikey turned on the TV while we were eating a late lunch today. As I feared, all they were talking about was Iraq, torture and dying soldiers. They showed footage and short interviews with men who have been injured during the war. These men - hardly more than boys - are now going to live their entire lives with missing limbs, damaged eyes, sagging faces. They spoke of nightmares and flashbacks. They look and sound like veterans, which they are. We have a new generation of physically and psychologically damaged people. How can anyone watch the news these days without crying or throwing up? How can we look at what has happened to our species without dispairing for the future? How can we not see that all the labels - "American", "terrorist", "liberal", "Republican" - are nothing but labels, meant to destinguish between "us" and "them". How can we look at the world today and not see that there is something drastically wrong?
Friday, May 14, 2004
Egads!
Where has this week gone? Here it is already Friday and I haven't even gotten unpacked because of the busy. Testing is going well (as well as it can, considering how evil and wrong it is, but that is another post)in my classroom. The kids have been working very hard (I truly think most of them are doing their best...not the overwhelming norm, unfortunately) and I have gotten lots of little things done in the 2 hours every morning that they are occupied with multiple choice questions designed to trick and confuse. (Oops...that other post is slipping in!)
It was also Teacher Appreciation Week at our school and I have been flooded with food and gifts and hugs and letters. This is the best week of the whole year, when you actually get tangible recognition for your efforts. For the rest of the year I am content to work for internal rewards...but a few external ones don't hurt now and again.
My house is a disaster area, although we did manage to get some dishes done last night. The laundry and my as yet unpacked suitcases are covering most of the bedroom floor. I suppose if I were to put the clean laundry away, I would have baskets to put the dirty laundry...but it seems like such a waste when I can just take things directly from the basket and skip all that dresser/closet crap. Hehe.
Tomorrow, my friend, mentor, and co-worker "C" is graduating from Grad school. She invited another co-worker and me to attend the ceremony (mostly because she wanted someone to run the video camera!) and I am thrilled to help her celebrate the hard work she has been doing. She is an amazing teacher and I hope that I can be 1/2 as good someday.
In other news, I have been studiously avoiding all news, since it is all depressing crap anyway. I have watched many episodes of Evangelion and Sopranos, as well as Super Troopers. I am happy (and a little ashamed) to say that I have pretty much ignored the real world and its troubles for the entire week. (I am "live in the now" kind of person these days. The future is too freakin' ugly.) Now I am off to sleep, perchance to dream, but more likely to just get rested up for a UberCleaning Day. Goodnight.
It was also Teacher Appreciation Week at our school and I have been flooded with food and gifts and hugs and letters. This is the best week of the whole year, when you actually get tangible recognition for your efforts. For the rest of the year I am content to work for internal rewards...but a few external ones don't hurt now and again.
My house is a disaster area, although we did manage to get some dishes done last night. The laundry and my as yet unpacked suitcases are covering most of the bedroom floor. I suppose if I were to put the clean laundry away, I would have baskets to put the dirty laundry...but it seems like such a waste when I can just take things directly from the basket and skip all that dresser/closet crap. Hehe.
Tomorrow, my friend, mentor, and co-worker "C" is graduating from Grad school. She invited another co-worker and me to attend the ceremony (mostly because she wanted someone to run the video camera!) and I am thrilled to help her celebrate the hard work she has been doing. She is an amazing teacher and I hope that I can be 1/2 as good someday.
In other news, I have been studiously avoiding all news, since it is all depressing crap anyway. I have watched many episodes of Evangelion and Sopranos, as well as Super Troopers. I am happy (and a little ashamed) to say that I have pretty much ignored the real world and its troubles for the entire week. (I am "live in the now" kind of person these days. The future is too freakin' ugly.) Now I am off to sleep, perchance to dream, but more likely to just get rested up for a UberCleaning Day. Goodnight.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Oh, No, You Didn't!
I had to turn my radio off the other day as I was listening to the political discussions of the Iraq torture incident. I just couldn't stand to hear another microsecond of the the noise coming out of the mouth of one of the politicians.
