Still Happening

Wow. It has been a long time since I wrote anything pertaining to the transplant, hasn't it? This isn't so much because nothing is happening (it is), but more because the things that are happening are stunningly uninteresting. And I have already bored you with them once or twice. Things like trying to catch my coordinator in person rather than playing phone tag for a week. Or getting ready for my absence by planning for a sub even though I know that too much planning is utterly useless. Oh, and don't forget having 4 official observations in the space of three weeks so that I won't fall behind while I am gone. Ugh.

In the medical realm, things have pretty much been paused. I am currently waiting for a letter from the doctor that will allow me to miss school for three weeks, and a package that will enable me to do the blood draw that needs to happen before I return to MN. (Which means I need to allow the Vampire Lady access to my sensitive inner elbow once again...sigh.) Other than that, I have just spent a lot of time being embarassed over the attention it is garnering me - a newspaper article, a visit from a local nephrologist (complete with model kidney which was donated to my class!), an announcement from the principal to the entire school PLUS several gathered parents at a Friday Morning Line Up, and hearing the phrase "That is SO amazing!" more times than I can count.

Speaking of undeserved attention...
Mikey has been showering me with gifts. I think I mentioned getting the last book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series before the last round of testing. Since then I have received the entire Harry Potter set, a DVD of Stephen Lynch, a great set of markers, some cool pencils (that I selfishly kept for myself rather than sharing them with my students), and a DVD of Linkin Park. I feel spoiled and selfish. Or I would if I didn't know that Mikey is going to enjoy these things (well, most of these things) right along with me.

So, you probably won't hear much more about the donation until things actually start to happen - near Thanksgiving. And then you will hear more than you care to know as I recover. I bet you can't wait!

Yep.

http://www.utterwonder.com/archives/2004/11/oh_well.php

Why waste a thousand words expressing something that comes through so strongly in a picture? Thanks to C. Monks for sharing. I hope he doesn't mind the link.

On A Jet Plane

Yeah...we're talking about leaving. At this point it is very general - maybe a new city, maybe a new state, maybe even a new country. But one thing is for sure...if this is the way the MAJORITY of citizens would like things to be, then I think I might be in the wrong place. Because I cannot relate to that. At all.

Places we have thought about:

Baja California - I have always wanted to live in Mexico. I think I could learn Spanish relatively easily and I like the laid back kind of life we could possibly have there.

North Carolina - Mikey has been toying with the idea of moving to a Red state and trying to make a difference. I pretty much nixed this one, saying that if we are moving states it is going to be to a place much closer to my family.

New Zealand - This would be a big change. Not sure how I feel about it.

Basically, my biggest concern about it is that I hate change and fear it with the most primitive of my brain cells. Unfortunately, it is likely that I will have to make a change when they open the new school nearby (lots of "our" students will be going there, drastically reducing our population). Another unavoidable change that is on the horizon is selling our house (we have an adjustable rate). I kinda figure that it will be better for me to make all these changes at once, rather than letting them sneak up on me one at a time. Might as well through in a major move at the same time, right? Well, maybe. We'll see how things go. Perhaps Bush and his crew will get overconfident and make that impeachable mistake I keep waiting for. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

It's election day. As I told my students, this is a particularly important election because NOBODY can confidently predict what is going to happen. Everyone has ideas, but that's all they are.

Mikey and I went out to vote this evening. I even came home right after school to do so. There was a line of about 10 people and we waited for about 15 minutes. No biggie. And since we had written up little cheat sheets with our votes for each proposition, it took us only a few minutes to finish up and earn our trip to Taco Bell.

I am proudly wearing my "I voted electronically" sticker on my shirt and we have had CNN on in the background all night (except for the couple minutes we turned to FOX for a laugh). In a couple minutes, we'll be riveted by Jon Stewart's Live Election Coverage.

Despite all this attention being paid to politics lately, I have NO IDEA what is going to happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'd like to be able to stay in this country.

NEW NEW NEW

I have recently come across a rash of thoroughly enjoyable blogs. My latest additions to the blogroll include:

Irony Central - I was originally drawn here by a sarcastic political post, but I stuck around by the hilarious baby/toddler stories. I REALLY like the sense of humor here.

The Art of Getting By - A teacher! She's a new teacher and she knows how I feel! I made an emotional connection to this blog immediately.

Telling Deeds - Another teacher. This one is from Texas. And she's writing for NaNoWriMo. That in and of itself is pretty impressive. Whether she finishes or not.

I strongly recommend each of these blogs and am proud to admit them to the blogroll. :)

I See Progress

I have managed to make progress on my terrifying to-do list. I went in to work this morning shortly after my last post. I got home about 30+ minutes ago. What did I do all day?

graded book reports
graded science presentations
graded math warm ups and quizzes
graded homework packets
entered all grades in the computer
printed grade sheets for each student
printed missing assignment sheets for each student
gather necessary papers to complete missing assignments
gathered materials that need to be photocopied
prepared for a fun "kidney transplant" activity to be done sometime
chatted with a couple of grandmas via cell phone
watched an episode of M*A*S*H (I needed some background noise)
prepared for observation by assistant principal this week
prepared for two observations by mentor next week

I was a busy girl. I am feeling much better having gotten all this taken care of. Tomorrow we start big testing and I can start getting ready for conferences (still a couple weeks off). Now it's time to trade back rubs with the hubby.

*Hmmm. I just looked at my to-do list with the idea of crossing off the stuff that is done, but there's nothing I can cross off. I spent 7 hours at work and can't cross a damn thing off the list. Sheesh.

Blame Amy

1)Starting with your head down to your toes, what health/beauty products have you used/applied to your body so far today? [For example, shampoo, toothpaste, makeup, cologne/perfume, nail polish, etc.]
I have brushed my teeth with Scope (I hate toothpaste) and put on Suave deoderant. On my shower days, I would also have used Suave Humectant shampoo and conditioner. I never apply makeup - just the occasional lotion to soothe any dry skin and Carmex if my lips are chapped.

2. Do you have a ritual when you take a shower, such as washing your hair first or maybe even brushing your teeth in the shower? If so, what? Do you prefer baths or showers?
I like to occasionally soak in a bath, but showers are my daily routine. We have a HUGE shower with great pressure. Very important. I turn on the water to heat up and get my clothes together for the day. I get in and get my hair wet. Lather in shampoo. If the legs are fuzzy, one gets shaved now and the other after the conditioner is applied. Rinse shampoo, apply conditioner. Lather with body wash (same brand/flavor as the lotion above - Pretty in Pink from Vicki's Secret - a student gave them to me last year and I really like the smell.) Rinse body. Rinse hair. Exit. Toweling occurs in this order - face, arms, body, legs, hair. Oh, and a Q-tip afterwards is a must for the ears. I can't stand wet ears.

3. How do you get yourself up and going in the mornings? Coffee? A hot shower? Breakfast? Would you consider yourself a morning person at all? When do you usually get up?
I am a morning person and provided that I have gotten enough sleep, I don't really need anything to get up and go. My typical routine is such:
alarm, feed cats, bathroom, (shower every other day), dress, brush hair/do minimal prep, make lunch, read while eating breakfast, re-brush hair/brush teeth, pack things, kiss sleeping Mikey, head out the door. I am usually up around 6:30 and out the door around 7:30.

4. Do you normally eat breakfast? What do you usually have? Do you usually make it at home or go out for breakfast, or do you prefer not to eat breakfast?
My favorite breakfast is scrambled eggs and chili beans in a tortilla with sour cream. I have been known to grab a yogurt, a couple peices of toast, or some fruit when in a hurry. I cannot eat cereal on a school day because I am famished by 10:30 if I do. When I go out for breakfast, I order an omelet or pancakes. On rare weekends, we actually make pancakes or french toast at home. Messy.

5. What does your alarm clock sound like? A buzzer, music, or something else? Do you ever set your clock fast so that you push yourself to get ready sooner? Are you usually on time, late, or somewhere in-between?
It sounds like the Beep-Beep-Beep alarms you always hear on TV. Every time I hear that in a commercial my brain shouts "Wake Up!" and I get a shot of adrenaline. I have my bedroom clock set 10 minutes fast, which annoys the hell out of my hubby. I don't know why, because I KNOW it's 10 minutes fast and consequently allow myself to sleep 10 extra minutes. If it is something vitally important, I will be 5-10 minutes early. If not, I am usually a couple minutes late. I try to be on time, but it rarely works.

Pity Him

This is an actual conversation that occured in my house yesterday while we were putting away dishes...
- - -
Mikey: There's no more room for glasses.
Me (looking into the cabinet): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? That's not the way the glasses go*.
Mikey: I couldn't remember how they went because there were none in there when I started**.
Me: You couldn't remember? After 3 years of having them exactly the same, you couldn't remember?
Mikey: Nope. But they'll work this way.
Me: Yes, they will. Which is why I won't make you fix them.
- - -
And every time I have opened that cupboard since then I have had to restrain myself from rearranging them. It has been an excellent exercise in self-control. I would feel sorry for him, except that he knew exactly what he was getting into when he married me.

*Yes, there is a "way" that thing go in my kitchen. It has been carefully arranged for ease of use and clean-up.

**This is from the same man who can't wash more than ten dishes at a time because he can't manage to stack them in a way that won't eventually collapse under its own weight.

Good Morning...

I hope that you are all having a great day. I don't have anything to tell you, just wanted to wish you a happy and productive weekend full of laughter and enjoyment. Peace.

