Out and About

Mikey and I spent last night (and the surrounding hours) with his family. A splendid time was had by all. Except maybe his neice, who was suffering from double ear infections and bronchitis. We played games, ate food, and laughed until we cried. It was quite satisfactory.

In other news, we had a shopping spree on Tuesday that leaves me giddy with pleasure at all the goodies and shuddering with shame at my gluttonous greed. Many of my New Year's goals revolve around freeing myself from the need for things. In the meantime, I will enjoy my new digital camera, my pile of new novels, and all my new sewing materials. And I have to admit, I am having a ton of fun with our new plug and play video game. What can I say? The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. During the day, we will prepare by going over our finances and tweaking our budget system, as well as developing our new goals. The evening will be devoted to games and movies. There will be jalepano poppers, mozzarella sticks, and sparkling cider involved. We'll stay up until midnight, but we'll be sound asleep by 12:30. What will YOU be doing when the ball drops?

Unexpected Side Effect

My belly button is no longer the same as it was pre-surgery. It used to be pinched all the way around - looking remarkably like one of those cloth covered buttons. Now, it is pinched on the bottom, but the top has come all undone. It just goes straight from the button part to my stomach. Personally, I think they should warn a girl before they go messing with her belly button.

Vedddy Eeenterestink...

I started re-reading Stephen King's The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon the other night. I remember not liking this story very much the first time I read it and I thought it was time to give it another shot. I read about 15 pages before tossing it to the bedside table with a distrustful glance. Like Joey and The Shining (also a Stephen King book...hmmm...), I was tempted to put it in the freezer for the night. The next morning, I got up, dressed, and made the bed, carefully ignoring the book. Although I eventually picked it up again, I only did so during daylight hours.

Some of you may be thinking, "So what? King's books are supposed to be scary." Well, this is one of only two of his books that inspire actual fear in me. I am a loyal King fan and I have read a very large portion of his publications, but it is not the horror that draws me. Instead it is the people and their interactions with each other that I most enjoy. King is a master of the character study. Sure, I worry for the ka-tets that I meet in each story. They are succeptable to the spooks and goblins that King creates. I am not. I can easily close my eyes and dream sweet dreams just minutes after finishing a horrifying encounter with Randall Flagg because I know he's not real.

In reading The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, however, I find my heart pounding with fight-or-flight adrenaline despite the fact that I couldn't care less about the main character. In fact, I would have to go look up her name. It is the forest - beautiful, dangerous, unnoticing - that makes it hard for me to sleep. Mother Nature, in all her glory, is what inspires fright in this Devoted Reader. The boogeyman might not be real, but lightening strikes, carniverous animals and well-hidden cliffs overlooking rocky fields are.

Now, don't misunderstand me. It isn't that I don't like nature. I am a big fan of everything that is out there - waves crashing on a pebble strewn beach, ribbons of sandstone stacked one on top of the other in the hot desert sun, icy expanses filled with puffin and polar bear. Raised in the the woods of northern Minnesota, forests happen to be one of my favorite things. I love the majestic pines and the twittering birds, the fiddler ferns and the buzzing mosquitoes. Okay - maybe not the mosquitoes so much, but I am not generally afraid of the out-of-doors.

You don't have to be afraid of nature to respect it, though. Just this weekend, people all over the continent of Asia were reminded just how powerful Mother Nature really is. One minute everything is fine, and the next, your country is underwater. There is nothing vindictive or premeditated about it. Despite our attempts at anthropomorphizing her, Mother Nature doesn't care about us, one way or the other. When you get right down to it, that makes it all the more frightening to me, because no matter how nice you are to her, she'll cut you down if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Trisha (I remembered her name after all) goes so far as to clean up the shell of the hard boiled egg that she ate several hours after wandering off the hiking trail. Does that provide her with any kind of leverage when the rains come? Nope. There is no mercy when you are dealing with nature, no sweet talking yourself out of a difficult situation.

I have read books about murderers and aliens, rabid dogs and little girls with telekinetic powers. I have faced zombies and demonic automobiles and giant spiders (always with the spiders!) without missing a beat. You want to scare me? Set me in the middle of a forest with nothing but the mercies of Mother Nature to protect me. I'll be shaking in my boots, because I know there is no such thing. Apparently, so does Stephen King.

PS - The other King book that really scares me is Gerald's Game. But that's another visit to the couch entirely...

Can You Tell?

I spent several hours this afternoon revamping the site. Nothing major, just a little touching up here and there. Any comments or suggestions?

Yesterday was a first in my life. We stayed home and made our own Christmas. We thought ahead of time about how to incorporate the things that we most enjoyed from our childhoods and then just focused on having a good time together. Some things that will be becoming tradition:

~ finding unique, fun ways to replicate a Christmas tree without scaring the kitties or killing an actual tree
this year we used a 12" tree that was made by a student of mine last year

~ watching holiday themed movies, preferably of the comedic genre
our current favorites: Elf and The Hebrew Hammer, we also watched Bad Santa, and although I thought it interesting, I don't know if I will watch it again. Next year, we add The Nightmare Before Christmas and any others we can think of.

~ making Monkey Bread for breakfast
must remember to make the dough the night before next year, also pour extra butter over dough before baking, and be sure to check doneness physically instead of visually

~ forgoing Christmas gifts and exchanging stocking stuffers with hubby instead
somehow, this was more enjoyable. Perhaps because I was able to get lots of little things I knew he would like rather than spending HUGE amounts of money on a game, not knowing if it was the one he wanted most

~ finding gifts for the kids that are somehow environmental or educational rather than just noisy and plastic-y
we adopted animals (donated money for the care and protection of different species) for each of the nieces and nephews this year

An event that I would like to avoid making into a tradition:

~ crippling injuries
Mikey managed to throw out his back putting on a shirt first thing in the morning and spent the rest of the day unable to turn his head or sit up unassisted. Fortunately, I am better enough that I was able to do all the moving for both of us. It was nice to be able to repay him (a fraction of what is owed) for all the help he has given me. He is feeling much better now.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to complete the following steps:
~ find someone you love and give them a HUGE hug,
~ sing along with your favorite carol,
~ do a happy dance at least once today,
~ and act as childlike (as opposed to childISH) as possible.

Peace be with you all.

Such a Spaz

Okay, I have gotten over the freakfest that was yesterday. I decided to call the Mayo guys and talk to them before making an appointment. After all, I was 99.9% sure that I was being a big baby about the whole thing. The doctor listened to what I had to say and told me that it was all part of the normal healing process and that I should relax and enjoy my holidays. So I am.

PS - I got tired of waiting for the steri-strips to fall off, so I gently removed every last one! It felt good.

2 Reasons for Making a Doctor's Appointment

1. One of the poke holes that they made for the laproscopic gadgets is really bothering me. Several days ago, it barely bothered me at all. Now, it aches all the time and has shooting pains when I bend or stretch. It may be nothing, but I don't like the idea of having more, rather than less, pain as time passes. It seems counter-intuitive to me.

2. My incision is healing well and not hurting at all. Most of it is smooth and nearly seamless with much of the scabbing already falling off. However, the very right side has a very small bulge. It may just be extra scar tissue, but given that the spider induced sit-up caused the most pain in this very area, I am a little bit wary.

I am probably being a baby and it will be a waste of time and money, but I would rather be safe than sorry. For this same reason, I am also considering taking my final week of recovery time off school. I was hoping I could go back right after the break, but I would much rather take the time to heal properly than go back early and than have to take more time off later when I mess something up. We'll see. I suspect Mikey is ready for me to get back to work! :)

In an age of selfishness and greed, a generation of "What's in it for me?" kids, I have the pleasure of knowing some of the most giving, selfless kiddos there are. I was shown just how wonderful some people are just yesterday.

"Mrs. A"'s son, "B", is in my class. Her younger son, "C", also attends our school. When she heard that I would be having sugery and unable to do much afterwards, Mrs. A commented that she would bring her boys over to help out if I needed her to. Thinking that it was a wonderful offer, I accepted, fully expecting that it would be forgotten. No! Yesterday, they came over and spent an hour weeding my front flower bed, much improving the front side of my house. As they dug and pulled, we talked and laughed. The boys were cheerful and helpful and darling. "B" was just thrilled to be AT THE TEACHER'S HOUSE, and the most either of them wanted in return was a chance to pet the kitties. There was no asking for anything, although they did hint that they would enjoy playing our Dreamcast.

I told them repeatedly how wonderful it was that they were so willing to help someone who was in need and that I was very proud of them. I also gave them Snapple, candycanes, one of Mikey's games, and the chance to pet-sit a hermit crab for the next week or so. (That last one was really more of a gift for me, though!)

Perhaps I shouldn't have given them so much. After all, it would be a shame to take such selfless kids and make them think that you should get stuff when you do good...but I happen to think that you DO get stuff in return for giving without expectation of getting. It isn't always something tangible, like a Snapple or a hermit crab, but the universe has a way of repaying you for the things you do.

I miss...

...touching my toes.

...sneezing with confidence.

...sexy underwear.

...rolling over in my sleep.

...going to the gym.

...being able to suck in my gut.

...my tight-fitting jeans.

...acting without first judging the amount of discomfort it will cause.

...running - hell, even walking fast.

...getting things from the floor or the top shelf.

...looking at something behind me without turning my whole body.

