Organized, Clean and Delicious

It's amazing how a little productivity can make a day slow down. I woke up this morning at about 9 feeling like the day was just RUSHING by. I think I was worried about my vacation days disappearing so quickly. Instead of just sitting wasting it, I decided to use all these free hours for something useful. What started as a quick washing of the dishes turned into a complete New Year's overhaul of the kitchen. I have a nice little pile of "goodwill stuff" forming in my living room and everything in the kitchen has been scrubbed and reorganized. I can open any cupboard in the whole room and be happy at the tidiness of it all. :)

Mikey has been at work too! He got some more of the icky caulking out of our big shower (yes, I know we have been working on that project for a long time - leave me alone!) and he has been cooking all day long. He is making what we hope will be a Black Bean Burger similar to the one served at Chili's. I have homemade Burger Buns in the oven and we have made a Strawberry Salsa to go on them. It tastes kind of like a strawberry daquiri. The burgers will be perfectly complimented by fries made in Mikey's new electric fryer. I can't wait for dinner! Yummy!

Foe Paws

Our poor kitties are very unhappy lately. I will no longer let them roam the backyard because Huzzah has gotten into screaming, hissing, growling fights with the neighbor's cat through the fence. Neither of them figured out how to get OVER the fence to really rumble, but I am not going to wait until that happens. They have been forbidden from going out without attentive human accompaniment, and since it is FREEZING out they are just going to be happy wandering in the garage.

I don't know where these silly titles are coming from, but I like them! I'll just send the usual silent thanks to my Hunt genetics (esp. G'pa Norm) and wait for the next batch.

Crust-fallen

I hate it when I have a beautiful ball of dough mixing in the mixer and I get all excited about how wonderful the loaf is going to be only to open the machine after the final beep to see the top crust all sunk in and wrinkly. Bah.

Monopoly Hangover

I woke up this morning with a Monopoly hangover. In case you are wondering, that is when you stay up until 1:00 in the morning hoping to make a miraculous turn-around in a 4 hour game that you have been losing for the last 2 hours and then make yourself get up only 7 hours later knowing that if you don't your natural bio-rhythms will have taken over for good and you will NOT be able to get up for work next week.

When you are winning, Monopoly is a fun game. Unfortunately, there is always that point when you realize that there is NOTHING you can do to turn the game around, but it is still going to take several hours for your opponent to actually win. This is more a problem when you only have 2 players, but I think it applies to just about any Monopoly game every played in the entire history of the world. I have recently learned that it also applies to the game RISK.

Why, yes! We DID get several board games for Christmas! How did you guess? This year I became the proud player of Monopoly - The America Special Edition (If you land on the Go To Jail corner you can either plead guilty or pay $20 to roll the dice - if you roll an even total you are guilty, an odd total and you are free. Sounds pretty accurate, right? I am very familiar with this side of our friendly legal system, since I went to jail about 6 times last night.) I also have Monopoly Junior - Dig'n Dinos, a much easier, faster version of the original. Of course, I still lost!

In the non-Monopoly genre (yes, there IS such a thing, Virginia), I received Risk - LOTR Special Edition and got to play as the dark side! I gave him a run for his money, but in the end Mikey won, as usual. I believe my downfall was my obsession with getting Lothlorien under my control. I lost many an orc to that hopeless end. The fun in this version is that you have to conquer the world before Frodo leaves Middle Earth with that damned ring.

And finally, a game that really needs more than 2 players is regular old Clue. This was one of our favorites when we were kids. And it is even better after you have seen the movie! :) We are working on 2 player rules, but they lack some of the suspense that usually comes with the game. It mostly involves hiding cards in each room, making it practically impossible to win the game until you have been in each room at least once. I'll let you know how that turns out. Meanwhile, I am off to nurse my Monopoly hangover with a little hair of the dog!

Crap

My brother's birthday was yesterday, and although I DID remember to send his b-day gift in the X-mas box, I did NOT remember to call him. Shame on me. There are so many wonderful things to remember about him, too...

- There was his obsession with the word "cookie" when he was about 10. It drove me NUTS, but that word still makes me think of him.
- And the time we were both in the play "Annie". I played the ventriloquist and he played my dummy. We stole the scene!
- Of course, there is the time he broke his arm running into the couch. The other brother came out unscathed and screaming, while this one was absolutely silent with a broken wrist. He also waited 3 days to tell anyone about his broken collar bone during his highschool years.
- There were so many times when we wrapped him in things - pop beads, Christmas lights, etc.
- We played baseball at Great Grandma's, catch in the front yard, Indians in the backyard and who-knows-what up on Sand Hill.
- He went in my room without asking, drove me crazy with his questions and his obnoxiousness, and used the same word over and over until you thought you would lose your mind.
- He always made me feel like being a big sister was an important job. No matter how awful he could be, I was ready to go to battle for him at the drop of a hat.

These are the things that I remember. He is and always will be my little brother, despite the fact that he is now taller than me, going to college and well on his way to being a very cool adult. I don't think he will ever be so old that I don't feel the urge to give him wet willies and noogies while teasing him about his girlfriend. I will never stop worrying about his temper, his health, or his sensitive, artistic soul. I can only hope that I remain 1/2 as cool in his eyes as he does in mine.

Happy Birthday, Bro!

MMmmmmm

Tonight's dinner rocked!

Onion and Cheese Rosti (grated onion and potato formed into pancakes and pan fried)
Carrot and Apple Salad (also grated with a mayo based dressing)
Italian Herb Bread (fresh from the bread machine)

All of it delicious and all of it homemade. Yum. I love my job, but I also LOVE being home with nothing to do but cook new foods (and clean up afterwards so it doesn't turn into a pig sty in here). Vacations are good. I am seriously looking forward to summer break in a totally new way! :)

Today's plans

*Unpack luggage
*Do laundry
*Find homes for all the Christmas loot
*Make some bread (mmm...Italian Herb Bread!)

*also played enormous amounts of Zoo Tycoon! T'was a very busy day, t'was.

2004 Goals

Mikey and I will be setting our new goals shortly. I am pleased with my ability to reach and maintain the ones I made last year, but there are a few that need to be focused on more intensely. I am going to set a goal about contacting family, especially my siblings. I am also going to set a goal about practicing my guitar. The trick is to make them do-able as well as useful.

Goodbye, Guilty Conscience

I forgot to mention earlier that Mikey and I have become 100% vegetarian recently. We are no longer having meat on special occasions or when with the in-laws to avoid uncomfortable conversations. I was tired of feeling guilty every time I looked at a menu. I was tired of having to talk myself into doing the right thing every time I ate something. So about a week ago, I decided that I am no longer eating fish, chicken, pork, beef or any other animal. Although I was sad to not partake of the beautiful roast that my sis-in-law made for Christmas Eve dinner, I truly enjoyed the rest of the meal (green bean casserole, potatoes, spinach salad, and yummy bread) because I wasn't having to make the decision. The decision was already made. I just had to stick to it, and that is MUCH easier.

We managed to get through our entire vacation without any major hassles. We didn't starve to death and I don't think we messed up anyone else's meals. It was a little frustrating that it couldn't just be a "normal" thing. It had to be a big deal for every meal - someone always made some comment about it. I wish it could have just been a non-issue, but I guess I understand the interest. And I know that they were only talking about it because they wanted to respect our wishes. I just wish I didn't have to convinve them that they don't have to worry about it.

We have two amazing new cookbooks that are strictly vegetarian. The Essential Vegetarian Cookbook by Diana Shaw and Passionate Vegetarian by Crescent Dragonwagon (yep, I think that's her real name). The first covers a lot of the whys and hows of vegetarian eating. Both are HUGE books and cover just about every area of cooking you can think of. I can't wait to delve in! And I am lucky enough to have a solid week of vacation left with which to do so.

More Boxing Day

I spent nearly an hour cleaning out my refrigerator this morning. I got it all sparkling clean and organized. Then I moved on to the pantry cupboard and did the same thing. This was the perfect time to do this because we were down to the bare minimum due to our X-mas vacation.

After organizing and taking inventory, we went to lunch at Rubio's. They sent us some coupons the other day so I was able to try out their new Especial Burrito. Except for the fact that they charge you $6 and some change for it, it was very good. Probably the best vegetarian burrito I have found in a fast food chain type place. I would definitely recommend it, but only if you are ready to spend an arm and a leg!

Finally, we spent an hour at Orchard's and an hour at Stater Bros stocking up our cleaned up kitchen. We now have all new staples and a TON of stuff we really don't need. We have 5 new cookbooks that need trying out, though!

I should go...Mikey is playing his newest and most beloved of games - Tony Hawk's Underground (THUG). Of all the things he asked for this Christmas, this was the one thing I knew he would be CRUSHED not to get. It wasn't a surprise, but the happy face he got when he opened it was wonderful just the same.

Happy Boxing Day!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, surrounded by family and good cheer, like I did. I hope everyone enjoyed it to the fullest and spent time reflecting on the loving people around you, like I did. I hope no one had the blues anyway, missing those who weren't there and traditions moved on, like I did. Christmas is, at once, my favorite and hardest holiday. I will probably write more about this another time. For now, I have a fridge to clean, wrapping paper to bag, shopping to do (Just groceries...I'm not CRAZY!), and the Special Edition Princess Bride to watch.

May you continue to wallow in the mud puddle of happiness and love that is this holiday season. Pig out now, so it can carry you through another hectic, confusing, mixed up year.

I'm still not here...