TGIF

Ways to make teaching difficult:

- have a helicopter land on school grounds, accompanied by members of the DEA and a drug sniffing dog
- have a party
- invite the cheer/dance/flag/band squads from the nearby high school to do a pep rally
- have a week of rainy/cloudy/drizzly days
- give them candy
- ask kids to sit still for a 90 minute assembly
- give them caramel apples
- attempt an art project
- get close to Halloween

How to make one day feel like a week:

- do all the above on the same day

If Only

If I were going through the bored-out-of-my-tears process of healing during the month of November I would be participating in NaNoWriMo. Not because I am a good writer or because I have any particular aspirations to author-dom, but because this morning, in the shower, I came up with the BEST idea for a sci-fi story. Seriously. Since the chances of me ever actually writing it are negligable, and since I trust you all implicitely, I will share the idea that could potentially make me a wealthy and famous author. Be sure to mention me in the credits if you steal it.

Here's the deal. It is many years in the future. Everything is pretty much the same. Life goes on...except every once in a whilea person under great duress performs a feat that is technically "impossible". Not just out of the ordinary...really, physically, scientifically impossible. A man desperate to get to a last chance interview before it is too late manages to slow the passage of time until he can get through a snarl of traffic. A woman bring her stillborn child back to life with the power of her denials. A child decides to fly away from an abusive situation, and does it...literally. Things are getting wierd.
The world's top scientists start researching and manage to pinpoint the moment in time when these impossiblities started becoming reality. After a bit more research, they learn that this is the same moment that "a devestating event" (not exactly sure what, but I suspect it has to do with WMDs) occurs. It turns out that everyone - the entire population of Earth was killed in that instant. However, following the premise of so many stories before, those inflicted with death don't realize that they are so inflicted. They go on with their daily lives as before, unaware that anything has changed. And since they all died at the same time, there was no one to notice the shift (aside from the initial feeling of queaziness and disorientation that was shrugged off so casually).
Eventually, it is postulated that what they have been taking for reality for so long (like, 50 years or something) is, in fact, nothing more than a mass hallucination. Or perhaps a figment of a collective imagination. As with any theory, there are believers and non-believers. The trouble is that the believers, suddenly accepting the facts of their own death, immediately puff out of existence. This solidifies the theory with any non-believers who were leaning on the fence and they become believers...and puff out of existence...convincing more non-believers...you get the drift.
In traditional ripple-effect form, people begin puffing out of existence more and more rapidly. Eventually, you are left with a small collective of individuals, who would of course spend many pages discussing what lies on "The Other Side". These folks are struggling to maintain even the basics of their created reality - since the small number of minds leads to a large number of inconsistencies and gaps. Eventually, they decide to give in to the reality of their own deaths, puffing out of existence (and into some unknown), at which time the Earth returns to its own reality. The story ends with a discription of a formerly war-torn, devestated planet showing the first signs of growth and re-birth.

Oh...and if you do steal it...I want a copy of the final product. Thanks.

In Print

The Article was published today. On the front page of section B in our local paper was a whole column about my, my kidney, and my class. The kids were thrilled.

...a group of fourth graders at...

"HEY! That's us! We're in the paper!"

The article was well written and accurate. The author, John Hunneman, always takes a very humane, thoughtful approach to his stories and this was no exception. He listened carefully to what I said and brought out (what I think to be) the most important aspects of the whole situation. I was particularly happy to see that he quoted me as saying,

"One of the reasons I wanted to become a teacher was to have an effect on people's lives...Maybe this will teach my students it's important to be nice to each other and help each other. Maybe this will help them learn there is more to life than big cars and Nintendo."

I couldn't have said it better myself. Oh, wait...

BTW - I saved a copy of the article for myself and one for each household that contains a parental unit. I will either mail them to you, or (more likely given the number of things I have to do) bring them to MN with me and pass them on in person.

Tired. So Very Tired.

I am feeling just the tiniest bit overwhelmed by all the things I have to do before Thanksgiving...

*prepare my students for end of trimester testing

*complete report cards and parent/teacher conferences

*have 1 formal observation from my assistant principal

*have 2 observations from my BTSA mentor

*develop 3 weeks' worth of plans for a sub

*clean house and arrange for cat-sitting for the nearly 2 weeks we'll be gone

*get my oil changed and new tires put on my car

*participate in the time honored tradition of trying to get out of jury duty

*mentally prepare for the day when I give someone else a part of my very own body

I'm going to bed. Wake me when it's over. :)

A Date

The surgery is scheduled for Monday, November 29th. I have to be there for pre-surgery preparations on the Friday before. We're working on arranging travel plans and I am hustling my butt to get ready for 3 weeks of being gone. Wish us luck.


**OOPS - Thanks to Kathy for catching my not so little typo...hope no one was freaking out! :)

Hell's Lawn

From an e-mail that someone I have never met got from someone I have never heard of:

"For love, you visit. You visit hell, if you have to. And if they throw you out of hell, you wait on hell’s lawn, indefinitely."

Hell, yeah. Right on.

Snack Attack!

Apparently hearing that I had a very low sodium level was all it took to convince my brain that I needed to eat nothing but pretzel sticks for days. Perhaps if I were to remove the Bag O' Temptation from my desk where it is easily accessible as I check my e-mail in a post-school snacking frenzy I wouldn't be close to finishing off the bag.

Fame

So, the room mom in my class has notified the local paper about my kidney donation and someone is coming during my prep tomorrow to interview me for a local interest column. Yikes. And I thought I could just do it and the only things people would care about was that I was missing school. I'll let you know how it goes.

Family AND Friends

I finally put my finger on the peculiar feeling of dread/discomfort that accompanied learning of my cousin's death. I have been sad for the obvious reasons, but there was an odd, unrecognizable aftertaste that hung in my mind each time I thought about him - beyond my regret that I couldn't attend the funeral - more than just my dismay at not getting to know him better in past years.

As I ended a conversation with my father this afternoon, I asked him to hug the surviving sister for me. It was all I could do to say goodbye without bursting into tears, for I suddenly realized that this poor girl was mourning the loss of a brother. A BROTHER. Not someone she saw occasionally at family gatherings. Not a distant relative that she read about in holiday newsletters. The boy she grew up with, the only person to share parents and upbringing with her, is gone.

Even now, I want to cry thinking about this. I can't imagine how I would go on if one of my siblings died. I know that I see them only rarely - half a continent seperates us - and I know that I don't talk to them nearly often enough, but I think about them on a daily basis. They are an elite few who truly understand who I am and where I come from. I am so proud of each of them and so amazed that 4 people who are so completely different can be so tightly bonded. And of course, being the oldest, I feel a certain amount of responsiblity and obligation when it comes to their well-being. Losing them would be losing a charished and vital part of myself. I can only imagine a pale reflection of what Kelsey must be going through.

I am so, so sorry for her loss. And so profoundly greatful that I was able to call each and every one of my siblings today. We talked about the weather and our parents and each other and jobs and all the mundane little things that make up our lives. I wish I could say that this attention to them would remain strong. Unfortunately, it often takes a shocking loss to make us appreciate that which is with us every day. I will keep this in mind as long as I can.

Testing Day 2

Once again, I was required to fast for my first test of the day. I had to eat my final meal before 6 pm and avoid all food and water after 10 pm. This would have been bad enough, but I also had to drink a big bottle of lemon-flavored laxative. At about 1:00 am, I woke up and spent about 30 minutes in the bathroom. I will leave the rest of the details to your ample imaginations. Needless to say, this - coupled with the fasting - left me quite dehydrated. This is where the excitement comes in.

My first test was a CT scan. For those who have never experienced a CT scan, you lie down on a big table and they move the table back and forth through a big circle (looks a lot like a Stargate). They needed to inject a much larger amount of contrast solution so they could see the parts that they wanted to get images of (kidneys, ureter, bladder, etc.) so they had to insert an IV port. For some reason, the port needed to be in my right arm which is NOT my good arm for injections and draws. The veins in that arm only show themselves after I have been working out heavily. The first attempt (in my elbow pit) didn't even catch a vein - I suspect it nicked one though, because I still have a bruise there.

The nurse then decided to try my right hand, which would have been fine, except that she said, "It's harder to get these ones in because they roll." Gee, thanks. I needed to hear that shocking lack of confidence just as you were aiming a needle at me. Between the nerves and the dehydration and the minor pain and the being tensed up and not breathing the way I should, I managed to nearly pass out. I didn't faint, but I must have gotten pretty darn white, because I had the undivided attention of every nurse in the room. One was holding my feet up, one was holding a cold rag to my forehead, one was grabbing the blood pressure cuff (after I told her that my BP drops dramatically in these situations), and several others were watching and asking how I felt. It was quite embarassing. Eventually, I managed to bring my BP up high enough that they would believe me when I said I felt fine. I headed over to have my CT scan.

The IV in my hand was hurting the whole time they prepped me for the scan. When they were going to hook me up to the contrast solution I mentioned how sensitive it was, so they decided to move it to my elbow again. After yet another needle stick I was ready for the scan. It involved lots of lying on a table with my arms over my head. I had to hold my breath each time they took an image. The worst part was when they inflated the little balloons strapped to my abdomen. I think they were supposed to prevent the contrast dye from travelling too quickly, but it mostly just felt like they were jabbing straight through me. I had a hard time staying still during this part. After they got all the images they needed, I had the IV removed and headed out to the series of meetings I had scheduled.