I can't wait until these things start to return. I am deeply grateful that they WILL be returning. :)

All is Well

I bravely walked into the Vampire Lady's den again this morning. But rather than walking out frustrated and angry, I left happy that I had achieved my goal AND made peace with VL herself. For once, she made me feel as though she really did care about helping me. We found a mutually acceptable solution to the problem at hand and all was made right with the world. At least the part of the world that contains me, a blood draw kit, and the lab.

Whooooot!!

AMY is HOME!!!!

And before Christmas, too! Read all about it here.

Is It Too Late To Quit?

I was supposed to have blood drawn today. It didn't happen. I was unable to jump through all the hoops and wade through all the BS before the 12 o'clock deadline. You see, at noon, the Vampire Lady goes out for her lunch and doesn't return until AFTER the FedEx pickup time. This was all carefully planned so as to make my life as miserable as possible.

I headed over to the VL's den this morning, a little bit angry because I knew she was going to make me do the shipping myself, but resigned to doing it because of how royally she had screwed up the last time. Since she already knew that I was going to be pissy about paying her the extra $10 to ship and handle when I was going to be doing that part myself, she decided to call someone to find out how to deal with it. Hmm. It turns out that she CAN'T give me the blood and tell me to ship it myself. Which makes perfect sense and was the problem I had with the whole thing in the first place. Anyway, she told me that in order for her to ship it for me, I had to have a special bag for her to put it in. Again, makes perfect sense. My only question is if she runs a medical laboratory how can she NOT HAVE THIS KIND OF BAG?????? I left the lab (having been told that I would need to be back by noon) feeling irritated. I called Mikey, vented, and headed over to a FedEx shipping location that he knew of.

So, I got to the Postal Annex only to be told (by a very sympathetic girl, by the way) that they didn't have this kind of bag either and that I would probably have to drive to the other side of town where there is a FedEx hub. I knew where this hub was because of the last time when I had to personally take my blood there and pay $30 to get it to Mayo after the VL screwed up. By this stage, I was frustrated, tired and not a little sore. I again called Mikey, who suggested that I return home and let him help me - something I was only too happy to do, since I was on the verge of tears.

At home, we decide that maybe we should try for a different lab, having absolutely no faith in the current one. I called around and learned two things. One, I am an idiot. And, two, labs don't do this kind of thing. Three calls later, I have been insulted, annoyed, and told that what I am asking is impossible by three different labs. You would think that noone ever had to have blood shipped to the Mayo - only one of the biggest hospitals in the country. No wonder the hotel industry is doing so well there. Apparently ANYONE who has to have blood work sent there travels there to do it. This was my breaking point. After several teary breakdowns and a string of curse-words later, I gave up and went back to Plan A - finding the materials needed to get the VL to ship my blood for me.

Not wanting to make a special trip all the way across town (might not sound like much to you, but traffic here sucks and I feel like crap at this point) only to find that they didn't have what I needed, I decided to call the FedEx hub first. A very clever plan, if I must say so myself, except for one thing - I couldn't find the number ANYWHERE. Not the yellow pages, not the white pages, not the internet, nowhere. I finally ended up calling FedEx customer service where a WONDERFUL woman listened to my frantic story and explained the whole process to me clearly and calmly. When I thanked her profusely for being the one ray of hope in my whole frustrating day, she even offered to call ahead and make sure that they would have what I needed. *Sigh* She probably thought I was crazy, given the emphasis with which I thanked her. I was ready to burst into tears again - this time from sheer relief.

Darling Mikey packed me into the car and drove me to the hub, where he carefully protected me from more frustration and the attendant from me. We not only managed to get everything we needed (a diagnostic bag and a FedEx Express form), but only sent the box containing Christmas gifts off to my dad and his wife. When we got back to the car it was exactly 12 o'clock, and since I am not yet proficient at Apparating, we had to give up for the day. Which is just as well because I was in no mood to face the Vampire Lady again.

Tomorrow, I will go first thing in the morning and get this over with. At least until next month. Which reminds me - I didn't pick up any extra bags or forms. Dang it all!

Well, Get It Off Me!

When I left the hospital, they told me not to lift anything over 10 pounds for the first two weeks and then slowly build up after that. My biggest concern regarding this restriction is that my own body weight is SIGNIFICANTLY more than 10 pounds and I have been afeared of sitting up using just my stomach muscles. I have done lots of flopping around like a fish and levering myself up with strategically placed hands, arms, and elbows. I have been wondering when is the right time to start using those muscles on their own again. Well, let me tell you, nothing encourages use of stomach muscles like being in a prone position on the couch, seeing your big, manly husband twitch violently, and hearing him say "IT'S ON YOU!".

Several minutes later, we have rescued the poor, hapless spider who dropped in our midst and learned that I am not quite ready to be doing sit-ups yet. Ouch.

Whew.

Bubbles managed to survive the night without being molested by curious kitty cats. Hermie was just barely rescued from a dramatic drop off the entertainment center at the claws of a certain orange terror. Hermie decided it would be best to spend the night locked in the bathroom to avoid another such incident. Both newbies have been studiously ignored by all veteran pets during daylight hours.

I Am.

Very Tired Today.

What was I thinking?

The next time I talk about getting a classroom pet, somebody smack me. I can't imagine what I was thinking. Not only are they distracting during class time, but you have to remember to feed the darn things and you have to feel guilty if they die (something fish and hermit crabs are really good at, it seems). And of course, there is the hassle of taking care of them during vacation time.

Mikey and I went to school this morning and spent a good hour cleaning out the fish tank and taking the sole surviving fish home with us. We then spent another hour setting up a tank at home for him. The sole surviving hermit crab also came home with us, although his habitat is a little more relocatable. All so that I wouldn't have to go to school every day to feed them. ONE FISH AND ONE HERMIT CRAB. Ugh.

Okay, so I whine about it, but I am also a little enamored with the site and sound of a fish tank in our living room. We always had one while I was growing up and I find it very soothing. Bonsai finds it very tempting. This little guppy might end up staying with us. He is a hardy little fella (one of the original three and only survivor of the 9 we have had in our room this year), but I think that some goldfish might be better suited to the classroom setting. The hermit crab on the other hand is evil (he ATE several of his roommates) and will be returning to school as soon as possible.

By Request

Here are some of the poems in the book given to me by my students. Please keep in mind that they are in 4th grade and that they did these completely on their own without any adult influence. :)

Roses are red
Violets are blue,
Teachers are great
And so are you!!!
Because you are the #1 teacher
In the whole school.


Roses are read
Violets are bluee
There is love and hope for you
I hope you feel better
That's why I wrote this letter


Marvelous
Rich
Smart
Happy
Outstanding
Matters to everyone
Math helper
Education
Loving


Every day Mrs. H brightens up our day.
With a pretty smile that hides away the pain.
Anyway, I hope to see you soon but when you
come to school beware of the children around you.
Get ready for the biggest hug you have ever had!


Merry
Royal
Smart
.
Happy
Outstanding
Magnificent
Mannered
Excellent
Loyal


Roses are red
Vilots are blue
You're our teacher
And we miss you.

As you can see, they are still working on developing their individual styles...but they are very sweet.

Before the Break There is Chaos

I shouldn't even tell any of you this, because I am sure I will get yelled at, but today I spent the whole day at school. I got there at 9:05 - just in time to hear the names of my kiddos who were being celebrated - and left at about 4:30 - after spending the whole day getting hugged and loved on by my darlings. I got so many gifts that I couldn't lift them into the car by myself and I had the bestest of times seeing book presentations and watching the White Elephant Gift Exchange. I got to say hello to all my buddies that I won't get a chance to see again until the new year and I got lots of walking exercise. Aside from the first and last days, this is always my favorite day of school. The work is all done, there is fun to be had, and everyone is in a festive mood.
Perfection.
And I wouldn't have missed it for anything.
Tomorrow, I will be resting and I will continue to do so as long as my body requires it. So, don't worry about me...I promise to be good from now on!

PS - My best gift was a set of poems that my students wrote about me and pasted into a beautiful journal. It is quite sweet.

Holiday Hint #24

When making your own Christmas cards, it is good to keep in mind that you are going to have to send the finished product to your grandmother.

So, keep it clean!

Pathetic

I always have nightmares before an important day, especially if I am required to be somewhere be a certain time. I always spend the night before having all sorts of rediculous problems that result in me being late to my very important date. You would think this would be a problem I could avoid for the weeks that I have NOTHING to do. But no.

Last night's nightmare was all about how I was missing the holiday feast that my students were having on the last day before Winter break. I kept losing track of what day it was. And, as if that weren't bad enough, when I would wake up between repetitions, I couldn't figure out what day it really was, so I would fall right back into the same dream. It took a good five minutes after I really woke up to straighten it all out in my head. Fortunately, the part is tomorrow. I'm not late. Yet.

Finally

I have finally, and rather belatedly, started getting into the Christmas spirit. I justify the delay be saying that between frantically preparing for and slowly recovering from the surgery, I just didn't have the time to think about what time of year it was. Oh, and the fact that it has been in the high 70's all week hasn't helped much either. It feels like June. Anyway, as I said, I have finally gotten the bug.

I finished my shopping, such that it was, the other night (all online - no malls, no hassles). The gifts that are here are nearly finished being wrapped, and the ones that are on the way will be wrapped as soon as they hit my front door. I am gearing up to decorate as soon as my darling hubby gets the boxes down from the closet shelf - I would do it myself, but I'm still on lifting restrictions. I'm looking forward to draping our living room with ribbons and lights and homemade ornaments.

