Martyrdom

I hate it when I am getting a good rant on, only to realize that I don't really have a leg to stand on since I have done nothing to solve the problem. When something is irritating, but not quite irritating enough to be worth the fight I know will occur if I bring it up, I often let it go. Then I find, as I am going about my business, that the gremlins in the back of my head are still picking at the irritation, making it swell and ooze bitter juices. That is when I start drafting my rant, planning my attack , rehearsing my soapbox speech.

And then I suddenly realize that the whole problem is due to my own lack of communication or action, so any tirade I start will be turned back on me with no hope of defending myself. So I lance the boil in my brain, chase off the gremlins and take a hot shower, all the while biting my tongue so that I won't sabotage my own good intentions with an off-hand remark.

Someday, I will learn to let it go the first time and save myself the trouble of all this self-martyrdom.