First, I met with the hypertension nurse, who explained the results of my blood tests and my 18 hour BP eval. Next, I talked with my coordinator briefly. We talked about scheduling and she made sure I didn't have any questions. After a break of a couple hours (occupied with window shopping and feeding our faces), we went to a little educational class. They summarized all the info that everyone else had given me in the last 2 days. We got to watch a DVD of an actual kidney removal. It was facinating. Finally, I met with the nephrologist again and he gave me the final "go ahead" after looking over the results of all the tests.

There you have it. The entire two days of testing to be a kidney donor. My hope is that someone who plans to do this in the future will read this and now what to expect, because I didn't have a clue. To anyone who is worrying about these tests, I just want to tell you that it is not bad. I whine and complain about the fasting, but it was really not bad at all.

Testing Day 1

I spent Sunday night fasting (food and water) so I could be ready for my blood test first thing Monday morning. And when I say "first thing", I mean it. We were up at the clinic at 5:50 am. The Mayo clinic has a different desk for every possible test/procedure you can need. This means you have to first track down the desk in The Amazing Medical Labyrinth, and then sit in a waiting room each time you need something done. There is no multi-tasking there.

The first desk got my signature regarding insurance and sent me to the second desk where I got my schedule for the two days. There were at least 14 appointments on it. They gave me a brief (and LOUD - why have the other patients stand back for privacy reasons if you are going to shout so they all can hear anyway?) rundown of the days' events and sent me on my way.

The first appointment was a typical blood draw. I wanted to take the nurse who did it home with me so she could be my regular Vampire Lady. The one I have now is awful. I would love to get blood drawn and NOT look like I was a heroine junkie afterwards!

The second appointment was a renal function test. Of course, this was scheduled right after I have been fasting for about 12 hours, so I had to chug the water pretty hard for awhile. This was okay, since I was practically dying of thirst! They set me up in a little room, injected a small amount of contrast solution into the back of my arm and told me to wait for an hour. Not as bad as it might seem. They provided me with a nice warm blanket, my book, and a bottle of water. Mikey was there to keep me company, too. When they got back, I had to pee into a bucket and give some blood. I then waited another 45 minutes and repeated. Not so bad, except for the starving part. Luckily, I had a short break at this point and managed to grab some food from the hotel breakfast.

Next, I met with a nephrologist for my general medical exam and a surgeon for a basic discussion about the surgery. (Two different desks in two different parts of the clinic, of course.) This was followed by an ECG. This was quick and painless, although the gel pads were cold and sticky. I then headed to yet another section of the building to meet with a nurse who hooked me up to an 18 hours blood pressure monitor. Although this didn't hurt, it was annoying as all get out. The thing went off every 10 minutes and each time I was supposed to sit or stand still until it was done. It also made my arm sweaty.

My last test was a chest x-ray, taken by a very nice man who didn't really seem to know what he was doing. In fact, I had to go back a second time to redo one of the pictures. The most difficult part of this test was figuring out how to put on the paper gown, which had 3 - yes, 3 - arm holes. Being a clever girl, it only took me a minute to solve this little puzzle.

Mike and I then met with a social worker (she didn't really seem to know what she was doing either, but she was very nice as well) and answered questions about my support system (great), my work (great), the amount of pressure I was getting from people to donate (none), and whether I can afford to miss work (yes). This meeting ended at about 4:00 pm. Neither of us had eaten a decent meal all day and both of us were exhausted, so we headed back to the hotel for a nap and dinner.

So ends Day 1 of the testing adventures. Stay tuned for Day 2 - by far the more exciting day.

My Trip

The overall trip to MN was very enjoyable. I got to visit with my father and my step-mother, as well as my cousin (the future recipient) and her hubby. We did lots of eating out, lots of lounging around lazily, and quite a bit of watching Clerks: the Animated Series on DVD. The flights were good and the hotel room was good (even though they didn't have the hot tub working). I managed to get my hair colored like I had been planning. The non-medical stuff was all pretty typical. Just the way I like it. Stay tuned for more detail about the actual reason I was there.

Tidbits

I am 100% in agreement with this political rant from MomBrain.



I am eating pretzel sticks and root beer for dinner. And that doesn't bother me. Unless Mikey makes ravioli. Yum.

Here's the current hairdo.



This shows the color pretty well, with the obligitory beam of light.



Here's the new me.

And here are some pics of the kitties.



That's the baby on top of the door. This is his latest trick. His next trick will be figuring out how to get down. Stupid cat.



Zazzy likes to sit in my chair. She has the cutest face!



Huzzah is our big boy. Really big.

In Brief

I have tons to say about the testing that was recently done, but I am exhausted both physically and mentally at the moment. But I do want you to know that I have been given the official "Green Light" by the nephrologist. This means that we are now waiting for them to schedule the surgery.

Oh, and I dyed my hair red. I will post a picture as soon as I get around to taking one. Probably this weekend. :)

The Big Stuff

My cousin, Kyle, died in his sleep last night. Although his life had by no means been an easy one, it still came as a shock - completely unexpected. Please send healing thoughts to his mother, father, and sister, as well as a prayer of guidance for him whereever he may be.

There are many, many thoughts running around in my head tonight, but I am incapable of gathering them into coherent sentences. I am swamped by thoughts of the past, when I knew Kyle better, the present, and the numerous dramatic things that are happening in our family, and the future, wondering if I can possibly ever be greatful enough for all that I have. I just keep coming back to this one thought...

Life is just too fucking strange.

Peace be with you, Kyle. We love you.

The Little Stuff

What a craptacular day. Maybe it is coming down off such a good day that made it seem worse, but this was not a day I want to remember for long. It all started first thing in the morning...

1. Stomach cramps nearly kept me from work. I was on my way out the door when I actually had to lie down on the floor and curl up in a ball to get through one. This has happened to me before, but not on a day when it was so vital that I go to work.

2. Something in my inner ear was thrown off by the airplane or the listening to music through headphones on the airplane or something. I have had the dizzies since we landed last night. I turn my head to look at someone and the whole room sways.

3. My class full of angels, who were very well behaved for the sub - praise all that is good, were not so angelic for me today. Their little halos were definitely tarnished, what with all the talking out of turn and wandering around the room and telling me what to do. I actually had someone say, "Do you want me to tell you how Mrs. T (the sub) got us to be quiet?". Um. NO. Who's class is this anyway?

4. My head has been throbbing off and on all day.

And that's just the little stuff.

Word of Advice

Don't have an IV put in. :) I had quite an adventure with the IV they gave me for my CT scan this morning. It was embarassing. I'll tell you all the gory details later. Gotta go talk to the coordinator.

PS - My sodium level ROCKS, and my BP is great, but I need to work on my cholesterol a bit. I know more about myself than I ever have before!

The Patient

but boy have I seen a lot of doctors today! This is my first day of testing and I have been running all over the mazes of halls that make up Mayo Clinic and it's affiliates. I have had an ECG, blood tests, renal function tests (where you have to pee on command), consultations, and all kinds of waiting.

The one thing I have not had time for was eating. The other thing I have not had time for is sleeping. I am hungry and tired and ready to take a nap. No such luck. I have to have a chest x-ray in about an hour and then meet with the psychologist at 3. I will be able to rest a bit until 6 pm, when I have to take a powerful laxative to get me ready for tomorrow's tests. It will be a blast. Figuratively. I hope.

I am currently looking like I have serious problems because I have a BP cuff attached to my arm and a little machine in a bag strung around my neck. It will be taking my BP every 10 minutes for the rest of the day and every 20 minutes during the night. It doesn't hurt or anything, but I have to stop what I am doing and stand still when it starts to do its thing. Sometimes this happens at inopportune times.

My cousin has been here having some bloodwork today as well, although she is on her way home now. She really isn't feeling very good lately and I know she would like to get this transplant done as soon as possible. So far everything is pointing that way. (Oops...have to pause to get my arm squeezed! ... Okay, I'm back) One of the doctors told me that I was "in perfect health, a perfect donor" and so far all the tests have come out great. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I am keeping a more thorough journal on the lap-top (this daily journaling has become a habit, I think), and I will be sure to fill you in on more details when I have more time. For now, I want to give Mikey a chance to do some surfing before our time runs out. Ciao!

PS - You wouldn't believe the ways my name has been butchered today! :)

The Good Stuff

1. I was positively wallowing in the happiness that is my classroom these days. Even when the kids are being brats, it is fun. Because they are being bratty in a friendly, funny, good-humored kind of way. They make me laugh on an hourly basis.

2. My team members were slathering me with good luck and well wishes for my testing next week. I am definitely going in high spirits.

3. I managed to get things ready for my sub. It isn't easy to plan for three days, because I do so much adapting of my schedule every day. I hope that I have left enough work to cover the time. These kiddos are always getting done faster than I expect! :)

4. My honey got me a special treat today. He says it is a Kidney Day present! :) I was completely and utterly surprised to find a copy of the 7th book of The Dark Tower series in my underwear drawer as I was packing. I didn't even know it was out yet. I now have something wonderful to read while I am flying and sitting around waiting for tests. What a wonderful guy I have. The book was accompanied by a very sweet letter that made me teary-eyed. I am one lucky girl.

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

We have pretty much decided against getting a Hybrid car since the cost is prohibitive to us, and the benefits aren't that much improved from the Escort I already drive. I am going to save up my money and get a car that runs on Biodiesel instead. Looks very good.

My Hero.