First, he stated that he was less upset by the actual torture than he was by the upset that was caused by the discovery of the torture. He explained that this was because he couldn't see what the big deal was. I mean, really. These people were terrorists. Is it really all that bad that we are torturing them? Don't they, in fact, have it coming to them? Okay, maybe those weren't the actual words that he used, but they may as well have been. The ones he used meant exactly the same thing. He actually said that the Iraqis we were torturing probably woke up every day and thanked Allah that they weren't being held by Saddam's regime. I'm sure that would have been true - IF THEY HADN'T BEEN SO BUSY BEING TORTURED!!! Good lord.
The second part of his speech that pissed me off was that he totally hung those soldiers out to dry. I, too, am shocked and appalled at what they did and I hope that they are punished for it, but I don't think it is appropriate for them to take the full blame. Our government is using them as whipping boys to keep the attention off of the people, events and society that actually led to them thinking it would be a good idea to torture someone. They made a mistake - a doozy of one, if you ask me - but I cannot believe that they were the only ones doing it. And I cannot believe that their actions would have been so reviled had the press not gotten ahold of the information.
I am saddened to know that these are the kinds of things that we are doing (and before anyone flames me - I am aware that this is not the norm, but even one instance makes my point) and this is the example we are setting. If we are going to demand that everyone accept us in the role of All Knowing and Powerful Judge of Everything, then hadn't we better live up to that title?
Or better yet, we could step down off of our high horse, admit that we don't actually know everything, and let people make their own decisions. Yeah, right.
First, he stated that he was less upset by the actual torture than he was by the upset that was caused by the discovery of the torture. He explained that this was because he couldn't see what the big deal was. I mean, really. These people were terrorists. Is it really all that bad that we are torturing them? Don't they, in fact, have it coming to them? Okay, maybe those weren't the actual words that he used, but they may as well have been. The ones he used meant exactly the same thing. He actually said that the Iraqis we were torturing probably woke up every day and thanked Allah that they weren't being held by Saddam's regime. I'm sure that would have been true - IF THEY HADN'T BEEN SO BUSY BEING TORTURED!!! Good lord.
The second part of his speech that pissed me off was that he totally hung those soldiers out to dry. I, too, am shocked and appalled at what they did and I hope that they are punished for it, but I don't think it is appropriate for them to take the full blame. Our government is using them as whipping boys to keep the attention off of the people, events and society that actually led to them thinking it would be a good idea to torture someone. They made a mistake - a doozy of one, if you ask me - but I cannot believe that they were the only ones doing it. And I cannot believe that their actions would have been so reviled had the press not gotten ahold of the information.
I am saddened to know that these are the kinds of things that we are doing (and before anyone flames me - I am aware that this is not the norm, but even one instance makes my point) and this is the example we are setting. If we are going to demand that everyone accept us in the role of All Knowing and Powerful Judge of Everything, then hadn't we better live up to that title?
Or better yet, we could step down off of our high horse, admit that we don't actually know everything, and let people make their own decisions. Yeah, right.
Where am I??
An appropriate title for many reasons!
1. I know I have been gone for many moons. Okay, maybe just about a week, but it seems like longer. I took a breif trip to the beautiful Northwoods to help my mother go through boxes and boxes of Stuff. We have moved my Grandmother into assisted living and in order to sell her house, we had to clear it out. We spent most of Mother's Day weekend opening boxes that had been packed 10+ years ago, ooohing over the contents, and then making big piles of "Things to Keep", "Things to Throw", and "Things to Sell". Despite our best efforts, the "Things to Keep" pile took on a life of its own. I came home with twice as much luggage as I left with.
2. Today was my first blogging for nearly a week, as I mentioned before, and it seems that the Blogger folks have been hard at work. I hardly recognize the place. I will explore all my new options shortly. For now, I just hope that everything is working properly.
