Posted by Mikey

It is 12:43 on Tuesday, November 30th. I have been short one kidney for a whole day now. Things are going as perfectly as could be expected. Amy and I are both peeing. I have been up walking for two laps around the nurse's station, as well as getting up to pee twice. The only really bad part was when they tried to get me up last night and I ended up dry heaving. Dry heaving with muscles that have been recently sewn together is not something I would recommend to anyone. I suspect I scared the girl next door (she was there having a benign tumor removed from her jawline) when I cried, "Oh, God!" each time I heaved. It hurt so much that I didn't even care. I just wanted to cry. I felt much better during the night - there were moments when I actually contemplated calling the nurse in to have me go for a walk - but I just dozed on and off instead. This morning, they removed the catheter (not nearly as painful as I feared) and disconnected me from the IV fluids. Now, I am already up to a regular diet, having proven that my bowels are working by producing a long fart. Yay, me! Unfortunately, I am not particularly hungry. The pain in my stomach is bearable, but tends to overwhelm everything else. Except for the pain in my shoulder from the inflato-gas. That is overwhelming in and of itself. Mostly because it doesn't respond to pain meds. Ah, well. It will go away soon, they tell me.

Update by Mikey after this was written: she woke up later very much hungry, and her grilled cheese sandwich vanished. Then she took a walk around the ward, then later another walk down the hall, into a wheelchair, then up to visit Amy's room. She's doing perfectly, with the only problem being the inflato-gas pains. We will be leaving tomorrow after I have another wonderful night on a recliner. At least the nurses will be poking in on us a lot less often during the night this time. Which probably just means my back will have time to settle into a spine-shattering position before I can wake up and shift. But on the plus side, I have all my kidneys and the closest thing to a gaping hole in my gut is my bellybutton.

A quick post

Solee shall be going under the knife today. That's a scary prospect! I will... finish this another time when I don't need to rush off to the hospital.

We now interrupt this post by the hubby to tell you that I am about to head off to the admissions desk to check in for surgery. Wish me luck. Talk to ya'll when I am up to typing again. Ta!

...

Nothing But the Truth

After reading about MomBrain's truths, I had to do my own. I chose to explore the truth about donating a kidney (because that is the only thing I can think about these days).

The Apparent Truth (How does it look from the outside?) -- It looks heroic. I know this because that is what everyone has said. I have heard that I am an amazing, caring generous person multiple times a day for the last 2 months.

The Real Truth (What it is it really like for me, on the inside?) -- Thrilling. I am excited to be doing something different and special.

The Spirit Truth (If this were serving a spiritual purpose in your life, what would it be?) -- This is my way of trying to swing my karmic balance in the right direction. I know that this is the right thing to do and I am very happy that I am able to do something so beneficial to someone else. It has caused me to do lots of thinking about my faith and my beliefs.

The Shadow Truth (What is the dark side, the thing you don't want to admit you're getting from this?) -- Attention. I have been getting a lot of extra attention and although I can't say I don't enjoy it, I do feel guilty about it. It doesn't seem right somehow. But there it is.

The Fairy-Tale Truth (If this were in a fairy tale, known or unknown, what would it be?) -- Anything by Brothers Grimm. Those fairy tales always made me uncomfortable because of the graphic use of pain and fear. The Little Mermaid felt as though she were walking on broken glass. The children kept chicken bones around to fool the witch in the Gingerbread House into thinking they needed more fattening up. There are moments when I realize that someone is going to be slicing through my stomach muscles with a knife as I lay on the surgical table with a machine breathing for me. Shudder.

The Unsaid Truth (What remains to be said?) -- I am a blessed person. I have people in my life who will do anything to help me and I am eternally grateful for that. What more is there to say?

So, what is YOUR truth?

Head Shot

I have a sinus cold. It started the day before we left and it was on its way out until I pissed it off by going on an airplane ride. On the way back to solid ground, I seriously thought my head was going to explode, and I have been flipping between mouthbreathing because my nose is plugged and mouthbreathing because my nasel passages are so dried out that they feel like they are on fire for the last few days. It sucks.

I mentioned this to my coordinator on Friday and she said it snouldn't interfere with surgery plans unless I start having junk in my throat and lungs. So far, no sign of that. I have been doing lots of resting and sleeping and resting and dosing myself up with citrus drinks and ice water in hopes of getting rid of this thing before Monday, but I am starting to think it won't happen. The very last thing in the whole wide world that I want to experience is one of these body rattling sneezes after having a hole cut in my gut. OH, THE AGONY OF THAT.