You all know that I heart Jon Stewart. He's is a funny, funny man and I have a deep appreciation for that. Today he was on Crossfire and he chewed them up and spit them out. They were expecting him to come on being a total doofus, cracking jokes and playing nice. Instead he accused them of being political hacks and demanded that they explain why they never hold the politicians accountable for anything. He was funny, but he was also deadly serious. The Crossfire guys got very defensive (especially the little idiot in the bowtie) and asked him why HE didn't ask the hard hitting questions. His response?

"Because my show is on Comedy Central. The show that leads up to me is puppets making crank phone calls."

HA!

He spends the entire time asking, begging, and pleading them to take their jobs as journalist seriously. They wanted, and asked for, the funny Jon and he told them, "No, I won't be your monkey." and went right back to an attempt at serious discourse. Brilliant.

Anyway, you can find some discussion including several transcript links (and possibly a video link) here. Enjoy.

Whoa

I have a busy day tomorrow. Not only do I have to finish writing lesson plans for the three days I am missing next week, but I also have to help set up the Fall Festival and I am supposed to work out. Given that my house is in no shape for me to leave, I think the working out is gonna have to wait.

PS - Amy, I hope you know of a hair place that will be open on Sunday, because I have been psyching myself up for a change in hair color for the last week. I have decided on Strawberry Blonde or something similar. :)

So I Married a Nerd...

I was reading Mikey this post and asking him what the hell it meant. I didn't get it. But, as I suspected, he did. He also commented (previous to me reading hime the last line) that it didn't make any sense and that he probably meant an AT-ST, which made me laugh until I cried. He's such a nerd!!!

Of course, our friends who came for dinner and a game think I am a total wack-job because I didn't even have to look at the puzzle reading "K_ _ _K _" after I heard the clue "Japanese Theater". I immediately said, "Oh! Kabuki." I'm a nerd in my own right.

Rambles

Interesting things from today...

1. We had a great presentation at our staff development today. The guy was there talking about utilizing the "40 Developmental Assets" to improve self-esteem and motivation in schools. It was nice to see research that supports my use of class time to build relationships rather than focusing entirely on test results and standards. Unfortunately, this isn't the outlook that the district seems to take. We are informed in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways that the test scores are all that matter. I wonder how long it will take for them to decide they don't like my resistance to this teaching style.

2. As part of our staff development, we had to do one of those "run-around-and-get-signatures-from-people-because-they-can-do/say-specific-things" games. One of the signatures you needed was from someone who does volunteer work. About 7 different people specifically sought me out for this, saying things like, "Ooh! I know YOU volunteer!". That made my day.

3. I had a heartbreaking conversation with a co-worker about how the evils perpetrated on you in childhood can continue to haunt you even as an adult. Especially in your sleep. I had a wonderful childhood with very few yucky things to deal with, but I know all too well how those inner demons can creep out into your dreams. I couldn't fix her problem, but I was able to listen. I hope it helped.

Trust

I have mentioned before that my co-workers are very good to me. They are also quite funny. You remember the Label incident. It is a real testiment to our relationships that I can be so openly myself with them. They know that I am a tree-hugging, hippy freak who can't spell or do math in my head, but can be counted on to have important papers filed away in a safe place. They know that I am spacey about some things and analy retentive about others. And they are okay with that.

It is still hard for me to accept that though. I am so used to feeling out of place, that it feels wierd to be accepted. Today, I was telling C and D about the book clubs I am going to be starting next week. As I was showing them the lists and organizers and files and folders that I have created, they kept saying "Wow, you're amazing. How do you stay so organized?" I still felt like a total geek, but at least I felt like an understood geek. I was happy to be able to share some of my ideas and ease some of the work off them.

I am realizing that it has taken me nearly 35 minutes to type this so far and I am having to fix every single word because of typos. This tells me that my brain is in "OFF" mode and I need to go to bed beroge I hurt mydlef. :) Goodnight.

Um.

Not really much to say. Just wanted to pop in and say I'm still here. Had a nice chat with my father last night. Got lots done in school today. Excited about Wednesday being a non-student day. Wanted to go out to dinner, but didn't. Worked out. Did some recording of grades. Lost three fish - two of The Beatles and one of the Presleys. I suspect naming the fish after musicians who died young wasn't such a good idea. Want to buy nearly everything in the latest Newport News catalog. Still haven't gone to Kohl's - maybe tomorrow. I think I'll ask Debbie if she wants to go with me. Left my lunch at home this morning and a handsome man brought it to me - we were smooching in my room. Shhhh...don't tell the hubby! :) Got the items I ordered from Oriental Trading Company. It was like Christmas - except I had to pay for it all...but it was on a card, so it didn't really feel like paying for it. Deck the Halls... Was wondering in the shower how long I will have to go without washing my hair after the surgery. Not that I think washing my hair would be bad...just that I have no way of washing it without getting my whole body wet or seriously contorting myself. Hoping my sis is doing okay. She's having a rough pregnancy. She just has to hold out until Nov. 6th. Keep her in your thoughts. It has been getting chilly at night. By chilly I mean around 60ish. Feels good. This house is not fit for visitors, and we have a game night scheduled on Thursday. Ugh. This weekend I crawled out from under a massive amount of paperwork for various things (appointments, classes, etc) and it feels good to not have it hanging over my head anymore. Dots are good. Time for bed. G'night, all. Stay happy. Peace.

Shopping Day!

At dinner last night, my MIL presented us with 2 Target gift cards and a store credit for Kohl's. We're gonna go spend every last cent (and then some) as soon as Mikey gets out of the shower!

Of Course

I have received a jury summons. For November 8th. Because this whole scheduling thing was working too smoothly. I was so excited to be only missing 3 weeks of school for the kidney thing, so Fate had to throw a wrench in it all. I don't even have a problem being called. I really don't mind doing my civic duty. (I guess I am one of those who are too stupid to get out of it.) I just wish it could have been at a more convenient time. Or that I could postpone it until summer, but they only allow 90 days.

Maybe I will get lucky and it will turn out like the last time. I had to call in several times, but managed to avoid getting called in.

Busy Day

So far today we have:

worked out
shopped at Staples
got ice cream
vacuumed the house
mopped the floors
installed new speakers on our computers
put the old speakers back on Mikey's computer
showered
worked on a book club list for school
installed a new ink cartridge
attempted to get the laptop online
did the dishes
read blogs
researched online
received verification of both travel and hotel plans

I'm exhausted. And I still have to do dinner out with the in-laws! :) At least that will be fun.

Signs of the End

Bill O'Reilly is going to be on The Daily Show. Jon Stewart will be confronting the Devil himself. I can't wait. I hope Bill's head explodes. (figuratively, of course)

Hehehe

Did I tell you about the altercation I had with the a co-worker? I didn't think so. It is now a three part story.

Part One
This is the part where I am asking said co-worker for assistance with a problem. She very clearly does not wish to assist me, but offers to take my problem anyway. I tell her that I will figure it out and give her the paper she needs later. Something in the way I say this (I honestly don't know what) prompts her to say, "Don't you look at me that way, Young Lady" in her snippiest voice. I give her a surprised look and walk away, baffled.

Part Two
This is the part where I return to give the co-worker the paper she needs, having solved my problem on my own. I take a moment to tell her that I am sorry if I did anything to upset her before, but that I would really appreciate her not refering to me as "Young Lady", as I work very hard to present a professional, adult appearance. Since she had said, "Good girl" when I handed her the fixed problem, and accused me of talking down to her on several occasions, I have little hope that this will actually change anything. At least I let her know that I wasn't going to just sit back and take her rudeness.

Part Three
This is the part where I learn that she spent several minutes after I left (way back in Part One) complaining about me to anyone withing listening range. Hehe. I just wish I could have heard what she was complaining about, because I truly don't know what I did to set her off.

I never felt particularly close to this co-worker, but I always thought we had a decent relationship. I guess I was wrong. Or maybe she's just having problems with something else and her frustration came out at the wrong time. Whatever it is, I confronted it and I am moving on. I continue to smile and tell her good morning when I see her, but I no longer go to her for help unless absolutely necessary. (She's in a position that makes it necessary to interact with her fairly regularly.)

Not Alone

Okay, so after a day of gritching about my HARD, HARD life, I am feeling better. Two things were especially helpful in turning my outlook around.

1. I managed to track down my urine collection results - they had been sent to my regular doctor despite the way I carefully made sure that both labs had the contact information for the transplant coordinator at Mayo. My regular doctor (or rather her nurse) quickly responded to my phone call and took care of the problem efficiently. I HEART MY DOCTOR AND HER NURSE.

2. Amy posted her own version of Survival VII: Medical Madness. Reading it reminded me that I have been dealing with this for a month. She's been dealing with this for 5 years and will continue to deal with it for a very long time. That's why I am going through all this in the first place. You have my undying admiration, Amy.

I don't have things so bad. Sometimes I forget that.

The Down Side

So, I have reached the point of utter frustration with this transplant thing. Not with the desire to do it - that is still strong. But I am completely fed up with the way it is being handled.

Of all the people involved, I am the only one who has NO FREAKIN' IDEA what is going on. I have never done this, and I can only go on the information that is given to me each step of the way. So why is everyone being so damned stingy with information? This is how every test has gone so far...