I have been busier than a beaver for the last couple of weeks. I am now on vacation, but of course, that is just a little more chaos. We are currently scrambling to get our house cleaned up so we can head to San Antonio for some holiday cheer with the in-laws. When I get back I promise there will be regular posting and probably some pictures. (I can't wait to show you our Christmas tree this year!) Have a wonderful Christmas. I'll see you in a few days!

I will be calling those I usually call on Christmas day. Or you can reach me on the cell phone. Happy Holidays, all!!

Quiet as a Mouse**

My voice is still on vacation. Lucky Mikey has had all the company of his loverly wife without all the hassle of having to make conversation! :) Every guy's dream.

**As I type this, our little mouse (Zazzy) is squeaking and squawking all over the place! I am a quieter mouse than she is!

And as a silly little aside...did you happen to notice how many "q"s were in this post? How quaint!

On the First Day of Christmas...

We can never wait until the 25th, so we have to come up with legitimate reasons for opening presents early. This year we decided to go with a 12 days of Christmas theme for the holidays. Gifts were broken into 12 categories, each based on a line from the song. For example, on one day you can get something to watch (eg. the Partridge Family) and something to eat (a pear). On other days you can get something for the house (piping) or something to hear (drumming). See? It's FUN! We draw numbers each day to see which present we get to open. Since we are going on holiday for a few days right at Christmas, we will not be opening something each night. This means that we set aside some of the best presents (or in my case - the ones that haven't arrived yet!) and there will be an extravaganza on Christmas night.

I love the holiday season!

Oh - and we are not making a 3D tree this year. We are instead using a little homemade tree that one of my students gave me. It is strips of green fabric tied around a dowel and it is adorable! It is only about 9 inches tall so Zazzy can't possibly be scared of it!

Shhhhh...

I am as quiet as a mouse today. I managed to make it to the end of the week without calling in sick, but I am paying for it today. When I open my mouth, not a sound comes out! I wasn't much better yesterday, but there was enough there to get by. I had to resort to little kid methods of getting their attention tho - flickering the lights is a good one when you can't talk.

Every time I lose my voice at school I learn a particular lesson. Unfortunately, being the kind of person I am, I never manage to transfer that lesson to my healthy days. The lesson is this - if you speak softly, people get quieter so they can hear you. It is true. My normally incredibly loud class managed to hear me better yesterday when I could barely talk, than any other day that I am capable of raising my voice above the din of 32 other voices. Does this keep me quieter on regular days? No way! I am a loud person by nature and if my voice is there, I use it. And then they use their voices too. Ugh. Some people never learn.

Off to a dentist appointment. See ya later.

And Many Happy Returns

My darling is celebrating his birthday today. He got dinner out (Pik-Up-Stiks), a video game (Enter the Matrix), a foot rub, and a cold. I am a generous person. Neither of us was feeling much like partying, but we had a nice night anyway. Party animals that we are, we're still up and here it is...already after 8 pm. Whoa. Time for bed!

Toughing it out

I woke up last night feeling like someone had used an eyedropper to apply battery acid to my vocal cords. I was sure that my voice would be gone by the end of the day today, but I got lucky. Instead I just have a new, deep, sexy voice. If you like the I-smoke-6-packs-a-day-and-drive-an-18-wheeler type. The fifth graders and I were making predictions (the school sanctioned version of making a bet) about how I would feel tomorrow. They don't think I am going to make it. One of them said, "The 4th graders are too loud and they make you talk too much." Not just the 4th graders, sweetie!

What do you get...

...when you cross a teacher, a combo class and a cold?

You really don't want to know! I was so STUPID today. I couldn't stay focused. I lost my train of thought in mid-sentence. I forgot things almost immediately. My only saving grace was that I was released for most of the morning to observe other teachers. So the kids had someone with a brain for at least part of the day. Fortunately, they were fairly nice to me all day. They took advantage of my mental absence a little, but for the most part they behaved themselves. I am a lucky girl.

Now I am tired, my head hurts and I have PILES of correcting and recording to do. I think it is going to have to wait. Which is a shame because I am inches away from having so much paperwork to do that it is totally overwhelming. Oh well.

Winter Break is only 10 days away. Winter Break is only 10 days away. Winter Break is only 10 days away.

Life isn't Fair

I guess I spoke too soon last night. I did get to stay home today, but not because I was playing hooky. That cold had not actually retreated. It had simply run off behind the hills to rally its forces. It snuck up on my while I was sleeping, blockading my left nostril and holding my mind hostage. So much so that when I went in to write up my sub plans it took me almost 90 minutes (despite the fact that I already had my own lessons written up) AND I took the necessary componants of a major assignment for the day home with me. By the time I realized, they didn't need them anymore, but I doubt I would have had the moral or physical strength to go in again anyway. Poor sub. I will have to call and apologize. I hope they were nice to her. They aren't always, you know.

Today I managed to get presents wrapped and a few papers graded in-between breaks. I wish I could take tomorrow off too, since I know I am still not up to snuff (the little guys are gonna eat me alive tomorrow!), but I am not about to waste any more sick days. I have two week's worth of vacation coming soon. I can rest then. In the meantime - GO, GO, GO! And I am going to GO right now. Right off to bed. Wish me speedy health. Or at least the ability to breath all night. :)

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

Okay. My cold seems to have given up and headed off. I was just too tough for it. On top of that, I just about finished my holiday shopping, I wore my Christmas sweater and I went to the first Christmas party of the year complete with singing of carols. I think I am starting to catch the spirit. I wish I could stay home tomorrow and decorate. Maybe I will have a relapse during the night. Hmm. Yeah...I can feel it now...cough, hack, wheeze. Do I feel like I have a fever? Just let me sit next to the fireplace for a minute and then check. :)

And one other thing...

While I am complaining, let me register my displeasure at having to SCRAPE MY FREAKIN" WINDSHIELD three times this week. I am actually carrying my scraper in my front seat footspace like I used to in MN. That is just WRONG.

It is really December?

In my mind it isn't really Christmas until there is snow on the ground and frost in the air. Winter doesn't officially start until I have to drive through at least one crappy snow storm or get my car pulled out of one snowbank. Chilly nights and nippy mornings are a sign of early October, not mid December. My midwestern mind can't handle these subtle SoCal season changes.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. I LIKE living here. I hated having to bundle up to run out to get the mail. I hated turning on my car 15 minutes before I actually had to go anywhere or, worse yet, sitting around for 15 minutes after I should have left waiting for the windshield to clear because I FORGOT to start the car early. I hated having to carry snow boots around with me, keeping track of my mittens and feeling obligated to wear a hat (something I NEVER do) for health's sake.

I am just saying that I have a hard time getting into the holiday spirit when I feel like Halloween is still just around the corner. For the last couple of years, Christmas has snuck up on me, leaving me under-decorated, unfinished shopping and unable to enjoy the season the way I used to. And with the new job I don't even have enough time or energy to keep my house clean, much less deck the halls.

If I didn't feel so crappy, I would get off my lazy behind and put up our 2-D tree. Maybe tomorrow. Or, if I am not yet feeling good enough to face a room-ful of hellions, on Monday. In the meantime I play the Nutcracker as often as I can in my classroom. My kids laughed when I started to dance to my favorite parts during our spelling test on Friday!

A cold or not a cold?

Enough that I fell asleep while watching Mystery Science Theater! I actually don't feel too bad, but my throat hurts and my body is a little achy. It's that pre-sick feeling. I am hoping that I can rest it away before it gets bad. I do NOT want to have to try to explain Monday's plans to a sub!

Anyway, I fell asleep during MST3K only to have the phone jerk me back into reality. My heart is STILL thumping away. There is nothing quite like being woken up from a daytime, sickness induced nap by a loud phone. And it wasn't even anything worth answering. Thanks alot, ya jerk!

Learnin' Letters

Mikey and I came up with the wonderful idea of making a computer game for our nephew. It is designed to teach a child what the main keys on the computer do. It also teaches the letter shape, name and gives a picture of something that starts with that letter.

press "a"
see - "Aa" and a big red apple
hear - "A is for apple. (crunching sound)"

Mikey made all the artwork and we made the sounds together. Today we added numbers and shapes.

press "1"
see - "1 Square" and a big red square
hear - "1 Square"

It is now just about ready to go. Only about a year later than planned. The nephew already knows his colors, some shapes and most letters. At least the nephew has a new little sister who can also use it!

the Angels and the Devils within

I am torn between being absolutely amazed at the amount of work I am getting done with my class and wanting to throttle them because of the stupid choices they have been making lately. On the one hand, they are definitely keeping up with the speed of 4th and 5th grade much better. I was whipping through some instructions the other day and I told them how proud I was that they were keeping up with me. At the beginning of the year, their poor little brains would have melted. But on the other hand, they are driving me crazy with their non-stop talking and the rediculous questions (Should I put my name on this? THEY ARE STILL ASKING THAT QUESTION!!!!). I just have to stop, take a deep breath and remind myself that they are children. Unfortunately, at the same time I remember that these are the adults of 20 years from now. Egads. We've got our work cut out for us.


*Luckily, the CARE these children have for each other gives me hope despite my concerns.

Whoo Hoo!

All those things I ordered on half.com and starting to show up. Every day there are packages on my desk. It is fun to get things in the mail!! Now if I could only remember who got what...

The Flip Side

You know where to go for the other side of the story.

The Return

Today was the first day back at school. After a week of sleeping in, lounging around and watching INSANE amounts of television, I was ready and willing to return to my classroom. Apparently, so were the kids. We had a very productive day and there were multiple moments when I was amazed by them.