3. We are doing testing at school for the next 5 days. This week we are doing the CA testing and next week we are doing the National testing. Then a couple weeks from now, we have to do the district testing. Bleh. But my class has been hanging in there. They worked VERY hard this morning, with hardly a peep coming out of any of them. It was enough to make me wonder what had happened to the crazy kids I usually have.
All this is enough to leave me asking "Where am I?" like a head trauma victim. Only happier. For now, I am glad just to be able to say that I am HOME.
1. I know I have been gone for many moons. Okay, maybe just about a week, but it seems like longer. I took a breif trip to the beautiful Northwoods to help my mother go through boxes and boxes of Stuff. We have moved my Grandmother into assisted living and in order to sell her house, we had to clear it out. We spent most of Mother's Day weekend opening boxes that had been packed 10+ years ago, ooohing over the contents, and then making big piles of "Things to Keep", "Things to Throw", and "Things to Sell". Despite our best efforts, the "Things to Keep" pile took on a life of its own. I came home with twice as much luggage as I left with.
2. Today was my first blogging for nearly a week, as I mentioned before, and it seems that the Blogger folks have been hard at work. I hardly recognize the place. I will explore all my new options shortly. For now, I just hope that everything is working properly.
3. We are doing testing at school for the next 5 days. This week we are doing the CA testing and next week we are doing the National testing. Then a couple weeks from now, we have to do the district testing. Bleh. But my class has been hanging in there. They worked VERY hard this morning, with hardly a peep coming out of any of them. It was enough to make me wonder what had happened to the crazy kids I usually have.
All this is enough to leave me asking "Where am I?" like a head trauma victim. Only happier. For now, I am glad just to be able to say that I am HOME.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Progress Check
Remember that list of things I had to do before I could leave for MN? Let's see how I have done on it, shall we?
Write celebrations for 10 students
Done. With 5 minutes to spare.
Grade oodles of papers
Never done, but I am not falling any further behind. That's a good thing.
Put said oodles of grades into the computer
Ditto.
Write progress reports for 27 students (an improvement on the 34 that I had to write last time!)
Done. Hooray! And I have lots of kids who are doing very well and/or showing lots of improvement.
Watch two 3 hour tapes for my CLAD class
I did a marathon video night last night and got completely done. Now if only the others would get their tapes done too...
Write sub plans
Check. I hope they make sense and go well. Thank goodness I have the utmost faith in this sub.
Plan my trip
Done. Of course, I might want to PACK SOMETHING, since I leave TOMORROW! Sigh.
Prepare my students for upcoming CAT/6 testing
Riiiiiiight. There is no preparing this group for standardized tests. And they moved the start date up by 1/2 a week. Bastards.
Clean my house
Um. Kinda. We did get the dishes done tonight. After not doing them since Sunday. Double sigh.
Put away the clothes that have been clean and wrinkling in baskets for nearly a week (I HATE wrinkled clothes, too!)
Hehe. I folded them the other day, but they are still in baskets in the living room. A new load is wrinkling in the dryer as I type. Guess I better go fold them or I will be packing nothing but wrinkled clothes before school tomorrow!
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I guess I am ready to go.
Write celebrations for 10 students
Done. With 5 minutes to spare.
Grade oodles of papers
Never done, but I am not falling any further behind. That's a good thing.
Put said oodles of grades into the computer
Ditto.
Write progress reports for 27 students (an improvement on the 34 that I had to write last time!)
Done. Hooray! And I have lots of kids who are doing very well and/or showing lots of improvement.
Watch two 3 hour tapes for my CLAD class
I did a marathon video night last night and got completely done. Now if only the others would get their tapes done too...
Write sub plans
Check. I hope they make sense and go well. Thank goodness I have the utmost faith in this sub.
Plan my trip
Done. Of course, I might want to PACK SOMETHING, since I leave TOMORROW! Sigh.
Prepare my students for upcoming CAT/6 testing
Riiiiiiight. There is no preparing this group for standardized tests. And they moved the start date up by 1/2 a week. Bastards.
Clean my house
Um. Kinda. We did get the dishes done tonight. After not doing them since Sunday. Double sigh.