Professional #1: You need to have Test A.
Me: Okay. How do I go about doing that?
Prof. #1: Just go to your local lab.
Me: Okay.
(later, usually either rushed before or after work on a busy day)
Me: I need to have Test A.
Lab Vampire: Well, should it be Test A1 or Test A2? And do you have this very important, necessary paperwork?
Me: Um. No.
Lab Vamp: I can't do it without that information.

This means that I then have to call back to Professional #1, usually during one of my breaks at school, and leave a message, because no medical professional EVER answers the freakin' phone. Then, I wait, hoping that Prof. #1 calls back during a time when I can sneak a phone call (cell phones are not supposed to be used at our school). I eventually get the information that Prof. #1 should have realized I would need in the first place. I mean, how many transplants has she been involved in? Grr. This has happened multiple times now. And I know that it is "typical", but that doesn't make it any less irritating. Especially when followed by this interaction...

Me: Just checking to make sure you got the results for Test A1 and A2.
Prof. #1: Let's see....nope. You'll have to call and find out what happened.

WTF???? I made a conscious decision as a teen to go into education, NOT medicine. Why am I the one who has to do all this? Let's see how it turns out...

(calling the lab)
Me: Prof. #1 never got the results of Test A1 and A2.
Lab Vamp: Well, I don't actually do that. I do the blood draws and such and send them off to The Big Lab. You'll have to call there.
(calling The Big Lab)
Me: I am trying to find the results of Test A1 and A2. I need them sent to The Hospital
Big Lab Vamp: Okay. Did you include the information for sending it there?
Me: I gave it to the Lab Vamp. I don't know if she sent it on or not, but she photocopied it.
BLV: Well, if she didn't send it, you will need to get your doctor's permission.

For crying out loud. I can't even win when I actually have the information I need. So this means more phone calls, more waiting, more rushing around dealing with medical crap when I should be dealing with school things. Why is this so hard. Why can't the people who do this procedure every freakin' day act like they have a clue? All I want to do is help out. Why does that always become an ordeal? No wonder most people could give a s**t about others. It is so much easier.

There has not been a single step of this that anyone has made easy or stress-free. I knew that going through this process long distance (I am two time zones away from all others involved) would make it more complicated, but I didn't realize that I would be the only one interested in finding/sharing information. The fact I am so far away makes it all the more imperative that I get the data I need in a timely fashion. I am supposed to fly to MN in 10 days, but I can't get anyone to help me fill out paperwork, verify tests, or anything. It is too long a trip (I will be missing 3 days of school) to take if it isn't necessary. I only have 4 weeks of sick leave, and I can't afford to be wasting 3 of them.

I guess I will just be hoping that I get the phone calls I need today. Hopefully, they will say that my last test results are in and good, and help me get this paperwork filled out and sent in. I don't know what more I can do.

Oops

I forgot to call Mayo to check up on my collection results. Gotta remember to do it tomorrow.

Useless

Things are still going very well with my class. They continue to amaze me with their citizenship, independence, and intelligence. I am starting to feel superfluous. Basically, I present them with an idea, give them a few words of advise, and then allow them to explore the concepts independently and in groups. Later, we gather together to share and analyze what we have learned. This is how learning is supposed to work, but having it happen in my public school classroom is a little unnerving! I'm too used to fighting against the numbness that students seem to have by 4th grade in this system. To have them not only interested in learning, but also capable of it...it is a dream come true! :)

Two Challenges

Challenge, the First

Amy - Girl, you got to be READY. Cause we are gonna do the salon thing. I'm getting a trim and a loverly shade of burgendy. You?

Challenge, the Second

This one is for all of you. I am looking for a fabric guitar bag. The most important thing is that it be comfortable to carry. My current case is hell on my shoulders (Who decided that plastic made good padding for shoulder straps? Dumbass.). If I had my druthers, it would be Uber-Hippy. I'm thinking hemp or tie-dye. I'm also thinking around $50.00. If you find something that you think might fit this description, post a link.

Sparkly

I'm refering to my windows. I noticed yesterday that I could barely see out of the front window because of all the dirt and grime. Since I also needed to clean out the sliding door track in our room, I made it an all day cleaning event. I now have sparkly windows and a sliding door that, while it doesn't actually slide, actually opens and closes. Hoorah! Unfortunately, the hose I was using doesn't actually reach all the way around the house, so the windows in the front are still in need of attention. I believe I will go deal with them now.

PSA #134

How to Clean Your Blinds or Just Give Up Now

Yes, dear readers, I am here once again with some household tips to make your life a little easier. Why should you have to suffer when I have already learned handy tricks the hard way? So, here it is, everything you need to know about cleaning your blinds.*

1. Don't. Toss them and buy new ones. Really. It's not worth it. No, seriously. Life is too short for this kind of thing.

2. If you happen to have one of those financially aware, reality based people in your house who oppose this idea, have them try cleaning one set. Chances are they will come to their senses before they are half-way through and agree with you. Then go back to step 1.

3. If said person, for whatever reason ("I'm fine with them staying dirty."**), doesn't agree with you, I suggest hiring a maid, pawning the job off on your kids, or moving.

4. If all else fails, remember this one thing. Dry dust first. Brush that 1/4 inch layer of dust off BEFORE you indroduce anything liquid to the situation. If you forget this vital step, you will find yourself trying to wipe MUD off the blinds, which is something even I can't help you with.

* Please note that all advice is for those who clean house like me. I keep things neat on the surface and deep clean MAYBE once every couple of years. If you are one of those people who dusts regularly, this isn't the advice column for you.

** For the record, although Mikey would never allow me to just throw our blinds out and start over, he WOULD help me clean them. He would never leave me high and dry, stranded in a house with dirty blinds, no matter how little he cares.

Soooooo Cute

First you must see Magical Trevor. The tricks that he does are so very clever!

Then you must visit Kenya. They have lions and tigers, but only in Kenya!

But beware. The art in these things is so cute, you might need an insulin shot. :)

Kidney Update

We are currently in a holding pattern while the labs and doctors track down the results of my urine collection from last weekend. I did my part - collecting 3000+ ml* and turning them in first thing Monday morning**. I made sure to tell the Vampire Lady who to bill and where to send the results, but it seems that something got lost in translation. I spent several phone calls following the path of my errant collection, ending in the Big Lab telling me that they would take care of it. I will be calling first thing Monday morning to make sure they aren't the Big Fat Lying Lab.

In the meantime, I have been receiving near daily mailings from the Mayo clinic, each with a different set of instructions on how to fill out, mail in, not mail in, read, ignore, and dance on each page individually. Good lord. I am going to sit down this afternoon and sort through it all, completing what I can and making notes on what I can't. It's a good thing my appointment isn't until the 18th because I need that long to make heads or tails of the hospital beauracracy.

On a happier note, I managed to avoid a major observation at school because I am going to be in Rochester being manhandled by doctors. Hooray! Plus I got to look good 'cause I was able to tell the principal that "I would love to help you out, but...". Also school related: I have made lesson plans and photocopies that pretty much take me up to my October appointment. Within the next few weeks, I will get my lessons and copies done up for my big absense as well. Thank god for superb parent volunteers!

* I'm not sure exactly how much over 3000 ml, because I ran out of room in the official container and had to collect the rest in an old quart jar.

** When the Vampire Lady proceeded to poke me in the arm and once again left a HUGE, FREAKIN' BRUISE. I swear, she is the worst sticker in all of history.

Progress

Instead of agonizing over my progress reports (like last year), I was able to whip right through them. This is largely because about 90% of my kids are performing at an A or B level (unlike last year) and behaving themselves on a regular basis (also unlike last year).

At the end of last year I was relieved to see my kids go. I stood in the door on the last day, hugged them good-bye, wished them well, and then breathed a huge sigh of relief. There was no sadness. With this new group, I am already dreading the end of the year when I have to let these kids go and await the next year's unknown with trepidation. I imagined waving good-bye for the last time and I had a catch in my throat at the thought.

Oh, the difference a year can make.

Peace Everywhere!

At our staff development day yesterday, the assistant principal asked for volunteers to help make our schoolwide community building program more effective. It is called PeaceBuilders, and I personally really like the idea behind it. Unfortunately, if only a handful of the teachers are participating, it doesn't really have the oomph it could have. When she made the request, my team members all looked at me, saying that I was definitely the one to represent the 4th grade. This felt good, as I took it to mean that I have done a good job of demonstrating how important peace/cooperation is to me. They think of me as the one who can get things done in this area.

Winds of Change

We went to another Not In Our Valley meeting last night and got to know the group a little better. This was easy because there were only 13 or so people there. This was a source of frustration for those of us who showed up. There were about 50 people at the first meeting, a new group of 50 at the second meeting and now this. Much of our discussion was around how to recruit AND KEEP people for our cause. This, of course, led to questions of what our cause is exactly and who we are trying to target.

Despite the one gentleman who seemed to be taking a very adversarial position, we pretty much agreed that we need to focus on gathering information (from the groups that are already working against hate crimes - law enforcement, civil leaders, educators, businesses) and find a way to share that information with the public. Rather than trying to reinvent the wheel, we want to help the programs that are already in place be more effective and communicative.

At the end of the night, I ended up on the committee that will start brainstorming the activities and programs that will take place. I am thinking that we need a combination of informative speakers (police chief, school administrators, etc) and fun events that get people interacting with their neighbors. We'll see how that goes. There is also a committee that is going to create our mission statement and possibly develop a new name. Since we are being proactive about avoiding hate crimes rather than reactive to ones that have already happened, we would like to have a name with more positive overtones.