I had three new students today, all 4th graders. If you are not a teacher, then you have no idea how absolutely disruptive it is for everyone when students move mid-year. Not only is it hard for the student who moved, but it is also difficult for the teacher to re-explain all the things that the rest of the class spent a whole trimester learning in a quick 5 minute tour. My students jump to the rescue immediately. They all pitch in with helping the new students learn the ropes as smoothly and as quickly as possible. New students only feel out of place for about 4 minutes in my room! I love that about my class.

Before the break, we were studying double digit multiplication. I was terrified that after a week of no school all that information that I had been cramming into their little heads would have all dribbled out their ears. So we did a review today. I wrote a sample problem up on the board (52 x 93) and asked a student who had been struggling to help me complete it. When they "help" me they have to tell me every single thing, up to and including exactly where to write the numbers. And if they don't use the proper terminology I get "confused" and can't follow their instructions. Anyway, this kid walked me through the whole problem without stumbling even once. I was thrilled. Later, I asked another student who struggles in math to do a more difficult problem (316 x 25) and she, too, was able to walk me through the whole thing. I couldn't praise them enough!! I am so proud of them for remembering the things they worked so hard to learn and I am proud of myself for teaching it in a way that they understand and remember. It was one of those moments that makes it all worth while.

This trimester we will be focusing on responding to literature with both grade levels. They have a book report due soon, so I was showing them exactly how I expect it to be done. "On this part of the mobile (We do COOL book reports, not boring ones!) you will tell me the theme, or the main idea, of the story. I am using Charlotte's Web for my report. Who can tell me what the theme of that story is?"
One of my boys amazed me with this - "Friends never die. No, 'cause she DID die. Um. Friendships never die. 'Cause Wilbur will always be her friend."
And then one of my girls put it into a wonderful complete sentence for us. "In Charlotte's Web, Wilbur learns that although friends may die, friendships never do."
DAYUM! I love it when they overacheive like that! I told them that they had set my expectations pretty darn high and that I would be expecting the best book reports ever! :)

It's days like these that make it all worth while. Moments that show you are making an actual difference in the way kids think and act. These are the days that give me the energy to get out of bed and into my classroom after three days of non-stop rain and several run-ins with "interesting" parents. I take these days and store them away, like a squirrel storing nuts, because they are my spiritual sustenance. They are my hope.

I like shopping??

Online shopping is the most amazing thing. I can have all the fun of spending money and getting things without any of the hassle of crowded stores, obnoxious salespeople or tired feet.

one S or two?

Note to self:

a sweet treat you eat after a meal has a double S
a hot, dry place where cactus grow has a single S

And you call yourself a teacher!

Important Turkey Day Questions

There were three kids at the house where we ate our turkey. One it 2nd grade, one in Kindergarten and one who was 2 years old. The kindergartener asked Mikey the following questions...

Do you like dessert better than God?
Do you like dessert better than me?
Do you like dessert better than a real horse?

I guess Mikey was giving off the impression that he REALLY liked his pumpkin pie! :) Actually, I think it was a very sneaky ploy to get him to agree to give a horsey ride. She was disappointed that stuffed-to-the-gills Mikey and Solee weren't as much fun as hungry-as-bears Mikey and Solee. She eventually wandered off to fall asleep on an uncle's lap.

Thanksgiving Day

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all, a good nap.

We are having dinner (actually more like an early lunch) with the in-laws today. While they are all good people, I am at a loss when it comes to making dinner conversation with them. I was raised in families that got quite raucous at the dinner table. Anything and everything were considered fair game. People knew what your hot buttons were and would make a point of pushing as many of them as possible - all in fun of course. We would get loud and obnoxious and have a lot of fun.

My newest family is not like that. Not to say that they are uptight or anything. But I feel like I need to mind my manners and not talk about things like snot or midgets or politics at the dinner table. Dinner becomes a situation during which I must monitor myself at all times, lest I forget who I am with.

Time to go. Sigh.

Egg Nog and Other Pleasures

One of the pleasure of living in my own house is that I can buy a carton of eggnog and drink it at my leisure. I don't have to worry that the ravenous beasts that are my brothers will finish it off before I get a chance to even open it. And since my husband thinks drinking eggnog is nearly as, if not more, offensive as drinking snot, I don't even have to share it! I am indeed living the good life.

While I'm on the topic of foods, let me just say that nothing is better than a mozzarella and tomato sandwich, with the mozzarella sliced thin and the tomatoes sliced THICK, on fresh rosemary bread slathered with copious amounts of mayonnaise and a light dusting of salt, pepper and oregano. I can, and do, eat these concoctions whenever possible - morning, noon and night.

But I'm on Vacation!!

It's really not fair. Last night, or rather early this morning, I had a double serving of nightmares.

It all started with a bizarre little dream involving myself, my brother, an old pickup truck and the driveway plow. We couldn't figure out why the pickup was handling so poorly until we looked behind us and realized that we hadn't disengaged the grader. It was dragging along behind us. We both knew we were going to be in trouble. A co-worker of mine suddenly arrived and gave us a ride to school.

That evolved into one of my regular work nightmares. I was in my class and I couldn't control them. I couldn't get them to stop talking. I was about to start sending kids to the office when in walks another co-worker and he totally took over. It was like he KNEW I had no control over my room and he just took it away from me. As soon as he walked in the door, the whole class snapped to attention. I looked at them in shock and said, "Why?? Why now?" Then, I crawled around the room, cleaning up little things that were littering the floor and sobbing quietly to myself while he conducted a wonderful, engaging lesson about ecosystems.

Finally, the co-worker left and I had the kids go out in the hall to wash their hands (he had served them french fries and ketchup at some point and they were all sticky) while I gathered the dirty paper plates into the trash. I realized that my class was in the hall with no supervision, so I started out the door. Just then, the guy in charge of my first year teacher training came in. I thought he was going to ask where my class was, but instead he asked if I had seen a particular person. I said no and he told me to let him handle everything. By this time I was scared and demanding that he tell me what was going on. All he would say is, "I'm sure it was an accident. I'm sure he didn't mean it." Then he told me that he was going to take me to the emergency room to see my brother's mom (that is how he said it, "your brother's mom") who had been hurt by the other person. I swayed against the wall and crumpled to the floor, moaning. As I was waking up, I noticed that my class was still watching me.

It isn't fair for me to be having nightmares now. I am on vacation! I am NOT stressed. Also, both of the underlying issues of these nightmares are things that I thought had been somewhat settled. Obviously, my subconscious has yet to get the memo. I'm sure there are some interesting interpretations of these dreams to be had. Maybe I should get me a dream analysis book. Or not. There are some things I don't want to know.

Gearing up for the New Year

I was recently reviewing the list of goals I made for myself last year and I was amazed to find that I have maintained a surprising number of them. What made it work this year when I have never been able to stick to a goal for more than a week in previous years?

First, Mikey and I both set goals. Many of them were things we do together. It is easy to be encouraging to someone when you know exactly what their goals are. I could really encourage and praise Mikey for networking since I knew this was something important to him. Mikey could help me remember to practice my guitar since he knew this was an important goal to me.

Next, our goals were very specific. We focused on 3 main areas: Family, Personal and Work. Personal and Family included the subareas of Financial, Health/Fitness, Relationships, and Travel. Personal also includes Employment, while Family includes Household. Work includes the subareas of Continued Education, Networking, Short Term Goals, Long Term Goals and New Skill. Each goal explains what the goal is and how we will reach it.

Finally, our goals were reasonable! I didn't set goals that weren't very important, meaningful and reachable. I know from previous experience that if I am not dedicated to a goal, it is soon ignored. Even with my careful goal setting last year there are some goals that just didn't make it. Now I know what to change for this year!

PERSONAL GOALS
*Financial - Set aside babysitting money for a trip home in May. This was for my brother's graduation. I did save that babysitting money and I did go on this trip. It was short and hectic, but I was happy to be there for him.
*Health and Fitness - Reduce weight to 150 lbs through exercise and healthy eating. I am currently just over that weight. I am sad that the sun is setting so early these days because it keeps me from biking to and from work. - Reduce tv watching to 3 specific shows and daily news. This didn't happen. I am weak. - Limit computer time to 2 hours daily. I stuck to this goal only because I am too busy to be on the computer now.
*Relationships - Contact each sibling by phone once a month. I am very sorry to say that this has not happened. This will be made even MORE specific and focused on for the upcoming year.
*Travel - Set aside babysitting money for a trip home at Christmas. I took this trip during the summer instead. I decided that it would be better to take the trip when I had oodles of spare time, rather than when I only had a couple weeks. Unfortunately, I am no longer babysitting so next year's trips will have to be financed another way.
*Employment - Maintain status as teacher with contract at TVUSD. Yep. I had a brief scare when they pink-slipped all the new teachers, but it all worked out!

FAMILY GOALS
*Financial - Use new budget and allowance system to maintain finances and build savings. That allowance game was one of the best things we have ever come up with. I swear that I could write it up as a relationship advice book and make millions!
*Health/Fitness - Two 30-minute sessions of aerobic exercise a week. For a while we were biking nearly every day, but now we do nothing. BAD! - Maintain healthy eating habits. We have been eating a mostly vegetarian diet since June or so. I don't know if it is exactly what I want to do forever, but for now it is working.
*Relationships - Set aside one night a week for "family time" with no telelvision allowed. This didn't happen either. I can see that my relationship catagories need work.
*Travel - Go to San Luis Obispo by train for anniversary. We gave this one up because I had just gotten back from my long trip home and neither of us wanted to go anywhere. We played mini-golf instead. This will carry over to next year, I believe.
*Household - Complete minor household repairs ourselves. Although we are not good at it, we ARE trying.