Put away the clothes that have been clean and wrinkling in baskets for nearly a week (I HATE wrinkled clothes, too!)
Hehe. I folded them the other day, but they are still in baskets in the living room. A new load is wrinkling in the dryer as I type. Guess I better go fold them or I will be packing nothing but wrinkled clothes before school tomorrow!
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I guess I am ready to go.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
The Reason
Although I wouldn't say I have a favorite student, I have become fond of one in particular. He is a very bright kid who has been moved around quite a bit and who obviously has many mini holes in his education. You know, little things missing that prevent him from getting the bigger things. This is through no fault of his own, but it has compounded enough over the years to leave him feeling like a failure.
When he entered my class this year, he basically refused to put any effort into his learning, prefering to spend his time making other kids laugh. The obvious lesson in his life was that it was much less painful to just sit back and let life go on around you, than it was to put yourself at risk of becoming emotionally attached to anything - friends or work. He NEVER did his homework, hated to read, and could not relate to his peers in any kind of a normal way. He got in trouble in class, in the halls, on the playground, at the library.
As time passed, I realized that this child was getting very little attention at home. His parents, although I am sure they try, are too preoccupied or overwhelmed or both to provide the stable environment needed to promote organization in a 4th grader. Conferences were had, phone calls were made, notes were sent home, all to no avail. Although his behavior in class was gradually improving, he was still failing EVERYTHING due to missing assignments and complete lack of effort.
Throughout the year, I have communicated with this student in every way possible. I have talked, listened, argued, explained, taught, re-taught, smiled, visited, joked, laughed, and battled with him. I have shown him every single day that I care about him, trust him, and respect him. I have demanded his best and accepted nothing less. Most of all, I have loved him.
Recently, he wrote a tear-jerking personal narrative about moving from one school to another. He went out on a limb, exposing his innermost feelings and he did it using beautiful, descriptive language. He took a chance at writing and discovered that he has a talent for it. He was glowing when I shared a particularly powerful simile from his story as an example for the whole class.
This isn't to say that he has become the perfect student. He still drives me crazy, forgetting to turn in his homework on a regular basis. He still slacks off when I'm not looking. He still occasionally has trouble relating to his peers. But I can see that he is personally invested in his own success now. He is no longer content to let his education flow around him. He has realized that he is capable of so much more than he ever knew, and he likes it.
Among all the little things that make teaching worthwhile, and there are lots of them, that is The Reason.
When he entered my class this year, he basically refused to put any effort into his learning, prefering to spend his time making other kids laugh. The obvious lesson in his life was that it was much less painful to just sit back and let life go on around you, than it was to put yourself at risk of becoming emotionally attached to anything - friends or work. He NEVER did his homework, hated to read, and could not relate to his peers in any kind of a normal way. He got in trouble in class, in the halls, on the playground, at the library.
As time passed, I realized that this child was getting very little attention at home. His parents, although I am sure they try, are too preoccupied or overwhelmed or both to provide the stable environment needed to promote organization in a 4th grader. Conferences were had, phone calls were made, notes were sent home, all to no avail. Although his behavior in class was gradually improving, he was still failing EVERYTHING due to missing assignments and complete lack of effort.
Throughout the year, I have communicated with this student in every way possible. I have talked, listened, argued, explained, taught, re-taught, smiled, visited, joked, laughed, and battled with him. I have shown him every single day that I care about him, trust him, and respect him. I have demanded his best and accepted nothing less. Most of all, I have loved him.
Recently, he wrote a tear-jerking personal narrative about moving from one school to another. He went out on a limb, exposing his innermost feelings and he did it using beautiful, descriptive language. He took a chance at writing and discovered that he has a talent for it. He was glowing when I shared a particularly powerful simile from his story as an example for the whole class.
This isn't to say that he has become the perfect student. He still drives me crazy, forgetting to turn in his homework on a regular basis. He still slacks off when I'm not looking. He still occasionally has trouble relating to his peers. But I can see that he is personally invested in his own success now. He is no longer content to let his education flow around him. He has realized that he is capable of so much more than he ever knew, and he likes it.