I am really excited about where this group is going, and I am thrilled to be a part of the inception. It didn't bother me much that there were only a few people there. It allowed for a very relaxed, informal setting in which to figure out exactly where we are trying to go. Once we have the oars in place, we will start recruiting the rowers. :)

Dang.

Progress Reports go home this Friday. That means that our first trimester is 1/2 over. That means that my school year is 1/6 over. Woah.

You know the old saying...

"If you lie down with the dogs, you'll wake up with fleas."

It looks like the Green Party's Ralph Nader has learned this lesson the hard way. I lost respect for him the minute he started accepting republican funding, and this just strengthens my feelings. It's things like this that made me decline to state my political affiliation, rather than sticking with the Green Party. I prefer to have my options open for when politicians lose their freakin' minds.

I know it's just a song...

...but if everyone sang along

Mikey shared this with me after school. I found it very moving.

http://www.sharedvoice.org/unamerican/

Thanks for singing along. :) Peace.

Well Deserved

I would like to thank my darling husband for convincing me that it was okay to turn the TV off, even though there was still a (or should it be an?) half hour of the Lindsay Lohan version of Parent Trap left to go. Once out from under its grasp, I enjoyed our saunter around the neighborhood very much, especially the multitudes of cats who were gracious enough to permit us to speak to them.

Observations

*Standing in front of the fridge on a Sunday afternoon, looking for something to graze on, becomes less appealing when the most prominent thing in the fridge is your urine collection container.

*My mind is so focused on my bladder right now that it feels like I have to pee every 10 minutes. I know I have been drinking lots of water, but I suspect my darling kidneys are just doing their darndest to prove that they can pee for two.

*I can't help but wonder how my bladder is comparing to everyone else today. Each time I pee I question whether I am peeing too much or too little. Is the Vampire Lady at the lab going to think "Is that all?" or "All that?" when I hand her my collection of liquid gold?

*It is very strange to have to stop by the kitchen on my way to the bathroom. It just feels wierd.

At What Point?

At what point do you pack up your things and move to a different country?

At what point do you confront respected adults about their inappropriate behaviors?

At what point do you go from being helpful to being obnoxious when trying to advise your siblings?

At what point do you give up on trying to retrain a cat to use the litterbox?

So many questions today. And so few answers.

Sacrifices

I sure hope that Amy appreciates what I am doing for her. No, I'm not talking about the kidney. I know she appreciates that. And besides, I don't really have to DO anything for that.

I'm talking about getting dressed and going to the gym on a Saturday morning instead of lounging in my pj's eating cookies. 'Cause that's the hard part. :)

Weekend Fun for You

While I am peeing into a jug, you can do something really fun. Below is a silly little meme that Mikey found somewhere.

1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it here as a reply.
4. Post a copy of this meme in your journal.

I can't wait to see what pictures show up. :) And be sure to let me know if you are participating so I can find a picture for you, too!

Have a good weekend.

PeaceWorks

We attended our second PeaceWorks meeting this evening. This meeting had a speaker on the topic of hate crimes in America. There were some very good questions/issues brought up and I enjoyed myself (as much as you can "enjoy" talking about hate crimes). We are having another Not In Our Valley meeting next week and I am going to copy flyers and give them to all the teachers at my school in an attempt to up the attendance. I'll let you know how it goes.

Weekend Fun

After numerous frantic phone calls and runs to the clinic/lab, I am finally set to do my 24 hour urine completion. I haven't been broadcasting my intention to collect and save my urine to my co-workers, but I am sure they would be glad to know that I am not going to have to store my collection in the staff fridge. Instead, I will collect Sunday and turn it in first thing Monday morning.

Aren't you glad you know all this? :)

SO Worth It

We don't usually go out on school nights, but tonight we ignored our scheduled work-out to have dinner and a movie together. Shyamalan's The Village was playing at the cheap theatre and it was worth every single cent. I think Shyamalan's films are best seen in complete ignorance of what the film is about, so I will say nothing more than "Go see it". And remind you that his movies are most moving and meaningful when seen with a thoughtful mind and an open heart.

The world moves for love. It bends it's knees to it.

Or something like that. I tried to remember the exact quote, but I was too caught up in the story.

Plans

I have scheduled my 2 day kidney evaluation. (Dependent on getting my 24 hour collection finished, of course.) I will report to Mayo at 6:30 am on Monday, October 18 th and it should be finished by 5:00 pm the next day. I have arranged for a sub for Wednesday as well, to allow myself some travel/relaxation time afterwards. My current plan is to arrive sometime early in the weekend, so as to do some visiting. Anyone willing/able to pick up/drop off at the airport would be greatly appreciated. We may also be looking for a place to crash Saturday night in an attempt to avoid one night in a hotel. Depends on the schedule that gets worked out.

If all goes well for this round of testing, we will have a green light for the transplant. After talking with the coordinator, it looks like this will most likely happen around Nov. 22. Things could most definitely change between now and then, however. I'll keep you all posted.

Go Between

You would think that the people who do transplants for a living would have a good grasp on what you need to do to prepare for one. You might even suspect that they know what problems or questions will pop up along the way and be able to warn you of them or possibly even steer you around them. You would think.

Instead of getting my appointment made after being on hold for 15 minutes yesterday, I found out that I need an order form telling what particular kind of urine collection is needed. I would guess that this is a nation-wide thing. There probably aren't very many labs around the country who will do lab work for the fun of it. So, why wasn't this mentioned when I asked "So how do I go about getting this urine collection done?"

So, here I am, awaiting yet another call-back from the coordinator, who (because of the time zone difference) always manages to call at the most inopportune times, and getting antsy because nothing is getting done. I thought this would be the easy part.

What's a Quarter Worth, Anyway?

My day started out so well. I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. (Falling asleep at 8 pm could have something to do with that.) It amazes me how quickly it all went sour.

I blame the lady at the clinic who put me on hold for 15 minutes. I called to make my appointment (that didn't get made, btw) shortly before I was supposed to leave for work. I expected to call, tell them what I needed, and get a date and time for my appointment. No. I sat on hold for a quarter of an hour. By the time I found out that I didn't have enough information for the appointment, it was 8:35. I rushed to school, knowing that all the good parking spots would be taken. I was just thankful that I had gotten so well prepared over the weekend.

Or so I thought. I ended up making copies and taking care of little things all the way through my recess break, through more than half of my lunch and for nearly 2 hours after school. Sheesh. I just couldn't catch up and it's all because of those 15 lost minutes in the first hour of my day.

Can't Laugh, Can't Throw Something...

So what the hell are you supposed to do when THIS happens?

A student was having a hard time buckling down to his writing assignment so I said, "I want to see pencil to paper!" When I looked over, I saw that he had the tip of his pencil pressed to the middle of his paper. Now, although I could tell that this was blatant defiance, I chose to ignore it. Instead, I encouraged further, "I want to see you write, Bob!" I watched as he wrote something in tiny letters at the top of his paper. When I walked over it was confirmed that he had, in fact, written "BOB".

Dammit.

It ticked me off that he was being so defiant, but a little part of me was a little bit impressed by his refusal to cave to authority. I still made him finish the assignment though.

Speaking of Blogs...

Who have I been reading lately? Let's take a tour.

After I have checked my own blog for comments, I head right over to Amy's to see what's happening in her world, especially now that we're going through the transplant process together. This is quickly followed by The Back Forty and Mikey's Journal, providing more insight into the lives of family members. Next, All Blogged Up, Coffee Achiever, Defective Yeti, Munkay #9, Not So Simple and Utter Wonder are where I go for my daily wacky. And I do mean Wacky. Confessions gives me a peek into teaching - Japanese style. Maineline, when it has been updated, presents the saga of a true Nor'Easter. I then flip through Dooce, Dragonfly, the blog formerly known as LOD, Moody Mama, WWdotN and A Little Pregnant for often humorous, but sometimes heartbreaking tales of parenthood in all its glory. Rotting Dead always has something interesting about horror movies, horror games or horror stories...oh, the horror! And of course, my minimal interest in politics is satiated by Daily Kos, FARK, and Over/Spun. If I have the time, I end my travels at funnies - Penny Arcade being my latest fave.

On the weekends, I usually surf the rest of my blogroll as well. I'm always looking for new, well-written blogs to check into. What are YOU reading these days?

I feel old.

Yikes. Is it just me, or does it actually, physically hurt to read this stuff? It can't actually be faster to type like this, can it?

Hello! I no twas ages ago, bt im gonna tell u bout my summa coz this is the 1st time i've actually had a chance 2 rite on here. the problem is, i cnt reli remeber wot i did ne more! well ill hav a go neway. 1st woz the skl music tour 2 austria. I no sum of u were there so ull no wot twas like, bt 4 those hu werent, twas reli kl. 23hrs on a coach jst 2 get there wasnt 2 much fun, espeshly wen i cudnt sleep, bt twas worth it coz the tour was reli gr8. lots of shoppin, slides in salt mines, loadsa other gr8 times bt i cnt list em all (mainly coz i hav the memory of a goldfish). reli nice grp of ppl 2, thnx guys if ur reading this, i hope u enjoyed it as much as i did.

*Borrowed from Sealgirl's blog. Not that I am recommending it...just giving credit where credit is due.

Good grief.

Bloggety Blog

I just checked my hit counter for the first time in a very long time. According to the counter, I am getting an average of 25-30 hits per day. This is way up from the average 10-15 I was getting previously. I can't help but wonder who these people are who wander through. What do they think of the site? How many of them are regulars? Not many, I suspect, but I don't really know.

