The Chore Game or No More Nagging!

I have mentioned this before, but I don't know if I actually described what it was really all about. Since I have to type up the rules for my stepmother anyway, I figured I would write it up here too.

The Idea
Mikey and I are very different when it comes to keeping house. We both like things relatively clean, but he can ignore a certain amount of clutter while I can't relax unless things are neat and tidy. Neither of us is good at putting things away when we are done with them. Soon after we started keeping house together we fell into a housekeeping pattern. I would do chores because I wanted things clean and I wanted them clean NOW. Mikey would do things as he had the time and the inclination, often showing up to help just as I was finishing a job. Needless to say, this didn't make for a happy house. He felt guilty and nagged. I felt overworked and underappreciated. Something had to be done.

When you put a game designer and an elementary teacher, both of whom retain many endearing child-like (not childISH, sheesh!) qualities, together solutions to problems tend to take the form of games. We soon came up with a game that provided motivation and rewards for getting jobs done.

The Game
First, list all the chores that need to get done around the house. We broke ours down into three catagories: daily, weekly and monthly. Any chores that are done on a less than monthly basis are dealt with on an individual basis (see below for details). Our chores include the following...

Daily - dishes, kitchen, kitty litter, making the bed, and watering the garden.
Weekly - laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, yardwork and paying bills.
Monthly - flip mattress, wash cars, clean garage and clean fridge.

You should, of course, adapt your list to include anything that needs to get done, especially things that no one likes to do.

Then, go over your household budget. Look at how much money you are spending on "fun" things like movies, meals out, games, etc. In the future these things will only be allowed if they are paid for out of someone's "allowance". The money that used to be spent on entertainment type things will now be used to pay for having chores done.

Assign each job on your list a value. Be sure to consider the size of the job, how often it needs to be done and whether it is something everyone hates or just something they forget to do. At our house, doing the laundry is something that no one likes doing so it is worth $4.00 a week. Making the bed is easy and not all that important so it is only worth $0.25 a day. Remember that you need to stay within your set budget, so start low. You can always increase the wage for a job if you find it isn't getting done often enough.

If you so choose, you can also include fines. When we started, we said that dirty dishes left around the house were a $0.25 fine each. Forgetting to floss (something our dentist had recently lectured us about) was $0.50 each time. However, we soon found out that it was easy to "forget" to mark our lapses down and rather than get into policing each other, we let it slide.

You will need a chart to keep track of the chores done each week. We originally made a chart on the computer and printed them up as needed, but now we use a white board. Electrician's tape works well to make the grid. When a chore is done, mark the appropriate square with your initial. To avoid confusion, we decided early on that if you didn't mark a job within 24 hours it bacame a "freebie".

Each Sunday we are paid, in cash, for the previous week. We each have a "personal savings" jar and there is a "household money" jar as well. Any time we want to do something "fun" or get a treat for ourselves we have to pay for it out of our personal savings. Video games, non-work related clothing, books, dinner at Sizzler - all paid with allowance.

The Benefits
Since we started the Chore Game we have not had a single fight about household chores getting done. Don't get me wrong, I still end up doing more, but it is worth it because I get paid more. Every time I start getting cranky about doing the dishes AGAIN I head over to the Chore Board and add up my earnings for the week. It's amazing how much that helps. And if it isn't worth it for me to do the vacuuming for $4.00, I know that it's not really all that important for it to get done. Rather than getting mad at Mikey for not doing it, I take a cue from him and ignore it. Mikey does way more stuff around the house too, because they are no longer guilt/nag-induced and every time he cleans the kitty litter it gets him a little closer to that new game he's been wanting. Chores are things we CHOOSE to do rather than things we HAVE to do.

Since we can only go on the town when one of us pays it has become something special. Now when we eat out it is usually because one of us wants to treat the other. There are extra warm fuzzies. And who doesn't like warm fuzzies?

Buying treats for ourselves has become less of a problem too. Rather than wishing I could get those new sandals and knowing that Mikey would think it was a waste and feeling resentful, I know that all I have to do is save up my money and get them. Same goes for Mikey and his games. No guilt, no explaining, no problem.

The Problems
Of course, this isn't the perfect solution. (Perfect would be a chore fairy doing everything - very quietly - during the night, right?) The Game only works if you are willing to make it work. There are still some things that don't get done very often around our house. We still end up doing things we would rather not have to do. We have had to adjust the jobs and the wages some to account for changes in our budget or jobs that just weren't getting done (had to DOUBLE the bathroom wages before it was worth it to either of us!). Some weeks everything gets done. Other weeks we get by on the bare minimum. But it all balances out. And we aren't fighting about it. That was the main goal in the first place.

Extra Thoughts
I would suggest re-evaluating things on a monthly basis to make sure that everything is balanced, fair and, of course, affordable. And if money isn't a big motivator for you, you can always use something else. Reward yourself with Remote Control Minutes or candy or vacation time. Find whatever it is that makes it worth the work for you.

As I mentioned before, there are some things around the house that don't need to be done on a monthly basis, but that still need to be done. For example, our windows REALLY needed washing. Yuck. In cases like this, we have two choices. Sometimes we share the job and chalk it down the the joys of homeownership. Other times whoever finally does it is rewarded with a little extra cash.