WORK GOALS
*Continued Education - Participate in district "new teacher" program. This was something I was eager to do, since it will help me clear my credential. - Take one class in something of interest to me. I started with a Tai Chi class that I enjoyed. Now I am taking my guitar lessons. I was sad to learn that my guitar instructor is planning to move in about 6 months. I better learn fast!
Long Term Goals - Secure a full time contract teaching 3rd grade at JES. I got the full time contract, but it wasn't with 3rd grade. I am okay with that. My goal for next year will be to get a full time 4th grade contract.
New Skill - Learn 10 guitar songs for use in the classroom. Interestingly, I am less interested in using the guitar in my class than I am in using for my own personal entertainment. I have learned a couple songs. I am enjoying the more in depth instruction I am getting.

The RPS Society

I was watching Conan O'Brian the other day. He was interviewing the world champion RPS player. For those of you who are not in the know - RPS is short for Rock, Paper, Scissors. Yes, there is actually a world champion for a game that is based entirely on chance. This is the same game that the kids in my class play to decide who gets to sharpen their pencil first or who gets to have the best marker.

I don't think you are taking this seriously enough...There is a WORLD CHAMPION for Rock, Paper, Scissors!

To beat a competitor you must, naturally, win 2 out of 3 throws. RPS King, Rob Krueger from Toronto, won C$5,000 (US$3,825) with the daring "Fist full of Dollars" combination. This consists of rock, paper, paper. Other combinations include "Avalanche" (rock, rock, rock), "Paper Dolls" (scissor, paper, scissor) and "Toolbox" (scissor, scissor, scissor).

Although some consider an RPS tournament to be all in good fun, complete with homemade costumes, others take it very seriously. People have been known to use intense warm-up sessions, develop complex strategies and bring along their own team doctor.

After about 3 minutes of conversation with the smarmy Mr. Krueger, Conan was driven to challenge him to an on-the-spot, one-throw, winner-takes-all competition, no warm-ups or anything. After three exciting draws (that's like two rocks at the same time) the reigning champion showed his prowess and threw a scissor to Conan's paper. It was a close call, however. Mr. Krueger best keep in shape, lest Mr. O'Brian decide to enter the competition next year!

Thanks to Late Night with Conan O'Brian for the entertaining interview. Thanks to the World RPS Society for reminding me that it's a crazy, mixed-up world we live in. And thanks to CNN for the article which I blatantly plagiarized for this post.

Funny AND Educational - It's FARK!

I have just discovered Fark.com. I know it is nothing new. I have seen references to it all over, including WWdN and A Small Victory, but it took Mikey's rants and raves over the humor found there to make me actually check it out. I'm sorry I waited so long! Funny news stories are found here in abundance and best of all, everyone seems to realize how STUPID everything is. Hee hee.

Sign of the End #273

In passing by MTV to get to something worth watching the other day, we noticed that they were playing...what's that?...a...gasp...MUSIC VIDEO!!! Once would have been just a strange occurance, but this has been happening consistantely for a week. Something is wrong with the universe as I have come to know it!

PS - an even bigger, more ironic sign is this recent article about MTV. It seems that they are unhappy with the likes of American Idol and the canned musical celebrities they are producing. Says top MTV boss, Brent Hansen, "These programs make good TV but from a musical point of view, they do not have any value".

Um...Pot? Meet kettle!

Thanks to Fark for the link

Too Early!!!

My loverly neighbors (and I mean that sincerely, they are very nice people with cute pets) have already put their christmas lights up! I went out last night to chech the mail for a new DVD only to find that the house next door was all aglow. And they aren't the only ones. I saw those icicle lights on a house down the block one way and some red lights in the other direction. It is just too darn early if you ask me. Thanksgiving isn't even here yet. Poor turkey.

Making the House a Home

Mikey and I spent the day cleaning and organizing. It took some intense work to overcome the neglect that has been heaped on our house since I started working full time, especially the garden. Luckily, we seem to have been forgiven. It is actually looking pretty nice in here. And I was amazed to find that the tomatoes were still flowering and producing new green tomatoes. It's kinda funny that my garden does best when I leave it alone. Anyway, it was a productive, wonderful day. I even got to play some Sims! :)

WHERE is the axis of evil??

Some interesting news items collected into a scary, but humerous blog calling itself the "Scorecard of Evil". These are scary times we live in. But, like I told a parent the other day, when things get too ugly in the present, I just look around my room and see the future. And hope and pray that I am doing something that will make that future a better place.

Odds and Ends

~ I spent most of the day in my jammies watching the commentary to Tarantino's "Jackie Brown" (newly added to my wish list), lounging about on the couch, and sewing. At about 3 o'clock we took a walk that energized me just enough to get my living room returned to some vague image of cleanliness before I settled in for yet another movie ("Darkness Falls" this time). It was a good start to my vacation.

~ "Darkness Falls" is one of the WORST horror film I have ever seen. I go into horror films with my ideas of reality set aside, but this one had too many moments of "yeah, right!" and "what the heck are they DOING?" for my taste. I wouldn't recommend it.

~ When you see a guy walking a dog, holding the leash in one hand and an IV bag of fluids in the other, you can't help but think that he must be one of the good ones.

~ My cats shed too darn much.

oneword

He crept into my heart like a thief in the night, climbing in through a back window left open just a crack. Despite the locks and the guard dogs, he found a wa(y in.)

This one is for my darling Mikey, who not only proved the existence of miracles and fate to me, but continues to amaze me every day with the depth of his love. Nothing I say, nothing I do and nothing I fail to do can drive him away. If only everyone could be so lucky!

goals and heroes

If I could write like this man, I would be a happy person. Not that I'm not a happy person...well, you know what I mean. Wil's ability to capture real life moments and make them totally real is amazing. I am lime with envy.

The List

or as my mom always said "La Lista".

I have a week off. This means I have a week during which I can give my house some of the TLC it has been missing since the school year started. There's lots to do...

~ mow/wack both yards
~ prune rose, grape and any other plants needing attention
~ pull dead plants in garden area
~ deep clean living room, kitchen, bath 1, bath 2, office, spare room, bedroom, garage
~ finish repairing caulking in master shower
~ replace flap in master toilet
~ break out christmas decorations

I also have some relaxation goals...

~ play guitar
~ watch lots of "Law and Order" and "CSI"
~ sleep
~ call friends and relatives who probably think I have fallen off the face of the earth
~ start holiday shopping
~ play The Sims or some other equally mind-numbing computer game
~ snuggle Mikey

How many of these things can I mark off my list? I can't wait to find out! Ready, Set, GO!!!

PS

super secret update to be made soon. you know where to look! :)

DONE!!!!!

DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONEDONE
DONEDONEDONE
DONEDONE
DONE

Conferences are over. I have survived the first third of this crazier-than-most school year. I am feeling quite proud of myself, if you must know. And I am very happy with my students. Although I am thrilled that I have some much needed time off, I am already looking forward to getting back to work on and with these wonderful young minds.

oneword

I like the word today. It brought an instant metaphor-like comparison to mind. If I were to re-write it, I would actually make it a true metaphor. As usual, the stuff in parenthesis came after the final bell.


They say that only 10% of an iceberg shows as it floats along in the frigid Arctic seas. Much like the emotional aspects of the people I work with every day. I talk with them regu(larly and yet I still know very little about the real person behind the teacher's facade. With most, that 10% is enough. I like them, but I feel very little motivation to throw on the wetsuit and explore the remaining 90% of their personality. However, there are a few of my co-workers who, for some unknown reason, strike a chord with me. Something about them leaves me wishing I knew them better. Wishing that I were among those they call "friend".)

oneword

here we go again...

As she stumbled along in the pouring rain, all she could think about was her son and the cold he was just getting over. If she could only find some shelter and a little hot food it might make (all the difference.)

Personal Quirks

I like to talk just as much as the next parrot, but talking to adults (especially parents of my students) makes me break out into a cold sweat. It is amazing. You could have me walk into a room of 100 kids and I wouldn't be fazed. I would be able to entertain them for quite some time and not panic once. On the other hand, if you ask me to give a presentation to a small group of adults and give me a week to prepare it and make sure I have everything I need, I will STILL freak out about it. I have a nearly unquestioned faith in my ability to communicate with kids and an mind-bending lack of confidence in my ability to share information with adults. I do just fine with it. I can't remember the last time I had a serious problem with a presentation given to adults but that continues to be one of the most nervewracking things I have to do. Contrast that with my willingness to get confused, say the wrong work, er word, or just plain make a mistake in front of kids. As my students like to say, "I don't get it."

1 down...

only 3 more days of conferences to go. If they all go like today's I will be one HAPPY camper! I had understanding, caring parents who showed up, participated, and best of all - didn't threaten to sue me (this actually happened to a co-worker). We set some really good goals for the students and basically shared some great communication. And I am happy to report that I am not particularly concerned about any future conferences either. :)

Onewording Again

What better way to get myself writing again? Check it out yourself at oneword!

I have done nothing but assess my students and what level they are on the good, old A-B-C-D-F scale. I am judging each student as to their ability based on my knowledge of them for the past (2 1/2 months.)

Can you tell what has been on my mind lately? I just keep working for the weekend (and the next week of no school!).