2...

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Stupid hotel internet.

I had a great post. It is gone now. Too bad for you.

Summary -

1. Read the "Kidney Table" section to find out more about the upcoming kidney surgery.

2. I am feeling good.

3. It is snowing.

Gotta go to breakfast. Ciao.

3...

We're here in Rochester and I have already been out and about once. We got up at 5:30 this morning, which in our jetlagged brains was the equivalent of 3:30. I had some blood drawn and peed in a cup and then we were able to come back for breakfast. Now we are off to meet with the coordinator and the surgeon. Then we're done for the weekend and able to just hang out. Another blood draw on Sunday morning and then we check into the hospital Monday morning. Getting right down to the nitty gritty now.

I am giving Mikey access to the blog, so he will be able to post now and again about how I am doing even if I am not up to blogging myself. So hopefully there will be brief updates while I am in surgery and recovery.

We're Off to See the Wizard...

The last lesson plan is written, the last dish washed. Our kitties have been bid a fond farewell with the promise of an adoring visit from friends once a day. The garbage and recycling have been taken out, the fridge emptied of all that could potentially evolve into mobile being in the next 2 weeks. The sprinkler has been fixed, the bills paid, the rooms straightened, and the bags packed. We couldn't be more ready to leave.

And we couldn't be less ready. This is our humble abode and leaving it is always difficult. I know that I will be back soon, with ample time to sit around and appreciate that which we have. So, here we go. I will update when I can. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and be kind to the ones you love. Peace be with you.

Oh - and happy anniversary to my father and step-mother. Hope you are living it up! See you tomorrow.

The Other Half

If you are interested in what is going on donation-wise while I frantically scramble around my house packing and cleaning and getting ready for my half of the process, check out the fabulous posts at Amy's site regarding her half. She is keeping us up to date on the current goings-ons in Rochester - including, but not limited to neck straws. Check it out!

And leave her a message. She likes to get messages. Don't we all!?

Adorable

This post somehow got lost on the way to publishing, so it's a little later than I wanted...

This is something that actually came out of my husband's mouth this afternoon...

"I've got some bad news for you, honey. They're starting the [World of Warcraft] servers tomorrow, so you have to make me dinner and Seth and I are going to be gnomes."

He's so cute! Let me give you some context for this statement. Mikey has been beta testing this Warcraft game and the restarting of the servers signals the end of the free play and the beginning of the monthly fee - something he refuses to pay. This means that he has to play as much Warcraft as humanly possible in the next 24 hours to prepare for the abrupt end of his daily dosage. I suspect the withdrawal symptoms will be mighty.

PS - And then he made his own dinner because I was on the phone with various relatives all night. Such a good boy, he is.

The Beginning of the End

Now is the time to start sending healing thoughts to Rochester. I know that I don't have to be there for another week...yikes! 7 days!...but Amy is on her way there now. She has to have a pre-operation operation as well as a procedure of some kind that she happens to be a little nervous about. So, please, start your praying or thinking or meditating now. I know that everything is going to go as smooth as silk, but a little back up help never hurt anything.

Oh, and I am going to get my blood drawn for one of the final tissue typing tests as soon as the lab opens this morning. It's ON, baby!

Panic Attack

I suddenly realized that there were a very limited number of days left until Dec. shopping needed to be done. And that I was going to be laid up for a significant number of those days. Thanks be for the internet!

Like she said...

Surely to God people with a handle on shit (and laser-shooting eyeballs,
yo) don't need to put it down, right? Wrong...In defense of the strong ones, they need to be allowed to be weak sometimes.

It's always amazing to me to read something that could have come from my own head if I were literate enough. This time, it was Jett who did it. Thanks for turning my thoughts into words! :)

Dude!

5 days from right now, I will be landing in MN airport.

6 days from now, I will be doing my final blood work and meeting with my surgeon.

9 days from now, I will be awakening to the world minus one body part.

Wow. Suddenly, now that I am finished with conferences, there isn't anything else to think about. Everything I do is in preparation for the surgery. One step closer to this being "real".

Warm Fuzzies

I completely enjoy having conferences with parents who obviously love their kids and want what is best for them. It totally makes me day...my week...my year! And I have had several lately.

