I Believe

As I have mentioned many times before, my dad used to read The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsberg to us every year at Christmas. He worked hard to create and maintain in us a belief in Santa - not as a way to make us behave ourselves, but as a way to encourage us to keep the peace during that one particular season. We might fight like cats and dogs all year long, but during December we go out of our way to show the ones important to us how much they are loved.

Anyway, in the story a little boy is allowed to choose whatever he wants as the First Gift of Christmas. He chooses a bell off of the harness of one of the reindeer, but he loses it on his way home. When it shows up under the tree the next morning he knows that he didn't dream the whole thing, that it really happened. Unfortunately, his parents can't hear the tinkle of the bell - they no longer truly believe in Santa. Over time the bell falls silent for all of his friend, too. The little boy never forgets his magical trip and never loses the ability to hear the bell's tiny sound.

I know I have talked about this story and it's importance to me before. One year Santa left a tiny bell for each of us on the plate covered with cookie crumbs. I still have that bell on a chain and I would wear it each Christmas season. This year I didn't. Perhaps it was how busy the school year had been or perhaps it was a side effect of all that has happened in my family over the last few years. Whatever it was, I thought about the bell a couple of times, but never got it down.

One of the very last things I opened this year was a small box from my dad. Inside was a beautiful, silver bell on a chain. It has tiny etchings and a wonderful chime. I immediately put it on. It hasn't come off for more than the length of a shower since. The old bell was a symbol of my belief in the Christmas spirit. This one is so much more.

Wearing this bell is a statement of belief as well. I believe in Love even when it is tarnished and tired. I believe in my family members, despite (or perhaps because of) their weaknesses and failings. I believe in myself and my ability to accomplish my goal of changing the world. I believe in Peace, no matter how thick and dark the hatred gets all around me. I believe that there is a purpose to each event in my life even though I often have no idea what it may be. When I need a little encouragement - a little belief boost - hold the bell tightly in one hand and think about all these things. I focus on the important things and it always makes me feel better.