Spoiled

There are some things you can never go back to...

- a dial-up connection after DSL,
- Hershey's chocolate after authentic German chocolate (or so they tell me),
- a 2 kidney body after donating one to a beloved cousin,

and most obvious to me this evening...

- watching movies on TV after getting used to NetFlix.

I can't tell you how annoying it is that the TV big-wigs have been controlling my pee-breaks and tea getting all evening while I watched "Liar, Liar". Not to mention all the interrupting and censoring of swear words.

Cat Logic

My baby Bonsai missed me while I was gone. He's just a baby (just over 8 months) and he was the one who was the most overtly affectionate when we returned. He even started jumping onto my lap, which would be really sweet, if he would just choose a different place to do it. Because he can't seem to figure it out anywhere besides the bathroom. That's right. Lately, I take a pee with a 10 pound ball of orange fur purring at me.

I have become a crazy cat lady.

More about My Health

I know you are all sick to death of listening to me talk about how I feel, but this is my blog and that is all I think about these days, so that's the way it goes.

Today was a big step on the staircase to recovery. In the days right after the surgery I was amazed at how much better I felt each morning. Then I got home and things seemed to plateau a bit. I have 2 or 3 days of feeling pretty much the same and then suddenly make a leap. Today was one of those leaps.

I tossed and turned last night, as usual, looking for a comfortable position, but I woke up feeling better than ever. I am finding myself needing less and less assistance in getting up from a prone position, which tells me that my stomach muscles are starting to do some of their fair share of the work. I got myself some breakfast and then I worked on writing out certificates for the students in my class who are going to be recognized this Friday. The sub could have done it, but it means more for it to come from me. I was feeling so good when I finished that little project that I started working on the massive pile of "thank you" cards I have to write. Still feeling energetic, I decided to take the certificates over to school myself.

I'm sure if you have ever had to recover from something, you know that the most tiring thing isn't necessarily going somewhere, but having to explain to people over and over how you are feeling. This was one of the reasons I had previously avoided going to school during working hours. I knew I would have to go over the whole procedure with each person who I met in the halls, not a bad thing, just a tiring one. And so it went. I saw tons of people, got lots of hugs, and answered the question "How are you feeling?" about a zillion times.

I then spent a little time with my students. They were in the process of studying for tomorrow's social studies test, so I let them go on with their work, but several of them kept looking back at me and smiling. They took great pride in showing off all the information they had learned in my absence. (I can't say strongly enough how much I appreciate my sub. She did a fabulous job.) As they left for lunch, I had a joyful little crowd around me, each wanting to give me a hug and tell me some of their news. I had forgotten how many of them there were and how sweet they all are. It was WONDERFUL.

The remaining visiting time was spent in the teacher's lounge, getting more hugs and chatting with my teammates. I missed that part of the day the most - the sharing of news and laughter. I am a social beast and being at home with only Mikey (exceptional though he may be) and the cats doesn't quite fulfill my socialization needs. This was the perfect antidote to the cabin fever I have been suffering from. Plus it allowed Mikey some undisturbed work time, since I drove myself there and back. I am going back on Friday for a party of sorts and I am quite excited.

The rest of my day has been filled with reading a great series and watching an old musical (sheesh, there are some pretty archaic ideas in those things) as I wait for Mikey to finish his work day. Things are definitely looking up.

Hee hee

I got a shirt from Amy that says, in beautifully embroidered letters, "It takes guts to be a kidney donor". In return I am giving her this shirt. Mikey and I designed it ourselves.

You know,

It is rather annoying to have an upset tummy at the same time as a healing stomach incision, since it is difficult to tell which is bothering you at any given time.

Baby Steps

I felt better enough today to gather all the supplies I would need to keep myself entertained on a typical day off - books, water bottle, markers, light school work, thank you cards, kleenex, cell phone, hairbrush, stuffed kitty, pens/pencils, and the ever present bottle of Tylenol. I didn't use any of these things, but the act of gathering them as though I might seemed like a monumental step. Perhaps tomorrow when I don't have to waste the energy getting them together first...

Walkies!!!!

This morning Mikey and I walked around the housing development the long way. I needed a long nap afterwards, but it felt good to be doing something active. This afternoon, we walked around the block (the short way) as well. Again, it was nice to be in the fresh air. Also, I tried to cut my 2 Tylenol every 6 hours down to 1 every 6 hours, but there are aches and twinges in my back that suggest I'm not quite ready for it. Despite that, I am feeling quite good today. I was able to sit much more comfortably on the couch and even able to do some straightening up in the kitchen. Not to say that Mikey isn't doing a good job (He IS!), but it felt good to do something useful.

Best Friends Ever

I have the best friends in the whole world. They seem to "get" what I am all about and not only accept it, but enjoy it. Lucky me!

Yesterday, one of my friends called me up and asked if she could bring me anything. For a brief moment, I was afraid that she meant bringing me food that I would feel guilty about (she is a much busier person that I and has no extra time for cooking me food), but she soon set me at ease by suggesting that she bring over some of the books she had enjoyed. That alone would have made my day, but when she arrived I saw that most of them were mystery/detective type stories with interesting female lead characters. Only, like, my favorite kind of book!

And then today another friend (the one who is covering my class for me while I am out) dropped by with a bag full of musicals for me to borrow. We had once chatted about musical and she figured I would need a break from all the reading I was doing. She even remembered which ones I said I hadn't seen.

See? Very cool friends. I hope I can return the favors sometime.

Somebody HELP.

IT ITCHES!!!

Oh, and for those of you who might be tempted to make me feel better by reminding me that "itching is a good thing - it means things are mending", please be forewarned that that doesn't actually help with the INFERNAL ITCHING at all. I know, I know, good intentions and all, but at the moment I am daydreaming about having Wolverine-like claws. The better to scratch me with, my dear!

They say it's your birthday...

Or they do if you happen to be the adorable guy I call hubby. That's right, the Mikey is starting another lap around the sun today and I want you all to be sure to send him a birthday thought. He's handling this one fairly well considering it is the big three-oh. I would have enjoyed doing something big and exciting for him, but the timing didn't work out well and he wouldn't have liked it anyway, so instead we opened some presents this morning and had lunch at Chili's this afternoon. I have promised a home-cooked meal and other more traditional goodies when I am feeling better. For now I just hope that he knows just how fabulous I think he is.

Many happy returns of the Day, Mikey. My shoes hurt!

The Healing

My incision is itching like a mother-father. The left side is splitting just the tiniest bit on occasion. Nothing to worry about, but annoying all the same. There is still an angry, maroon bruise along the length of the upper half, but most of the other bruising has reached that sickly yellow-green stage that means it is just about gone. I have gone to taking nothing but Tylenol for the pain and it seems to be going well. The big shadow bruise on my left hand is nealy gone and doesn't hurt at all anymore. My poke-holes are pretty well healed on the surface but continue to pain me a little inside. That is still the more sensitive side although I still wonder if it isn't the visual of a big, empty spot that bothers me most. I am walking up-right once again (although when I am not paying attention, I still curl up protectively out of habit rather than pain). I continue to sleep 12 hour nights with a 1-2 hour nap about half-way between. My appetite is still subdued - I feel stuffed to the point of pain after eating about 1/2 what is normal for me - but that isn't really a bad thing. All in all, I am quite satisfied with how things are progressing, although I am still not getting anything done. It is just too irritating to have to do everything in slow motion and bending over is still an off-limits move. I am hoping that once I reach the 2 week mark (Monday) I will be able to start doing more. I had hopes of getting birthday and Christmas cards out as well as finishing up the tiny bit of Chrismas shopping I am going to do. We'll see.

The Physical and the Emotional

You know how Amy had leakage from her incision? Well, since that happened I have become quite nervous about my own incision. This is not helped by the fact that my right side remains much more swollen than the left and my whole abdomen continues to be swollen and tender. I called the Mayo today and talked to a nurse coordinator (mine being off today, of course!) who said that things were probably just fine, but that it wouldn't hurt anything to go see my regular doctor. She mostly said this after I told her that I was unable to control the pain with just Tylenol, something she said I should be able to do by now. So, I called and made an appointment with my local doctor for Monday afternoon and then I took a nap. I am going to see if the Tylenol isn't more effective if I take it regularly (harder to do in the night when I am sleeping) during the day in the meantime. Mostly I just need to be careful not to freak myself out about the things in my head.

I noticed while I was talking to the nurse that I was on the brink of tears. It seems that there is some emotional flotsam and jetsome floating around in my head afterall. I was starting to wonder. It seems to be linked most strongly with the continued discomfort and boredom that comes from forced relaxation. Unfortunately, the idea of crying still seems too physically painful! Guess that will have to wait for some time.

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

The queen proclaims that all her subjects must read the book "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. She finds it a desctiptive, thoughtful story complete with an interesting bit of jolt at the end.

The queen is now going to begin reading "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix".

That is all.

The Sun is Shining!

I am happy to see it after the cloudy, rainy day we had yesterday. It always perks my spirits up to see that big, warm square of sunlight lounging on my living room floor. Good stuff, I tell you.

Talked with my dad this morning - always a good way to start the day. It was a great conversation (at least from my perspective, but I may not have been all the way awake. i hope i made a little sense!), but there was some bad news. The other cat lovers who stop by here on occasion will understand the sorrow they are feeling due to the death of a feline family member. Please send them comforting thoughts.