Among all the little things that make teaching worthwhile, and there are lots of them, that is The Reason.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Fear of Fire
The Temecula fire is still burning. I have little to no information about it (Temecula doesn't have its own local news channel) and I am not very comfortable with that state of affairs. Mikey assures me that the fire is far away and moving in the other direction, but as we drove home from the grocery store I got a direct look at the hill that is currently ablaze (as fate would have it, that just happens to be one of our vocabulary words this week) and learned something about myself. I have a vary strong, deep-seated fear of fire. The moment I saw those flames in the distance, licking at the edge of that mountain, my stomach clenched up in a ball and I had to look away.
This is somewhat of a revelation to me, as I have always enjoyed fire (while maintaining a respectful care, of course). My family regularly attended and often hosted friendly bonfire get-togethers as a kid. Who doesn't like poking the red-hot embers with a stick and making "bees" fly up into the air? I love roasting marshmallows and I find candles highly romantic. Curling up in front of a roaring fire, in the middle of the winter, with a thick fluffy blanket, a steaming cup of cocoa and a good book is one of my favorite past-times.
But those are all examples of fire under the control of humans. Wildfires, brush fires, forest fires, house fires...these are all different. These are all scary and big and strong. Fire has been around for a long, long time and although we pretend that we control it (much like we pretend to control most of this planet), it, in fact, has control over us. Fire goes where it wants, consumes what it wants and all we can do is clean up afterwards, hoping to get lucky the next time around. I guess the same can be said for just about any natural disaster.
It just so happens that fire is the natural disaster hanging around my neck of the woods today.
This is somewhat of a revelation to me, as I have always enjoyed fire (while maintaining a respectful care, of course). My family regularly attended and often hosted friendly bonfire get-togethers as a kid. Who doesn't like poking the red-hot embers with a stick and making "bees" fly up into the air? I love roasting marshmallows and I find candles highly romantic. Curling up in front of a roaring fire, in the middle of the winter, with a thick fluffy blanket, a steaming cup of cocoa and a good book is one of my favorite past-times.
But those are all examples of fire under the control of humans. Wildfires, brush fires, forest fires, house fires...these are all different. These are all scary and big and strong. Fire has been around for a long, long time and although we pretend that we control it (much like we pretend to control most of this planet), it, in fact, has control over us. Fire goes where it wants, consumes what it wants and all we can do is clean up afterwards, hoping to get lucky the next time around. I guess the same can be said for just about any natural disaster.
It just so happens that fire is the natural disaster hanging around my neck of the woods today.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Hot News
In a bizarre repeat of what happened to us last weekend, we came home from our day of swimming and playing to this sight...
Being as this smoke cloud was much closer than the Anza fire from last weekend, we decided to take a close look.
It turns out that it isn't close enough to really worry about. That doesn't mean that my mind isn't running through a list of things that would be packed into the car first, however.
It seems there are several different brush fires burning in Riverside county today, promting the fire guys to declare tomorrow the official start of fire season. One day too late, I would say. Ours was shown on the map, but didn't rate specific mention.
Being as this smoke cloud was much closer than the Anza fire from last weekend, we decided to take a close look.
It turns out that it isn't close enough to really worry about. That doesn't mean that my mind isn't running through a list of things that would be packed into the car first, however.
It seems there are several different brush fires burning in Riverside county today, promting the fire guys to declare tomorrow the official start of fire season. One day too late, I would say. Ours was shown on the map, but didn't rate specific mention.
Gardening Pics
I finally downloaded some pictures of my new, revamped yards.
This is the junky side of our house. Previously it was all weeds. We planted a wild flower mix along both sides and hopefully we will remember to water them often enough to get them to grow.
This is the garden side. The raised beds are new. And now we even have plants in them. For example:
...these little bean guys who are slowly unfurling their baby leaves.