See you next week!!

I may be here tomorrow. I may not. However...if you ration them properly, the posts I made today should last you until next Saturday when I will be able to post to my heart's content for a full week. See how I am always thinking of you, Dear Reader?

Cold feet

No, that has nothing to do with weddings. I have been sitting at my computer for some time wrapped in a towel, having sit down here directly after my shower. Between the bare shoulders and the damp hair I am rapidly losing body heat to the chill of the room. An interesting contrast to the comforting heat of the water itself.

(After 15 minutes of trying to perfect the following sentence, I can no longer remember where it was going. I do, however, really like the imagery.)

Although I usually shower quickly, hating the thought of any unnecessarily wasted water, this time I stood for a momentary eternity, eyes closed, right hand pressed against the cream colored plastic of the shower shell, soaking in the quiet and the calm.

true ramblings

My dad got re-married today. My siblings all went and there was eggplant parmigiana and I assume that he is happy about it but there was no telling from the conversation we had this morning and I am concerned that I have absolutely no emotional connection to this event what-so-ever because I feel like I should care. But I don't think I do. I am not angry about it. I wish them both the best, but I find that this is very much a non-event to me. Or is it just that my complete lack of anger over it is so strange that I am not recognizing my true emotions? Most likely, I am not really processing it at all and when it somehow impacts my life someday in the future it will all come pouring out of me but since I am intensely busy with work right now I am really not too bothered by the effects of this giant brick wall that I have built around my feelings. In fact, I welcome it.

Yahooooooo

The most common search that leads to my site? People searching on Yahoo for "Rambling With Isha". That can ONLY be someone who knows what they are looking for. But why do they keep using Yahoo? We may never know.

Matrix Mania

Everyone is so busy trashing the latest Matrix, that they are all missing out on the fabulous and far-reaching conversations that are so easily launched from it. (Et tu, Amy?) I think there are two things causing so many people to dislike this movie - first, Americans are lazy and want everything to be spelled out for them, and second, people are watching each section as if it is a stand alone episode of a trilogy. I think this was in fact just ONE BIG MOVIE and only makes sense if you think of it as such. Of course the second one feels like the middle of a movie. IT IS! Anyway, for some answers (yes, I agree that it left many questions unanswered or answered so subtly that it might as well have been unanswered) and some thought provoking analysis of the characters, plot, events and symbolism you may want to check out this blog...

www.episode81.blogspot.com

I can't wait for the 3 disk boxed version so that I can watch the movie in its entirety.

Wish List

I have made my yearly wish list. I won't call it a christmas list because it is all-encompassing. Beyond the typical "books, movies, music" wishes, it includes all things I am longing for no matter how unrealistic they are. (ie: a Dodge Dakota) It ended up being 4 pages long. I am a greedy beast.

Report Cards

I have spent the last week working on getting tests and assignments done so that I can give final grades. It is almost funny (after you get past the sadness of it) how suddenly the kids were very concerned about what assignments they hadn't done when I showed them that they were FAILING most subjects. And even after that, they still didn't get the work turned in. Unbelievable. I am going to have some very unhappy parents on my hands. Not with me, but with their children and their utter lack of interest in all things educational. I don't think I was too "tough" with my grading either. In fact, I have been much more lenient than many other teachers. Ugh. I don't like writing "F" on those report cards.

Blah-di-blah

I don't really have anything to say, I just miss posting here. My busy teaching schedule doesn't leave much time or energy for the chronicalling of my thoughts. Who am I kidding? It doesn't leave much time for thoughts at all. Here are a couple random ramblings...

* Saw The Matrix: Revolutions. Liked it. Recommend it to anyone who is a Matrix fan. Don't recommend it to anyone who isn't. If you didn't watch, follow and enjoy the first one, you won't have a clue what is going on. However, I was quite enthralled. Have to admit that I have NO IDEA what happened at the end, but that just means that Mikey and I will have good conversations trying to figure it out.

* In the movies, people are always ready to die to save someone they love. But how often does that really pan out? How often in real life do people REALLY sacrifice themselves for a loved one who is in danger? Would I? I guess it would depend on which person and the actual situation. I know that I would do whatever it took to help my Mikey. Or any given child. Beyond that...I am often a coward. I just don't know.

* I have done a surprising amount of reading in the last couple of weeks. I have learned the art of reading while doing other things. Brushing my teeth, eating my breakfast, waiting for webpages to load...all improved with the addition of a book in one hand.

* I had othert things to tsay but my finders are tefusin to folleo the fjumbled dierections that my brian is sending. Dimt for sleep. Goodnignth

The gift of giving

There are some tasks that are just too daunting to even think about. For example, I need to find a wedding gift for my dad and the woman he is marrying. It needs to be something that conveys my hope that things will work out for them, but I am still very angry over what they did and how. I am as happy for them as I can be, considering how wrong I think they were. It needs to be something meaningful, because if it isn't my dad will be upset, but it needs to be a meaning that I can stand by. Ugh.

A much more interesting and entertaining task will be finding my sister-in-law a birthday present. Whoo-hoo!

Tool Time

Remember a couple of weeks back when I got that home repair bug? I tore up the caulking in our master bath shower because of how disgusting it was getting. Of course, I haven't gotten around to putting in the new stuff yet, so we have been reduced to using the TINY little guest shower. Poor Mikey has to duck just to get his hair wet. And with all the paperwork I have to do for the end of the trimester, it's not looking like I am going to be finishing this project any time soon. One more thing on the Turkey Break to-do list.

Revolutions

For those of you who have been living under boulders in the backs of large caves somewhere in a yet to be discovered mountain range, The Matrix: Revolutions is now in theaters. Unfortunately, my job prevented me from going to the first showing on the first day (I guess I am not a real die-hard fan, otherwise I would have gotten a sub that day!) but we are going to go this morning. I am a little worried because the reviews have been lousy. However, I really enjoyed the second one for what it was - the middle of a really long story - and I have hope that I will like this one too. No, I will NOT be going dressed as my favorite Matrix character, but that doesn't mean I won't be wishing I was Carrie-Ann Moss through the whole darn movie.

And the countdown begins...

There are currently 5 whole days and 3 half days with the students before Turkey Break. This has got to be one of the best loved breaks in the whole school year, because it comes after 2-3 weeks of testing, grading, and conferencing. The end of the trimester is always the worst. You NEED a week afterwards just to recuperate! I think I am doing well, though. I have been giving my assessments for some time now and they are almost all graded. We have a couple of little things to do next week and then I am ready to fill in report cards. I have all my conferences on Tues, Weds, and Thurs so that I don't have to dress up on Friday. There is no school Friday and I am planning to use that day to get caught up on all my organizing and filing so that I can start fresh after the break. I am much better off than many of the more experienced teachers as far as how frantic I am feeling and I am just keeping my fingers crossed that conferences will go smoothly. Wish me luck!

Amen

I have recently finished reading "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

A couple of my favorite lines:

"No damn cat, and no damn cradle."

"Someday, someday, this crazy world will have to end,
And our God will take things back that He to us did lend."

I was a little embarrased to admit that I had no idea what this book was really trying to say, until I realized that I had gotten quite a bit out of it anyway. It is not a happy book, however. At least not in the way I interpretted it.

I heart my class

My kids came in this morning ready to learn. They worked hard all morning and we got tons of stuff done. As I mentioned before, I am pretty sure that they were all abducted and replaced with alien children. Kind of like the scandehoovian troll changling baby stories. However, unlike those stuck with troll babies, I am in no hurry to change things back. I like my changlings. I think I will keep them.

Brrr

Winter has hit Temecula. I know this because my hands are cold. They will remain cold for the next 5 months no matter what I do. Nothing works. I can put on a bajillion sweaters, take boiling hot showers, snuggle under blankets made from the warmest sheep, or any combination of the three, but my hands will remain as ice blocks.

The really awful thing about this is that buildings in Temecula are NOT designed for this season. The air vents are approximately 9 feet in the air so that any warm air coming out of them remains in the far reaches of my much sought after high ceilings. The beautiful fireplace burns large quantities of fuel, sending every bit of energy straight up the chimney. At least in Northern Minnesota, I could sit on the heated floors, in front of the very effective fireplace and reach some level of warmth. Here, I just stay cold until summer returns with its 100+ degree temperatures. Ugh.

Wait. It gets worse. This afternoon I decided that it was silly for me to freeze my hiney off just to save a little money when I am busting my hiney to earn said money. I marched resolutely over to the thermostat, flipped it on and waited for the whirrrrr of the heater that would bring Mikey thundering into the living room demanding to know what I was thinking (hehe...not really, but that was a fun, descriptive sentence, wasn't it?). Unfortunately, neither of these things happened. After poking and prodding with the same results as a couple of irate monkeys, we learned that the air conditioner was working just fine, but the heat was completely non-responsive. Mikey has been commissioned to call SOMEONE, ANYONE, tomorrow to get that fixed ASAP.

I know. My life is a Shakespearean tragedy. Feel free to send me sympathy, heater repair money and/or long underwear.

PS - Yes, I know that I am a pathetic excuse for a Northern Minnesotan. Why do you think I live in CALIFORNIA??
PPS - Yes, this is meant to be a humorous post. No, Dad, I don't really need heater repair money. Although I would most definitely use the long underwear.

A plague upon the Earth

I turned on my computer this evening for the first time since...probably last weekend. I had nearly 1000 emails waiting. 1 from my husband, 1 from my brother and 998 from strangers trying to sell me pain pills, penile enlargements (that ought to get me some hits) and insurance scams.