Also, I realized that I forgot to thank Pam for the comfort items that she gave me. I think I mentioned the pillow that I had on the plane that made the whole trip comfortable. Pam got that for me. And I am not sure that I have told you about the stuffed kitty that I carried with me nonstop after the surgery. That kitty helped me feel like my remaining guts were going to stay in place while I took my first lap around the nurses' station. Pam got that kitty for me, too. She also helped my Daddy get to Rochester. For all these things that comforted me so much, I say thank you. Thank you very much. You're good people. :)

Uneventful

Spent the day doing nothing. Took nap. Ate food. Watched movie. Read book. Having trouble keeping track of when I last took my pain meds, because they are so few and far between now. Not very comfortable. Will be glad when I can stretch again. And sit up easily. Must do something useful tomorrow. Maybe. Goodnight.

Errors and Praise

ERROR:
It turns out that I was wrong. A two hour nap proved that I was still capable of sleeping.
PRAISE:
Mikey is cooking my lunch - mac and cheese with peas - like a good boy. He has been an absolute angel through this whole ordeal. Cooking and cleaning and lifting and carrying and babying me to no end. I wouldn't have had the nerve to do this without him and I certainly couldn't have recovered from it without him. Amy is darn lucky that I married such an awesome man!

BORED

Yep. Already.

See, the thing is that I have done all the sleeping I can possibly do and there is still 63% of the day left. I have eaten a bowl of cereal/glass of OJ, petted the cats, and read some blogs. I am too sore to sit comfortably (which takes away most of my entertainment - TV, books, sewing, guitar), too limited in my lifting to do the laundry or cleaning that could be done, and too awake to do any more sleeping. What is a girl to do?

The problem mostly comes from cutting back on my pain meds. I am down to 1/2 a dose every 7 or 8 hours. I thought this would be a good thing since I prefer knowing just how my body is actually feeling to the numbness that comes from doping it up, but it turns out that the wonderfully healing sleep I was getting from my multiple naps was coming straight out of that amber bottle. So now I am still only slightly uncomfortable, but I don't have the pleasure of dozing away hours of that discomfort at a time.

Okay. That's done with now. No more whining. I am actually really happy with how I am feeling. I was worried that cutting back on the meds would make it hurt more, but it really doesn't. I am able to sit, stand and lie down, but only for short periods of each at a time. I am able to lie on either side now, although the right side is definitely less sensitive. I am still not walking fully upright - I look a bit like Lucy - but I am not shuffling nearly as much as I used to. Things are progressing exactly the way they should be for me.

Amy Update:
Although most of her numbers are looking good, her white blood cell count is still elevating and they haven't figured out why. Hopefully, the results of the biopsy and blood tests that they did yesterday will clue them in and help them get things under control. It seems that Amy also had some trouble with her incision yesterday. I guess there was a bleeding bruise or something like that and it started leaking out between the stitches. It turns out it isn't anything to worry about, but I am sure it was a little disconcerting. I will let you know when I find out anything about the remaining test results. I am desperately hoping that the latest crossmatch comes back negative.

Back Home

Wow. Yesterday was a flurry of motion and activity.

We got up at 6:30 so we could go do a blood draw at 7:00. Unlike on the weekends, the lab on Monday mornings is busy! We waited around for nearly an hour before we could leave. Returning to the hotel room, I napped while the guys got things packed up. I wasn't feeling very well at all and the nap was quite refreshing.

We checked out at about 10:00 and headed to the Twin Cities where we stayed for a few hours with my Aunt Kate. She fed us grilled cheese sammies and tomato soup for lunch and let us nap on her couch. It was quite relaxing and pleasant.

Around 3:30, we got to the airport where the SkyCap guy allowed us to bribe him out of making us pay for the (4 lbs) overweight bag we had. We managed to wrangle a wheelchair ride for me to the gate. We got to go through a special security gate and everything! I remembered to wear my TED socks for the flight - in fact, they kept my legs nice and warm despite the lack of blanket. The flight went spectacularly, and I wasn't even sore until the car ride home. Between leaning the seat back and using the smooshie pillow that Pam gave me, I was able to stay at pretty much the right angle.

The ride home from the airport was not quite as wonderful. The in-laws very kindly picked us up and their vehicle is more comfortable than most, but there was no leaning back to be had and my back muscles were pretty strained. By the time we actually got home, I was pretty sore and pretty tired. We were greeted by 3 adoring kitty-cats who didn't leave the room we were in until sometime this morning. Bonsai and Huzzah were especially attentive, wanting to sleep with us and on us during the night. I managed to keep my tummy protected AND get some of Bonsai's slobbery kitty kisses at the same time. How lucky am I? :) Oh, and I slept most of the night on one side or the other, something I wasn't able to do just 2 nights ago.

You would think that after all the napping I did all day long, that I would have had trouble sleeping, but that is not the case. We tucked ourselves in at about 10:00 last night and I didn't get up until about 5 minutes ago. I am feeling pretty good, but with a little more pain than I was having before. I decided that now that the travelling is done it's time to see how much I can cut back on the pain meds. For my last dose, I took a Tylenol and 1/2 a Perc. It isn't quite as effective as a whole Perc., but definitely managable. And this way I won't be trying to do too many things too soon. A healthy reminder of my limitations isn't a bad thing right now.

Woke up this morning...

and got myself a waffle.

I am once again feeling very good. I slept poorly last night until I moved myself out to the couch. Something about being cradled in the fold of the cushions was just the amount of comforting I needed. I slept until 9 and got up ready to eat a whole waffle! (Yesterday I could only handle 3/4 of one.)

The guys think that I must be feeling better because I made them straighten things up in here when we got back from breakfast. Actually, I didn't MAKE them do anything - I started straightening up myself and they tried to stop me. Now I am trying to figure out what we can do with the small amount of energy I have stored up. I want to get out of the hotel room and do something, but it has to be something that will allow me to sit down and rest any time I need to. Or stand up and stretch any time I need. We are considering a trip to the movies to see "The Incredibles", but I am worried about having to sit upright for 2 hours.

I'm sure this is all of interest to you, so I will be sure to let you know what we decide on. :)

Today's Update

I gave some blood this morning and they used it to do another crossmatch test. It seems that there was a bit of a reaction, meaning that Amy's system was starting to notice the foreign object tucked in next to her pelvic bone. They did a session of plasmapheresis as well as giving her some kind of IV drug. She will continue to do this for a couple of days and then have a biopsy on Tuesday. At this point it isn't anything to worry about, and they are glad that they caught it early.

I have been feeling fine. I had to get up quite early to do the blood draw, but I took a very long, very intense nap afterwards. I experimented with lengthening the time between doses of pain meds but decided that I'm not quite ready for that. If I wait longer than 6 hours, I get mighty uncomfortable. If I stay dosed up, though, I feel pretty good. Took the stairs up two flights again today as well as a long shower and a trip to Zorba's for lunch. A busy day for someone 6 days post-surgery.

Everything I Need to Know...

I am going to take a page from Amy's book and tell you some of the things that I have learned in the last week:

It is difficult to play board games from a prone position.

It is possible to get a shirt that says "It takes GUTS to be a kidney donor." And I look darn good in one.

After having a hole cut in your abdomen, a needle stick for a blood draw isn't so bad.

When you really need pain medication, it doesn't make you loopy.

Even if you really need it, pain medication can still wreak havoc on your powers of concentration
and organization of thought.

It is easier to handle pain when there are big positives connected to it.

Sleeping on your back is possible, but not really all that much fun.

Eventually, I can get tired of talking about myself.

Having an overfilled stomach is particularly unpleasant when your stomach is being held together with thread.

Laughter, while being the best medicine for you mind, can be incredibly painful for your body.

I am not at all concerned about having a 6 inch scar across my belly, but I am seriously hoping that the lopsidedness goes away.

I am not going to miss our cable television when it runs out this month. Not even a little bit.

And most of all...

I WAS RIGHT WHEN I TOLD PEOPLE THAT SEEING AMY FEELING BETTER WOULD MAKE ALL THIS WORTH WHILE.

Every time that I see her smile or hear her revel in eating something that was previously forbidden, it makes it that much easier to handle the little pain I have left. I'm thrilled that I can look at that happiness and know that I had something to do with it. If only I had more disposable body parts! :)

Amy's Site

If you are interested in knowing more about Amy's end of this whole process, you should go to her site. I know I told you this before, but this time I am going to tell you how to get there. Click on the link in the first sentence. Or simply type this address into your address bar:

http://amy.dflytech.com/

Enjoy.

Super Girl

I am feeling VERY good tonight. I have been alert and relatively active all afternoon. We took the elevator down to the lobby level to get the paper and then we took the stairs back up. And it didn't hurt at all. I am still walking a little hunched over, and it kills to laugh, but I am moving much faster than before.

I talked to my pal "A", who is currently on cat duty, and she said things are all very good at home. There is going to be a pile of mail and lots of little chore things to work on when we get back, but things are under control. It will be good to see the kitties. We miss them bunches.

Speaking of kitties, I also got some pics of the new kiddie. He is ADORABLE! His daddy looks quite proud and, if the picture ratio is true to life, seems to be spending lots of time gazing at his tiny son. Just as it should be. I am not going to try to do it now, but I will post a pic of the little guy when I get home and re-settled.