Things I Like to See From Parents

* They show up at the conference. Extra points for being on time. No points lost for calling and rescheduling BEFORE the assigned time.

* They know how to find the room in which their child spends the school day AND they know my last name. Bonus points for knowing my first name. Extra bonus points for having visited or contacted me regarding something prior to conferences.

* They have reasonable expectations for their children. This means if their kid is really bright, they know that and expect them to perform to the best of their ability. If their kid struggles with something, they understand that and simply expect them to perform to the best of their ability. It is so simple, and yet so complicated.

* They know what to expect when I pull out that report card. There are no surprises or horrified gasps because they have been reading the weekly assignment sheets that I send home.

* When I praise the child for doing something well, they say something along the lines of, "Good job. I'm proud of you." When I give suggestions for imporvement, they say something like, "That is something that we will work on. We will help them at home by_____."

* They avoid the phrase "Our _____ is just perfect!" no matter how brilliant that kid may be, and they refrain from giving the kid dirty looks and saying, "I told you so!".

* When I ask if they have any concerns or questions, they have something to add to the conference. This whole education thing is a two-way street and I need the information parents can provide just as much as they need the information I can give them.

* Super Duper Extra Bonus Points for any parent who tells me about how they
a) changed jobs/shifts so they could be home with their kid to help with school work and get quality time in the evenings.
b) worked things out with their exes so that everyone got along and cooperated to best support the children in the families.
c) are going to implement changes in the home to assist the student in improving their academics AND FOLLOWS THROUGH ON IT.

Kudos to all the great parents who are out there. As my dad commented, parenting is the hardest, most underpaid, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants job there is and it takes an amazing person to do it right. Thank you for putting your heart into this, the most important influence you will have on the future. It gives me hope. :)

Thank You

I just want to say thank you to the people in my life who have been going out of their way to make things smooth and peaceful and easy. Complex schedules, relationships and situations have become small bumps in the road rather than huge mountains on the horizon because of your willingness to be flexible and accomodating. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your efforts and the strength of your love. Everything I do is built on that foundation. Thank you and I love you.

I don't know which is more terrifying...

- the conferences which turn into a mini-parenting class because the adults so obviously have no idea what they are doing,

"Well, I don't understand how he can be missing so much homework. I ask him if he has done his homework every night and he always says that he did. I just don't know what else to do."

- or the ones where the parents take copious notes and hang on my every words as though they think I might actually know what I am talking about.

It's downright scary how much control I have over the lives of 30 9-year-olds when I don't even trust myself with one fulltime. I eat popcorn and candy canes for dinner. I watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force and say bad words on a regular basis. I have photographic evidence that I let my kitten play in the dryer and with plastic bags. Yet they trust me to give them advice on how to raise their child. If these parents only knew! :)

Things That I Like About Conference Week

1. Getting to tell the kids that there is "No homework this week!" and listen to them cheer without feeling like I am a bad, lazy teacher.

2. Having a legitimate excuse for getting home too late to go work out.

3. Those conferences where the parents have reasonable expectations, the child understands that it is, in fact, their responsibility to do their best, and everyone leaves feeling as though things have been accomplished.

4. Seeing the countdown to holiday break in the single digits.

5. Finishing the "required" work with enough time left over to do something FUN.

Things I Never Though I Would Say

In Front Of My Class:

"When I was in high school, we used to pass a note telling everyone to drop our books at the same time when we had a sub."

And then I demonstrated it.

Of course, this was prefaced and followed by the words "You should never, ever do this. It is bad and wrong." I still think I am going to a special level of hell reserved for people who tell kids how to torture their subs. At least I didn't tell them about the coughing at the same time bit. Or the sticking your pencils into the ceiling trick.

Mi Domingo Especial

Hola! Como esta? Hoy es un dia fantastico! Estoy estudiando espanol. Me gusta. Es un poco dificil, pero es un gran aventura! Ahora, como un burrito con mi marido. Hasta luego!

go, go, go

There was no school today, so Mikey and I ran around town doing errands. There were so many things to do we had to make a list...and prioritize it...so we would be sure to get everything done. The list:

1. get mail
2. get cat food from vet
3. return items to Staples
4. take passport pics at AAA
5. get water filter from PetCo
6. lunch at Thai Kitchen
7. shop at CostCo
8. shop at Orchard's
9. shop at ROSS

It was a busy day. We got lots done and we got rid of lots of money.

Hooray!