I also just checked at all the meme blogs I used to borrow from - Friday Five, Weekly Wrap-Up, This or That Thursday, etc - and not a one of them is still running. I guess that is a fad that has passed. And obviously, a blog with nothing but questions can't stand on its own. There has to be someone willing to answer the questions. Anyway, I deleted the links I had to those particular blogs.

Speaking of deleting links, if there are links you typically follow from here you will want to bookmark them for yourself. I am going to do some housecleaning of the blogroll sometime soon. There are a few links that I just never click anymore and they have to go to make room for some of the interesting things I have run across lately.

There You Go

Dory: Everything's going to be alright.

Marlin: How do you know? How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?

Dory: I don't!



Finding Nemo is a GREAT movie.

It Takes Two

I am always slightly impressed with my relationship when we come out of a disagreement or otherwise unpleasant conversation having worked together to solve the problem in a way that is productive, fair, and hopefully do-able. Yay, us! :)

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Wow. I was never worried about the monetary aspect of donating a kidney. On the practical side, we made sure we could afford it. I checked on my available sick leave, and Mikey checked on our finances. We would have dipped slightly into our savings, but we could definitely afford it. On the more spiritual side, I figure that what you give comes back to you ten-fold (can you imagine? 10 kidneys?), so I knew that no matter what, things would work out for the best.

Now I don't have to worry at all, because my aunt and uncle have offered to cover the costs of flying and housing during the testing and surgery. Since my cousin's insurance is covering everything else, we aren't going to have any trouble at all. Wow. It is amazing how generous people can be. Thanks muchly, Paul and Lynn! :)

The Politics Test

I ended up right between Hillary's left shoulder and Ghandi's right shoulder. No big surprise there.

Where were you?

All I Will Say on the Matter

You know you have been too accomodating to someone when they don't hesitate to suggest that you plan your major surgery at a time when visiting you won't interfere with their other plans.

You know you love that person very much when you figure you probably would have done so anyway.

You know you are going to get an ulcer when you only comment vaguely about the subject rather than ranting like you should.

Whatever. We now return you to the regularly scheduled up-beat, cheerful Soleil already in progress.

With Flying Colors

I have always done well on tests - partly because I am just a good test taker, and partly because I am driven to succeed. I was one of those kids who asked to take a make-up test if I got a B-. Monday, I took a test for which I was totally unable to prepare. I sat in my chair during the test wishing I had studied more or prepared a bribe for the "teacher" or something that would assure me a passing score. All week, the question of my score sat in the back of my mind, quietly biding its time. Had I passed? Had I even come close? How was I going to handle a failure?

This morning the waiting came to an end when the transplant coordinator called me at about 8:30. As we exchanged pleasantries my brain was fidgeting like a hyperactive 4th grader, dancing around and tugging at our sleeves. She first re-affirmed that we were a blood type match. Then, instead of the "But..." I was so afraid I would hear she said, "And when we did the crossmatch there was no reaction between your blood and hers." No reaction. My heart skipped a beat as I double checked my brain files for what that meant. No reaction = good.

WWWWWWhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Had I been at home I would have been dancing and shouting. As it was, I just gave "D" the thumbs up and a big grin. We finished our conversation and I hung up. No reaction. This was the only test I had ever taken and gotten a score of zero. And I was thrilled.

So suddenly, this kidney transplant thing is a discussion in reality rather than hypotheticals. I need to make some appointments on Monday - one for a 24 hour urine collection here in Temecula and the other for a 2 day battery of tests evaluating the health of my kidneys in Minnesota. Barring any unforseen problems, we will soon be talking transplant. Keep me and my kidneys in your thoughts...

Too many summaries!

I know it is time to stop grading when the little notes I write stop making sense.


And on a completely different subject, I am going to start calling the transplant coordinator to find out the results of my crossmatch. Keep your fingers crossed.

Spooooooooky.

Friday night, I had a dream that I was wandering up and down the halls of a large, meandering building looking for my best bud from school (We'll call her "D"). I was desperate to find her because she was supposed to give me a kidney (gee, i wonder where that is coming from...) and I couldn't find her anywhere. Near the end of the dream, I was just wandering up and down the halls yelling her name in a sad, forlorn little voice. I turned a corner, and there she was, lying in a hospital bed with her hubby by her side and a newborn in her arms. As I woke up, I thought, "Well, of course she can't give me a kidney. She's having a baby."

Monday morning, "D" came into my room, all aglow, saying that she had news she couldn't keep a secret any longer. Yup. She's due in April. I wonder if I will be able to forsee the sex of the baby, too? :)

*Interesting Sidenote*
Although I maintain my belief that we should not have kids, I have to admit that there was an INTENSE rush of maternal longing for about 30 seconds after she told me. All I could think was how fun it would be to share the experience with her. Then I came to my senses. I have told her that I am going to experience pregnancy vicariously through her. So if I start to act crazy, blame it on the hormones.

Let Me Go Oouuuuut...Like a Blister in the Sun....

Somehow in the course of doing yardwork Sunday, I managed to get a big honkin' blister on my middle finger. It doesn't really hurt, but I am totally creeped out by what is going to come oozing out when it pops. Shudder.

Vampire Lady

Yesterday morning I stopped at the lab before school to have my blood drawn. Although all we needed was three small vials, I left with two puncture holes and two bruised elbows. (Is the inside of your elbow still called your elbow?) The vampire who drew my blood failed to impress me much, what with the talking on her cell phone, digging around in my arm with the needle, telling me I should ship the results myself ("There's a UPS store just across the street. It wouldn't take you long." Like I wanted to walk in with a box marked "Attention - Human Blood"! And of course, she was still charging me for the handling.), losing the vacuum seal in the vials, and all. Eventually, it got done, it got shipped, and I got bandaged up and on my way.

Now I just sit and wait. I hate that.

Finally

For those who are wondering, I just got my blood draw kit in the mail yesterday. I will be going to the lab first thing Monday morning. From what they tell me, we should have numbers within the week. I'll keep you posted.

In Memory

September 11, 2001 was a life changing day for many Americans. Hell, for many humans. The reprecussions of that day are still being felt in cities all over the world. Many beliefs crumbled along with those massive towers. Many lives are being cleaned up, redesigned and rebuilt along with Ground Zero. In some instances, people have been bonded together with the strongest of ties. In others, people have become more polorized than ever. There is no doubt that it was a turning point.

I remember taking my break in the teacher's lounge, watching the television as people around the world attempted to make sense of the chaos we were seeing. I remember flinching and turning away as they showed footage of that plane hitting the building one more time. I remember having to get up and return to work - which at the time was caring for and teaching preschoolers with autism. They didn't have a clue what was going on and wouldn't have understood if they did. Having to focus my thoughts on those 7 boys kept me calm that day. Immersing myself in the act of love that teaching must be, prevented me from dwelling too long on the hatred that I had just seen. I will forever be greatful for those boys, because in their innocence and need they insulated me from the obsession so many experienced. I am relieved that I was unable to sit in front of the television that day and watch that footage the hundred times it was played. I wonder what I would be today if not for those boys.

So what AM I today? I am a teacher. I am a vegetarian. I am a pacifist. I am an activist. I am a patriot. I am aware of my beliefs on a whole range of things that I had never even thought about before 9-11-01. I am the person who wants to actually get a recycling program for our school, rather than just draw pictures about how good recycling is. I am opposed to capital punishment and abortion and war. I am ready to fight for my right to carry a camera, speak out against the government, and refuse to say "Under God" in the pledge. I am an American. I am a human. And I am proud of who I am.

I will forever be saddened by the losses that were suffered on Sept. 11. I will forever regret the actions that were taken in the name of patriotism and freedom. However, I will also forever remember 9/11 as the day I began to develop my beliefs. I will not forget.

Rocking the Boat

Or How to Alienate Your Mother-in-Law in One Quick Step

Last night, we had a birthday party for our little nephew who turned 3 on Thursday. As we were getting dressed, we were talking about how it's important to show your beliefs even in situations where they might not be readily accepted. In fact, that is where they need to be shown the most, otherwise you are just preaching to the choir. So, I decided to wear the t-shirt that says "If your aren't OUTRAGED, you aren't paying attention.". Although it is political, it isn't overtly "liberal". It all depends on your perspective.

Anyway, we got to the in-law's and no one said a word. I changed into my suit and took a dip in the pool (you should see that little boy jump off the diving board!), while preparations were being made. It was only after we left the pool and were sitting around chatting, that the subject of my shirt came up. A friend (hi, I!) commented that she hadn't seen the shirt and my MIL replied something along the lines of "Maybe no one else should see that shirt." This was the point at which I realized that I was treading on thin ice. She had invited another couple (very conservative in their politics) over and she was worried how they would react. My MIL does NOT like confrontation.

After much discussion and speculation ("Does it have cuss words on it?") I put the shirt on. I offered to turn it inside out (it is her house, after all), but since the esteemed friend proclaimed it perfectly alright (thanks, I!), I was allowed to leave it. My FIL arrived and promptly said, "I like your shirt". The other couple arrived and didn't comment at all. Although the rest of us made vague references to it throughout the night ("I am paying attention, and I have noticed that there is no more corn." "You must be outraged!"), there was no heated political battle and no one got hurt. I did get a briefing on the infamous letter, but that turned into a discussion on how you can't trust any media these days - something we all agreed on.

