To Breed or Not To Breed

*DISCLAIMER*
This post is in now way critical of my parents and any conversations we may have had regarding this subject. My parents not only have the right to wonder about the possibility of grandchildren from my neck of the woods, they also have been very understanding and accepting of our feelings.
*/DISCLAIMER

This is the ultimate question. Except that it usually isn't a question. It is an assumption. People always say "Well, when YOU have kids...". Usually, I let this go, but sometimes it is a situation where I have to declare/admit that we are not planning to have kids. This is inevitably met with "But you are so GOOD with kids! You would make a great mom." Which causes me to remark on my patience levels and how much I like sending my students home at the end of the day and how little I like dealing with temper tantrums, vomit, and diaper bags. Even as I say this I know what is coming next. The one sentence that every parent uses. "Well, it's different when their your own." I can usually manage to finish out the script politely saying, "I'm sure it is. But I would rather not take that chance with a child's life."

I have played this scene in so many places with so many people that I can do it in my sleep. Usually, these other cast members will grudgingly allow that we have the right to make this decision. Sometimes, it ends with "You're still young. I bet you change your mind." which always sets me on the defensive, although I try to stay relaxed about it.

People don't seem to recognize that our decision to be childless, much like our decision to eat vegetarian*, is our own. It isn't a whim or a lark or a momentary insanity. It is a choice that we spent much time talking and thinking about as we design our lives in the way that suits us best. We are adults, dammit. And we are both more thoughtful and more mature than many people our age. So give us a little credit!

*Hmm...having written this post, I now suspect that our decision to be veggie (which has been difficult for some people to accept) is actually what I am talking about. But I have no desire to rewrite this whole thing. So take it as you will.