Surgery, Pt. 1

We got to the hospital at 5:30. This is even before the doors have officially opened! Thom and Kathy drove us there and Dad and Pam were there to meet us. Amy and crew showed up shortly. We checked in at the desk and were told to have a seat. We sat for a few minutes, making small talk and looking at each other. I was pretty stunned by the fact that the day had arrived, and everyone was pretty tired - neither hotel had decent coffee, much to the dismay of my coffee consuming family.

Amy was called first. She and her entourage had just disappeared down the hall, when my name was called. We gathered up our things and followed the escort to the 2nd floor. My family was showed to the family waiting room, while Mikey and I were put in a little room. I got changed out of my street clothes, into the glamorous gown they provided for me. Actually, the gown, robe, TED socks, and slippers all matched well. I was quite fashionable. We were in this room for about an hour, while nurses came in to take my vitals, give me instructions, and put an IV in my hand. Eventually, it was time to say goodbye to Mikey (something that happened way too quickly). I had to lie down on a gurney and get a ride back down to the pre-op room on 1st floor. That was a new perspective!

In pre-op, I had to answer lots of questions - the most disconserting of which being "So, what are we doing for you today?". Um. I know that is for good reason, but I would feel better if they didn't sound so uncertain! I met the anesthesiologist and spent lots of time people watching while I waited for Amy to show up. When she got there, we were put next to each other so we could chat. At about 8:30, they said it was time to go, so I said goodbye to Amy.

The operating room was full of masked people and shiny machinery. Everyone said "Goodmorning" as I was wheeled in, which was surprisingly comforting. I was shifted from the gurney to the operating table (I was sitting on a beanbag!), and they started applying monitors and such. As I was lying on the table, staring up at the huge lights (like a dentist's light, but much bigger), I had my first few moments of fear. I was just starting to have a flutter of panic when the anesthesiologist said he was going to give me "a little something to take the edge off". I'm not sure what edge he was talking about though, because before I could ask him, I was asleep. The next thing I remember, a nurse was saying my name and telling me that I was in the recovery room.

According to Mikey's recollections, I was cut into at about 9:06 and the kidney was removed at about 9:50. By 10:55, I was stitched up and hanging out in the recovery room, waiting for my brain to catch up with my body. At this point (5 days later), I'm still not sure it's totally caught up. It's time for a rest. Recovery details coming later...

Please Welcome...

I would like to introduce my newest nephew, Richard Jerome. He arrived on December 1st at around noon. He was a healthy 9 lbs. 4 oz, but only 20 inches long. A chubby little thing! I hear that he is a sweet boy and I really wish I could see him. At least there are plenty of pictures being sent.

Am I Making Any Sense?

Hola!

Here I am, still feeling remarkably well. We headed to bed about 9 pm last night after I won a game of Unexploded Cow (despite being super stoned on pain meds). Mikey was asleep within 3 minutes of hitting the pillow and I wasn't too far behind. The pain meds tend to give me the jumpies as I am falling asleep, which often results in a tummy spasm that lurches me back into wakefulness. Even during the night, I was functioning on 6 hour shifts, since my body is still very aware of when the next dose of meds is due.

We got up this morning with just enough time to shower before heading down for a bit of breakfast. I managed to eat about half a bowl of Total and most of a glass of apple juice. It is much more comfortable to be sitting up now - I think the inflato-gas is pretty much gone - but it is still tiring to be up and about for too long.

Ooh. Mikey just found Charlie's Angels II, and since it is easier to watch something than to try to put together complete sentences, I think it's time for me to be done with this post.

In other news...

And in case you were wondering, there are some exciting things happening that don't involve me. The biggest one, in my opinion (and that's what really matters here, right?), is that my sister is in the process of expelling a third child from her loins. She is an old pro at this kinda thing, so I am not particularly worried, but I'd like you all to keep her in your thoughts. Pretty soon, I will have a nephew named Richard or a niece named Madeline. How exciting! :)

Many Thanks...

I have so many people to thank for helping with this whole process...

Thank you, Mikey, for supporting me through the getting ready, getting cut on, and getting better. I could never have done this without your strength. I will never be able to repay you for sleeping in a chair for two nights, or for attending to my every need so cheerfully for the last few days. I love you more than I ever thought possible and I am continuously stunned by my outstanding luck in finding you.

Thank you, Daddy, for adjusting your hectic school schedule to be with me. You were the first familiar face I saw after the surgery and I really needed to see one at that moment. I love you.

Thank you, Thom and Kathy, for all the rides and attention lately. This whole process was made much smoother simply knowing that you were there to help when needed - emotionally and physically. I love you.

Thank you, Mom, for visiting and chatting with me. Thank you for convincing me to take that extra pain medication this morning. It made all the difference. I love you.

Thank you, Amy and family, for all your smiles, prayers, and support. I couldn't pick a better person to give a kidney to or better people to have as family. I love you all.

Thank you, Dr. Stegall, for your quick, steady hand in the operating room. It was nice to be able to go in with such confidence that things would go well.

Thank you, all my nurses, for your smiling faces and kind words while I was in the hospital. I was able to rest and recupperate much better knowing that you were there to keep me safe. I felt downright spoiled with all the attention and concern that you showed me.

Thank you, Mayo Hospital staff, for the nutritious (and delicious) meals, the prompt service, the excellent healing environment. Thank you especially for allowing my Mikey to stay with me the whole time. I would recommend the Mayo to anyone!

And finally, thank you to all the people - family, friends, and complete strangers - who were keeping us in their thoughts and prayers. I firmly believe that you played an important part in making the prep, surgery, and recovery go as well as they did. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and that I am eternally in your debt!

Posted by Mikey

It is 12:43 on Tuesday, November 30th. I have been short one kidney for a whole day now. Things are going as perfectly as could be expected. Amy and I are both peeing. I have been up walking for two laps around the nurse's station, as well as getting up to pee twice. The only really bad part was when they tried to get me up last night and I ended up dry heaving. Dry heaving with muscles that have been recently sewn together is not something I would recommend to anyone. I suspect I scared the girl next door (she was there having a benign tumor removed from her jawline) when I cried, "Oh, God!" each time I heaved. It hurt so much that I didn't even care. I just wanted to cry. I felt much better during the night - there were moments when I actually contemplated calling the nurse in to have me go for a walk - but I just dozed on and off instead. This morning, they removed the catheter (not nearly as painful as I feared) and disconnected me from the IV fluids. Now, I am already up to a regular diet, having proven that my bowels are working by producing a long fart. Yay, me! Unfortunately, I am not particularly hungry. The pain in my stomach is bearable, but tends to overwhelm everything else. Except for the pain in my shoulder from the inflato-gas. That is overwhelming in and of itself. Mostly because it doesn't respond to pain meds. Ah, well. It will go away soon, they tell me.

Update by Mikey after this was written: she woke up later very much hungry, and her grilled cheese sandwich vanished. Then she took a walk around the ward, then later another walk down the hall, into a wheelchair, then up to visit Amy's room. She's doing perfectly, with the only problem being the inflato-gas pains. We will be leaving tomorrow after I have another wonderful night on a recliner. At least the nurses will be poking in on us a lot less often during the night this time. Which probably just means my back will have time to settle into a spine-shattering position before I can wake up and shift. But on the plus side, I have all my kidneys and the closest thing to a gaping hole in my gut is my bellybutton.

A quick post

Solee shall be going under the knife today. That's a scary prospect! I will... finish this another time when I don't need to rush off to the hospital.

We now interrupt this post by the hubby to tell you that I am about to head off to the admissions desk to check in for surgery. Wish me luck. Talk to ya'll when I am up to typing again. Ta!

...

Nothing But the Truth

After reading about MomBrain's truths, I had to do my own. I chose to explore the truth about donating a kidney (because that is the only thing I can think about these days).

The Apparent Truth (How does it look from the outside?) -- It looks heroic. I know this because that is what everyone has said. I have heard that I am an amazing, caring generous person multiple times a day for the last 2 months.

The Real Truth (What it is it really like for me, on the inside?) -- Thrilling. I am excited to be doing something different and special.

The Spirit Truth (If this were serving a spiritual purpose in your life, what would it be?) -- This is my way of trying to swing my karmic balance in the right direction. I know that this is the right thing to do and I am very happy that I am able to do something so beneficial to someone else. It has caused me to do lots of thinking about my faith and my beliefs.

The Shadow Truth (What is the dark side, the thing you don't want to admit you're getting from this?) -- Attention. I have been getting a lot of extra attention and although I can't say I don't enjoy it, I do feel guilty about it. It doesn't seem right somehow. But there it is.

The Fairy-Tale Truth (If this were in a fairy tale, known or unknown, what would it be?) -- Anything by Brothers Grimm. Those fairy tales always made me uncomfortable because of the graphic use of pain and fear. The Little Mermaid felt as though she were walking on broken glass. The children kept chicken bones around to fool the witch in the Gingerbread House into thinking they needed more fattening up. There are moments when I realize that someone is going to be slicing through my stomach muscles with a knife as I lay on the surgical table with a machine breathing for me. Shudder.

The Unsaid Truth (What remains to be said?) -- I am a blessed person. I have people in my life who will do anything to help me and I am eternally grateful for that. What more is there to say?

So, what is YOUR truth?

Head Shot

I have a sinus cold. It started the day before we left and it was on its way out until I pissed it off by going on an airplane ride. On the way back to solid ground, I seriously thought my head was going to explode, and I have been flipping between mouthbreathing because my nose is plugged and mouthbreathing because my nasel passages are so dried out that they feel like they are on fire for the last few days. It sucks.