And here are the new flowers (gerbera daisies, celosia, and zinnias) in the front bed. The iceplant previously planted here died, so we planted with something a little more thirsty. Unfortunately, with the 100 degree weather we have been having this week, they are a little TOO thirsty. Many are sadly wilted by the end of each day. I don't know how many are going to survive.
This is the junky side of our house. Previously it was all weeds. We planted a wild flower mix along both sides and hopefully we will remember to water them often enough to get them to grow.
This is the garden side. The raised beds are new. And now we even have plants in them. For example:
...these little bean guys who are slowly unfurling their baby leaves.
And here are the new flowers (gerbera daisies, celosia, and zinnias) in the front bed. The iceplant previously planted here died, so we planted with something a little more thirsty. Unfortunately, with the 100 degree weather we have been having this week, they are a little TOO thirsty. Many are sadly wilted by the end of each day. I don't know how many are going to survive.
Wacky Day
Friday was Wacky Dress Up Day at our school. The fourth grade teachers got WAY into it. This is what I looked like:
Pretty wacky, huh? :)
Pretty wacky, huh? :)
More people need to hear that...
"Failure is an event, never a person." ~ William D. Brown
This is going to go up in my classroom starting on Monday.
This is going to go up in my classroom starting on Monday.
Hi Ho! Hi Ho!
It's off to the pool we go! It has been in the 90's lately and the in-laws are still on vacation. We are going to go fulfill our house-sitting duties with pleasure! :)
Saturday, May 01, 2004
It's MAY!
Hehe...only 23 days until my birthday. :) I am not one of those girls who refuses to tell anyone that my birthday is coming up. I am like the 3 year old who tells anyone and everyone. Birthdays are fun and exciting and I love them. I hope I never turn into one of those people who pretend they aren't getting any older. I am proud to be getting older. I have a whole year's worth of experience that I didn't have before. I know more things and I am able to do more things. I can't wait until I am old enough to really know what I am doing. Anyone know when that will be? 30? 45? 73? :) I know it won't ever feel like I know what I am doing, but with each year I add, I get a little bit closer. Bring on those birthdays, and make them BIG AND LOUD! :)
Hostess-ing
We just finished watching Airplane with a co-worker of mine and her husband. It was fun, and we talked afterwards about this and that. I can't help feeling, however, that I am a lousy hostess. I never know just what to say and I feel very awkward about the introductions and the "can I get you anything?" and the sitting and making small talk. It just isn't something that comes naturally. I often worry that people don't like coming to my house because it is stiff and awkward while they are here.
There are lots of little things about our lifestyle that cause this discomfort - we don't drink, so we have no alcohol. We don't drink caffeine, so our soda choices are limited to Sprite and Root Beer. We don't eat meat, so we serve lots of veggies and pasta and rice. (When your guests are on the Atkin's diet, this can be a REAL problem!) Our house is small, with a limited amount of seating. And neither of us is used to entertaining. It all adds up to stilted conversation and post-party regrets (I can't believe I forgot to offer him water!)
Of course, I also wonder how much of that is strictly in my head. Perhaps my guests don't feel the same way I do and I am simply being too hard on myself. I have been known to do that. But something tells me that it isn't entirely true. I just hope that my friends will stick around long enough to learn that that is just one of my (many) little quirks and learn to overlook it.
There are lots of little things about our lifestyle that cause this discomfort - we don't drink, so we have no alcohol. We don't drink caffeine, so our soda choices are limited to Sprite and Root Beer. We don't eat meat, so we serve lots of veggies and pasta and rice. (When your guests are on the Atkin's diet, this can be a REAL problem!) Our house is small, with a limited amount of seating. And neither of us is used to entertaining. It all adds up to stilted conversation and post-party regrets (I can't believe I forgot to offer him water!)
Of course, I also wonder how much of that is strictly in my head. Perhaps my guests don't feel the same way I do and I am simply being too hard on myself. I have been known to do that. But something tells me that it isn't entirely true. I just hope that my friends will stick around long enough to learn that that is just one of my (many) little quirks and learn to overlook it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