News

My dad called this morning to tell me that he is marrying the woman he left my mother for. And I was happy for them.

Life is very odd.

A bug in a rug

PS - After the halloween party yesterday, I came home, fell asleep by 9:00, slept until 8:30 this morning and didn't get out of bed until nearly 3:00. I am still in my pajamas and the only thing that is convincing me to change that is the thought of dinner out. Mikey served me muffins for breakfast and Ramen Noodle soup for lunch. We watched 2 movies and lots of trashy television while snuggled up with the kitties and the magazines that came in the mail.

And I didn't feel guilty about a minute of it.

Happy Halloween

We had a party in my room yesterday. We had a full day of fun activities and relaxing with each other. It was nice to be able to have fun with the kids. It got awfully loud at times, but repeating the mantra "They're not being bad. They're having fun." helped me keep things into perspective. And they WERE having fun. It was good to see.

Next week, we heading into the end of the trimester, which means lots of tests. I am doing what I can to relieve the stress and anxiety of that for the kids, but it is never an easy time. I just keep reminding myself that I am earning a week long vacation by getting all the grades totalled, report cards filled out and conferences completed. I will enjoy EVERY second of that vacation, too.

It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees...

putting up reindeer, and singing songs of Joy and Peace. ~Joni Mitchell

Now that Halloween has come and gone it seems that it is suddenly the Christmas season. Oh, not in an overt way, just in that subtle, here's-a-few-extra-flyers-in-the-mail, lots-of-sweater-commercials-on-TV, don't-forget-to-get-excited-about-this-new-toy way. It's disturbing.

Of course, it also means that Hamumu sales will be up for the next two months. November and December are our best months by far and with the recent Supreme release they will be even better than usual. Hooray for the holiday rush.

Mikey has made a juicy list of things he would be interested in getting. His lists can be juicier than some because he is gearing up for a birthday as well as Christmas. It's fun to watch. He's like a big kid. I haven't made a list. I am not good at gift lists. I usually buy things that catch my eye in the store at any given time. Out of sight, out of mind. I guess I can wander through some online catalogs and put together a list of sorts. I put it off because I feel greedy and guilty when I ask for things. I much prefer giving gifts to getting them.

Boys and their games

Mikey is currently in training for a Tony Hawk 4 (skateboarding game, for those of you who aren't in the know) competition at the local game store. It's so cute! I will get to go cheer him on this Saturday when he kicks the butts of all the little punk pre-teens who think they're all that and a bucket of wings! I will have to put together a good cheerleading outfit! :)

Walking on Sunshine

My class has taken an amazing turn for the better. It's is as though every student had an epiphany over the weekend. Suddenly they all seem to understand what's going on in our class. They are staying on task, turning in their homework, remembering the rules and asking fewer of those rediculous questions that I shouldn't have to answer (Should I put my name on this?). I LIKE room 6, version 2.0. I plan on keeping them around!

Guitar Lessons

Someone ended up at my blog after searching for "Temecula guitar lessons" and I feel compelled to give my fabulous teacher some free advertising...

Robert deGraff, owner of Acoustic Guitar Studio in Temecula (909-506-9732), is WONDERFUL for the adult wanting to learn not just how to play, but what guitar is all about. I pay $85 each month and get a 45 minute lesson once a week. He is teaching me everything from reading notes to creating and playing chords to writing music. I am not just learning how to mimic someone in playing the guitar. I am learning everything you need to know to play and write any music I want. (someday!) He is a kind, understanding teacher who really cares about music and really wants playing the guitar to be a pleasant, wonderful experience. I can't recommend him highly enough!

C'mon, babe, why don't we paint the town...

...and all that Jazz!

We just watched Chicago. I loved it. I always like musicals. They leave me wanting to sing and dance my way through the day. Ordinary things like doing the dishes and shooting your husband seem so much more interesting when you do them to a beat! They also leave me feeling sad that I can't sing and dance the way the shiny people on the tv screen can. Ah, well.

Nesting

Now that we have our new couch, I am rearranging everything in the whole house. The old couch goes into the spare room (I come from the land of Spare Oom) and turns it back into the game room it was originally supposed to be. The very 80's day bed is either going to a relative's or hitting the curb. The kitchen is being reorganized with the new shelves (still uncomplete thanks to IKEA and their FABULOUS ordering system) and the bedroom lost its Back Alley Charm when I moved the kitty litter to the game room. Things have been all moved around and each time I move into a new room it feels like I am staying at a hotel or breaking in a new house. Without all the hassle of doing either. :)

Another Brick in the Wall

It's interesting how some people have no idea of how hurtful their words may be. I had an experience related to work that illustrated that rather strongly the other day. The whole thing left me feeling very inadequate, disheartened and betrayed. It did give me a new outlook on my situation and led to a very nice day with my class. Almost as though these kids, who originally seemed like part of the problem, became some of my strongest supporters. And they have no idea. Anyway, I am hoping that I can keep this new outlook going strong, because it is much more acceptable to me than sobbing my heart out at the end of the day. We'll see.

I apologize for the vagueness. Too many unknown readers here. The rest of you know where to look.

More Signs

These ones are of the picket variety.

The grocery store workers union is striking against Von's. In retaliation (or support, depending on who's side you are on, I guess) Albertson's and Ralph's workers are locked out. There are lots of people handing out fliers and standing on street corners. Luckily, Mikey and I did a mega shopping trip a couple of days ago. I have no desire to cross that line - first because I support them and second, because I have heard that they are being very aggressive. I don't support that, but I still have no desire to deal with it.

The Stater Bro's isn't striking or locking out employees, because they have a "sweetheart contract" which apparently means that they will reap the benefits of the strike without any of the risks. Doesn't seem fair to me. Not only are their employees still able to earn wages, but the store is raking in the dough because no one wants to cross the picket lines at the other place.

I wonder where I can go to avoid this whole thing all together. Are there any stores that have a different union or are not connected for some other reason? I will have to look that up before our next shopping trip.

Oh! Interesting side note...one of my students has a parent who is picketing and she asked me for poster board the other day so she could make a sign to carry that night.

Ups and Downs

It's funny how things balance out. Sometimes I am thrilled with my class and my teaching and the challenges they both offer to me. This usually happens shortly after days that make me wonder whether I really want to spend the next 40 years of my life in this field. It all balances out in the end.

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make" ~ John Lennon

Faith

I have recently come to the realization that I am a person of faith. I believe that there is some greater purpose to life than just living, breeding and dying. Academically, it makes no sense, but I believe it anyway.

This seems like something I should have already known. I mean, I talk about fate and feeling as though things are happening for a reason all the time. I have lived my entire adult life with the understanding that things will work out the way they are supposed to even if it doesn't seem that way at any given moment. I have always had faith.

What I am just now realizing is that it is okay for it to not make sense. I don't have to understand it. I don't have to be able to explain it. I just have to believe in it. And I do.

Now I know.

On Writing

I was so excited to find that I had the ability to write drafts and save them for later publishing. Now I realize that I don't write that way. I spew out my thoughts and emotions in a flood of words and send them off into the great unknown for others to read. I rarely edit, beyond the brief check for misspelled words. If I set something aside to consider it before publishing, I find that my affection for it has cooled when I return, the words turned brittle and dry, like so many autumn leaves. If it isn't good enough to post right away, it never will be good enough for me.

I was this same way when when I wrote poetry in high school. Usually, I could force words to string themselves together in a technically poetic way, but I knew none of it was any good. There was one assignment, however, that touched me. It struck a nerve and with tears streaming down my face, I scribbled out a poem in a matter of minutes. I never read that poem without feeling an echo of that initial emotion and I always marvel that it came from me. Occasionally, I manage to capture that same inspiration when posting here. Those are the days that I look back at most often, amazed that I have written something that even I can respect.

Sympathy vs Empathy

I am being told (see previous post) by the "powers that be"* that I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and just get on with the job that needs to be done. That it's better for me to do my best and have mediocre results than to give up and get no results at all.

Why do I accept this message from a random assortment of paragraphs found in a random assortment of readings but not from the teachers I work with every day? Perhaps because I can accept this advise better from a source that has some authority in my eyes. The teachers in my support circle all feel sorry for me and my situation, but none of them have been through it themselves. I guess I accept the "powers that be" as a source that have (has?) been in my shoes, or at least ones of similar size, color and style. I recognize this advice as being empathic - showing actual understanding - rather than just sympathetic - sharing the resulting emotion - towards my feelings of fear, anger, overwhelmedness, and impotence.

Anyway. All I am trying to say is that I am working on taking their (powers, co-workers, boss) advice. I am working at adjusting my expectations to levels that are possible and accepting my limitations for what they are - a product of my age, inexperience and position right now, not a permanent part of my life. I'm working at it.

*No, I don't actually have any idea who/what/if the "powers that be" are, but I have faith that they know what they are talking about. I'm sure that makes little sense to anyone. I can't explain it. I just know it makes sense to me.

Sign In, Sign Out, Sign On, Sign Off

A new recurring theme...

