Seeing my daddy in my dreams used to mean love and warmth and family. It used to leave me feeling joy and togetherness. Now, he appears and I feel anger and betrayal and frustration. I used to have dreams in which we would talk for hours, take in baseball games and enjoy each other's company. Now, in my dreams, we speak harsh words and avoid each other. I wake up sobbing.

Last night, as I slept, my family sat down to dinner together. I watched in impotent rage as my daddy pinched my mother. He spoke words of disregard and contempt. He laughed at my silent anger. I sat at the table, hands in my lap, with tears streaming down my face. My mother and siblings went on eating as though nothing was wrong. I awoke too sad to even cry.