I am afraid I have upset my adorable mother-in-law, though. I hope she can forgive me for daring to have beliefs and, even worse, daring to wear them on my chest.

To Breed or Not To Breed

*DISCLAIMER*
This post is in now way critical of my parents and any conversations we may have had regarding this subject. My parents not only have the right to wonder about the possibility of grandchildren from my neck of the woods, they also have been very understanding and accepting of our feelings.
*/DISCLAIMER

This is the ultimate question. Except that it usually isn't a question. It is an assumption. People always say "Well, when YOU have kids...". Usually, I let this go, but sometimes it is a situation where I have to declare/admit that we are not planning to have kids. This is inevitably met with "But you are so GOOD with kids! You would make a great mom." Which causes me to remark on my patience levels and how much I like sending my students home at the end of the day and how little I like dealing with temper tantrums, vomit, and diaper bags. Even as I say this I know what is coming next. The one sentence that every parent uses. "Well, it's different when their your own." I can usually manage to finish out the script politely saying, "I'm sure it is. But I would rather not take that chance with a child's life."

I have played this scene in so many places with so many people that I can do it in my sleep. Usually, these other cast members will grudgingly allow that we have the right to make this decision. Sometimes, it ends with "You're still young. I bet you change your mind." which always sets me on the defensive, although I try to stay relaxed about it.

People don't seem to recognize that our decision to be childless, much like our decision to eat vegetarian*, is our own. It isn't a whim or a lark or a momentary insanity. It is a choice that we spent much time talking and thinking about as we design our lives in the way that suits us best. We are adults, dammit. And we are both more thoughtful and more mature than many people our age. So give us a little credit!

*Hmm...having written this post, I now suspect that our decision to be veggie (which has been difficult for some people to accept) is actually what I am talking about. But I have no desire to rewrite this whole thing. So take it as you will.

Slobber Cat

Bonsai has taken to climbing on my chest during the night and purring as though he's trying to wake the dead. This of course, wakes me and I proceed to love on him - petting and talking in soft tones. This has become a bit of a ritual for us and as long as it doesn't go on too long, I don't mind it. In fact, it's kinda nice. Especially, since I was worried that he would never forgive me for the lack of food and the trip to the vet that one day last week.

So, like I said, it's kinda nice to have warm, rumbly kitten giving me kitteny kisses. Or it was.

I don't know if it is because of the pain meds he's been on since his surgery, or because he's tired, or because he's happy, but whatever it was, it caused him to drool excessively. At first, it was just a little dampness on his fur. Then it was a wet muzzle when he snuggled my face. The last straw was when he shook his head and drool flew from it in huge St. Bernard-like strings. Ick.

I had to turn on the light and wash my face! Not that this bothered Bonsai. The light woke Mikey up and Bonsai snuggled with him until I got back.

Sweet Mother of Pearl

To fully appreciate the full importance of this prophetic Onion article (written in the year 2001), you must understand that those are links peppered through-out. Links that lead to evidence that the highlighted item has, indeed, come to pass.

Oh, the horror.

Baby Bonsai

Poor little Bonsai had to spend the day at the vet today. He recently finished his final round of kitten vaccinations and it was time to have him neutered. He seems to be doing very well, although his eyes are very dialated and he's a little groggy. I think the most traumatizing part for him was having to go without food for most of the day. They told us to not let him have any food or water after midnight (like a Gremlin!), and he didn't get back home until about 5:00 or so. I guess he was still too drugged to eat while in recovery because they said he didn't touch the food they offered...but once he got home he pigged out. I am a little concerned that he's going to hurl all over the carpet! Anyway, he's home, he's sleepy, and we won't have to worry about him knocking up the neighborhood cats in the future!

M-I-C-K-E-Y....

Every once in a while something happens to me that is so far outside my realm of imagination that I couldn't have made it up if I tried. You wouldn't think this could happen - after all, I can think of some pretty weird things - but it does. And today, it did.

I was driving along the road, already late for a meeting I was supposed to be at, when suddenly there was a mouse (yes, you read that right, a MOUSE) running back and forth on my windshield wipers. The poor thing looked scared to death and I was freaking out, frantically chanting "Please don't fly off into traffic! Please don't fly off into traffic!" over and over in my head. I managed to pull off into a parking lot where I popped the hood and went in search of an object with which to encourage the little guy to vacate my car. By the time I returned, he was out of sight. I can only hope that he went OUT of the car and into the nearby grass. I would hate to think that he went INTO the engine and became mousey mush.

Going to the Beach

Happy Labor Day! I hope everyone is having a loverly time full of sun, friends, grills, and cold drinks. If you are lucky, you might even be near some water! We're headed over to Carlsbad in about an hour to spend the day with an adorable neice and nephew by the shores of the Pacific Ocean. See you later!

Big Jerk

It is a good thing that Mikey doesn't let me be in charge of customer services. Most of the customers he deals with are great - they send adoring letters and thank him for his speedy responses to their problems. This is to be expected since he is pretty much available to them 24/7. One of the reasons that I rarely get to go on a vacation is his need to cater to his customers. (While I occasionally resent this, I do know that it goes a long way towards increasing sales and getting his name out there.)

Every once in a great while, however, he has to deal with one of those idiot Neanderthal ones who couldn't be bothered to read any of the information he provides (in the multiple places on the website) and decide to take it out on him. In those cases, he is calm and respectful, often thanking them for their mindnumbingly stupid advice and always offering them a refund. Where I would resort to name calling and obsene suggestions, he takes the high road with courtesy and respect. I don't know how he does it.

Today, he actually had someone imply that it Mikey's fault that he (the customer) had to yell at his kid. In fact, there was the implication there that it went further than yelling at him. This man's poor parenting skills were Mikey's fault because there was nothing for him to do besides getting more and more angry when he couldn't make the game work, never mind the fact that he hadn't bothered to read the directions or Mikey's first attempt at helping him. Grrr.

It is just a good thing that I am restricted to cutting and folding, while Mikey handles the people. Because people are stupid difficult and I have very little patience for them outside of the classroom.

While listening to a news report by a guy named Matthew Chance.

"Boy, I bet he doesn't get mentioned in many wills."

Hehe

I wonder what the Young Marines in their camo outfits thought while they were washing my car and came across the bumper sticker that says "You can't kill for peace"?

Saturday Stuff

* I slept in this morning, ate a huge breakfast, and then lounged in the hammock, reading and napping, for several hours. It was bliss.

* We are once again going to the gym on a regular basis. Although the little voice whispering "you really could stand to lose 5 pounds" wasn't enough to motivate me, the one whispering "so, how well ARE you going to recover from surgery?" was.

* I better hussle if I am going to get the car wash I have already paid $5 for. It was a good cause, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if that turned out to just be a donation, but my car really is filthy. Plus, I would get to heckle the little guy who sold me the ticket. That would be fun.

2 Weeks Down

And I am still in love with my wonderful class. They aren't perfect - they learned on Friday that when I say "Clean off your desk before you go out for lunch", I mean it - but on the whole we are getting along smashingly. We are covering our curriculum smoothly and quickly. They are actively engaged in their learning PLUS we often have time left over for unrelated discussions and explorations. The difference between this and the tooth-pulling I had to do last year is still enough to have me floating on air every day. I wake up EAGER, not only to get to school (I always enjoy the environment of the school), but for the kids to join me.

321...Contact

I talked with the transplant coordinator today at lunch. Thank goodness I had studied because I had to pass a verbal exam before I could play. There were some real doozies on it...like "Have you ever been diagnosed with high blood pressure?" and "Do you do recreational street drugs or marijuana?" I must have gotten a decent grade because she agreed to send me a blood test kit which should be arriving in the mail in about a week.

I also spent some time talking with a coworker today about the transplant process. Her daughter was born with kidney problems, had a transplant when she was very young (3 or 4 years old?) and they have been dealing with infections and rejections for the past 10 years. I guess her daughter had a cadaver donation instead of a live donor. Anyway, since she had experience with the medical aspect of it, she was able to be very blunt (she's like that anyway) about the risks I would be facing. She also reminded me to be very involved and knowledgable about what was happening, since not all doctors are as worthy of complete trust as others.

My brain is obviously busy processing this whole thing constantly, since the word kidney pops into my mind on a regular basis now. I don't think I have ever thought about a body part this much! I suppose that will wear off as I come to terms with the reality of this, but for now it is just silly. "Okay kids, I want you to list 5 nouns on your paper. Pick anything you want - desk, pineapple, armchair, kidney - just as long as it is a person, place, or thing." Sheesh.

Odds and Ends

*I never thought I would be a coffee-shop regular. But I find myself hitting the Old Pacific Coffee place more and more often these days. They have smoothies that are just devine and on Sunday they only cost $2.00. ($3.95 on a regular day, but if you buy 10 you get one free.)

*Our class fish have now been named. In fact, this afternoon, when the PRINCIPAL came in to talk with a student, she found all the kids sitting ON TOP OF their desks while we discussed the merits of different names. I just hope (and I am pretty confident) that she understands the worth of this kind of thing. (And that I do occasionally discuss academic things!) Anyway, the fish are now named: the blue one is Sharky, the yellow one is Bubbles, and the orange one is...get this...Little Porkchop. And I was worried that I wouldn't like the names. I should have known better.

*I know have Making The Grade on my laptop as well as my computer at school, making grading and recording a snap. Loverly.

*It is hotter than "anything in the world" (Mikey's lame metaphor, not mine) here in Temecula these days.