"We have every option open to us. We can do anything. But we're trained to look for a quick and easy solution that will let us go back to our ordinary lives, and it doesn't work that way. If you want to do something, you're going to have to be dedicated and committed. You have to keep at it, day after day...That's the way things change. You want a magic fix that will enable you to go back to watching television tomorrow? It's not there."
~ Noam Chomsky, interviewed in The Sun, issue 334

"Rather than deny the existence of something he couldn't perceive himself, he acknowledged the authenticity of his uncertainty and carried on, praying in the face of his doubt. After all, Ignatius of Loyola, a soldier who had killed and whored and made a thorough mess of his soul, said you could judge prayer worthwhile simply if you could act more decently, think more clearly afterward. As D.W. once told him, "Son, sometimes it's enough just to act less like a shithead." And by that kindly if inelegant standard, Emilio Sandoz could believe himself to be a man of God."
~ Mary Doria Russell, The Sparrow

I was talking with my father the other day regarding signs and their meaning and importance. He shared that he gets most of his "messages" (my word, not his) through music, words and phrases popping out while the rest fades into the background. After thinking about it, I realized that mine happen the same way with books as the medium. I will be reading along, feeling thoroughly caught up in a story when suddenly a sentence or paragraph will strike me as particularly vibrant, not because of how it relates to the story, but because of how it relates to my life.

As my father and I discussed, the importance of these signs isn't in their existence, but rather in one's reaction to them. The first step, noticing them, is not nearly so important as the second, acting upon them. The signs that go un-noticed remain just that. The signs that go ignored become mistakes, missed opportunities and reason for self-recrimination. Can I learn to act on these signs that I am so often recognizing? Do I want to? Wouldn't it just be easier to return to ignorance and never know what I am missing? Simpler to pretend that my life is the result of fate rather than the result of my reactions and free-will?

Viva la Alberson's

I went to make Mikey pancakes for breakfast this morning only to realize that we had no eggs, no milk and were low on flour and sugar. We scrounged a quick breakfast and headed to the grocery store. We went a little overboard, buying 5 loaves of bread (sale), oj and butter that we really didn't need, and a pile of frozen meals. It was fun. Adding to the feeling of stocking up before a crisis was the constant hum of excitement concerning the upcoming grocery store strike. People were acting like the world as we know it was about to come to an end. We bought our food and headed home just in time for me to finish making the pancakes for lunch instead. Yum.

Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend!

No, I didn't get lost in the IKEA warehouse. I have been working hard this week so that I can once again have a weekend free from school. It's been a good week. Busy, but good.

The class is now separated into individual desks, and we are doing mostly individual work instead of groups. This helps the kids focus and remember that they need to be working without talking.

Anyone who has missing work is on lunch detention for the day. On Wednesday, I had 17 of my 23 students in. Yesterday, it was 15. Someday, I will once again be able to leave my room and eat lunch with grownups, but for now I am just happy to see work getting turned in. :) I finally found something that has some meaning to the students.

I am still having the same big behavior issues - complete lack of organization in some, complete lack of respect for other - but we are working on those things and it can only get better. Now, please excuse me. I have to get everything done today so that I can head back down to IKEA and buy all those things I looked at last weekend!

Be Unboring!

We're heading south for lunch with the parents-in-law. It should be fun because we are going to re-visit the place that we went to for our "groom's lunch". It has changed from a Chinese place to a Korean place and we are wondering if it is under new ownership or just a bold new look. I am hoping for the latter, as we had developed a bit of a relationship with the previous owner. My purse was a wedding present from her (given at said "groom's lunch") complete with a packet of lucky money (still unopened).

After lunch we are heading further south to stop at IKEA and mayhap get some cheap furniture. My couch is even older than the coffee table my father and step-mother couldn't bear to part with! :) I am especially excited at the thought of real kitchen shelves rather than the jokes we put up ourselves.

Memories

The sound of loud, excited teenaged voices nudged me from my sleep at approximately 6:00 am this morning. Instead of irritating me, it brought back memories of early morning awakenings in my childhood. All the fun trips start at the crack of dawn: the visits to Grandma and Grandpa's, the airport runs to Mexico and Hawaii, the cross-country treks to New Jersey and the Atlantic Ocean. There is something about waking up before the sun, stumbling through your morning routine and collapsing into the backseat of the old stationwagon that signifies the start of something wondersful. As I laid awake, I remembered and I wished those boys the best weekend they could have. Someday, they will be wakened by rowdy teenagers and I hope they remember too.

Overworked and overtired

I was at school until 9 pm tonight. I had to get everything done that I would have done on Sunday because I am NOT going to do any work for the next two days. I am just too tired and too overwhelmed. I have done nothing but eat, sleep and breath work for the last month and a half and it's just too much. I cried when I got home today. I was just too tired to do anything else. The frustration and stress have reached their breaking points.

Despite being at work for nearly 14 hours today I still have a pile of thing that need to be done. I have several assignments that need grading and recording. I have planning that could be done. I have assessments to give about half of my students as well as writing conferences that need to be had. I need to do observations and I need to look at the end of trimester tests that will be happening MUCH too soon. To top it all off...I have a book to read for staff development. All this, and no time to do it in. It is all I can do to keep things running in the classroom all day long and at the end of each day my To Do pile is taller and taller.

All I can do is my best, but that just isn't good enough these days.

Progress Reports

I like writing the ones for the students who have only been in my class for a week. Those ones are easy!

I don't like writing the ones that say a student is falling behind in any particular subject. I don't like making people sad.

I have a lot of hard progress reports to write this mid-trimester.

Against all Odds

Sometimes it feels like I have been set up for failure. I am a brand new teacher with limited knowledge of the standards and pacing of the year, I have next to nothing in the way of supplies, I am teaching 2 full curriculums (curriculi?), and I have a class full of special needs (behavioral, academic, emotional, you name it). No one can be expected to teach in this kind of situation. Yet, here I am.

You know what, though?

I am NOT going to let them force me to fail. I am NOT going to let anyone - district, teacher, student, self - stand between my class and success. These students WILL leave my class better than they came into it, and I WILL reach the end of the year knowing that I have become a better teacher.

(Cue inspirational training montage complete with motivational song...something along the lines of "Eye of the Tiger"...I like that one)

Melancholy

Or Meloncholy, as I first spelled it. Hee hee. Sounds like a dog that grows on a vine. Or a melon with a fur coat.

Anyway, it is obvious from reading my post from this evening that I should not be blogging now. I should be curled up with someone cute and focusing on the positives in my life. Too much introspection is not good for me. Goodnight.

They only told me about the "teen" years

Everyone always talks about how horrible the teenaged years are and how straining it is on the child/parent relationship. Even when I was deep in the black pit of teenagerdom I knew that it was a phase that everyone goes through. I knew that things would go back to normal shortly after I graduated from high school. And they did.

Now I am finding that there is a strain on my relationships with my parents again. I think it is largely related to my physical distance from them. I can no longer just hang out with them. Our interactions are conducted via phone line in 60 minute bursts. When I am talking to them there is a constant need for something interesting to say. No down time, no watching a movie together, no working side by side in the garden for hours with only a few sentences exchanged. I am starting to feel like my parents (especially the ones who don't read this blog) no longer know who I am. My family members are becoming strangers to me and despite my best efforts, I can't seem to stop it.

So, I am wondering, is this normal? Is this something that happens to kids after they move out and start their own grownup lives? Is this how things are? Because I don't like it. It sucks. (Sorry, K.)

Signs, signs, everywhere the signs...

I watched Bruce Almighty at the second run theatre with my honey yesterday. I liked it. Especially the overall message. Be the miracle. Don't sit around with your eyes squinched shut and your hands folded tightly, waiting for God to answer your prayers. Get out there and make things happen. Help to those who help themselves and all that jazz. Bruce spends much of the movie demanding that God send him a sign and then ignoring such blantant ones as a glowing truckful of "Caution" and "Stop" signs warning him of trouble ahead.

Then, this evening, we watched Wide Awake. This is the first movie directed by the guy who did Sixth Sense and Unbreakable (and yes, Signs). A kid, who has recently lost his grandfather, spends his 5th grade year searching for God. He just wants to make sure that there is someone up there taking care of his grandpa. Throughout the whole movie, there are odd moments that you later realize are more important than they seemed.

I had no idea that either of these movies were quite like they turned out to be. I can't help but wonder if the reoccuring theme of missed signs is a sign of some kind. Is there something I have been asking for? Have I been ignoring the answer? I wouldn't be surprised. With the kind of busy I am these days there are lots of things I am forgetting and ignoring and just plain not even seeing. I will have to ponder this. At this point it would be highly embarassing to miss some kind of sign.

It's just a game!

I rarely play video games. Not because I don't enjoy them. I do. I am all for games that require me to sit on my butt and eat sour cream and onion chips. Except for one thing. Well actually two things that combine to make one big reason why I shouldn't play. First, I am not very good at them. I can't remember which buttons mean what or what little tricks you use to beat that one guy. I always forget to watch my life meter. Or my ammo meter. Or both. Ugh. Second, I HATE to lose. Really. It truly ticks me off to fail at a mission or die halfway through a level. It makes me frustrated and angry and cranky. Since I'm not very good at any game, I lose a lot. This means I can play for about 10 minutes before I need to walk away or risk throwing a controller.

Normally, this isn't really a problem. I don't actually find time for games very often and when I do I stick with the Sims and Top Shop, two games that take a LONG time to lose, allowing me to enjoy myself for awhile. It's all good. Except that my hubby makes video games. Well, computer games, but same difference, right? And he doesn't make easy, luck will get you through, win if you have a basic understanding of the rules and 1/2 your braincells in working order kind of games. His games are the kind that require you to pay attention to a monster's characteristics and think ahead and pick up the right weapon at the right time. I can do exactly NONE of these things. So he makes these games and I try to play them because I know he likes to see me play and then I get frustrated when I die and he feels bad and I feel bad and it's all around a bad situation.