I mentioned this to my coordinator on Friday and she said it snouldn't interfere with surgery plans unless I start having junk in my throat and lungs. So far, no sign of that. I have been doing lots of resting and sleeping and resting and dosing myself up with citrus drinks and ice water in hopes of getting rid of this thing before Monday, but I am starting to think it won't happen. The very last thing in the whole wide world that I want to experience is one of these body rattling sneezes after having a hole cut in my gut. OH, THE AGONY OF THAT.

2...

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Stupid hotel internet.

I had a great post. It is gone now. Too bad for you.

Summary -

1. Read the "Kidney Table" section to find out more about the upcoming kidney surgery.

2. I am feeling good.

3. It is snowing.

Gotta go to breakfast. Ciao.

3...

We're here in Rochester and I have already been out and about once. We got up at 5:30 this morning, which in our jetlagged brains was the equivalent of 3:30. I had some blood drawn and peed in a cup and then we were able to come back for breakfast. Now we are off to meet with the coordinator and the surgeon. Then we're done for the weekend and able to just hang out. Another blood draw on Sunday morning and then we check into the hospital Monday morning. Getting right down to the nitty gritty now.

I am giving Mikey access to the blog, so he will be able to post now and again about how I am doing even if I am not up to blogging myself. So hopefully there will be brief updates while I am in surgery and recovery.

We're Off to See the Wizard...

The last lesson plan is written, the last dish washed. Our kitties have been bid a fond farewell with the promise of an adoring visit from friends once a day. The garbage and recycling have been taken out, the fridge emptied of all that could potentially evolve into mobile being in the next 2 weeks. The sprinkler has been fixed, the bills paid, the rooms straightened, and the bags packed. We couldn't be more ready to leave.

And we couldn't be less ready. This is our humble abode and leaving it is always difficult. I know that I will be back soon, with ample time to sit around and appreciate that which we have. So, here we go. I will update when I can. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and be kind to the ones you love. Peace be with you.

Oh - and happy anniversary to my father and step-mother. Hope you are living it up! See you tomorrow.

The Other Half

If you are interested in what is going on donation-wise while I frantically scramble around my house packing and cleaning and getting ready for my half of the process, check out the fabulous posts at Amy's site regarding her half. She is keeping us up to date on the current goings-ons in Rochester - including, but not limited to neck straws. Check it out!

And leave her a message. She likes to get messages. Don't we all!?

Adorable

This post somehow got lost on the way to publishing, so it's a little later than I wanted...

This is something that actually came out of my husband's mouth this afternoon...

"I've got some bad news for you, honey. They're starting the [World of Warcraft] servers tomorrow, so you have to make me dinner and Seth and I are going to be gnomes."

He's so cute! Let me give you some context for this statement. Mikey has been beta testing this Warcraft game and the restarting of the servers signals the end of the free play and the beginning of the monthly fee - something he refuses to pay. This means that he has to play as much Warcraft as humanly possible in the next 24 hours to prepare for the abrupt end of his daily dosage. I suspect the withdrawal symptoms will be mighty.

PS - And then he made his own dinner because I was on the phone with various relatives all night. Such a good boy, he is.

The Beginning of the End

Now is the time to start sending healing thoughts to Rochester. I know that I don't have to be there for another week...yikes! 7 days!...but Amy is on her way there now. She has to have a pre-operation operation as well as a procedure of some kind that she happens to be a little nervous about. So, please, start your praying or thinking or meditating now. I know that everything is going to go as smooth as silk, but a little back up help never hurt anything.

Oh, and I am going to get my blood drawn for one of the final tissue typing tests as soon as the lab opens this morning. It's ON, baby!

Panic Attack

I suddenly realized that there were a very limited number of days left until Dec. shopping needed to be done. And that I was going to be laid up for a significant number of those days. Thanks be for the internet!

Like she said...

Surely to God people with a handle on shit (and laser-shooting eyeballs,
yo) don't need to put it down, right? Wrong...In defense of the strong ones, they need to be allowed to be weak sometimes.

It's always amazing to me to read something that could have come from my own head if I were literate enough. This time, it was Jett who did it. Thanks for turning my thoughts into words! :)

Dude!

5 days from right now, I will be landing in MN airport.

6 days from now, I will be doing my final blood work and meeting with my surgeon.

9 days from now, I will be awakening to the world minus one body part.

Wow. Suddenly, now that I am finished with conferences, there isn't anything else to think about. Everything I do is in preparation for the surgery. One step closer to this being "real".

Warm Fuzzies

I completely enjoy having conferences with parents who obviously love their kids and want what is best for them. It totally makes me day...my week...my year! And I have had several lately.

Things I Like to See From Parents

* They show up at the conference. Extra points for being on time. No points lost for calling and rescheduling BEFORE the assigned time.

* They know how to find the room in which their child spends the school day AND they know my last name. Bonus points for knowing my first name. Extra bonus points for having visited or contacted me regarding something prior to conferences.

* They have reasonable expectations for their children. This means if their kid is really bright, they know that and expect them to perform to the best of their ability. If their kid struggles with something, they understand that and simply expect them to perform to the best of their ability. It is so simple, and yet so complicated.

* They know what to expect when I pull out that report card. There are no surprises or horrified gasps because they have been reading the weekly assignment sheets that I send home.

* When I praise the child for doing something well, they say something along the lines of, "Good job. I'm proud of you." When I give suggestions for imporvement, they say something like, "That is something that we will work on. We will help them at home by_____."

* They avoid the phrase "Our _____ is just perfect!" no matter how brilliant that kid may be, and they refrain from giving the kid dirty looks and saying, "I told you so!".

* When I ask if they have any concerns or questions, they have something to add to the conference. This whole education thing is a two-way street and I need the information parents can provide just as much as they need the information I can give them.

* Super Duper Extra Bonus Points for any parent who tells me about how they
a) changed jobs/shifts so they could be home with their kid to help with school work and get quality time in the evenings.
b) worked things out with their exes so that everyone got along and cooperated to best support the children in the families.
c) are going to implement changes in the home to assist the student in improving their academics AND FOLLOWS THROUGH ON IT.

Kudos to all the great parents who are out there. As my dad commented, parenting is the hardest, most underpaid, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants job there is and it takes an amazing person to do it right. Thank you for putting your heart into this, the most important influence you will have on the future. It gives me hope. :)

Thank You

I just want to say thank you to the people in my life who have been going out of their way to make things smooth and peaceful and easy. Complex schedules, relationships and situations have become small bumps in the road rather than huge mountains on the horizon because of your willingness to be flexible and accomodating. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your efforts and the strength of your love. Everything I do is built on that foundation. Thank you and I love you.

I don't know which is more terrifying...

- the conferences which turn into a mini-parenting class because the adults so obviously have no idea what they are doing,

"Well, I don't understand how he can be missing so much homework. I ask him if he has done his homework every night and he always says that he did. I just don't know what else to do."

- or the ones where the parents take copious notes and hang on my every words as though they think I might actually know what I am talking about.

It's downright scary how much control I have over the lives of 30 9-year-olds when I don't even trust myself with one fulltime. I eat popcorn and candy canes for dinner. I watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force and say bad words on a regular basis. I have photographic evidence that I let my kitten play in the dryer and with plastic bags. Yet they trust me to give them advice on how to raise their child. If these parents only knew! :)

Things That I Like About Conference Week

1. Getting to tell the kids that there is "No homework this week!" and listen to them cheer without feeling like I am a bad, lazy teacher.

2. Having a legitimate excuse for getting home too late to go work out.

3. Those conferences where the parents have reasonable expectations, the child understands that it is, in fact, their responsibility to do their best, and everyone leaves feeling as though things have been accomplished.

4. Seeing the countdown to holiday break in the single digits.

5. Finishing the "required" work with enough time left over to do something FUN.

Things I Never Though I Would Say

In Front Of My Class:

"When I was in high school, we used to pass a note telling everyone to drop our books at the same time when we had a sub."

And then I demonstrated it.

Of course, this was prefaced and followed by the words "You should never, ever do this. It is bad and wrong." I still think I am going to a special level of hell reserved for people who tell kids how to torture their subs. At least I didn't tell them about the coughing at the same time bit. Or the sticking your pencils into the ceiling trick.

Mi Domingo Especial

Hola! Como esta? Hoy es un dia fantastico! Estoy estudiando espanol. Me gusta. Es un poco dificil, pero es un gran aventura! Ahora, como un burrito con mi marido. Hasta luego!

go, go, go

There was no school today, so Mikey and I ran around town doing errands. There were so many things to do we had to make a list...and prioritize it...so we would be sure to get everything done. The list:

1. get mail
2. get cat food from vet
3. return items to Staples
4. take passport pics at AAA
5. get water filter from PetCo
6. lunch at Thai Kitchen
7. shop at CostCo
8. shop at Orchard's
9. shop at ROSS

It was a busy day. We got lots done and we got rid of lots of money.

Hooray!

My jury duty service for the year was satisfied with a few phone calls. One more thing to check off the list. :)

On Your Mark, Get Set...

The plane tickets are here.
The hotel reservations are made.
The report cards are near done.
The conferences are scheduled.
The cat care is arranged (almost).

Damn. I think I might just about be ready for this thing.

Avoiding boredom and cold feet at all costs...