My jury duty service for the year was satisfied with a few phone calls. One more thing to check off the list. :)

On Your Mark, Get Set...

The plane tickets are here.
The hotel reservations are made.
The report cards are near done.
The conferences are scheduled.
The cat care is arranged (almost).

Damn. I think I might just about be ready for this thing.

Avoiding boredom and cold feet at all costs...

I've been thinking of things I am going to need to make my recovery time the most comfortable...

*a fluffy, comfy robe - I have a silky one, but I have a feeling that I will want one that I can fall asleep in on the couch, all toasty and warm, in front of a re-run of Law and Order.

*fluffy, comfy slippers - my current favorites have holes all over the bottoms and my toesies are getting chilly

(aside - Luckily, Mikey's aunt just sent us a couple of individual sized down throw blankets, one red and one blue. The red one became mine - matches my hair, you know - and it is going to be the first thing packed for the trip. I adore it and it has become my new security blanket. The best part is that it can be smooshed down into this little nothing of a package - perfect for the carryon bag.)

*a list of suggested reading and/or viewing - I have some "down time" coming soon and I need a way to keep myself from going stir crazy

*a doodad for hauling my school stuff - you know, one of those folding carts with wheels on it, because I am not going to be allowed to carry anything heavy for awhile

*an intricate coloring book - again with the keeping myself occupied

*sweatpants - who wants to lie around on the couch with jeans biting into your waist? not me!

I think a trip to ROSS and Kohl's are in order! :)

FYI

I don't know where to go with the thoughts that are trapped in my brain today. Let me leave it at this for the time being:

A history of being able to take care of one's self and do without special attention doesn't signify an actual desire to do so in all situations.

'Nuff said.

On Fate and Superstition

Today is exactly 3 weeks prior to my first major surgery. I am 26 (and one half!) years old, and I have never broken a bone, spent time in a hospital or had a serious illness. The idea of mortality is a very academic one. I have developed my beliefs and ideas about life and death, but I have never had to put them to the test. Here are my observations about the manner in which I am approaching this, my first brush (more like a sideways glance, really) with potential death.

I have never feared my own death. The nightmares that wake me in a cold sweat involve the deaths of those I love, not my own. Even now, I feel no fear, no impending doom, no uncertainty. The main reason for this fearlessness is that I am quite interested in what comes next. I am sure that if there is anything to be consciously aware of after leaving this world, it will be something worth seeing. I would miss the joys of this world, my faith in Fate allows me to accept that I will move on when it is time for me to move on.

Which brings me to another reason for my confidence. I believe that Fate causes things to happen when they are supposed to happen (for the most part). I can't even fathom that my time here is done - things are pointing too strongly at the things I have to do. I am not finished with my work, hence things will have to go well.

Of course, there is a fine line between faith and arrogance. It doesn't take much to move from the "Fate wants me to finish my work" to the "Fate wouldn't dare stop me now". This is a dangerous beam to walk, because if you take Fate and its blessings for granted, you are asking for trouble. In a previous post, I questioned my ability to be greatful enough for all the things I have been given. This feeling just gets stronger as time goes on. The more I have, the more I recognize the need to be thankful, lest it all be taken away in one fell swoop. And this is where the slightest touch of nerves hits when I think about the surgery.

I am not about to tempt Fate by assuming that things are going to go perfectly. I know that the chances are very good that I will recover quickly and move on with my life changed only for the better with the knowledge that I have done Something Good. And yet, I am preparing for the worst. I will tie up loose ends. I will complete the paperwork that tells my loved ones what to do if I should die or, even worse, become dependent on machines to sustain me. I will tell people how much they mean to me. I will do all the things I can to show Those In Charge that I am taking nothing for granted. I will be greatful for life, knowing that it can be taken away at any moment. (Something I should be doing anyway, not just because of impending surgery.)

So, here I am, loving my life and knowing that I am only a short way through it, yet preparing to give it up if that is what Fate asks of me. It is an odd, paradoxical place to be in, yet it makes perfect sense to me.

Blog Roll

I have attempted to reorganize my blogroll based on categories. Since I am too broke to upgrade to have more than one blogroll, I have tried to rig it to work the way I want. If it doesn't get straightened out soon, I will be going back to my good old alphabetized list.

