Mitch Hedburg. He's FUNNY!!

"Wearing a turtle neck is like being strangled...by a really weak guy...all day long. Wearing a turle neck and a backpack is like being attacked by a weak midget."

"If you have legs and you're flammable you are NEVER blocking a fire exit."

"Everyone looks cool in a blacklight...except me...cause I thought I got the mustard out."

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as the wall."

"This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it's DIRTY."



And then there is Nick Swardson. Also very funny.

"I quite smoking pot and for the whole first week I thought I was psychic. Suddenly I could remember where I put stuff. I was like - where are my keys?...they're in my pocket...how did I KNOW that?"

There was more...i laughed alot. I love friday night stand up on Comedy Central!