There is a lesson in this, I know there is.

International House of Sugar

We went to IHOP for breakfast because we wanted pancakes but didn't want to mess up the kitchen we just rescued from being condemned as a hazardous waste dump. And because we could.

I had a HUGE burrito stuffed with hashbrowns, scrambled egg, onion, salsa and cheese. With 2 pancakes (complete with boysenberry syrup!) on the side. I ate about 1/3 of it. Now I have breakfast for the next two days in my fridge!

Mikey had cinnamon rolls made into french toast. Sugary bread, with crystalized sugar on top, dipped in egg and fried. Then he slathered it with butter and syrup. He is currently suffering from IOD (IHOP Onset Diabetes). No leftovers for him.

Now we are off to run errands and find fun things to do on our "No Work" day. If I can get him away from the PS2, that is.

The Inner Mind

It seems that I must be reaching some kind of balance in this new, hectic schedule. Last night I had a variation of my betrayal dream, culminating in the usual hysterical sobbing (in the dream) and free flowing tears (in real life). The immediacy of my classroom stresses is giving way to my life's underlying issues. I honestly don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that I have no fondness for the uncontrolled feeling of waking up crying.

random thoughts while checking papers

-do teachers in other countries (especially the ones that still allow physical punishments) have to deal with kids just not caring about their homework? or is it a product of a democratic, understanding, touchy-feely classroom environment? (I don't usually feel this way...only when I am seeing that HALF of my class just decided not to do parts of their homework.)

-have you ever stopped to think that primitive man did everyday things like tying their shoelaces?

And they say we haven't made any progress...

TEN TIPS ON GETTING MORE EFFICIENCY OUT OF WOMEN EMPLOYEES

From the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine

1.) Pick young, married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2.) When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3.) General experience indicates that "husky" girls- those who are just a little on the heavy side- are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4.) Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination- one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5.) Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but they lack initiative in finding work themselves. This one just KILLS me. I mean, REALLY.

6.) Whenever possible, let the female employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

7.) Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make for some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

8.) Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman- it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

9.) Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

10.) Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

Borrowed from Da Goddess

Isha

Still practicing. Still improving. Still loving it. :)

At the end of the session last night my teacher asked me if I was still enjoying my guitar lessons. I think that is a sign of a good teacher. At least a sign of the right teacher for me! I answered with an enthusiastic YES!

Bonding

One of the nice things about the inservice yesterday was the lunch. We were given 75 minutes for our break and enjoyed a leisurely meal and a wonderful conversation. The best thing about my 4th grade team is how quickly they have included me in their group. They are not just teammates, they are friends and they have allowed me to become a part of that so quickly. And in a way that makes me feel perfectly comfortable. Not just in a shallow, surface way.

Inservice

I will NEVER, EVER, EVER attempt to teach a room full of teachers ANYTHING. I think I have said this before, but it's worth saying again. Teachers are some of the most inattentive, disrespectful people when it comes to presentations. We talk, laugh, joke, correct papers, doodle, and daydream as others try to pass on information. However, when OUR students do the same, we get frustrated and ask ourselves "what is wrong with those kids?". We have to sit through inservices a couple of times a year. Kids have to attend school every single day. I have a feeling I will be looking at them differently tomorrow.

Hee Hee

To those who end up here looking for cheats for Mikey's games...you ain't gettin' 'em from me! I don't like cheaters! Of course, you could always look around on the forum or in the FAQs. But I still don't recommend it. Cheaters never win. Okay, they do, but it just isn't as satisfying. You will always know that someone out there beat it the RIGHT way.

Hate.

I. Hate. That. Motorcycle.

Grr.

A compliment?

It throws me to hear too many compliments in one day. It makes me start to wonder why. Today I had several people compliment me on my outfit. This confused and concerned me, especially since I didn't think I was wearing anything special. Eventually, I got over it and simply accepted the fact that I looked damn fine today. What can I say? Some days you got it.

Deep thoughts

Um. I was having them on my way home tonight. But now I can't for the life of me remember what they were. Oh well.

Every time I write the word "remember" and I am reminded of the time in elementary school that I forgot my gym shoes. In their infinite wisdom, my gym teachers decided to make us write sentences when this happened. Because that is a good way to teach responsibility. (Why, YES, that WAS sarcasm.) I had to write "I will remember my gym shoes." for an hour. Only I wrote "I will rember my gym shoes." instead. When I turned the sentences in, the teacher pointed out my mistake and I have spelled that word correctly from them on. And I ALWAYS think of that moment when I do. Weird.

AH! I remember what I was thinking.

It is interesting how quickly a situation that is overwhelming, impossible or unbearable becomes just the opposite. As humans, we are amazingly adaptable. After 4 short weeks, I have become so accustomed to my schedule that it seems perfectly normal to me. I have adapted to spending 30 minutes getting to school rather than 5. I have learned to accept this lifestyle that is so different from the one I was living this summer. The fact that I am enjoying just about every part of this lifestyle makes it much easier, but I know that humans can just as easily become accustomed to negative things. Through-out history, there are many instances of people letting horrifying and terrible things happen because they got used to it. I am glad that I am enjoying the chaos and franticness that is my life currently. But I will not forget that complacency is not always a good thing. I will continue to walk with my eyes open and my mind active.

That's that. Random Ramblings from a Biking Isha.

CDs, CDs and more CDs

I spent all day yesterday helping Mikey print, cut, fold, assemble, package, address and mail orders. In the first two days of Supreme being out we received close to 50 orders. We had to make an emergency run to Staples for more paper, mailers, cds and toner. We have a whole box full of orders waiting to go out first thing Monday morning.

Mikey is LOVING this.

Supreme, with Cheese!

Hooray! After what seems like a trillion years of development and programming and testing and de-bugging I am proud to announce the release of the lastest Hamumu Software title.

Dr. Lunatic: Supreme with Cheese

is now piping hot and waiting for you to come pick it up. In fact, we would be willing to deliver it. Check out the website for more information.

Dad Blamed Water Bottle

On my way home from work this evening, my water bottle came open. The result was a pile of very wet papers. Fortunately, they will be dry by the time I am allowed to look at them (tomorrow is my hubby-enforced day off). It isn't really a great tragedy, but coupled with my 12 hour day of marathon planning, it was quite frustrating.

I learned today that I am, indeed, an extrovert and I do, indeed, get my energy from inter-personal interactions. A whole day of paperwork combined with 4 hours of overtime spent doing more paperwork is just too much for my poor brain to handle. I did get lots done today, though. :)

Perks

For every job to do, there is a boss to make sure you do it right. Quite often, as in the case of Dilbert, that boss is a moron who can't find his own ears with a mirror and a magnifying glass. When you are stuck in this situation there isn't much to do. You just keep on keeping on and hope that they don't mess anything up too badly. This situation develops when the person in charge is so out of touch with the job being done that they fail to realize or understand the various constraints on an employee's time, materials or ability. Teaching is one of those jobs that has trained, experienced people being managed and monitored by well-meaning individuals who don't have a CLUE what teachers face in today's classroom. It seems that every day we are being micro-managed and second-guessed more often.

It all sounds pretty dreary doesn't it? I say all this only to emphasize my next statement.
My principal is one of the most understanding, caring, supportive people I know.

I met with him today, feeling frustrated and upset about certain aspects of having a combo class. One of the biggest challenges with my class is providing equal and appropriate instruction to each grade level. Translated, that means teaching 2 level's worth of work in 1 day's worth of time. It is difficult, to say the least.

My principal came in, listened to my concerns, presented me with ideas and told me exactly how he was going to help me. After 35 minutes or so I felt way more comfortable with the combo and infinitely more sure of my own ability to cope with the challenges. Support. Encouragement. Help. Time. All the things I was in such desperate need of were provided with understanding and care.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I couldn't possibly say thank you often enough.

Signs of Stress

You know you are under stress when handfuls of hair are falling out each time you shower.

Isha and Me

I practiced this morning AND this evening. It is truly amazing the progress I hear just in ONE practice session. Especially when I compare it to the weeks when I don't practice at all. You would think that would be enough of a motivator. But no. I still have to force myself to practice like a stubborn, sullen little child. Silly, really.

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

I hate it when my students are bad, because I hate having to be mean. Not so much mean, as tough. I don't like being unyielding, but that is exactly what my students are requiring of me lately. It's hard. I would much rather be all friendly and happy. You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

There's a Place Where I Can Go...

Despite the never ending work and the various pressures and stressors that are located there, my classroom is my favorite place to be. I love going there on the weekends. It is actually relaxing to me to just sit in my room, with some music playing (Nora Jones and Rage Against the Machine today), correcting papers or planning the next week. I like looking around and making sure that everything is in order before I leave. I like entering in the morning and finding everything just the way I left it. I like knowing that my room is a place that is safe, clean, and encouraging to my students. There's no where I would rather spend my working hours than...In My Room.

Back to Work

I have been working diligently on my updated, super organized new schedule for the class. Hopefully, this will allow me to get all the things done that need to be done. There is SO MUCH to remember!

After trying not to think about my behavior management problems all day yesterday I had NON-STOP dreams about my class and not being able to control it. I would wake up from one of these nightmares, reassure myself that it really isn't anywhere near that bad, and go right back into another nightmare. Obviously, I am reincarnated Yiddish grandmother! I'm only happy when I am worrying about something.

Now I am off to school. Lots of homework packet to correct.