Still Happening

Wow. It has been a long time since I wrote anything pertaining to the transplant, hasn't it? This isn't so much because nothing is happening (it is), but more because the things that are happening are stunningly uninteresting. And I have already bored you with them once or twice. Things like trying to catch my coordinator in person rather than playing phone tag for a week. Or getting ready for my absence by planning for a sub even though I know that too much planning is utterly useless. Oh, and don't forget having 4 official observations in the space of three weeks so that I won't fall behind while I am gone. Ugh.

In the medical realm, things have pretty much been paused. I am currently waiting for a letter from the doctor that will allow me to miss school for three weeks, and a package that will enable me to do the blood draw that needs to happen before I return to MN. (Which means I need to allow the Vampire Lady access to my sensitive inner elbow once again...sigh.) Other than that, I have just spent a lot of time being embarassed over the attention it is garnering me - a newspaper article, a visit from a local nephrologist (complete with model kidney which was donated to my class!), an announcement from the principal to the entire school PLUS several gathered parents at a Friday Morning Line Up, and hearing the phrase "That is SO amazing!" more times than I can count.

Speaking of undeserved attention...
Mikey has been showering me with gifts. I think I mentioned getting the last book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series before the last round of testing. Since then I have received the entire Harry Potter set, a DVD of Stephen Lynch, a great set of markers, some cool pencils (that I selfishly kept for myself rather than sharing them with my students), and a DVD of Linkin Park. I feel spoiled and selfish. Or I would if I didn't know that Mikey is going to enjoy these things (well, most of these things) right along with me.

So, you probably won't hear much more about the donation until things actually start to happen - near Thanksgiving. And then you will hear more than you care to know as I recover. I bet you can't wait!

Yep.

http://www.utterwonder.com/archives/2004/11/oh_well.php

Why waste a thousand words expressing something that comes through so strongly in a picture? Thanks to C. Monks for sharing. I hope he doesn't mind the link.

On A Jet Plane

Yeah...we're talking about leaving. At this point it is very general - maybe a new city, maybe a new state, maybe even a new country. But one thing is for sure...if this is the way the MAJORITY of citizens would like things to be, then I think I might be in the wrong place. Because I cannot relate to that. At all.

Places we have thought about:

Baja California - I have always wanted to live in Mexico. I think I could learn Spanish relatively easily and I like the laid back kind of life we could possibly have there.

North Carolina - Mikey has been toying with the idea of moving to a Red state and trying to make a difference. I pretty much nixed this one, saying that if we are moving states it is going to be to a place much closer to my family.

New Zealand - This would be a big change. Not sure how I feel about it.

Basically, my biggest concern about it is that I hate change and fear it with the most primitive of my brain cells. Unfortunately, it is likely that I will have to make a change when they open the new school nearby (lots of "our" students will be going there, drastically reducing our population). Another unavoidable change that is on the horizon is selling our house (we have an adjustable rate). I kinda figure that it will be better for me to make all these changes at once, rather than letting them sneak up on me one at a time. Might as well through in a major move at the same time, right? Well, maybe. We'll see how things go. Perhaps Bush and his crew will get overconfident and make that impeachable mistake I keep waiting for. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

It's election day. As I told my students, this is a particularly important election because NOBODY can confidently predict what is going to happen. Everyone has ideas, but that's all they are.

Mikey and I went out to vote this evening. I even came home right after school to do so. There was a line of about 10 people and we waited for about 15 minutes. No biggie. And since we had written up little cheat sheets with our votes for each proposition, it took us only a few minutes to finish up and earn our trip to Taco Bell.

I am proudly wearing my "I voted electronically" sticker on my shirt and we have had CNN on in the background all night (except for the couple minutes we turned to FOX for a laugh). In a couple minutes, we'll be riveted by Jon Stewart's Live Election Coverage.

Despite all this attention being paid to politics lately, I have NO IDEA what is going to happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'd like to be able to stay in this country.

NEW NEW NEW

I have recently come across a rash of thoroughly enjoyable blogs. My latest additions to the blogroll include:

Irony Central - I was originally drawn here by a sarcastic political post, but I stuck around by the hilarious baby/toddler stories. I REALLY like the sense of humor here.

The Art of Getting By - A teacher! She's a new teacher and she knows how I feel! I made an emotional connection to this blog immediately.

Telling Deeds - Another teacher. This one is from Texas. And she's writing for NaNoWriMo. That in and of itself is pretty impressive. Whether she finishes or not.

I strongly recommend each of these blogs and am proud to admit them to the blogroll. :)