I've been thinking of things I am going to need to make my recovery time the most comfortable...

*a fluffy, comfy robe - I have a silky one, but I have a feeling that I will want one that I can fall asleep in on the couch, all toasty and warm, in front of a re-run of Law and Order.

*fluffy, comfy slippers - my current favorites have holes all over the bottoms and my toesies are getting chilly

(aside - Luckily, Mikey's aunt just sent us a couple of individual sized down throw blankets, one red and one blue. The red one became mine - matches my hair, you know - and it is going to be the first thing packed for the trip. I adore it and it has become my new security blanket. The best part is that it can be smooshed down into this little nothing of a package - perfect for the carryon bag.)

*a list of suggested reading and/or viewing - I have some "down time" coming soon and I need a way to keep myself from going stir crazy

*a doodad for hauling my school stuff - you know, one of those folding carts with wheels on it, because I am not going to be allowed to carry anything heavy for awhile

*an intricate coloring book - again with the keeping myself occupied

*sweatpants - who wants to lie around on the couch with jeans biting into your waist? not me!

I think a trip to ROSS and Kohl's are in order! :)

FYI

I don't know where to go with the thoughts that are trapped in my brain today. Let me leave it at this for the time being:

A history of being able to take care of one's self and do without special attention doesn't signify an actual desire to do so in all situations.

'Nuff said.

On Fate and Superstition

Today is exactly 3 weeks prior to my first major surgery. I am 26 (and one half!) years old, and I have never broken a bone, spent time in a hospital or had a serious illness. The idea of mortality is a very academic one. I have developed my beliefs and ideas about life and death, but I have never had to put them to the test. Here are my observations about the manner in which I am approaching this, my first brush (more like a sideways glance, really) with potential death.

I have never feared my own death. The nightmares that wake me in a cold sweat involve the deaths of those I love, not my own. Even now, I feel no fear, no impending doom, no uncertainty. The main reason for this fearlessness is that I am quite interested in what comes next. I am sure that if there is anything to be consciously aware of after leaving this world, it will be something worth seeing. I would miss the joys of this world, my faith in Fate allows me to accept that I will move on when it is time for me to move on.

Which brings me to another reason for my confidence. I believe that Fate causes things to happen when they are supposed to happen (for the most part). I can't even fathom that my time here is done - things are pointing too strongly at the things I have to do. I am not finished with my work, hence things will have to go well.

Of course, there is a fine line between faith and arrogance. It doesn't take much to move from the "Fate wants me to finish my work" to the "Fate wouldn't dare stop me now". This is a dangerous beam to walk, because if you take Fate and its blessings for granted, you are asking for trouble. In a previous post, I questioned my ability to be greatful enough for all the things I have been given. This feeling just gets stronger as time goes on. The more I have, the more I recognize the need to be thankful, lest it all be taken away in one fell swoop. And this is where the slightest touch of nerves hits when I think about the surgery.

I am not about to tempt Fate by assuming that things are going to go perfectly. I know that the chances are very good that I will recover quickly and move on with my life changed only for the better with the knowledge that I have done Something Good. And yet, I am preparing for the worst. I will tie up loose ends. I will complete the paperwork that tells my loved ones what to do if I should die or, even worse, become dependent on machines to sustain me. I will tell people how much they mean to me. I will do all the things I can to show Those In Charge that I am taking nothing for granted. I will be greatful for life, knowing that it can be taken away at any moment. (Something I should be doing anyway, not just because of impending surgery.)

So, here I am, loving my life and knowing that I am only a short way through it, yet preparing to give it up if that is what Fate asks of me. It is an odd, paradoxical place to be in, yet it makes perfect sense to me.

Blog Roll

I have attempted to reorganize my blogroll based on categories. Since I am too broke to upgrade to have more than one blogroll, I have tried to rig it to work the way I want. If it doesn't get straightened out soon, I will be going back to my good old alphabetized list.

Still Happening

Wow. It has been a long time since I wrote anything pertaining to the transplant, hasn't it? This isn't so much because nothing is happening (it is), but more because the things that are happening are stunningly uninteresting. And I have already bored you with them once or twice. Things like trying to catch my coordinator in person rather than playing phone tag for a week. Or getting ready for my absence by planning for a sub even though I know that too much planning is utterly useless. Oh, and don't forget having 4 official observations in the space of three weeks so that I won't fall behind while I am gone. Ugh.

In the medical realm, things have pretty much been paused. I am currently waiting for a letter from the doctor that will allow me to miss school for three weeks, and a package that will enable me to do the blood draw that needs to happen before I return to MN. (Which means I need to allow the Vampire Lady access to my sensitive inner elbow once again...sigh.) Other than that, I have just spent a lot of time being embarassed over the attention it is garnering me - a newspaper article, a visit from a local nephrologist (complete with model kidney which was donated to my class!), an announcement from the principal to the entire school PLUS several gathered parents at a Friday Morning Line Up, and hearing the phrase "That is SO amazing!" more times than I can count.

Speaking of undeserved attention...
Mikey has been showering me with gifts. I think I mentioned getting the last book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series before the last round of testing. Since then I have received the entire Harry Potter set, a DVD of Stephen Lynch, a great set of markers, some cool pencils (that I selfishly kept for myself rather than sharing them with my students), and a DVD of Linkin Park. I feel spoiled and selfish. Or I would if I didn't know that Mikey is going to enjoy these things (well, most of these things) right along with me.

So, you probably won't hear much more about the donation until things actually start to happen - near Thanksgiving. And then you will hear more than you care to know as I recover. I bet you can't wait!

Yep.

http://www.utterwonder.com/archives/2004/11/oh_well.php

Why waste a thousand words expressing something that comes through so strongly in a picture? Thanks to C. Monks for sharing. I hope he doesn't mind the link.

On A Jet Plane

Yeah...we're talking about leaving. At this point it is very general - maybe a new city, maybe a new state, maybe even a new country. But one thing is for sure...if this is the way the MAJORITY of citizens would like things to be, then I think I might be in the wrong place. Because I cannot relate to that. At all.

Places we have thought about:

Baja California - I have always wanted to live in Mexico. I think I could learn Spanish relatively easily and I like the laid back kind of life we could possibly have there.

North Carolina - Mikey has been toying with the idea of moving to a Red state and trying to make a difference. I pretty much nixed this one, saying that if we are moving states it is going to be to a place much closer to my family.

New Zealand - This would be a big change. Not sure how I feel about it.

Basically, my biggest concern about it is that I hate change and fear it with the most primitive of my brain cells. Unfortunately, it is likely that I will have to make a change when they open the new school nearby (lots of "our" students will be going there, drastically reducing our population). Another unavoidable change that is on the horizon is selling our house (we have an adjustable rate). I kinda figure that it will be better for me to make all these changes at once, rather than letting them sneak up on me one at a time. Might as well through in a major move at the same time, right? Well, maybe. We'll see how things go. Perhaps Bush and his crew will get overconfident and make that impeachable mistake I keep waiting for. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

It's election day. As I told my students, this is a particularly important election because NOBODY can confidently predict what is going to happen. Everyone has ideas, but that's all they are.

Mikey and I went out to vote this evening. I even came home right after school to do so. There was a line of about 10 people and we waited for about 15 minutes. No biggie. And since we had written up little cheat sheets with our votes for each proposition, it took us only a few minutes to finish up and earn our trip to Taco Bell.

I am proudly wearing my "I voted electronically" sticker on my shirt and we have had CNN on in the background all night (except for the couple minutes we turned to FOX for a laugh). In a couple minutes, we'll be riveted by Jon Stewart's Live Election Coverage.

Despite all this attention being paid to politics lately, I have NO IDEA what is going to happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'd like to be able to stay in this country.

NEW NEW NEW

I have recently come across a rash of thoroughly enjoyable blogs. My latest additions to the blogroll include:

Irony Central - I was originally drawn here by a sarcastic political post, but I stuck around by the hilarious baby/toddler stories. I REALLY like the sense of humor here.

The Art of Getting By - A teacher! She's a new teacher and she knows how I feel! I made an emotional connection to this blog immediately.

Telling Deeds - Another teacher. This one is from Texas. And she's writing for NaNoWriMo. That in and of itself is pretty impressive. Whether she finishes or not.

I strongly recommend each of these blogs and am proud to admit them to the blogroll. :)

I See Progress

I have managed to make progress on my terrifying to-do list. I went in to work this morning shortly after my last post. I got home about 30+ minutes ago. What did I do all day?

graded book reports
graded science presentations
graded math warm ups and quizzes
graded homework packets
entered all grades in the computer
printed grade sheets for each student
printed missing assignment sheets for each student
gather necessary papers to complete missing assignments
gathered materials that need to be photocopied
prepared for a fun "kidney transplant" activity to be done sometime
chatted with a couple of grandmas via cell phone
watched an episode of M*A*S*H (I needed some background noise)
prepared for observation by assistant principal this week
prepared for two observations by mentor next week

I was a busy girl. I am feeling much better having gotten all this taken care of. Tomorrow we start big testing and I can start getting ready for conferences (still a couple weeks off). Now it's time to trade back rubs with the hubby.

*Hmmm. I just looked at my to-do list with the idea of crossing off the stuff that is done, but there's nothing I can cross off. I spent 7 hours at work and can't cross a damn thing off the list. Sheesh.

Blame Amy

1)Starting with your head down to your toes, what health/beauty products have you used/applied to your body so far today? [For example, shampoo, toothpaste, makeup, cologne/perfume, nail polish, etc.]
I have brushed my teeth with Scope (I hate toothpaste) and put on Suave deoderant. On my shower days, I would also have used Suave Humectant shampoo and conditioner. I never apply makeup - just the occasional lotion to soothe any dry skin and Carmex if my lips are chapped.

2. Do you have a ritual when you take a shower, such as washing your hair first or maybe even brushing your teeth in the shower? If so, what? Do you prefer baths or showers?
I like to occasionally soak in a bath, but showers are my daily routine. We have a HUGE shower with great pressure. Very important. I turn on the water to heat up and get my clothes together for the day. I get in and get my hair wet. Lather in shampoo. If the legs are fuzzy, one gets shaved now and the other after the conditioner is applied. Rinse shampoo, apply conditioner. Lather with body wash (same brand/flavor as the lotion above - Pretty in Pink from Vicki's Secret - a student gave them to me last year and I really like the smell.) Rinse body. Rinse hair. Exit. Toweling occurs in this order - face, arms, body, legs, hair. Oh, and a Q-tip afterwards is a must for the ears. I can't stand wet ears.

3. How do you get yourself up and going in the mornings? Coffee? A hot shower? Breakfast? Would you consider yourself a morning person at all? When do you usually get up?
I am a morning person and provided that I have gotten enough sleep, I don't really need anything to get up and go. My typical routine is such:
alarm, feed cats, bathroom, (shower every other day), dress, brush hair/do minimal prep, make lunch, read while eating breakfast, re-brush hair/brush teeth, pack things, kiss sleeping Mikey, head out the door. I am usually up around 6:30 and out the door around 7:30.

4. Do you normally eat breakfast? What do you usually have? Do you usually make it at home or go out for breakfast, or do you prefer not to eat breakfast?
My favorite breakfast is scrambled eggs and chili beans in a tortilla with sour cream. I have been known to grab a yogurt, a couple peices of toast, or some fruit when in a hurry. I cannot eat cereal on a school day because I am famished by 10:30 if I do. When I go out for breakfast, I order an omelet or pancakes. On rare weekends, we actually make pancakes or french toast at home. Messy.

5. What does your alarm clock sound like? A buzzer, music, or something else? Do you ever set your clock fast so that you push yourself to get ready sooner? Are you usually on time, late, or somewhere in-between?
It sounds like the Beep-Beep-Beep alarms you always hear on TV. Every time I hear that in a commercial my brain shouts "Wake Up!" and I get a shot of adrenaline. I have my bedroom clock set 10 minutes fast, which annoys the hell out of my hubby. I don't know why, because I KNOW it's 10 minutes fast and consequently allow myself to sleep 10 extra minutes. If it is something vitally important, I will be 5-10 minutes early. If not, I am usually a couple minutes late. I try to be on time, but it rarely works.

Pity Him

This is an actual conversation that occured in my house yesterday while we were putting away dishes...
- - -
Mikey: There's no more room for glasses.
Me (looking into the cabinet): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? That's not the way the glasses go*.
Mikey: I couldn't remember how they went because there were none in there when I started**.
Me: You couldn't remember? After 3 years of having them exactly the same, you couldn't remember?
Mikey: Nope. But they'll work this way.
Me: Yes, they will. Which is why I won't make you fix them.
- - -
And every time I have opened that cupboard since then I have had to restrain myself from rearranging them. It has been an excellent exercise in self-control. I would feel sorry for him, except that he knew exactly what he was getting into when he married me.

*Yes, there is a "way" that thing go in my kitchen. It has been carefully arranged for ease of use and clean-up.

**This is from the same man who can't wash more than ten dishes at a time because he can't manage to stack them in a way that won't eventually collapse under its own weight.

Good Morning...

I hope that you are all having a great day. I don't have anything to tell you, just wanted to wish you a happy and productive weekend full of laughter and enjoyment. Peace.

TGIF

Ways to make teaching difficult:

- have a helicopter land on school grounds, accompanied by members of the DEA and a drug sniffing dog
- have a party
- invite the cheer/dance/flag/band squads from the nearby high school to do a pep rally
- have a week of rainy/cloudy/drizzly days
- give them candy
- ask kids to sit still for a 90 minute assembly
- give them caramel apples
- attempt an art project
- get close to Halloween

How to make one day feel like a week:

- do all the above on the same day

If Only

If I were going through the bored-out-of-my-tears process of healing during the month of November I would be participating in NaNoWriMo. Not because I am a good writer or because I have any particular aspirations to author-dom, but because this morning, in the shower, I came up with the BEST idea for a sci-fi story. Seriously. Since the chances of me ever actually writing it are negligable, and since I trust you all implicitely, I will share the idea that could potentially make me a wealthy and famous author. Be sure to mention me in the credits if you steal it.

Here's the deal. It is many years in the future. Everything is pretty much the same. Life goes on...except every once in a whilea person under great duress performs a feat that is technically "impossible". Not just out of the ordinary...really, physically, scientifically impossible. A man desperate to get to a last chance interview before it is too late manages to slow the passage of time until he can get through a snarl of traffic. A woman bring her stillborn child back to life with the power of her denials. A child decides to fly away from an abusive situation, and does it...literally. Things are getting wierd.
The world's top scientists start researching and manage to pinpoint the moment in time when these impossiblities started becoming reality. After a bit more research, they learn that this is the same moment that "a devestating event" (not exactly sure what, but I suspect it has to do with WMDs) occurs. It turns out that everyone - the entire population of Earth was killed in that instant. However, following the premise of so many stories before, those inflicted with death don't realize that they are so inflicted. They go on with their daily lives as before, unaware that anything has changed. And since they all died at the same time, there was no one to notice the shift (aside from the initial feeling of queaziness and disorientation that was shrugged off so casually).
Eventually, it is postulated that what they have been taking for reality for so long (like, 50 years or something) is, in fact, nothing more than a mass hallucination. Or perhaps a figment of a collective imagination. As with any theory, there are believers and non-believers. The trouble is that the believers, suddenly accepting the facts of their own death, immediately puff out of existence. This solidifies the theory with any non-believers who were leaning on the fence and they become believers...and puff out of existence...convincing more non-believers...you get the drift.
In traditional ripple-effect form, people begin puffing out of existence more and more rapidly. Eventually, you are left with a small collective of individuals, who would of course spend many pages discussing what lies on "The Other Side". These folks are struggling to maintain even the basics of their created reality - since the small number of minds leads to a large number of inconsistencies and gaps. Eventually, they decide to give in to the reality of their own deaths, puffing out of existence (and into some unknown), at which time the Earth returns to its own reality. The story ends with a discription of a formerly war-torn, devestated planet showing the first signs of growth and re-birth.

Oh...and if you do steal it...I want a copy of the final product. Thanks.

In Print

The Article was published today. On the front page of section B in our local paper was a whole column about my, my kidney, and my class. The kids were thrilled.

...a group of fourth graders at...

"HEY! That's us! We're in the paper!"

The article was well written and accurate. The author, John Hunneman, always takes a very humane, thoughtful approach to his stories and this was no exception. He listened carefully to what I said and brought out (what I think to be) the most important aspects of the whole situation. I was particularly happy to see that he quoted me as saying,

"One of the reasons I wanted to become a teacher was to have an effect on people's lives...Maybe this will teach my students it's important to be nice to each other and help each other. Maybe this will help them learn there is more to life than big cars and Nintendo."

I couldn't have said it better myself. Oh, wait...

BTW - I saved a copy of the article for myself and one for each household that contains a parental unit. I will either mail them to you, or (more likely given the number of things I have to do) bring them to MN with me and pass them on in person.

Tired. So Very Tired.

I am feeling just the tiniest bit overwhelmed by all the things I have to do before Thanksgiving...

*prepare my students for end of trimester testing

*complete report cards and parent/teacher conferences

*have 1 formal observation from my assistant principal

*have 2 observations from my BTSA mentor

*develop 3 weeks' worth of plans for a sub

*clean house and arrange for cat-sitting for the nearly 2 weeks we'll be gone

*get my oil changed and new tires put on my car

*participate in the time honored tradition of trying to get out of jury duty

*mentally prepare for the day when I give someone else a part of my very own body

I'm going to bed. Wake me when it's over. :)

A Date

The surgery is scheduled for Monday, November 29th. I have to be there for pre-surgery preparations on the Friday before. We're working on arranging travel plans and I am hustling my butt to get ready for 3 weeks of being gone. Wish us luck.


**OOPS - Thanks to Kathy for catching my not so little typo...hope no one was freaking out! :)

Hell's Lawn

From an e-mail that someone I have never met got from someone I have never heard of:

"For love, you visit. You visit hell, if you have to. And if they throw you out of hell, you wait on hell’s lawn, indefinitely."

Hell, yeah. Right on.

Snack Attack!

Apparently hearing that I had a very low sodium level was all it took to convince my brain that I needed to eat nothing but pretzel sticks for days. Perhaps if I were to remove the Bag O' Temptation from my desk where it is easily accessible as I check my e-mail in a post-school snacking frenzy I wouldn't be close to finishing off the bag.

Fame

So, the room mom in my class has notified the local paper about my kidney donation and someone is coming during my prep tomorrow to interview me for a local interest column. Yikes. And I thought I could just do it and the only things people would care about was that I was missing school. I'll let you know how it goes.